Cursed Whispers, Wretched Oceans
by KurokoKawaii17
Summary: Zoro wasn't 'fine'. He was far from it. Cursed whispers haunted his thoughts, along with emotions he never wanted. A wretched ocean threatened to drown him. His heart bled from an undeniable love that blessed and hurt him in unimaginable ways. Was Zoro experiencing something psychological? Or something else? More importantly, what was Sanji's role in all of this?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

***I edited this fanfic up to chapter 15 during my spring break in 2016 so I hope it is better. Anyways thank you very much for clicking on my fanfic. I really appreciate the fact that you took the time to at least try to read my fanfic. I would like to warn you that this is a boyxboy. Though, I am only writing fluff. I am not writing any smut or mature content involving romance. I rated this fanfic M because of the violence, blood and a bit of gore that this fanfic has.  
Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece or any of its wonderful characters.  
I would like to take the time to thank my beta-reader, HadenxCharm, for helping me with this fanfic. Without her, I am positive this fanfic wouldn't have turned out as good as it is.  
Anyways, I hope you will enjoy reading my fanfic.***

"Zoro?"

"Hm?" The swordsman turned to the small concerned voice that beckoned him, dragging him out of his thoughts. Chopper stared at the green-haired man for moment or two; he noted that their swordsman was just staring blankly out to sea instead of training. He didn't even have a weight at an arms length.

"Chopper? Do you need something?" Zoro asked as he returned his gaze to the vast ocean before him. It was a nice day; the sun was out, but it wasn't scorching his skin, and the ocean was its deep blue, a blue so deep and striking that it reminded him of a certain someone.

The reindeer shuffled forward and hugged the swordsman's leg, reeling Zoro back in to reality once again.

"Are you okay?" Chopper asked into his pant leg. A moment of silence caused the little doctor to look up. All he saw was Zoro smiling down at him. The green-haired man patted Chopper's hat before he answered:

"Of course I'm okay. Why wouldn't I be?" Using that soft tone he always directed towards the little doctor.

But on the inside, Zoro hoped that this attentive little reindeer, or any of his nakama for that matter, have not picked up on his… ordeal. They shouldn't have, not after so long…Zoro was always like how he was, there really was no difference, besides, he knew how to act like himself…so then they wouldn't have to worry about him.

"Well, you don't seem quite like yourself lately. Um, I mean you are always like…well, _you_… but something just seems… _off_." Chopper explained slowly with obvious concern as he tightened his grip on the swordsman's leg. Zoro stayed quiet for a little longer than necessary; he had to come up with something smooth, nonchalant, and Zoro-like to say to reassure his little nakama. He had to throw Chopper off to keep him from finding out...Zoro had dealt with this problem for a while and managed, so there was no sense in worrying his nakama about it.

Zoro gave a short sign. "How do I seem 'off', Chopper? It's not like I'm injured or anything. Remember? Didn't you have everyone take a physical not too long ago? I'm _fine_," he reasoned, sounding dismissive and arrogant: completely Zoro-like. Scowling at the ocean, he peeked over to Chopper who was still looking up at him with big, dark, skeptical eyes.

After another moment of thought, Chopper decided to give Zoro the benefit of the doubt, smiled, and then bounded off to play with Luffy and Usopp, leaving the swordsman with his thoughts and the sea.

_'Damn it. Seems like they are close to finding out. Shit. Even __**I**__ don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. I've been like this for as long as I can remember, maybe, ever since__** that**__ day... since my hardships first burdened me. But…why am I like this? I never once regretted a damn thing I've done, not a single choice I made, and never have I cared for what others did…or said… Damn it._

Zoro once again felt that dreaded wave of absolute despair crash over him and swallow him entirely; the wrenched ocean within him that never seemed to stop trying to drown him. The wrathful ocean welled up to the crown of his head once again; when will it stop? When will this ocean be satisfied with trying to make him suffer? As he felt his lungs tightened with the sheer amount of pressure within his wretched ocean, he could feel that damned knife - the same, exact one that was _still_ lodged within his chest - twist guilt-filled emotions into him: the unraveling guilt slowly pulse thorough every vein, every artery.

Zoro knew what it was. He wasn't ignorant. He _knew_ what he was feeling; about the war within himself, the war that he was slowly, but surely losing. Zoro was struggling with deep and etched memories within his heart, emotions that he would never be able to fully let go; he was never able to fully let out; he never let himself express.

There was only one way he knew how deal with the building pressure, without admitting to anything, without saying a damned word; and that was through fighting, through training.

"OI! YOU FUCKIN MARIMO!" That familiar, deep voice shouted at him. '_Speaking of a fight'._ Zoro thought as he heard the cook stomp across the deck to reach the swordsman.

Zoro instinctively unsheathed Wadou and whipped around so he could block the kick that he knew was coming at him. The cook's shoe met with metal. Zoro's eyes narrowed as they met with that furious, yet beautiful, ocean-blue orb. The swordsman felt his heart do that damn thing it always did when he saw the chef; it fluttered in his chest. It. Fucking. _Fluttered_.

"I said 'Lunch is _ready_' Moss-head," Sanji snarled as he pressed his shoe into the katana. Zoro huffed as he glared at the fumed blonde. '_Was that really a reason to attack me?'_ The green-haired man sullenly thought, pushing his katana into then pulling away from the threatening shoe and sheathing it. He felt himself shrivel on the inside when he thought about how the cook just _hated_ him; when he thought that _that _was the reason why the chef attacked him.

Don't get Zoro wrong - he loved the meaningless fights he had with the cook, the constant battles and challenges. He just didn't like how the cook treated him like _shit_ all the time; being attacked for the simplest things, things that he didn't have to be attacked for. Fighting was fine. But, Sanji was just attacking him for the simplest things.

Just the thought...just the thought of Sanji being cruel to him, for things that almost amount to nothing; for things as simple as not hearing him say that lunch was ready, completely drained all the strength Zoro had for an angry reply.

"Okay. Geez, shit-cook, you could have just told me like a civilized human being," Zoro hissed as he walked past the cook and towards the galley. Zoro passed a somewhat shocked cook in his wake.

_'Zoro didn't get as pissed like he usually would have… He would usually talk back and we would fight… Maybe I am looking too much into this. Besides it's not like I care… Right?'_ The cook reasoned with as he followed behind.

: -:

_'Shit, shit, shit, what the fuck is wrong with me?'_ Zoro thought as he chatted happily away with Luffy and Usopp, laughing at another stupid joke.

_'It's been getting harder to be normal; to act like myself. Why? I was 'fine' not too long ago. Is it now starting to wear me down? It can't be. I'm stronger than that… Damn it, I'm going to end up worrying them. I'm going to end up being seen as pitiable. I'm going to end up… Weak.'_ Hurt by his own thoughts, for what seemed to be the one hundred millionth time that week, Zoro took a long drink of sake.

Sake proved to be another way he stimulated himself.

_'Damn. How could I let this go on for so long? How come I have yet to become better? The people I love surround me, I get to train and fight all I want, I get to drink all the booze I like, and I get to follow my dream. Why the hell am I...? Why the hell am I like this?…'_

Though the swordsman _knew_ why, but he couldn't _understand_ why. Those things had happened so long ago. Why were they still affecting him? Or…was there something else he hadn't taken take into account yet, something he hadn't noticed that brought him to continue to feel the way he has been feeling, something that unknowingly kept him in the, what seemed to be an, eternal rut he has been damned with.

No, not something. Some_one_.

_'Shit. Fuck emotions. Wish I nev'r had 'em. I just have to kill them, right? I've just gotta' get rid of the damned things…'_

He took another lengthy draw of his sake, letting his mind go into a helpless and hopeless string of unanswered questions and worthless thoughts that consumed him as easily as he consumed the sake.

"Oi, Marimo… Marimo… Marimo!" Drawn out of his thoughts, Zoro turned to the owner of the voice. Sanji stood at the sink, hands on his slim hips and glare fixated on the swordsman.

"What are you spacing out for, Shit-head, it's your turn to help out with the dishes," the cook said in a heartless tone as he turned back to the dishes that needed to be tended to. Zoro stayed where he sat at the table, deciding to ignore what the cook had said for the common good. Realizing that everyone cleared the room, and that he was alone, with a fairly attractive chef, Zoro's gut clenched.

Shaking his head to clear the thought of the cook being attractive, Zoro stood, walked over to the sink, and grabbed a rag.

The two worked in a peaceful silence, the clinking of dishes and the slightest of splashes being the only things heard. The repeated motions of drying plates became a type of meditation for Zoro: it distracted him from the horrid emotions he harbored, and lit the way for others.

As Zoro dried the dishes handed to him and piled them neatly next to him, he stole sneaky several glances at the unsuspecting cook, causing his heart to pound in his chest. Sanji's expression was at peace. His visible eye was thoughtful as his skilled, elegant hands worked at the grime on the pan currently in his possession. A cigarette was placed between two pale pink lips with a trail of smoke in its wake. His golden hair was graced with the sunlight pouring in through the porthole, and his suit was neat and pressed, enhancing the elegance, grace, and desirability of the cook. Unbeknownst to Sanji, Zoro quietly admired him while they worked. Then, all too soon, the dishes were done.

The nice, warm, fluffy feeling Zoro had had as he watched the cook evaporated, leaving behind hopelessness and dejection as the thought of the cook being straight rang in his head and beat in his heart.

_'The cook, Sanji, will __**never**__ love a brute like you. You are a man: Sanji is utterly obsessed with women. You are practically scum to him, for being a man, and for being yourself. Besides,__** he hates you. **__He will__** never, ever love you,**__'_ that whisper in his head hissed.

Dejectedly, Zoro agreed with that whisper. Sanji would never return the feelings he had for him. Zoro was just a 'dumbass marimo with no merits,' as the shit-cook had put it once before. And, frankly, Zoro was a man. Sanji would never even _consider_ Zoro as a potential lover since he was as straight as a fucking flagpole.

Just when the swordsman was about to leave with his wretched thoughts, and overwhelming melancholy, the cook spoke.

"What's up with you, Marimo? You've been spacing out more than usual."

Stunned at the question, Zoro stopped in his tracks and looked over his shoulder to the cook, trying to be as nonchalant as possible. He really, _really_ hoped that it wasn't showing on his face that he was seized with panic. Sanji was onto him. Zoro sure as hell, didn't know how, but that didn't change the fact that Sanji was asking about it, about Zoro's behavior. Well, _shit_. How what the fuck is Zoro supposed to do?

Sanji returned his gaze with an expressionless countenance; he leaned back against the sink counter and folded his arms in expectancy, silently waiting for the marimo to turn on his brain to come up and with a remotely intelligent answer.

_'What…? He's asking about __**me**__? __**Sanji**__ is asking about __**me**__? I thought he would care more about grass growing or paint drying, than about how I'm doing.'_

The swordsman hesitated in his answer, taking in the fact that _Sanji_ was the one noticing and asking about him. After another moment, Zoro turned to the cook and smirked. He had to keep up his act.

He _cannot_ let them - especially Sanji - find out about his ordeal. He would be looked down upon. Sanji would be disgusted. He would be pissed. He would be mortified. He might even feel...sorry...or _bad_ for Zoro and his pathetic, insignificant feelings. They would no longer be equals. Something Zoro would certainly not be able to live through - which is saying something, because he's lived through a hell of a lot of shit.

"Eh? Are you worried about me, Shit-cook?" he countered with just the right amount of arrogance to him off and distract him from his objective of getting into Zoro's rather…_personal_…business.

Much to Zoro's disbelief, the cook didn't take the bait. Unchanging in his manner, Sanji just stared back in mute expectance, and when Zoro didn't explain himself, he walked towards the table that Zoro was standing next to, and leaned over the table, putting his weight on his hand only to look at the swordsman who was inwardly astonished. When Zoro still didn't reply, Sanji raised that damned, stupid, idiotically charming curly eyebrow and waited.

_**'Shit**__. He's serious. He seems determined to figure out what's up with me. Fuck. Not good. Gotta think of something to keep him from finding out…' _When Sanji was unchanging in his expression, Zoro began to panic even more.

However, before the swordsman could even start to weave together another impeccable lie, Luffy's call erupted throughout the entire ship, completely saving Zoro from his unwanted situation.

"GUYS! I SEE AN ISLAND! LAAAAND-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

When Sanji was effectively distracted and looked up, completely forgetting their exchange, Zoro felt relief wash over him for a second before those miserable emotions replaced it. He didn't have to lie again.

_Thank God! Just got away. Now, I have time to either cover my ass or, hopefully, the cook will forget about it when he becomes an idiotic maniac that will practically kill himself for that sadistic bitchy navigator._ He frowned, a pang of guilt and sorrow rang throughout him for what seemed to be the one-hundredth time that day; but he quickly gathered himself before the cook saw his frown and began suspecting him again.

Too bad the chef had already noticed it.

"Let's go," Zoro grumbled, as he turned to leave the kitchen, hoping beyond hope that Sanji would just abandon his curiosity for the swordsman. "Nami is gonna have a horse if we don't go and help dock."

"Oi, don't talk about my mellorine like that you shithead! Hey! I **will** kick you senseless you shitty-swordsman!" Zoro heard behind him as he lazily roamed onto the deck. Sanji was pissed at him, per usual.

_See? He will never have any feelings for you. He already loves someone else and besides…he's as straight as they come._ The whisper cooed in the swordsman's head.

Another frown replaced the permanent scowl.

_I already knew that. Ever since the moment I noticed that…I…I loved him._ Zoro darkly told the whisper.

"Zoro! Sanji! Luffy! Usopp! Chopper! Franky! Brook! Get ready to land! You idiots! What the hell are you waiting for! Geez! It seems to be a summer island so this shouldn't be too much trouble. OI! LUFFY! STOP GOOFING AROUND AND LIFT THE DAMN SAILS!"

And with that from an outraged Nami, the crew flew into a frenzy getting the ship ready to dock. But, throughout the entire preparation of the ship to land, Zoro couldn't shake the uneasy feeling in his gut. Something was bothering him and he knew that that could only mean trouble.

***Again, thank you for reading, and please leave a review so I know how I'm doing. I am very curious as to what people think. But if you don't want to review, that's okay too. Favoriting and following helps me think that I am doing something right, and if you don't want to do that too, then again that's okay. I really appreciate the fact that you clicked on my fanfic. =)  
****Please have a good day!***


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"Oi, oi, oi, why do I have to take the marimo with me?" Sanji half-heartedly complained to Nami while Usopp, Luffy, and Brook darted into the white-marbled town.

Nami signed heavily at their chef as he continued to pout. The Straw Hats had successfully landed Thousand Sunny at the picturesque dock of this new island. It appeared to be tropical, for palm trees and luscious vibrant green vegetation decorated the island, and a lone, white-marbled town rested near its shore. It was rather beautiful: it was like Greece on an island. The townspeople seem rather peaceful too.

Meanwhile, the crew was trying to decide what they were going to do, having arranged themselves in a circle that was missing four members. Zoro leaned back against the mass, looking out to sea in a daze. Sanji noticed this, a nerve pinching in his forehead in irritation, but before he could yell at the marimo to come and pay attention, Nami answered the daft cook's question; he'd almost forgotten that he'd asked.

'_Stupid Marimo, distracting me all the time,'_ Sanji pouted as he listened.

"Because someone has to look out for him. He'll get lost all on his own! -" Zoro squeezed in an annoyed 'Oi!' as Nami continued "Usopp, Brook, and Luffy already left to do whatever the hell they do, and Robin, Franky, Chopper, and I are going into town to buy clothes and whatever other necessities we need, to gather some intel about this island, and to find out how long it will take the log pose to set," Nami huffed as she crossed her arms and glowered at the pouting cook.

"Besides, you probably need someone strong to carry all of your ingredients, since we have been sailing for quite a while. We're probably running low on food. Oh, and my group won't be long so you can leave the ship shortly after us," she added in an attempt to lessen the cooks 'misfortune' of not being paired with one of his precious ladies. It seemed to work when Sanji cheered up at the idea of using Zoro as a pack mule. In his joy, he pulled out a cigarette, lit it, and inhaled deeply, relishing the second cancer-stick of the day.

"Hear that, Marimo? You're with me." Sanji said while exhaling, releasing the smoke trapped within his lungs. Sanji began to walk in the direction everyone else had gone, but he didn't hear anything behind him. There wasn't a sign that the moss-ball was following.

Sanji growled at the lack of acknowledgement from the marimo, briskly turned around, and marched towards him, but all of his motivation to kick Zoro drained from his body and went into the deck's floorboards. Once Sanji saw Zoro, he stopped in his tracks and his heart thumped like it did every time he laid eyes on that shitty-swordsman.

Zoro's sun-kissed muscles were relaxed where he was lounging against the mast. His sculpted back rested against the wood, his shaped shoulders slacked, his white shirt pressed into a chiseled chest and abs that were curved as his leg crossed over the other. The sea breeze played with the swordsman's hair; gently weaving its fingers through the short green hair. His three earrings glittered and chimed in the wind. His simple clothing pushed into him, defining his already noticeable muscles. The sun's light caused the shadows of the indents in Zoro's muscles and his contours to deepen; it made his skin shine and his hair appeared to be a lighter, softer, warmer shade of green.

Sanji openly gawked at the oblivious marimo in admiration and astonishment. This wasn't the first time the cook would describe the moss-ball as attractive, but in this moment, Sanji thought that Zoro was undeniably _handsome_. Moreover, Sanji was neither disgusted nor ashamed of his rather outrageous thoughts. He was used to them by now. He'd stolen glances before, but now, he couldn't help _but_ stare. His face flushed slightly, and his heart fluttered.

Zoro was completely breathtaking as he looked out to the deep blue sea.

Then Sanji's eyes trailed up Zoro's well-defined neck to his face.

He felt his heart tighten and his body tense as he took in Zoro's countenance.

Zoro's half-lidded, green eyes seemed to be glazed over in quiet, sullen contemplation as they stared out to a spot on the ever-moving sea. His lips curved into a small frown and his jaw was set. His usual creased eyebrows were only slightly drawn together and his scowl was gone. Sanji's breath caught in his throat, mouth slightly gaping and eyes widened.

'_What is wrong with my marimo?'_

Zoro's expression was desolate. It wasn't blank or thoughtful like it usually was whenever his scowl was gone; he wasn't just daydreaming; he wasn't half asleep. Zoro was _despondent_. Zoro looked as if he was in silent anguish and was just keeping his mouth shut and taking it behind his sullen eyes.

"Zoro?" Sanji murmured as he thoughtlessly took a step forward and stretched his hand out to touch him.

At the rare sound of his name slipping through the cook's lips, Zoro's eyes widened slightly and his head turned to the concerned curly brow. With Zoro's unexpected movement, Sanji's fingertips touched Zoro's cheek, almost as if Sanji had lightly caressed his face. Sanji saw and felt Zoro tense and realized he had followed suit. Oceanic eyes met moss-green ones. Sanji's breath caught once more when he saw the faintest of blushes rise on the swordsman's cheeks and he felt his own face heat up. Knowing that he was turning red and that Zoro could see, his heart quickened and his stomach did somersaults.

'_Shit. I am so fucked. I already knew I was attracted to this marimo bastard, but I never thought it was this bad! What the fuck should I do? Shit. I have to try to make it seem like I don't. I've done a fuckin great job at it so far. Besides, this shitty swordsman will never feel the same: he's just uncomfortable or confused as to why I reached out and touched his face. It's not a love blush. It's __**not,**__ damn it.'_

Sanji nonchalantly pulled his hand away, stomped out his drained cigarette and patted himself down for another. Sanji acted oblivious to Zoro's adorable confusion about what had just happened, but Sanji continued acting like it had been nothing, just an accident. Zoro looked at Sanji with a mix of embarrassment, confusion, and awkwardness, and then quickly turned his head away. It took all of Sanji's self-control to not seize the moss-ball and kiss the hell out of him, so much so that he didn't notice that he'd used the word 'adorable' to describe him.

"What do you want, Curly-brow?"

"We have to go and get ingredients, Shitty-swordsman. Get your shit together and follow me. Wait, you know what? Walk in _front_ of me so that you won't get hopelessly lost. I don't wanna' have to save your sorry ass," Sanji said roughly, hoping he didn't sound nervous as he smoked another cigarette to calm down. Honestly, those words pained him like they never had before. Using that tone of voice with Zoro felt like trying to swallow a knife.

Sanji wasn't the type to _constantly_ bully the one he likes, but that was all he'd ever _done_ to Zoro. Sanji just didn't see any other way around it, because… well, this was _Zoro_: the man that would rather commit seppuku than be with Sanji, even though he wasn't a samurai.

'_Meh. Who am I kidding, I __**do**__ like to bully the one I like, just not __**all of the damn time**__. I'd really like to be kind to him, but … Well, it's better not dwell on the impossible…but who knows. This is the Grand Line after all, the place where the impossible is possible. Maybe, just maybe… He might feel the same way… Hmmm this is worse than I thought. I have to keep my hope at a minimum…Can I even do that?' _the daft cook thought as he meandered off, leaving the cute moss-ball to follow behind.

: -:

"Damn it, Marimo! How the hell are you able to get lost when you're supposed to be following me?! Especially when I told you we are supposed to be moving _forward_, as in, a fuckin' straight line! Besides, you can't even go to the left since the sea is right fucking there!" Sanji scolded the moss-head while he inspected a weird-ass fish that had two fucking heads and an antenna thing with bluish purple scales. The cook scowled at the poor dead freak, and then bought it. Placing it in Zoro's backpack, Sanji directed his scowl at the bag and sneaked a peak at the stupid swordsman.

Zoro was pouting, his lower lip protruding as he looked straight ahead, trying to ignore Sanji's insults since he had no excuse. Sanji froze…for the second time that day. '_When…? When did he get… so… so damn cute!? He's adorable!'_ Sanji stood and stared, oblivious to the fact that he was bluntly gazing at a _man_ in broad daylight. And frankly he has yet to care. He was just about to reach out and cup Zoro's cheek but then he pulled himself out of his daze, his hand retracted.

'_Wait… Zoro is… 'cute'? Wow… I really am screwed… No, it's far worse than that. I'm doomed. I fell for a marimo. I knew that shitty Kamabakka Kingdom fucked with my head.'_

Sanji wasn't as idiotic as the shit-swordsman would like to think. He knew when he 'd fallen for someone. He knew what he was feeling. He may always be fawning over every beautiful woman he comes across, but he ever rarely felt any true feelings of serious romantic attraction. When he **did** feel that attraction, he knew. That being said, Sanji knew that these heart palpitations weren't the result of smoking too much and that being nervous wasn't because he'd gone too long without a cigarette. He wasn't delusional, and this wasn't just a phase. He'd actually fallen in love with Roronoa Zoro …what eluded him was… how? How had this happened? How had it come to this? How had he not noticed until now? When had _this_ even _started_?

Sanji pondered on how this phenomenon had happened and left himself to his thoughts while he dragged the moss-ball along by a rope he'd tied around his neck. Needless to say, Zoro wasn't happy about that at all, but he couldn't fight back since the rope tightened whenever he struggled. He wasn't about to risk cutting the rope either unless he felt like getting kicked in the head.

'_Hm, well the moss-ball __**is**__ fucking adorable no matter how many times he would say he wasn't. I mean he __**just**__ demonstrated that he was cute... and__every time he sulks or pouts or gets confused, or whenever we fight, he's always so cute … and… he's so determined… Well, I guess you could call it being stubborn, but… I really like that about him. He's always pushing and pushing, going beyond human limits, to accomplish his dream. He always keeps his promises. He's reliable even though he's lazy. Oh, and we have our fights and banter! I love the petty fights we have. I love the fights where we are both equal. When polished shoes clash with cherished katanas. I love when we work together. I love the rivalry. I love the companionship. I love his sleeping face when he is completely at peace.'  
_

Sanji bit his lip, '_Now that I think about it, I love all of that moss-ball's expressions. I love…'_ Sanji trailed off when he realized his heart was fluttering and that he was smiling lovingly just thinking about the marimo. 

Sanji realized that he'd been thinking, 'I love' repeatedly. Though, he suddenly had a nagging feeling in his gut that was telling him that something wasn't right, but he paid it no mind as he continued to idly walk along.

"Sanji!"

Before Sanji could register what had just happened, he felt a searing, piercing pain in his abdomen, a shockwave rattling his bones. The sound finally caught up and exploded in his ears, leaving his head ringing as he clutched his gut. Sanji hissed and staggered back into the marimo, who grabbed him before he could collapse to his knees. Sanji ignored the concerned look of dread on Zoro's face and glared at the culprit who had just shot a hole into his stomach. Blue eyes looked up to meet gray ones.

"Smoker." Sanji stood shakily and spat blood onto the concrete as he scanned the area.

Zoro recovered from his shock and unsheathed his precious katanas; they were surrounded. Marines encircled them; there were some of them on the rooftops and there was even a ship filled with those blasted lackeys.

"Well, well, how careless of you. Usually, you would have at least sensed us. Eh, it's not like I care anyway. Blackleg Sanji, Roronoa Zoro, you, who are part of Straw-hat Luffy's crew, are under arrest," Smoker sighed, releasing trapped smoke from him mouth.

Sanji immediately felt as though something wasn't right with the commander, trying to think through the blinding pain coursing through him. He could hardly stand up, but that didn't keep him from noticing Smoker's strange attitude. 

'_He usually wouldn't address us like that, right? He would have stroke up some idle chitchat first. Weird. He usually doesn't talk like this either; his impression is more laid back. These are pretty weak arguments but I know one thing for sure, something is definitely wrong. I can feel it in my gut… Wait… What's that weird mark on his forehead?'_ Sanji noticed a slight discoloration on the marine's face. If one were to look closely one could see a small dark red flame right in-between his eyebrows.

Sanji glanced back to see that Zoro had also noticed the mark. Zoro glanced at Sanji and their eyes met; an understanding passed between the two. Smoker was acting strange, something was wrong, and that they both knew what they had to do. But then Zoro did something Sanji didn't expect. He shrugged and growled: "Go to G-d damn hell, you mother-fuckers." His eyes were consumed with pure hatred, malice, and anger, before leaping into the fray.

Sanji was taken aback for a moment, panting and clutching his bleeding stomach as he stretched his legs. 

'_Zoro doesn't usually say stuff like that before he fights. Why does he look like that…?'_ Sanji wondered. As he got a handle on the pain of his bullet-wound, he quickly blocked a sword as a marine came at him.

After a few minutes of bodies and blood flying, the only ones left standing were the lackey marines who were towards the back of the huge-ass crowd prior, the marine ship, the marines on the roofs, Smoker, Zoro, and Sanji.

Smoker attacked Sanji while Zoro sunk the ship in one fell swoop, cutting it into perfect halves. The silent agreement was that Zoro should go take care of the underlings quickly while Sanji bought him time so they could then they could gang-up on Smoker. Sanji just hoped he could hold out before he passed out from blood loss. It was getting harder and harder to perform high kicks with that bullet wound tugging every time his stomach tensed.

Zoro took out the rest of the petrified grunts. When the last one fell, he heard a scream that made his blood freeze. That was _Sanji's_ scream. Zoro swiftly turned to his cook to witness something he was never going to un-see.

Sanji was struggling fiercely against a suffocating hold of smoke, being repeatedly stabbed. Smoker was holding Sanji up with one smoke arm and had a large knife embedded in Sanji's chest with his other hand. Sanji was coughing up blood; almost choking on it too. His handsome face was contorted in pain. It was unusually inhumane; Sanji was basically being tortured, right in front of his eyes, and just the thought of it made Zoro snap. 

The green demon disappeared and reappeared in front of the unsuspecting commander. Zoro's hated-filled glare was shot towards the marine. Zoro slashed at smoke that countered and trapped Zoro as it had Sanji. Zoro held his breath against the smoke and glanced at the cook, who had crumpled to the ground, lying still against the pavement in a growing puddle of blood. 

'_I need to get him to Chopper. He's losing too much blood!'_

Before Zoro could act, Smoker stabbed him in the chest, bringing his attention back to their fight. Some quick jabs and then some painstakingly slow stabs were inflicted. It was as if Smoker was just trying to 'spice things up' by changing the speed at which he stabbed his victim. Though, Zoro didn't react accordingly, face blank and uninterested, causing Smoker some alarm, enough that his grip loosened. Zoro positioned himself to break free, satisfied that his lack of response to the piercing of his skin had bewildered his assailant, causing him to carelessly loosen his hold.

However, Smoker wasn't stupid. He quickly tightened his grip on the swordsman, causing Zoro's wounds to gush blood. Zoro didn't give a single fuck as he forced himself into an advantageous position and tried his damnedest to break free. And he did. Zoro forced himself out of Smoker's grip, surprising the motherfucker, and then slashing the marine before he could turn into smoke.

In his astonishment, Smoker clutched his bleeding chest, and quick as lightning, Zoro snatched Sanji off the pavement. He quickly noted that the cook was barely conscious, and then ran as fast as he could.

He had to get to Chopper. Sanji was losing way too much blood. Zoro desperately looked for either his nakama or the ship so they could save his cook. Zoro could feel the blood he never wanted to see start to seep through their clothing, dying his white shirt red.

'_Shit. Shit. Shit! I have to get Chopper! I have to get to the ship!' _Zoro chanted a he searched.

: -:

"Dammit. Sanji… Sanji!" Sanji's head turned slightly, feeling fuzzy and dazed. A dull pain pulse throughout his body, but otherwise he felt numb. 

"Zoro?" Sanji croaked, voice raw and scratchy from the smoke exposure. '_Where am I? I thought I was fighting Smoker? Damn, my throat hurts. It hurts to breathe.'  
_

"Sanji! How do I get to the ship?" '_Huh? We're going back? Why? Weren't we fighting marines?'  
_

Sanji lifted his head slightly and lazily gazed at their surroundings, blood being pounded out of him with every heavy footfall as Zoro ran at a breakneck pace. 

"We went across the whole fucking town. Take the next right turn." Sanji wheezed. After a series of turns and the occasional wrong turn, they returned to the ship in a frenzy.

"OI!" Zoro yelled, hoping that Chopper had come back. 

"Chopper!" 

"Hey, what is it, Zo-" The little reindeer looked over the edge of the ship and took in the sight of his two injured nakama. As expected, he reacted immediately "_Zoro!_ What happened! Come on, get on the ship and take Sanji to the infirmary!" Chopper ordered, throwing a roped ladder down.

Zoro executed all of what he was told. He scurried up the ladder, and took the chef to the infirmary, following the little doctor. Once they arrived they burst through the doors.

"Put him on the bed!"

Zoro did exactly that. As gently and as quickly as he could, he placed the cook on the bed and awaited further instruction.

"You can take care of me afterwards. Just… help Sanji first… please." Zoro whispered with a straight face while looking at the unconscious cook's face. Zoro saw the disbelief in Chopper's demeanor when he heard how Zoro said this. He'd sounded like he was pleading. But the reindeer decided to ignore it at the moment since his attention was needed elsewhere.

"Yeah. I will have to give him a blood transfusion and operate on him." Chopper evaluated Sanji while he talked and got ready for the operation. "He has a few broken ribs, a bullet wound, his right tibia is fractured, he sustained a heavy amount of blood loss, smoke inhalation, multiple deep, jagged stab wounds and," Chopper paused in his evaluation. By the time he'd started listing off what was wrong the cook everyone excluding Usopp, Luffy, and Brook were present and panting from running behind the doctor and swordsman. 

Chopper glanced at them, not wasting anymore time. "Zoro, grab the syringe and give it to me- and Sanji-" he finally continued after ordering the swordsman around, "Sanji has some torn muscle tissue, and is bleeding internally" Chopper finished his preparations and shoved Zoro out of the room along with everyone else. "I have to hurry and try to fix him so wait out here. This may take awhile, since he might have nerve damage. His organs might shut down if I don't repair them quickly." With that, the little doctor shut the door, leaving everyone rattled, unnerved, and scared.

After absorbing the information, Nami turned to Zoro who was just staring blankly at the door, letting his wounds bleed.

"Zoro." She didn't get a response from the swordsman.

"Zoro." Still nothing. His blood was leaking into the floorboards, staining them.

"Zoro!" Nami hissed at him so she wouldn't disturb Chopper. When she didn't get a reaction, she softly shoved the swordsman.

"What," He finally said with a sigh. The shove caused pain to course throughout his body, but Zoro didn't care as he raised a calloused hand to his face and rubbed his eyes, and then pinching the bridge of his nose.

"What happened? How did Sanji get like that!? Why are you two so banged up!?" Nami harshly whispered with concern and a hidden anger he found in her voice.

"Marines ambushed us. Smoker did this-" Zoro gestured to the door and then to his own wounds, "to us." He dropped his hand and turned his attention to the infirmary door, not wanting to see the disbelief in the remaining crew's faces.

"Smoker did this? Something like this? I thought he didn't use blades!" Nami talked at Zoro.

"He doesn't," Zoro said to the door, realization washing over him, although his countenance revealed nothing. This proved it; something was definitely wrong with Smoker. 

'_What the fuck was that red flame mark on his forehead? Now that I think about it, it almost looked like a bruise or something. I feel like I have seen it somewhere before… Why can't I remember? Is it because I try to forget my past? … Yeah, when I think about it that must be it. But now the biggest question is: Why does it scare the shit out of me?'_

"Zoro" He was dragged out of his thoughts again when he heard Robin speak up for the first time, and it was his name nonetheless. He glanced back at her to let her know he was listening. She continued, "Are you okay?"

The question caught his attention, and he cocked his head towards her as she stood next to a sullen Franky.

"I've just got some cuts and a couple broken ribs. I'm fine, trust me. This isn't nearly enough to take me down. Sanji took the most damage," Zoro stated flatly, nothing given away in his voice other than the low hiss that it took to get the words out. He touched his chest tenderly, taking a shuddery breath, pain bursting through the area with even the slightest movement. He could feel the break with his fingers, wheezing as he tried and failed to take a deep inhale.

"Just need to rest," he said with a grunt, sitting down on the floor, facing the door. It was a stubborn and Zoro-ish thing to do, to not admit that he needed medical attention, and none of them would question it. They wouldn't notice what was going on inside him, not the upending doom he was feeling, not the unbearable amount of guilt and desolation, not the hopelessness and loneliness. Nothing.

Robin stared at him and he stared back. It was as if she were trying to look for a ghost; she knew the swordsman was hiding something. She knew something was there but she couldn't see what it was and she didn't have much evidence to prove that there was something in the swordsman to begin with. But she knew something was not 'fine' with the swordsman to begin with. Whatever it was, she knew that something was definitely amiss with their swordsman.

Robin smiled at her new mystery. "Well, that's good swordsman-san. Let's give you some first-aid so that you don't lose too much blood. Since you are, well, still bleeding," Robin pointed out as she asked Franky to guide the swordsman out of the hall to follow.

Zoro refused to move from his new spot next to the door, and Robin compromised and helped him right where he sat. Nami gave up in trying to scold and nag Zoro for answers, so she left with a sigh and went back to the deck in hopes that the marines wouldn't find them anytime soon; the fucking log pose set in two weeks, so they were pretty much screwed until Sanji and Zoro recovered and their dumbass captain came back.

A heavy silence engulfed the hallway, and as soon as Robin had finished, she bid the swordsman farewell and left Franky with Zoro. Silence occupied the space once again, just to be shattered. 

"You know, Zoro-bro, this isn't your fault." Zoro looked up at the cyborg as he looked past Zoro, at the door.

"We all know you guys are abnormally powerful. We all know that smoke that can disperse and harden around something is completely at your guys' disadvantage since you _are_ fighting with a gas." Franky turned to Zoro and smiled. 

"You guys are some lucky bastards you know that? You and Sanji should be dead if you went up against Smoker!" He laughed heartily.

Zoro clamped a hand over his gigantic mouth and hushed him before Chopper murdered them with a cleaned scalpel, and he genuinely smiled at the cyborg.

"Yeah. Thanks, Franky." That had undeniably comforted Zoro but it didn't change anything. Not that Zoro was ungrateful to the gesture; it's just that, Zoro simply didn't agree.

"Well, I should get going. Oh, I should tell you that the log pose is gonna' set in two weeks' time so hurry up and get well soon. With Smoker here causing trouble, we need you two and Luffy. Anyway, if you need us, just shout." With that Franky departed as well, leaving Zoro to his thoughts, which were plagued with the cook and negativity. Zoro leaned back against the wall, rested a bloodied arm on a knee and let his head fall backwards, hitting the wood with a thud.

'_How the fuck__** isn't**__ this my fault? Sanji can take care of himself, I know that and I don't doubt it. He's strong and reliable… but… If I had just… been a little bit faster, if I had trained a little harder, I could have gotten there before it got that bad. Damn that shitty-cook, he probably withheld his screams of pain so he wouldn't give Smoker what he wanted, but that meant I couldn't hear that he was in trouble!'_

Zoro shook his head in disgust. '_That guy was out for blood. That was fucking sadistic… but, if I had been the one to go up against Smoker when we split up, __**he**__ wouldn't be in that bed getting patched up. Sanji wouldn't have been the object of that man's sadism. If only I had paid more attention to my instincts. If only I weren't distracted. If only I had been stronger. If I wasn't so weak… I could… I could protect the ones I love.'_ Zoro squeezed his eyes shut.

His mouth went dry and he clenched his fists, nails digging in his palm so deep that he drew blood. He felt some of his wounds bleed harder; but he'd never given a fuck before so he wasn't going to start now. He could bleed out for all he cared. It wasn't as if he felt the pain anyways. It wasn't as if he was scared of death. In fact, if he were to meet the Grim Reaper, he would tell the demon to go fuck itself.

'_**No**__. Zoro, don't think about it. Don't think about that time. Don't remember. You can't…'_ He let out the breath he held.

'_But how can't you.'_

Zoro was just about to calm himself down, when that little tendril of doubt whispered in his ear. Zoro froze; gut tensing up and forcing blood out into his bandages.

'_How can't you think about that time? Or the time after that? Or after that? How can't you remember? How can you even begin to forget? Besides, this __**is**__ another irreplaceable person. What if Sanji died? Another wound on a bleeding heart. Another injury that Chopper can't fix. That's all Sanji would be. If he wasn't already.' _Zoro paused.

Wait… So, Sanji was, _what_? Hurting him? But what does that mean exactly? 'Another wound on a bleeding heart?' What the fuck does that mean? Where the hell did that even come from?

'_Yeah. Haven't you noticed? Dumbass. Why do you think you still feel the way you do? You get all happy when __**he**__ is around, but then you remember that he __**hates**__ you and that you will__** never**__ be with him__**. A pathetic actuality**__. He will __**certainly not**__ fall in love with you. I bet he would curse you to his __**fucking grave**__. You are so __**damn pathetic!**__ And even __**if**__ by __**any**__ chance he were gay or bi-sexual, __**you**__ would __**never**__ be his type. But it's worse, since he is as straight a fucking arrow! Ha, I mean get fucking __**real**__. You don't even have the slightest of chances. You are the only one enjoying yourself like a masochistic bitch while that guy is getting actual bitches.'  
_

Zoro's eyes widened and watered. He straightened up, his injuries shooting several waves of pain through him, but he didn't pay a mind to any of that; it's not like he felt them anymore. He knew he was in a great deal of pain, but it was like it didn't register and all of the sharpness turned dull. All Zoro was concerned about was his own thoughts. No matter how optimistic this cynical swordsman got, the whispers would come back and haunt him. The thoughts, the whispers… It got worse and worse as time progressed.

Before, Zoro could dismiss them as he would dismiss his cook, but now, now Zoro actually _believed_ this shit, and he knew that's all it was! Absolute, one hundred percent authentic bullshit! He fucking _knew_ it! And yet… he couldn't help but believe it… He thought about it so often… for so long… Now, Zoro couldn't even tell if what he was thinking was his own thoughts or if that whispering was coming from somewhere else.

Zoro's self-loathing thoughts were scattered and forgotten the moment he heard the undeniable click of the infirmary door unlocking. Chopper was done. Zoro quickly ran a hand over his face as to wear off the fatigue he felt and to make sure any moisture was successfully dried. Chopper opened the door. Zoro's hope faded. Chopper had his doctor face on.

They stared at each other for a moment, and then the doctor broke down and wept. Zoro was pleased to see that the tears were of relief.

"You guys are some lucky bastards!" Chopper managed to wail in-between sobs.

"Yeah. I've been told."

Chopper felt a calloused hand cup his face, and he looked up innocently to the green-haired man.

Zoro looked genuinely happy. Chopper witnessed a sincere smile from their guarded swordsman, as the man who had killed a countless amount of people, gently wiped his tears away.

"So I'm guessing there's good and bad news?" Zoro said with a small smirk, which was more of a sad lop-sided smile. It lacked Zoro's usual edge, but the reindeer decided to ignore it for the moment.

"Yes. How did you know?"

"You said we're lucky bastards, not invincible. Someone who got hurt that badly should be dead, but he pulled through, right?" Zoro explained factually at first, then his tone turned hopeful towards the end. He wanted, needed, to hear the professional say it himself.

"Yes. He survived. That's the good news. I will tell you the rest when we go up to tell the rest of the crew that Sanji is still alive."

Zoro released the breath he just realized he'd been holding. It looked like his voices weren't completely right this time. '_Thank god,'_ Zoro thought with a small smile. Zoro bent down, blood dripping on the floor as he patted Chopper's hat. "Good job, Chopper, the best doctor at sea." 

"Shut the fuck up, you damned barbarian! Complimenting me won't make me happy asshole!" the reindeer squealed as he did that cute happy dance he does when he gets praised. Then the doctor froze, and Zoro braced himself for what was coming next.

"Zoro! Come on! Hurry up! I have to take care of _your_ wounds now! Wait, how long have you been here!? I've been working on Sanji for hours now! Damn it, Zoro! Look at you! You're still bleeding! How!?..."Zoro decided it was time for him to ignore the doctor, even though he couldn't fully ignore Chopper. He listened, but he was also in his own little world, a world that was just waiting to end, and he fucking knew it.

***Again, thank you for reading, and please leave a review so I know how I'm doing. I am very curious as to what people think. But if you don't want to review, that's okay too. Favoriting and following helps me think that I am doing something right, and if you don't want to do that too, then again that's okay. I really appreciate the fact that you clicked on my fanfic. =) Please have a good day!***


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

The first thing Sanji saw when he opened his eyes was an object of absolute desolate beauty.

As Sanji began to wake, he found himself in the dimly lit cool infirmary. One of his arms was connected to an IV drop as he lay between the white sheets. He felt bandages and stitches litter his body, from head to toe. His right leg was in a splint. His lungs burned and his throat was sore and dry. He felt tired and sluggish, probably due to some sort of painkiller or drug.

Though, through the haze of drugs, Sanji began to recall why he was in this damned bed and silently cursed that fucking Smoker. He grit his teeth in ire, but then he sensed a presence beside him, distracting him from his anger as shifted his head to the left to find the object of absolute desolate beauty.

There was Zoro, slouching in a simple oak chair whilst he was bathed in the moonlight that was shining in through the open porthole of the infirmary. His strong arms were crossed over his toned chest and his legs were crossed at the ankles. His marimo hair looked soft and fluffy as a mild breeze once again weaved itself lazily through the fuzz. His abs were curved and defined in the pale light. The moon graced his skin, giving it a dim gleam. His earrings glittered and swayed lazily. He wore a black tank top that showed off his perfect bandaged muscles, and baggy dark green pants that hung over his legs. His black worn boots added to Zoro's manly and undeniably striking appearance.

Sanji was mesmerized; he couldn't tear his visible eye away. Zoro looked so powerful and masculine but he was still so…beautiful? If that was a good way to describe what Sanji was witnessing. He couldn't come up with a better word other than 'handsome' and 'good-looking', but they just didn't describe this picture, this moment. The sun, the moon, the light, made Zoro even more beautiful. Zoro was always and will always be handsome, but beautiful seemed like a much better word to Sanji.

However, Sanji soon found out that this was a desolate beauty when he gazed at Zoro's face.

Zoro was looking out the porthole and towards the moon. His eyes glistened in the light but… they looked as if they were empty, hollow. Those moss-green eyes were once again half-lidded, but they looked so… lifeless. The light in them wasn't coming from within; the light was merely a reflection of the moon. The usual mischievous, happy, challenging glint was nowhere to be seen. Zoro's adorable mouth was drawn in a deep, heart-wrenching frown. His eyebrows were slightly drawn.

Zoro looked as though he had lost Wadou. No, worse. He looked as if…as if his whole world was falling apart, piece-by-piece… bit-by-bit… and all he could do was watch in lonesome desolation. He looked as if he had come to the realization that his strength was useless, that his swords were worthless, as if there was a problem that his training wouldn't handle. He looked _powerless._

Sanji's heart _broke_. Just the thought of his moss-ball being this depressed made his heart tighten so much that the pressure caused it to burst.

Without thinking, Sanji lethargically outstretched his hand and wrapped his tired fingers gently around Zoro's elbow. It was the closest part of Zoro that Sanji could reach.

Since the marimo hadn't taken notice to the cook's stirring, the 'sudden' contact surprised him.

The wary swordsman was actually startled. He jumped in his chair and gasped an 'oh shit'. Then he realized that it was the cook that had grabbed him, and he _didn't_slap his hand away.

In fact, he did something Sanji would have never imagined.

As soon as he realized that Sanji had regained consciousness, he gently grabbed the cook's treasure into his own calloused hands, leaned forward, and ducked his head. Sanji heard him breathe, 'Thank God', as Zoro gently squeezed his hand.

Then, it was Sanji's turn to be surprised.

'_Is Zoro really happy that __**I**__ am okay? __**Zoro**__? Happy about __**me**__? And, he's holding my hand… Fuck, what do I do? He was even sitting in that uncomfortable chair, awake, during the night, all for __**me**__?__It __**had **__to be for me. He wouldn't have come in here otherwise. What do I do? What do I do?'_ Sanji thought as he stared wide-eyed at the marimo who had yet to look up.

Sanji wracked his brain for something to say but he couldn't think of anything. He was too damned flustered.

He just gawked at the man that he'd thought would never even remotely care about him as he held his hand and was thankful and relieved that he was okay. Before his hope could carry him away, rational thoughts kicked in, causing Sanji to backtrack and approach this situation logically.

'_Oh, I see. He thought it was his fault, and he felt guilty that I got hurt. He's just happy one of his nakama is okay and that I'm not dead because of him. That's all. I am his nakama, and he cares about me because of it. It doesn't mean he loves me. Dammit. Don't get your hopes up like some fucking idiot, Sanji,' _he told himself.

Then the damned moss-ball looked up and his conclusion just fell apart.

Zoro's face was lit up in joy and relief. His previously empty eyes were filled once again: they were filled with happiness and gratitude. His deep frown had evolved into a stupidly adorable smile. His slightly drawn eyebrows had raised and relaxed on his face. Zoro was genuinely joyful and thankful.

He wasn't like this with _anyone_. It was rare enough for him to be messed up over someone's injuries, but rarer still for him to be so touchy and attentive and _smiley._

Usually, he would just be relieved and give a smirk that practically shouted 'Ha! See, that's one of my nakama. They wouldn't die so easily!' But Zoro looked so happy. He had looked so devastated before Sanji had made himself known to the marimo. Was Zoro like that because of him?

'_Was he _that_ worried about me?' _

Sanji felt his face instantly flare up as he absentmindedly squeezed Zoro's hand. This caused the moss-ball to slightly flush, realizing he was still holding the cook's hand and so close to his face too.

Since Sanji's face was mostly hidden in the shadows, his blush went unnoticed, but unfortunately for Zoro, he was in the light for Sanji to see the small blush that crept onto the swordsman's face. Zoro glanced at their hands for a moment, and then let go with a small "sorry" as he looked away.

Sanji just stared at the marimo before him. Then without thinking all too much he reached out to Zoro again. This time, the closest part of the marimo was his right knee, so that's where Sanji's hand fell over. The reaction he got was quite amusing. Zoro jumped again, and Sanji found it funny even if he knew it was just a reactionary action. He turned to look at Sanji with a mix of confusion and concern, and he looked quite adorable, if you asked Sanji.

Though, when the cook said nothing, Zoro leaned forward in his seat again, distracting Sanji from the thought that he was cute and gaining his attention.

"Cook? Are you okay? Do you need me to get Chopper?"

Silence invaded the room again. Zoro was just about to take the silence as a 'yes' and leave to wake the fuzzy reindeer when Sanji suddenly squeezed his knee, signaling him to not go. Zoro settled back into his seat and stared at the blonde, waiting for him to speak. After a few more hesitant moments of staring, Sanji opened his mouth and croaked,

"I'm fine, just a little sore and woozy." He swallowed, and then continued,

"The question is, are _you_ okay, Zoro?"

Zoro was confused for a moment, feeling panic, guilt, and worry trickle through him. He didn't even notice the special use of his name.

He tried to look as passive, 'normal', and as Zoro-like as possible when he looked right into the blonde's beautiful blue eye through the shadows. He knew what Sanji meant. The cook was on to Zoro and his hopeless war: his threatening ocean. Zoro could tell, besides, Sanji _never_ asked if he was okay or was even remotely worried about him in any way, not even after the events of Thriller Bark or Saboady. So, he must be onto him. There was no other plausible explanation that Zoro could think of. Furthermore, he looked so damned determined to figure out what was up with the swordsman.

He looked determined; He looked concerned; He looked _pained_?

Zoro was just about to frown, but he restrained himself. He couldn't add to Sanji's burdens. The poor shit-cook was still recovering from a pretty traumatic experience, at least, it had been traumatic for _Zoro. _Besides, this cook probably has a demon or two from his own past to fight with. Zoro couldn't add to that. He couldn't become another burden. He just couldn't. Even if this shit-cook didn't really care for him, even if he _hated_ him, Zoro just couldn't do that. The last thing he wanted was to cause Black-leg Sanji unhappiness.

Zoro took a deep breath, tried to smother his never-ending ocean of emotions as best as he could, and maintained eye contact while scowling.

"Of course I'm okay. I got a little banged up, but Chopper checked me. I'm fine. Besides, I'm not the one who's bedridden, curly-cue," Zoro said in a soft tone, a tone he would usually use towards Chopper as his scowl turned to a small, soft smile that he couldn't help but make towards the worried chef.

'_He's lying.'_

Sanji knew it.

No matter how hard this marimo tried to hide it: no matter how well this swordsman bastard performed for everyone: Sanji knew Zoro was lying and was hiding something.

He just _knew_ it; it was a gut feeling.

And, maybe, Zoro was giving subtle hints indicating that something was wrong and maybe. Just maybe… If Sanji was correct… but he can't get ahead of himself yet. He had no evidence of there being anything wrong.

'_But,' _he though in skepticism as he recalled something that had been bothering him as of late, '_that face I saw him making just now, it was the same as the one from before, when he was leaning on the mast. Those can't be coincidences. Right?' _Sanji sighed inwardly.

'_I'll have to ask Chopper about this. Chopper and Robin. Those two will notice something if it had something to do with the crew...'_ He didn't want to sell Zoro out and spread his dirty laundry around, but if something was wrong, he wanted to help. He didn't care if Zoro wanted to keep it to himself. If it was bothering the guy this much, Sanji wanted to know. He wanted to help.

"Zo-" Sanji began, but Zoro was ahead of him.

"Anyways Curly-cue, it's like three in the morning. Go back to sleep." He said with that damned smile was still plastered on his marimo face. Though, it was pretty damn obvious that Zoro had heard Sanji; he'd jumped a little when Sanji started talking, and had been quick to interrupt him. He was avoiding the subject about himself, _purposefully_. Damned marimo.

Sanji opened his mouth to say something, and then shut it slowly. '_Maybe I shouldn't question him now. I might make him become more closed off than he already is. He obviously doesn't want to talk about it. I have to gain his trust first, I guess.'_

Sanji scowled so then the swordsman wouldn't suspect that Sanji had noticed too much, which seemed to work, since that the marimo mirrored the scowl.

"I don't need you to tell me that, Moss-ball. I was just about to do that,"

Sanji grumbled. He nestled his blonde head further into the pillow to indicate that he was going back to sleep. Zoro watched him for a moment and then leaned back in his chair when he thought he fell asleep. Which wasn't the case.

Sanji peeked at the moss-ball through his hair. Zoro took his previous position in that damned uncomfortable chair. He took on that same forsaken magnificence Sanji had woken up to.

How he wished that he would quit looking so damn tragic and gazing at the moon like that. It was getting Sanji down. Zoro looked so sad… so beautiful. It hurt and made his heart flutter. Oh, how Sanji wished Zoro would let him in. He wanted to take that pain away.

Sanji was considering taking Zoro's hand again, yet fatigue had suddenly washed over him. The last thing he saw was Zoro, wide-awake and gazing at the moon. It could've been the drugs and the wooziness of drifting off, but Sanji swore he felt one of one of those calloused hands encasing one of his own. Then the fatigue finally drew him into a deep dreamless sleep.

: -:

'_I should get Chopper… but, I don't want to disturb the cook nor the little doctor now. I'll wait till later in the morning,' _Zoro decided as he watched the cook cutely snuggle into his pillow to better his comfort.

When Zoro was sure Sanji had fallen asleep, he let his emotions show on his face again. He gazed at the moon. He felt so despondent. That wretched ocean burned in his lungs. During the whole exchange between himself and Sanji, he'd experienced excitement, nervousness, happiness, but he also felt guilty, vile, and as if he were the worst and most disgraceful living organism in the world.

He was so glad that Sanji was okay and that the blonde hadn't pushed him away. But. Zoro couldn't let go of his rather… err… extreme thoughts… Hm, were they that extreme? Zoro couldn't tell anymore. He thought, or, maybe it was that weird ominous whispering, that _this _\- Sanji's injuries and not sensing the ambush - was entirely his fault.

Zoro held Sanji's hand once more; as if to convince himself that the chef was all right, that the chef was going to be just fine. He looked back at the moon again while he held one of the cook's precious hands, returning to his thoughts prior his little exchange with the curly-brow.

Before Sanji had woken up, Zoro was replaying the events of three days ago – well, now it was three days ago - through his head, which also left him with a deep inner turmoil.

Zoro glanced back at the sleeping beauty beside him. He began to recall what had happened after Chopper was done with Sanji.

: -:

"Zoro, everyone" Chopper began once Zoro had carried the him through the kitchen door to where everyone, including Usopp, Luffy, and Brook, gathered within. Seemed as though they knew that Sanji was incapacitated, judging from the concern on their faces.

Zoro sat the doctor in a chair and took a chair close by for himself, waiting patiently while Luffy paced back and forth, almost burning a path in the floor where he walked. Usopp leaned against a wall and the rest sullenly sat at the table along with Chopper and Zoro.

Chopper sniffled before he started, going into doctor mode once again.

"Should I start with the good or bad news first?"

"Goo-" Nami began, snapping her head up.

"Bad news," Zoro cut in as he leaned towards Chopper, perfectly ignoring all of the stares and gawks that he felt prodding at his back.

Chopper glanced at Luffy, who had stopped at Zoro's answer, and then he felt all but one stare at him. Zoro continued to look at the little doctor. Luffy gave a curt nod for Chopper to continue, and then began to pace once more. Chopper offered a small nod and turned back to the crew, who, all except for Zoro and Luffy, looked like deer staring into a pair of oncoming headlights.

"Okay, the bad news is that Sanji… has some damaged muscle tissue, four broken ribs, a punctured lung and kidney. He had…fifteen stab wounds and a collection of cuts and bruises that littered his body. He had a lot of blood loss. If Zoro was even a second later than he was… Sanji might not have made it." Chopper was monotone as he watched his precious nakama go into shock.

Their eyes grew bigger, and their mouths slowly gaped. Then their faces contorted into expressions of worry and melancholy. Zoro's reaction was the one that almost made Chopper lose face. Zoro was just staring at Chopper as if he didn't hear the bad news and was still waiting for it. But the sheer amount of _sadness_ in his eyes told Chopper he'd heard loud and clear, and that it had hit way too close to home for the swordsman. Zoro's body hadn't caught up with his mind yet, the devastation raging within but not mirroring itself on the surface.

Silence engulfed the room, shushed sobs the only things being heard within the cook's precious walls.

Then Luffy cut through the tension, breaking the silence, "Chopper. What's the good news?"

All eyes snapped back to the doctor in expectancy and hope.

"The good news is that he's alive and with a lot of rest, some physical therapy, and some medication, he should be just fine. He will walk again, he'll fight again, and he'll certainly cook again. As long as he behaves, rests and takes his medicine, he'll be _just _fine," Chopper ended with a mumble. The tension that had built up before evaporated, and a sigh of relief passed through everyone in the room. Small smiles were shared while Luffy laughed and roared in triumph.

Zoro released the breath he'd withheld for the entirety of that explanation. Sanji was going to be okay. Zoro looked so relieved; it was as if all of the built tension and stress he had accumulated over the years had just evaporated in that one moment. As long as Sanji would live, he could deal with everything else.

Even though he knew the cook was alive, hearing exactly what was wrong with Sanji made Zoro so guilty; it pained him that the cook was reduced to that state. It pained him that _he'd let_ the cook be reduced to that state… Before Zoro could be forced back into his internal conflicts with whispers, oceans and a bleeding… thing in his chest, Chopper spoke up again. Luffy had to be smacked upside the head by Nami so that everyone could hear.

"Moreover, if my estimations are correct, he should wake up in another day or two. Normally it would take longer, but this is Sanji we are talking about!" the fuzzy reindeer shouted in glee.

Every non-marimo-being in the room burst with joy, relief, and laughter. Brook and Franky began to sing and play their respective instruments in enthusiasm, being spurred on by the childish trio, which obviously consisted of the captain, sharpshooter, and reindeer. The women giggled to each other as they watched the trio dance horribly. All the while, Zoro sloughed in his chair, sighed, and offered a small sincere smile as the only indicator that he was outwardly happy and relieved about the cook's condition.

Luckily, no one took notice of the swordsman's strange reactions. Well, no one except Robin and Chopper, but the marimo was unaware of that.

Since he thought everyone was too preoccupied, Zoro took this chance to slip out of the kitchen, but he didn't escape the watchful eyes of his two wary nakama. Chopper saw him leave and took the opportunity when everyone wasn't paying attention and followed the swordsman. On his way out, he caught the eye of Robin and she gave a small nod as if she were saying, 'go to him. I've also noticed that something isn't right'. Chopper nodded back and slipped through the door.

When Chopper left, it didn't take him long to find the swordsman, since he knew his scent and all. Zoro had managed to find his way to the infirmary and was staring at the door. Chopper walked up to the swordsman and opened his mouth, but Zoro beat him to it.

"Ne, Chopper, when can I visit Sanji?"

Chopper's jaw dropped. '_Did Zoro just say Sanji's name!?' _

The little reindeer recovered quickly when he saw Zoro glance back to him.

"Eh, oh, you have to wait a little while longer." Chopper shifted his weight onto one foot and then the other. Then he realized something, "I should check up on him."

With that, Chopper walked past the green-haired man. As the doctor closed the door, he glanced back to see Zoro's face and his heart tightened. Zoro's face was completely blank but his eyes expressed what was wrong. Zoro's eyes looked lifeless. Zoro's moss-green eyes looked as if they had glazed over. Chopper tore his gaze away and shut the door.

When Chopper disappeared behind the door of the infirmary, it was about noon, and ever since noon, Zoro didn't leave that spot in front of that wooden door, not to train, not to eat, not to drink, not to sleep. No, he didn't leave that spot for anything, not even when some of the other crewmates went to check up on Sanji and asked him to move his ass to go get some nourishment.

It was midnight when the little reindeer exited the infirmary, and the first thing he saw was a figure towering over him, a figure, that he realized belonged to Zoro.

Chopper was too tired to be astonished that Zoro was still there, so, he just stepped out of the way. The silent swordsman understood the gesture, nodded at the doctor and walked into the room that he'd longed to enter.

He was met with the smell of medicine and a slight breeze. He found that the porthole was open and that the moon was pouring its light into the infirmary. Something white caught Zoro's eyes as the gentle breeze lazily carried it. It was the white blanket that belonged to the single bed where a sleeping beauty lay.

Zoro stepped closer and pulled up that damned chair that was so freaking uncomfortable. The scraping of its legs and the creak of the door closing didn't snap Zoro out of his thoughts. 

His head was filled with Sanji and the incident that had happened just about a day ago. His feelings of self-loathing and guilt never ceased when he looked out of the porthole and to a lonesome moon that used light that was not its own, not even when he listened to the sea sing its song as the waves rolled, not even when the cook woke up.

: -:

Zoro watched as the sun began to crawl over the sea; it was like a canvas smeared with beautiful oranges, delicate pinks, and striking blues. The cook hadn't woken up again yet, and Zoro kept looking back to his peaceful sleeping face, so cute and innocent. Zoro had to hold himself back from kissing and hugging the shit-cook, and decided now would be a good time to get Chopper.

So he did.

He went to the boy's room, quietly woke up the little doctor, reported that Sanji had woken up once during the night, and left a relieved reindeer behind to go watch the rest of the sunrise and to train. He had to make up for the time he'd missed training since he was…preoccupied with fairly personal affairs.

All the while, he never realized that he went right through breakfast and lunch, pushing himself beyond his limits so that he could achieve another step towards his dream and a darker motive: to gain the ability to not feel any longer.

: -:

"Zoro didn't come for breakfast or lunch. And now that I think about it, he missed lunch and dinner yesterday too," Chopper mumbled over his spaghetti. His fluffy brown ears drooped along with his hunched demeanor.

Everyone- minus Zoro, Sanji, and Luffy- stopped eating and looked over at the little reindeer.

"Maybe he's just too absorbed with his training," Nami suggested passively as she returned to her meal. Franky and Usopp accepted that reasoning with a nod and continued their conversation about some project they were working on, and with the lightened mood, everyone except Robin and Chopper went back to whatever the hell they do during a meal. Zoro would eat when he was hungry, right? That was enough for everyone else to stay unconcerned.

"Chopper?"

The little reindeer meekly looked up from his pasta to the gentle voice that called him.

"Yes, Robin?"

"Have you noticed something strange about our swordsman?"

Choppers ears twitched and he fully turned to Robin, but his eyes trailed down to the floor between them.

"Yeah. He doesn't seem like himself."

"Ne, Chopper, let's go check up on Sanji." Before Chopper could register the sudden change of topic, Robin stood, put her and Chopper's dishes in the sink and left Chopper scrambling to catch up to her.

Robin heard the claps of hooves on wood and she gave a small sad smile.

'_So I am not the only one who has noticed something wrong with Zoro.'_

: -:

"Zoro! Zoro!" Chopper shouted up to the crow's nest. A thud resonated through the mast, and moments later a green head popped out the window.

"What's up, Chopper?"

"Come down here!"

Zoro grunted, shrugged and jumped out the window and landed next to a startled fluff ball.

"What's up, Chopper?" Zoro repeated softly.

Chopper recovered and told Zoro to follow him. Zoro shrugged and followed the cute reindeer. Silence hung over them as claps and footsteps filled the empty space. Chopper stopped in front of a door and opened it with little hesitation. He walked in, leaving the swordsman's side.

When Zoro saw what was behind the door, he instantly had a bad feeling; he felt like he had been caught doing something he shouldn't have been doing. He found Robin in that g-d damn chair sitting next to a conscious Sanji, who was still lying down, and Chopper, who had taken a seat at his desk. When the door opened they had snapped their attention to the marimo.

Zoro looked at each one of them, keeping his countenance blank. His eyes lingered on Sanji.

'_Whew, he seems to be doing well. He must be if he's been glaring at me since I took my first step in the room. He's probably just butt-hurt that I'm in the presence of a 'goddess' and am 'not worthy to be in the presence of a goddess' as he had once said.' _ Zoro sighed inwardly.

'_But, wait, Chopper called me in here with both of them here too. Something's up, and I know I'm not gonna' like it.'_

"Zoro" Robin began, snapping the marimo back into reality. "Sit down," she said sweetly, but it was clear that it was a demand. She motioned towards the end of the bed, since all the available chairs were occupied.

Zoro paused, stared at her, and contemplated why the hell he should sit down. What the fuck is going on? He felt like how a child did when confronted by their parents 'gently'.

"Hey, you damn mari-" Sanji began to puff up his chest.

"Sanji," Robin cut him off. He deflated and pouted. "Zoro, please, take a seat."

Zoro glanced at all of them in suspicion again, but figured he would find out the answers to his questions if he stuck around. Besides Robin would prevent him from escaping anyways so he obliged.

After he'd walked into the room, Chopper gently closed it and settled his furry self onto his designated chair, looking up at Zoro with his big yet serious eyes.

"What the hell is going on?" he asked calmly as he glanced between the three nakama.

"Zoro," Robin began.

"We need to have a little talk, Shit-head," Sanji cut off his precious Robin as he scowled and snarled at the slightly confused moss-ball.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

_Shit_. That only word that filled his marimo head as he looked back and forth between his two nakama. He managed to keep his countenance relaxed, even though he was panicking on the inside.

"'A little talk?'" Zoro inquired, feigning concern as he made his gaze linger on Sanji, suggesting that the talk had something to do with Sanji's condition. He even made his face scrunch up a little so then he could sell the 'fact' that he was confused about what was happening. He wasn't absolutely sure what was going on but he hoped it wasn't what he thought it was.

But he earned a scowl from Sanji and a frown from Robin as a result of his reaction to the situation. 

"You know damn well what we're talking about, Zoro," Sanji growled. Zoro blinked at the use of his name. Aw, fuck, this was _bad_.

'_Shit. Shit. Shit. How did they find out?'_ He shook his head. Zoro was really hoping it wasn't what he thought it was and that he was just overreacting. Besides, how could these guys know what was wrong with him? Although Zoro didn't hope too much, since the situation he was in right now was suspicious in itself.

"Zoro, what is it that has been plaguing you as of late? What's wrong?" Robin asked. 

Zoro felt something in him die right then and there. He knew she was trying to help, but he didn't hear it like he would from his friend, Robin. No, he heard _therapist_ Robin, therapist Robin who knew all the ins and outs of your brain, therapist Robin who snooped in your privacy without asking and without you even _knowing_. That wasn't someone he wanted to come to for help.

Zoro felt his eyes half close and dull. Sanji's eyes widened for a moment, then returned to his black expression, leaving Robin to her mild shock and concern that she let pass by her face, much to Zoro's displeasure.

"Nothing's wrong. Robin, Chopper, Sanji, what's this all about?" His tone was even, sure to make them feel absolutely childish. Sanji tensed a little when he heard his name come from the marimo.

"We," Robin glanced at Sanji and Chopper, "have noticed some irregularities concerning you, Zoro."

Zoro just stared back, feeling trapped, but still he kept his rock-solid expression. He looked as if he were saying: 'So? Those were _deliberate _irregularities.'

Robin sighed when she didn't draw any explanation form him and then opened her mouth to begin, "Well, let me start with how we came to form our little group." 

She paused and looked at Zoro, as if she were asking if that was a satisfying start. Zoro gave a curt nod to prompt her to continue.

"I noticed that Chopper was concerned for you and that he has been asking about you lately, so I thought he was suspicious of something. As for me, I had noticed your weird behavior when you carried cook-san to the ship. Now, Sanji, I didn't know he suspected anything. When we entered the infirmary, we expected Sanji to be sleeping, but he wasn't. He overheard our conversation. Then we all shared our concerns and ideas about you. Afterwards we decided to confront you and that's where we are now." Robin calmly explained.

"So you all just decided to take upon yourselves to talk about me behind my back?" Zoro said coldly, raising a threatening eyebrow. His voice was calm, but it was plain that what he'd said had been a lash-out.

"We thought it was necessary considering your behavior," Robin said right back.

Zoro just sat there in silence.

'_Shit.'_

Then, the unexpected happened.

Suddenly, Zoro's head felt as though it was going to split open. It felt as though an elephant was stomping on his moss head while someone hit it with a club adorned with nails whenever the elephant lifted its foot, and dear Lord, did this make his head _hurt_.

Zoro doubled over in pain. He leaned forward and grabbed his head with his hands, he starting to shake. His breath became short and ragged. Some of his stitches popped, and blood immediately gushed from his wounds. His bandages reddened, but he didn't care. His head just hurt so much, and it was making every muscle in his body strain in protest.

"Zoro?" Sanji breathed in confusion, trying to sit up, but Robin made him lie back down. One minute this marimo looked as though he was as blank as a slate, the next, his face was consumed in pain and he was hunched over. Sanji looked over at Robin, but she looked just as confused and worried as Sanji felt - well, Sanji was probably more worried, but that didn't matter right now.

"Zoro!" Chopper scrambled over to the swordsman, who had started to convulse.

"Zoro, what's wrong? Is it your head?" Chopper asked calmly and quietly once he reached him, noticing the obvious flinch. Zoro cringed away from their panicked shouts, hands clamped over his temples.

Zoro managed to give a nod before flinching again and mildly regretting the movement, when the pulsing pain mounted again. 

"Here, let me give you your medicine. You forgot to take it, didn't you?" Chopper almost whispered as he shuffled through his medicines.

"His medicine?" Sanji dumbly repeated. He was… was so… astonished. '_What's going on? What's wrong with Zoro?' _

Chopper found what he was looking for. He held up a small black bottle. He popped it open, tipped it, and was rewarded with a dark blue pill. Disregarding Sanji's questioning statement, the little reindeer grabbed a glass of water, went to the suffering swordsman, and held out the remedy and glass.

Zoro glanced up at the fuzzy doctor. Bracing himself, he struggled to straighten up. Pain gripped him again and squeezed his head. Once he accomplished that, trembling hands accepted the medicine. Zoro took the pill, gave the empty glass back to the doctor with a hushed 'thank you', and then leaned forward again. Elbows on knees and head in his hands, Zoro waited for the medicine to take affect while Robin and Sanji sat in astonishment. All the while, Chopper recorded what had just happened at his desk.

Thankfully, Chopper's miraculous medicine took effect immediately and Zoro's excruciating headache subsided. He sat back up and turned his head to a scene he expected. Robin and Sanji were dumbfounded. Sanji managed to prop himself up on his elbows, while Robin covered her mouth with a hand; both of them were wide-eyed and gaping as they stared.

"Zoro," He turned to Chopper again. "You're bleeding again. Here, let me change your bandages again." Zoro just nodded and let the reindeer do his job.

They all sat in tense silence. Zoro stared at the ground in front of him, ignoring the stares that he felt while he let Chopper re-stitch his wounds. Chopper whispered a 'be careful next time' to the swordsman. He began to re-wrap bandages around Zoro when the silence was broken by a certain chef.

"What…what the fuck was that?" Sanji mumbled. Chopper saw Zoro tense a little but immediately relaxed. It was so fast that the reindeer thought he'd imagined it. He looked up to his nakama and frowned. Zoro was as blank as a sheet of white paper; he held no expression.

Zoro didn't say anything. He continued to watch the floor.

"Zoro, what was that? What's wrong with you?" the cook pressed. He almost sounded desperate.

Zoro continued to ignore him. No one said anything after that. Once Chopper was finished with the swordsman, Zoro thanked the doctor, and glanced at every occupant in the room.

"I'm fine," He stated, sounding as though he was convincing himself more than them. Then Zoro stood and walked out of the infirmary as if nothing had happened. The door slammed behind the man, trapping the tension, anxiety, and silence within the room. Chopper traveled back to his desk. He began to write something in a file.

"Chopper." Chopper looked up from his desk to address his patient. 

"Hm, yes, Sanji?" 

"What was that?" 

"I don't know." 

That made Sanji pause. He looked at his doctor in shock. 

"You don't know!" 

"No, I don't. All I know is that Zoro gets random and extreme headaches. I have not found out why or when. It's almost as if something unfathomable is the cause of them. I've done many tests without his knowing occasionally; saying that it was just part of a physical, and his results were perfect. He's totally healthy. Nothing's wrong with him concerning his physical health. I don't know nor do I understand what's happening with him. He just came to me one day and said he had a really bad headache, but they have gotten progressively worse since then. The one he just had been one of the worst he has had yet. He still refuses to tell me when he'd first started experiencing them and if there was some cause like sensitivity to light or sound, no matter how many times I asked. This has worries me deeply for a while." Chopper said that professional manner he carries at these times. 

"He has random headaches?" Robin questioned, abandoning her worry for a moment to quench her curiosity. 

"Yes. He doesn't get them normally, but to prevent them from occurring during times that he can't let his guard down like during a battle, I prescribed him a headache medication that he should take regularly, which is about once a day. And before you ask, it shouldn't have any symptoms other than drowsiness, which isn't a problem for someone who sleeps as much as him." Sanji and Robin stared at Chopper as he finished his explanation and returned back to scribbling something down in a file. 

"He naturally sleeps that much?" Robin asked.

"Yep. He did even before I ever gave him the pills for the first time."

"Wow."

"I know, right."

Sanji tuned out the two's casual chatter. '_Zoro gets those kinds of headaches? When did this start? How the hell did he hide them so well? I came before Chopper, so someone before Chopper should have noticed. How did we not notice? Is he that much of a great actor? Or are we just that inattentive? Is he going to be okay? Zoro…'  
_

Sanji's heart ached. Seeing the one he loved in so much pain, watching him bleed, watching him become so emotionless… Sanji felt as though a knife was twisting in his heart. 

He was mad, mad at that damned moss-ball for having such an effect on him… for that marimo not taking care of himself… for the moss-ball making him worry and not talking to him. Sanji paused. 

'_Why would he talk to me?'  
_

"Sanji?" 

"Huh?" 

Robin's angelic voice drew him away from his thoughts. 

"Are you okay? Are your wounds hurting you? You looked pained." Her voice was laced with worry. 

"Oh, no, my dear flower, I am perfectly fine. I was just… lost in my thoughts," he explained with a small smile on his face. Robin smiled back in understanding and returned her attention to the doctor. 

'_Fuck. With that look, she probably figured out that I fancy Zoro… Why am I not embarrassed? And, now that I think about it… Why am I so accepting of this? Being in love with Zoro?'  
_

"Okay. Now, let us decide what to do now…" 

Sanji tuned into reality again. 

Robin and Chopper began to chat away, deciding their next move while Sanji partially listened. The other half of his brain was busy thinking about and worrying over a particular marimo.

: -:

'_Shit. Fuck. Damnit. Shit,'_ Zoro chanted in his head as he walked onto the deck and up to the crow's nest. After stopping to the kitchen to grab himself some alcohol to drown in, first, of course. 

'_How did they catch on? I was acting normal! Fuck. I need to act more natural. I may have been slipping up in my acting. Shit.'_

"Zoro-bro!" 

Zoro was just about to climb up to the crow's nest, arms full of smuggled sake, when he heard Franky. 

"Hey, Franky, what's up?" 

Franky stopped in front of the swordsman and looked at his arms suspiciously. 

"Um. What's up with all the booze?" 

"Felt like drinking in the crow's nest and I didn't want to come back down every five minutes," Zoro explained in a very Zoro-like manner. He was trying really hard not to just be a jerk and walk away. 

Franky nodded in understanding. "Anyway, mind if I join you?" he asked.

Zoro quirked an eyebrow before he spoke, "Uh, sure." 

"Suuuuuper! Let me just grab some stuff and I will be right there!" he exclaimed as he walked to gather what he needed. 

'_Fuckin… shit. I wanted to be ALONE! Dammit! Okay. Okay, calm down, Zoro. Calm down. The faster you endure this, the faster this will end, and then you can be alone,'_ he comforted himself as he made his way to his destination. 

After waiting for a few minutes on the couch with his booze, Zoro hear the door to the crow's nest open. 

"Yo, Zoro-bro!" Franky entered with a cooler and a plate of spaghetti. He carted his cooler next to him as he took a seat with Zoro while holding the plate in one of his small robotic hands. 

"Hey, Franky," Zoro said questioningly, staring at the food. Where had he gotten that? Was it mealtime? Had he gotten that distracted? 

"Oh, thanks," Zoro mumbled in appreciation. '_Fuck. I forgot that I haven't eaten for about a day now. Man, Sanji'll pitch a fit if he finds out.'  
_

"You forgot to eat, didn't you?" Franky asked seriously as he leaned back into the couch, popping open the cooler to grab one of his many colas and uncapping it with ease to refresh himself. Zoro looked from his nakama to his plate of food. He didn't say anything. He couldn't think of anything to say that would get him out of this new predicament.

"Look, Zoro-bro," Franky began as he looked out the window. Zoro turned his eyes to the cyborg as he began to eat. 

"I don't know what's up with you. You never forget to eat. And we heard from Chopper that you haven't been really sleeping. I mean, now that I saw you up close, you look exhausted. It's strange, really. Any farther than five feet and you look completely fine." Franky took a swig from his cola. He continued to look out the window. "Ne, Zoro-bro." 

"Yes, Franky?" Zoro responded after chewing on his last bite of his spaghetti. Franky offered to take the plate and Zoro let him. After the two situated themselves, leaned into the couch and looked out the window, Franky continued: 

"You know, if something isn't right, you can come to your nakama. Right?" 

Zoro stiffened slightly at the heavy question that was rested upon his shoulders. 

"Of course I know that. Why would you bring it up?" Zoro heard his voice, and it sounded so much like himself, the 'himself' that his crew knew him to be. He was starting to wonder if he'd ever really been that person. 

"Hm. No reason, really. I just wanted to make sure you knew. My gut just told me that I had to tell you that," Franky said as he smiled at his younger nakama. Zoro looked back and gave a small smile. He was touched that even when his nakama wasn't aware of his problems, they still sensed something wasn't okay. 

"Besides, I figured something might have been wrong since you hadn't eaten, but we all know you would skip meals to train anyway. Oh, and with the lack of sleep and all!" The cyborg chuckled as he drank his cola and returned his gaze to the window. 

"Naw. I'm fine, Franky," Zoro lied smoothly as he tried to ignore the pang of guilt for the action. "Besides, who wants to eat Nami's cooking? I'd rather skip meals and eat once a day than eat a sea witch's cooking." Zoro snorted as he also returned his gaze to the window. 

Franky busted out in deafening laughter. "Don't let her hear that! Haha! Seems like you _are_ okay! SUPER!" 

Zoro chuckled at his nakama's antics as he watched the older man make his ridiculous poses. After the two calmed down, Franky stated that he had to get back to the project he and Usopp had been working on, gathered his things, and left the swordsman to his lonesome. 

Once the door shut, Zoro dropped his smile. He grabbed a sake bottle and drained it in one go. He grabbed another and sank into the couch. He rubbed his face with a calloused hand. 

'_Fuck.'  
_

Zoro felt like he was just the worst person in the world. How fake could he be? And to his own friends! He felt as though shame and grief was the essence of his being, as though the knife of guilt couldn't get enough of torturing him. All the while, sorrow branded his beaten heart. He felt as though he was bathed in filth, as though there was no light of hope, not a sparkle, not even a glimmer. His existence felt miniscule. The wear and tear of the past several days had taken their toll, but he barely noticed; he had been feeling very sluggish and sapped of his energy as of late. 

A heavy, alcohol-drenched sigh escaped parched lips. 

Zoro drained another sake bottle. 

'_What is wrong with me? Why is it like this? Why do I keep pitying myself? Why do I feel beyond shitty? All that stuff happened so long ago… I don't understand. I thought I got past this. I thought I was above this. I thought I was strong enough… It looks like I can't just train this away. There's no work-out for the heart,'_ Zoro let out a pessimistic chuckle as he brought a new sake bottle to his lips. The same thoughts swam within his head.

How many times have he thought this? How many times has he thought 'why?' 

'_I wonder why I keep drinking if I know it's nearly impossible for me to get drunk. Besides, I only have two bottles left after this. Not nearly enough.'_ Zoro let another whole bottle scorch his throat. He ignored the pain the alcohol brought him. He was almost too used to it anyway. 

'_I wonder what the cook will do when he sees all of the sake missing.'_ Zoro paused as he bent down for his fourth bottle. 

'_Sanji_.' Zoro's heart fluttered and hurt as he thought about the shit-cook. 

'_I wonder how he is.'_ Zoro began to think about what happened just several hours ago and paused. 

'_Wait. Sanji was part of their little group, cause he noticed something about me… He… noticed something about me? He's… worried? About me?'_ Zoro's previous unwelcomed emotions began to trickle away as he thought of this. 

'_Sanji looked pretty worried and concerned before. I wonder why?'_ Zoro began to dwell on this, which he probably shouldn't have done. 

'… _It was probably because… I am his nakama… No matter how much we bicker and fight… we will always be nakama. That's also probably why he'd noticed differences. Especially when I have been drinking more, eating less, and staring at the sea. He was there when I was looking at the sea; I was leaning on the mast while we were deciding what to do on this fucking island. I was so consumed in thought that I hadn't noticed him, and I knew… I knew my emotions were on my face…yeah. It's just 'cause he saw that and started wondering, not 'cause I'm special to him. He will never like a thing like me. Heh. Wow, that was so idiotic of me to think that there could have been more to the story. That gorgeous head of blond hair, those blue eyes, those pale lips, a lithe and sexy body, that fierce, defiant, clever, quick-witted personality… all of that will never be mine… Sanji will never be mine.' _Zoro chuckled darkly as he poured more sake down his throat. 

He killed his hope before it could grow. It was just easier that way, to accept reality and move on. That's what Zoro has always done and will always do. That's how he survived. Though, he wasn't very good at it, because if he could crush all the hope, every single drop, then it wouldn't hurt so much, he wouldn't be constantly disappointed, constantly depressed. He'd actually be moving on instead of constantly brooding over this. What a sad fool he'd turned out to be. 

Zoro savored his last bottle of sake. Might as well, right? Just to fill a hollowed-out shell. Zoro gazed out the window and watched the sun set and sink into a beautiful ocean. He silently wished that his demons would just drown in the sake he consumed; he wished the emotions would just drown instead of him. Yet, he knew that they could swim, and that he was chained to a weight that was too heavy for him to swim with. No, those things couldn't drown, because they _were_ the ocean, they were the waves that threatened to swallow him up. 

He longed for some sort of understanding as to what is happening with him. 

He doesn't deserve to feel sad. He doesn't deserve to feel like he does. Someone must be going through worse. It's not like he is such a great person as to deserve happiness, it's just that his reality isn't as bad as someone else's, so he doesn't have the right to feel the way he does. Right? 

And along with this line of thought, Zoro didn't realize that the whispers are having their way with him, and that he just deepened the unwanted feelings he harbored. He just stared at a beautiful sunset, an empty sake bottle at hand, and an ocean within that is threatening to take him under, a war that was threatening to drown him in blood, his own blood, since he was most definitely about to lose.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

***Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece or any of its wonderful characters.  
A special thank you goes out to HadenxCharm, my wonderful beta-reader. Anyways, thank you so much for reading. Please enjoy!***

"ro…zoro…Zoro!" His eyes snapped open. The first thing he saw was his insane captain, who was leaning over him.

"What is it, Luffy?" Zoro grumbled as he ran his hand over his face. He was so tired. Several days had passed since that confrontation with Sanji and his little group, and Zoro was exhausted. He had been helping out around the ship more since the cook was out of commission, like moving shit, doing miscellaneous tasks, and because of that lovely bastard Zoro was also stuck with taking care of the kitchen and meals. All because when he was on his own, he learned how to cook basic meals and read recipes from an old lady he met on in his past, and he could use a knife pretty damn well. Zoro had also taken the role of caregiver for Sanji. When he wasn't doing other shit, he took care of the incapacitated cook, doing whatever Chopper asked him to, giving him meals, helping him move around, so on and so forth. Overall, Zoro was _tired_ and wanted a _certain_ captain to leave him the _fuck_ alone.

"Wake up! I had to go get you and drag you off to breakfast before we go!" Luffy exclaimed, wrapping his rubbery arms around the sleepy swordsman. As soon as Zoro computed that Luffy had wrapped his arms around him, he instantly became alert.

"Luffy, I swear to God! Don't you dare-" But it was too late.

Laughing like a maniac, the crazy straw-hat wearer ran to the window and jumped out of it. With Zoro in tow.

They soared for like a second, until Zoro was met with the deck that was below just a moment before. Pain shot through and coursed through every part of his body. He was lucky his wounds didn't open up again! Zoro was _not_ in the mood to face Chopper and his nagging right now, even though it was a guarantee that he'd finally get a good rest in.

"Dammit, Luffy." Zoro mumbled as he got up and brushed himself off. He was tempted to grab Sandai Kitetsu and… Wait… Why did he feel like using Kitetsu?

Zoro felt the cursed blade vibrate… How long has this sword been trembling like that? Before Zoro could think more about his trouble child, Luffy decided that the swordsman was taking too long and launched him into the kitchen.

"Gaaah, Fuck. Dammit Luffy!" he shouted as he stood up from where he was thrown. Then he quickly glanced around the room and calmed. Everyone was gathered in the kitchen, even the shitty cook. Granted, he was in a wheel chair and the fuzzy doctor was carefully watching him, but he was still there. Zoro immediately calmed down at the sight of him.

"You finally not bed-ridden, cook?" he asked with a small smile. He was so relieved to see the cook out of that bed that he couldn't even pull off a smirk. He suppressed his small fears of what had happened before in the infirmary with Chopper and Robin. '_What if he thinks I am pathetic? What if he gives me shit for what happened? What if he thinks __I'm… weak…? Even if he doesn't think I'm weak, he can't still think I'm as strong as he used to.'_

Zoro had been harboring these fears for the past several days, even though Sanji had actually been decent to him, though Zoro knew it was only because he was helping him out. Zoro knew Sanji wasn't a complete asshole… but he couldn't help but be pessimistic. '_He's just acting like that. He's just acting nice. He's just pretending to be nice to you since you're helping him so much.'_

"Pffffft. I'm lucky that I'm even allowed to use the wheel chair, Marimo," he snorted as he rolled his eyes. Zoro immediately felt a change when interacting with the cook. Zoro had teased him and Sanji hadn't lashed out at him for it. He'd been almost…. _Friendly._ He felt as though this was a warm, comforting, welcoming kind of interaction. Well, as much as it can be when it was Zoro and Sanji interacting with each other. But, Zoro wasn't complaining. His felt his small fears immediately died away. Though he wasn't really sure why.

"I didn't even know we had a wheel chair," Zoro commented, pointing at the mobile chair.

"Ha. Of course you didn't Moss-for-brains. Chopper just got it from this island." Sanji rolled his eyes again. "Geez, Moss-head. By the way, why were you even sleeping in the crow's nest?" he asked, changing the subject before Zoro could argue about the 'moss-for-brains' bit.

"Meh, I just felt like it, Shit-cook-" Zoro began passively, but he trailed off once he noticed something off. The room was silent. The lively and happy chatter ceased. Zoro and Sanji looked over to the rest of their nakama to be met with expressions that ranged from surprise, suspicion, to outright shock.

"What?" They asked in union. Then they glared at each other, but with no real malice, which caught both of them off guard but they kept that to themselves.

"You- you guys were actually taking! W-w-without fighting!" Usopp stuttered as he stared at the two, bug-eyed.

"Oh my," Robin said with a chuckle as she glanced at Sanji, who sat in his chair pouting.

"Are you guys okay? Do I need to check your temperature?" Chopper asked seriously as he pressed a hoof to Sanji's forehead.

"What? No. Chopper, stop that!" He swatted at the hoof in his face. Once he got the doctor to stop, he huffed.

"Anyways," Nami continued where she left off after she was interrupted by the unusual interaction. "Like I was saying," she plopped a tangerine slice into her mouth before continuing, "while I was shopping, I stumbled upon a library and stole this."

The navigator pulled out a rolled up old paper and uncurled it onto the table. It was a map of the island, with a rather large 'X' in the middle of it. Zoro also noticed a waterfall picture that was close by the 'X' but he paid no mind to it.

"It's a treasure map, for the idiots who can't figure that out." Zoro could have sworn everyone - even Brooke, if he were to have eyes - glanced at Luffy as he inhaled the remaining bacon from every plate in sight.

"Luffy, Usopp, Brooke, and I will be going," the redhead declared. Luffy howled in triumph as he heard him name called to go on an 'adventure'.

"The rest can stay and do whatever you want to do. Except you, Sanji." Everyone looked at the poor crippled cook.

"You have to stay on the ship. You too, Zoro." She glared at the swordsman.

"What? Why me too?" he grumbled, fully knowing the reason why, but still wanting to complain about it.

"Cause your still injured. Chopper and Franky are staying to make sure you guys don't go anywhere."

"Wait, then why is Robin staying?" Zoro questioned. He was genuinely curious. Normally Robin would go on these adventures for her archeology crap.

"Because I want to study the nearby ruins I found the other day, and go to the library," Robin answered for herself.

Zoro groaned inwardly. Everyone on the little 'Zoro-centric group', as he had named them, was staying with him. '_Fan-fucking-tastic,'_ he thought sarcastically. He loved his nakama, but he didn't love the nosiness that came with them.

"Okay, now that that's settled" Nami looked down to the plates she had prepared, just to find that they were all empty.

"Dammit, Luffy!" she screeched as she strangled the captain.

Everyone watched the spectacle passively.

"Hey Franky, Brooke, I saw this lovely restaurant over here," Robin began, pointing to the map to show where she was mentioning. "Can you go order some food to-go?"

"Okay," they said in union as they exited the kitchen, leaving their nakama to handle their crazy selves.

: -:

After a rather interesting breakfast full of preventing Zoro and Nami from killing the captain, listening to the cook's complaints about not being able to provide better food for is 'lovely flowers', Chopper catering to Sanji whenever it was difficult for him, and Usopp, Franky, and Brooke singing, and Robin smiling at her nakama's actions; everyone went their separate ways.

The treasure-hunting group went off on their merry way while those who were left behind did their own thing. Surprisingly enough, Robin went off to the library and was accompanied with Chopper, who went to gather herbs and more medical books. Neither of them batted an eyelash at Zoro. Franky went off to work on some solo projects, since the sharpshooter wasn't there, so it was just Zoro and Sanji who were left on the deck. Zoro glanced down at the cook in his wheel chair and let out a soft sigh.

"Hey, cook."

"What."

"Do you want to go back to the infirmary?"

Sanji's eyes widened and he turned to the swordsman. Zoro looked down at him.

"What?" Sanji was sort of shocked. He hadn't expected Zoro to offer his help to him… for _anything_ really. Sanji had just assumed that everyone was making the lug do shit, like taking care of him and the cooking… which pissed Sanji off to no end. Because of that assumption, he'd tried to be a bit distant so that he wouldn't hope and think that Zoro was doing it for him…

"I said do you want to go back to the infirmary? You know, to rest." Zoro gave a half shrug as he looked away. It's not like he had ever wanted to be an asshole to the chef anyway, it just sort of… happened; Zoro had always wanted to be kinder to the chef. Besides, it was the cook who had started it, this rivalry-hate thing that was going on between them. Moreover, Zoro was never going to let someone walk all over him and get away with it.

Sanji looked at the moss-ball for a moment longer before answering.

"Um, sure. Chopper said I had to go back to the infirmary after breakfast anyway."

Zoro returned his gaze to Sanji and raised an eyebrow at him.

"When did you ever listen to Chopper?" Zoro smirked as he grabbed the handles of the wheelchair and started carting Sanji to the infirmary.

"What! I don't want to hear that from you, marimo!" he raved as he shot a glare over his shoulder the moss-head. Again, Zoro felt no malice in that glare and he couldn't help but to give the cook a small smile. He could have sworn he saw the cook blush a little before he turned around… No, it must have been his own imagination. Zoro had been imagining that kind of shit a lot lately…

After a couple of wrong turns, going through several wrong doors, and getting yelled at by an irritated incapacitated cook; Zoro finally found the infirmary.

"Geez, marimo. How do you get fuckin' lost on your own ship!" he asked in slight frustration, but mostly in amusement, which struck Sanji as odd. Even though he loved the idiot, his sense of direction always peeved him, but now he seemed to be growing to love that part of him too, especially if Zoro pouted every time he got lost.

"Shut up" Zoro sulked as he kicked the door closed and parked Sanji next to the bed.

"Need some help?" he asked Sanji.

"What? No, I can do this myself, you-" Zoro didn't even let him finish his sentence by simply scooping the cook up into his arms bridal style. The sudden movement caused Sanji to release a surprised gasp strung with curses as he grasped onto Zoro's shoulders. He winced since he pulled some of his stiches.

Zoro gently place the cook onto the bed, pushed the wheelchair into a corner for Chopper to take care of later, pulled up that same damn chair, and sat next to Sanji's bed.

"Damn it, Marimo, I oughtta-" Sanji started until he noticed Zoro had pulled up a chair and sat down instead of leaving. "You plan on hanging around?" Sanji asked in suspicion.

"What does it look like to you, Cook?" Zoro raised an eyebrow. "Besides, there's nothing much else to do, since I usually nap at this time and I'm not sleepy."

Sanji shot a glare at him again. For some strange reason, this action made Zoro smile, again. Sanji looked like he was taken aback.

"Why are you smiling? What's so funny?" Sanji looked away to hide his spontaneous blush. Zoro's smile was definitely brighter than any light that Sanji had ever seen.

"Well, for some reason, your glares seem to be missing their usual malice lately, so that's an improvement," Zoro absentmindedly answered before he thought about what he was saying. His eyes widened along with Sanji's. '_Aw shit. I wasn't supposed to say that aloud_.'

Zoro opened his mouth to come up with a way to cover his ass, until he heard a chuckle. Zoro looked at Sanji and saw that the cook was laughing. Well, it was sort of like a strained chuckle of sorts, but the cook was still trying to do the action.

"Wh-what's so funny?"

"You" Sanji chuckled even more.

"What do you mean by that, Curly?!"

"I mean, you're such a dumbass. I never _tried_ to glare at you with malice." Sanji ceased in his laughter as he realized that he had continued from the first sentence to the second.

The latter sentence was supposed to be in his head, or, that's what the cook's surprised and panicked expression told Zoro anyway.

Now it was Zoro's turn to laugh. '_Can't believe I am gonna' say this, but it looks like I got the cook wrong. What kind of fucking lucky star pulled this shit off?'_

"_Now_ why are you laughing?! Idiot-marimo!" Sanji fumed a little. His face was flushed, but Zoro couldn't decide whether it was because Sanji was embarrassed or he was mad.

Zoro chuckled some more before he continued.

"I never tried to glare at you with hatred either, Idiot-cook. Seems like we had a little misunderstanding." Zoro smiled widely at the cook who looked back at the marimo.

Zoro knew that the cook knew what he was talking about, the understanding crashing amongst the waves of blue in those oceanic eyes. He knew Zoro was talking about the way they used to glare at each other. They didn't hate each other; they had misinterpreted each other, which was no surprise. Seriously, with the lack of actual communication there was bound to be some misinterpretations.

Sanji continued to just stare back at Zoro. He seemed to be mesmerized, entranced with his face. Zoro felt a blush creep up on his cheeks and glanced up at and away from the blonde who seemed unfazed by the constant break of eye contact. Then, Zoro glanced at a familiar black bottle.

"Oh. Shit. I almost forgot." He sighed as he stood and trudged to Chopper's desk. He grabbed his medication and a glass of water before going back to sit with Sanji.

Zoro stared at the bottle. He hated relying on this stuff… but he hated the headaches even more. Zoro felt the cook's gaze and reluctantly looked up.

Sanji had an appearance of sad understanding directed at the bottle. Zoro looked away. He couldn't take those looks. He never wanted someone to be sad for him… Zoro popped open the bottle and a pill rolled into his hand. He quietly stared at it. He had always managed to take it without anyone noticing; he even had some stashed away in the crow's nest, but he it was about time he took it today and, well… he had to take it now or else he would forget and have to suffer the consequences.

"Um, Zoro?"

"Hm?" Zoro couldn't bring himself to look at the beauty in front of him. He felt ashamed in his presence. Relying on drugs to keep pain away constantly… that sounded so pathetic when Zoro thought about it, even though he knew it was outrageous to think that. He just couldn't help but think so. '_I mean, I fuckin' went through __**literal hell**__ in Thriller Bark… and now I have to take drugs to keep a fuckin' awful headache away so it wouldn't occur un-expectantly,' _Zoro thought as he began to go into a downwards spiral of self-loathing. He clenched onto the damned pill.

"When did you start getting these headaches?" Zoro's eyes snapped up to meet Sanji's, interrupting the swordsman's descent. The cook held a look of absolute seriousness and determination. Sanji's wonderful eyes were swimming with concern. Zoro instantly knew he couldn't get out of this one.

Zoro tried to keep face, to not let the cook see that what Zoro really wanted to do was to look down and to the side with sullen dejection, but for whatever damned reason it was, maybe on a whim, or maybe because this shitty cook made him feel a new sense of security, he did just that.

Zoro could see from the corner of his eye that Sanji had blinked in surprise, but quickly returned to his previous appearance. After a moment of contemplation, Zoro let a sigh escape from him.

"I've had them for a while now."

"I know that. I was wondering about when exactly."

"Chopper told you?" he asked in mild surprise as he glanced at the cook.

'_The little guy must have been really worried about me if he did that. Wow, I guess I fucked up in my performance of acting as myself. I mean, I only expected him to say that I was just experiencing headaches with his whole policy about patient confidentiality.'_

"Yeah."

"Robin knows too?"

"Yep."

"Great."

"Wow. You figured that out all for yourself. And here I thought you were just a dumbass, Moss-ball."

Zoro chuckled at this. He knew he could count on the cook to keep insulting him, no matter what happened. He redirected his gaze to the chef who wore that trademark smirk. Though, Zoro got the hint that this chef was just trying to lighten up the mood. If those eyes didn't sparkle with mischief and playfulness, along with kindness and warmth, Zoro wouldn't know what else the chef would be trying to do.

"Anyways, hurry up, Marimo. When did you start getting them?" Sanji sounded firm, yet he managed not to sound like he was prying. Silence engulfed the room. Minutes passed, and just when Sanji was opening his mouth to say something, Zoro dropped his gaze to the space between them and confessed.

"A while before Luffy picked me up."

Sanji froze, his mouth gaping, eyes widened slowly.

Silence.

"Since…that long ago?" Zoro heard Sanji gasp in astonishment.

Zoro just nodded in response. He couldn't bring himself to look at the cook, keeping his face stony. He couldn't give away the fact that he was overwhelmed with self-pity and was left with the feeling that he was miniscule.

"Zoro, look at me," the cook mumbled. No response. No movement came from the swordsman. "Zoro" Sanji said with more command in his tone.

Zoro looked up and saw something he hadn't anticipated. He had expected either pity or sadness, even anger. But no, the cook had always exceeded Zoro's expectations. For when he looked up, Sanji wore a countenance of kindness and understanding. His charming eyebrow showed signs of his irritation, as it was slightly drawn, but his eyes were full of understanding and…pride. Something Zoro wouldn't have ever expected from this temperamental idiot.

"When did you start taking medication for them?" he asked, his face returning to its prior seriousness.

Zoro reminisced about when he had first gotten the medication.

: -:

His head pulsed with pain. It was a dull deep pain that throbbed within his skull. One of the worst he's had yet. Zoro stumbled as he entered the infirmary.

Chopper jumped in his seat, startled from the unbalanced swordsman clumsily entering the room. Even though he was new to the crew at the time, he knew that this cool swordsman wasn't unbalanced.

"Zoro? What's wrong?" he asked in his worried firm voice as he guided the green-haired man to the bed.

"My…" Zoro's faced scrunched in pain before he continued. "My head hurts… so badly." His hand never left his head.

"Did you hit your head? Where does it hurt?" the doctor pressed.

"It's a headache."

The answer seemed to throw off the little doctor, but he only hesitated for a moment. He asked Zoro about the headache, like how much it hurt, describe the pain, how often I get these headaches so on and so forth. Then he whipped up this pill that he instructed the swordsman to take once a day. Though, as Zoro was leaving with his new drugs and refreshed self-loathing for needing the pills, Chopper had stopped him and asked if he knew why he was getting them, he was asking if Zoro knew what caused his headaches. Zoro managed to get out of that situation and many others with the little doctor. The only one who knew about them was just Chopper. Until a few days ago that is.

: -:

"Zoro."

"Huh?"

"Go on. When did you start taking the medication?" Sanji lightly pressed. Zoro had figured out that he had probably spaced out for a few minutes now, since the cook seemed to be running out of patience.

Zoro sighed and accepted the inevitable. Then he sighed again before continuing,

"About when Chopper joined the crew. He was fairly new to the crew at the time."

Zoro looked away from the blonde again, but he could still see his expression. Sanji was astonished. Zoro could just guess why. Not knowing that one of your nakama was suffering from something of this magnitude, for such a long time too, had to be devastating, even if it was one that pissed you off constantly, one that you had a long misunderstanding with - Zoro was still trying to cope with and accept that.

Zoro started to get uncomfortable with all of the questioning. He started to feel his unquenchable pessimism complain of thirst, the whispers getting louder, murmuring his lack of worth and so on to him. The desolation, the depressing numbness made Zoro feel hollow. Zoro noticed that his cursed sword started to tremble slightly. '_What?'_ He looked down to it suspiciously, but Sanji distracted him.

"Hey… um, you know… The whole being injured thing… and looking after me and stuff," Sanji began. It seemed as though he noticed Zoro's discomfort and decided to change the subject. When Sanji did so, everything within Zoro hushed; the whispers faded, the numbness receded, the pessimism faded, but mind you, they definitely didn't go away. They never did.

"Um… uh, thanks," Sanji mumbled as he looked at the space between them, bangs covering a hint of red that Zoro thought he saw. Zoro couldn't even describe the amount of shock and happiness he felt when he heard that one word come from the cook. '_He… is actually said thank you to me…? What the hell is going on?'_

Before there could be too long of a stretch in the conversation, Zoro snapped himself out of his stupor and shyly glanced between the floor and Sanji.

"Uh, you're… You're welcome." he mumbled.

The two stayed in a comfortable silence. Moments after, Zoro remembered the pill in his clenched fist. He stared at it for a moment longer, feeling Sanji's calm gaze directed towards him and the pill; he took it. After that, Zoro put the empty glass and black bottle back where he had found them, and offered to help the cook settle into the bed. Sanji wasn't quite well enough to actually lie down by himself, and even if he was, he would probably pop the majority of his stitches on his way down.

When that was taken care of, Zoro took his seat next to the bed and watched the cook, who was looking back. '_Maybe… maybe, I was wrong. Maybe I have a chance. The cook is being nicer; he is gentler when speaking to me. He even thanked me! We had a misunderstanding. He doesn't hate me! He isn't picking fights over everything, and his fighting is more playful… If I were to make an inference… I would infer that he may... he might… have some sort of interest in me?' _Zoro immediately shot down the idea, smothering his hopes.

'_You can't start thinking like that, moron,'_ the whispers told him. '_You're just going to hope, and hope, but that doesn't change anything. So what if he's nicer? So what if he doesn't throw a hissy fit over everything? That doesn't change that now, you're in the friend-zone. That's all you will ever be to him: A best friend. Someone to talk to about his __**girl**__ problems. Oh, and since I stumbled upon that subject, he's __**straight**__! For Christ's sake! Just let go of him. Let go of your feeling, your emotions. Be despondent so you won't have to feel anything… neither sad nor happy. Cause no matter what you do, unless you kill your emotions, you will always be __**unhappy**__.'_ Zoro felt himself flinch at that 'thought'.

"Zoro? Are you okay?" that lovely voice asked him.

"Hm? Oh, I'm fine. I just accidentally pulled one of my stitched wounds," he replied with a smile. . It wasn't a lie; he had, when he'd flinched, but to Zoro's surprise. Sanji smiled back.

Suddenly, Zoro noticed something wrong. Kitetsu was shaking. That was _never_ good. But… Zoro had to do something before he could begin to ponder what was wrong with his problem child.

"So… Um," Zoro started as he shifted his gaze to the porthole and out to the lovely sky.

"Hm?" Sanji prompted.

"What now?" Zoro practically mumbled. Dear Lord, he didn't enjoy these situations.

"What?" The cook furrowed his brow. Zoro returned his gaze to the adorably confused chef.

"What now?" he repeated evenly, hoping not to be too deliberate in what he was referring too, but he didn't hope too much, which happened to be a good call since the blonde kept his confusion and slowly shook his head, indicating that he didn't understand. Zoro sighed and watched the cook grow slightly irritated. Zoro knew he'd better clarify what he meant. He didn't want to deal with a pissed Sanji when he had to discuss something like this. Zoro didn't want any more misunderstandings…

"Where do we stand?"

Zoro's bluntness seemed to throw off the cook, wiping off his confusion and replacing it with surprise. They sat in a silence that, for whatever unknown reason, was not awkward, at least at first. They sat like that for a little while. The silence had prolonged to a point that made Zoro started to feel stupid and embarrassed. He just shifted in his seat awkwardly and pouted out the window, trying hard not to show his embarrassment.

Then he heard Sanji chuckle.

Zoro's patience snapped, just like his head to Sanji when he heard that chuckle.

"What the fuck is so funny! Huh, shit-cook?!" he fumed as he glared at the smiling idiot. Sanji's laugh just grew in volume, entertained that he managed to get Zoro on edge without trying too hard. Zoro grit his teeth, bit his tongue before he said something regrettable, sat back into his chair, and pouted out the window again. Sanji's laughter died down with small coughs at the exertion that he shouldn't have been using.

"Friends."

Zoro whipped his head to the blonde beauty in front of him.

"What?"

"Oh come on, Moss-head, don't tell me that you're too dumb to understand that!" he joked. Sanji's rough scratchy laughter filled the room as Zoro's evident irritation seeped through his mask of indifference. Before Zoro came back with an insult or comeback, Sanji spoke again.

"Friends. We have no reason to be enemies. And, we're nakama anyways. So, we're friends," Sanji explained. "Damn, Marimo, you must have moss for brains if I had to spell that out for you." The curly-cue smirked and chuckled as he witness the marimo turn into a Christmas tree in his rage and embarrassment. They will never get enough of making fun of each other: They both knew it.

"Not my fuckin' fault, Curly! You're the one who's on his fuckin period all of the _damn_ time!" Zoro's eyes twinkled with mischief as he smirked at the reaction he pulled out of the cook. The bed-ridden man was pissed - in the good way, if there ever was one - and he looked hot in the eyes of a certain moss-ball, which was always a bonus.

"What did you say, Moss-head!"

"Oh? So now you've gone deaf too, Curly-cue? What's wrong with you?!"

"Pffffft!" Sanji's anger seemed to be quelled and he began to… chuckle. This unexpected action completely took Zoro by surprise, which was apparent on the marimo's face and led Sanji's chuckle to grow louder until pained groans and coughs replaced them. Once Sanji recovered, Zoro spoke in slight shock, "What's so funny?"

"You."

Zoro rolled his eyes to distract the blonde from his blush.

"No shit, Sherlock."

"You rhymed."

"What?" Zoro's face was blank as he stared at a smiling beauty. '_I just realized this but… why is he smiling so much? At me, no less. Meh, I'm just looking too much into things.'_

"'You've gone deaf _too_, Curly-_cue_? What's wrong with _you?'_ That rhymes, Dumbass," Sanji explained, a smirk gracing his lips as he spoke, though the 'dumbass' bit wasn't going to pass by Zoro; and so a friendly banter ensued.

They bickered until Sanji had basically passed out from his fatigue while he was in mid-sentence.

"… You fuckin' moss-ball…" he mumbled to Zoro, and all too soon, small soft snores escaped from his lips as his chest rose and fell. His expressive countenance was relaxed; he looked so cute and innocent as he slept.

'_Cute…'_ Zoro mused as he watched the cook.

'_Fuck. I need to stop thinking like that… One of these day, he's gonna' catch me.' _Zoro's degrading thoughts were cut short by a noise.

A rattling noise to be precise.

Zoro felt his swords chatter amongst themselves, specifically a certain trouble child, the one that was always causing trouble.

_Kitetsu._

The cursed sword was trembling. But from what?

'_Why would Kitetsu be trembling? I know that sometimes it howls at night, but its been rattling a lot lately. When did it start? While I was talking to Sanji? Or earlier?'_ Zoro recalled that when Luffy had woken him up earlier that day, Kitetsu was trembling then too._ 'But, something else is… off. I am not sure how,'_ Zoro contemplated. He leaned back in that forsaken chair, his thought-clouded eyes barely registering that they were looking at the blue sky and sea. Then, it hit him like a ton of bricks.

'_Oh, shit. I hadn't fully noticed before… but… whenever I have these plaguing thoughts, or whenever I tried to block them out … Kitetsu trembled? But why? Does it not think I am a worthy master anymore because of my mental state? That can't be…'_ Zoro thought as he leaned forward, resting his folded arms onto the bed next to Sanji's adorable head. '_That can't be, because I've gotten a little better since I first got the sword. Almost... Just because of the relief of the headaches and shit like that. But still… so… why did my cursed sword tremble? It doesn't want to kill me. I know that cause it would have done it already…'_

Zoro suddenly released a jaw-popping yawn. Fuck, he was so tired. His insomnia hasn't been really helping. He's been sleeping like a normal person, which wasn't enough to satisfy the swordsman's fatigue. His eyes started to become heavy and droop.

'_Shit. This is worrisome. And just to make matters more concerning… I have a bad feeling in… my… gut…_ And with that, Zoro fell asleep next to the cook's head.

: -:

Damn. Who would have guessed that Robin's advice would work?

When Zoro had left the group to their lonesome, Chopper decided to go back to the library and insisted on going alone, which just left Sanji and Robin.

Then Robin told Sanji that she'd noticed how he looked at Zoro behind his back for a while now, so she gave the idiot-cook advice.

"You noticed how I looked at him? How did I look at him?" Sanji had asked, genuinely curious.

"Like you longed for him but couldn't reach out to him, so you acted like a jackass so then it wouldn't seem like you were attracted to him," Robin had said with a smile. Sanji had been thoroughly stunned. He hadn't known. He hadn't known that he looked exactly how he felt. He hadn't even known he felt that way she'd pointed it out. How much of a dumbass could he be?

"Damn. I hadn't noticed… How long had this gone on?" Sanji had asked numbly to his sheets. He wasn't even fazed that he'd sworn in a conversation with one of his precious ladies.

"For as long as I could remember," Robin had replied with nostalgia dripping from her smooth voice.

"Hm," had been all Sanji said. Once he had asked the question, he had known the answer. Ever since he'd seen Zoro go up against Mihawke, throwing away his life for his ambition, Sanji had felt respect for him, but still irked by his recklessness. Since then, he'd seen Zoro go up against those fishmen on Nami's island, and Sanji had gained some remote interest in the marimo, because even when he should have been dead, resting, recovering, Zoro was still fighting and _living_. His first impression of Zoro had been that he was a fucking dumbass brute that needed to re-dye his hair, but as time had worn on, Sanji had gained more interest, which had slowly turned into attraction, and before he'd known it, he'd fallen in love.

When Zoro had trained in the snow and got lost on Chopper's island - and every single damned island for that matter - and how he'd looked when those sakura petals danced around him, when they'd been in Alabasta, when they'd gone onto the first island on the Grand Line together, during the insane events in Water 7… Thriller Bark… Saboady… throughout all of the events that had happened, Sanji had never noticed that he had been harboring growing affections. He had thought they were spontaneous. Fuck, he was a dumbass.

"nji…Sanji" The cook had been reeled out of his thoughts.

"My apologies, my sweet flower, I was just-"

"Thinking about when you began to look at Kenshi-san?" Robin had guessed with frightening accuracy.

"Sometimes, I think you have two devil fruit powers, one enabling you to read minds."

Robin had shrugged and continued, "Be nice to him," She had stated, as if it were as easy as that.

"Wha- but- my dear Robin-chwan, I-"

"Do you want things between you two to get better? Surely you don't want the one you love to hate you." she had bluntly stated. That had shut Sanji right up. He had gazed back at the white sheet that covered his injured self.

"Yes, of course I want things to get better… But, Zoro hates me…" Sanji had trailed off.

"Actually, Cook-san, you wanted to hind your affection so much that it looks like _you_hate _him_. Kenshi-san just goes with the flow of things since he thinks you loathe him," she had explained with a warm calmness. Sanji had sat, stunned. His lungs had burned with the held breath he had taken. '_I made it seem like I loathed Zoro? But…'_ Sanji had released the breath.

'_How does it change anything… I mean, isn't it too late now?'_

"Sanji."

"Hm? Yes, Robin-chwan?" his voice had been soft and contemplative.

"I don't think Kenshi-san ever hated you. If you just be nice, you can see how he reacts yourself. And before you protest, just think about it. If Kenshi-san had gone with the flow of things, do you not think he will do it again? Besides, you love him. Who said you had to be an asshole to him anyway." She had shrugged in a matter of fact way.

"Robin-chwan?"

"Yes, Cook-san?"

"You have been swearing a lot lately."

"No, just with this conversation."

"Why?"

"Because, Cook-san, you're being stupid and it is bothering me. Just be nice to Swordsman-san and see where it gets you." She had replied. Silence had fallen upon the two for a few moments.

"Hm, okay," Sanji had mumbled, and with that Robin had smiled at him and left.

'_I wonder how the hell this will work out.'_

After that little chat, Sanji had decided to be nice to the moss-ball. At least, he'd planned too, but then Zoro had decided to be helpful and it pissed Sanji off to no end. '_He's just helping 'cause everyone is forcing him to! He doesn't volunteer for these things. He isn't doing this 'cause he has any interest in me… but I told Robin I will be nice… and I want to be nice to him, I'm not gonna lie.'_

After that, Sanji tried to be nice, but nothing had changed. He'd expected abrupt shock from Zoro, or an upright confrontation from the marimo demanding to know why he was being such a flatass instead of picking fights like normal. He'd expected all this, but Zoro hadn't broken with his nice routine. A few days had passed, and then Chopper had put him in a wheelchair. '_The marimo's gonna think I am a wimp with this.'_

He had tried to get Chopper to not put him in the wheel chair, telling him that he could walk, but the fuzzy doctor had disregarded him and had put him in the mobile chair anyways.

Then, a harmless conversation had flipped his relationship with the marimo upside down.

They still bickered and poked fun at each other, but there was an obvious change between the two: all of the tension and false hatred fell away into something warm and comfortable. Oh, and had Sanji mentioned that the lug didn't hate him?!

But, all too soon, Sanji had fallen asleep, cutting their new bonding time short. He'd woken disappointed, but as soon as he'd opened his eyes, he could see a cute moss-ball resting right next to him. His tanned-to-perfection arms were folded, and his adorable moss head nestled in them, while the rest of this handsome man leaned forward and sat in that shitty chair.

Sanji just grinned. Things were finally going in a direction he liked.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

***Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece or any of its wonderful characters.  
**

**A special thank you goes out to HadenxCharm, my wonderful beta-reader. Anyways, thank you so much for reading. Please enjoy!***

_Thump, Thump, Thump_!

Zoro's eyes flew open with the sound of heavy footsteps coming from above. Alert, he perked up and looked towards the door, ignoring Sanji's shuffling, as the thumping continued above them. Zoro rose from his chair in caution. Before he left the chef to his lonesome to investigate, he felt a hand wrap around his wrist. He looked back to see a worried cook stalling his departure. Zoro's expression softened.

"Listen, Moss-for-brains. Be carful, you hear?" the cook said with a scowl. He knew that his words had let on that he was actually _worried_, but he did his best to salvage it with a ruthless expression.

Zoro still caught it but he just rolled his eyes and smirked.

"I'll be fine. You just stay there," he said, and Sanji couldn't tell if he was jibing him or not.

Sanji snorted. "Well, I can't go even if I wanted to."

"Good. Now, I'm going," He smiled.

Sanji let go of his wrist and he headed to the deck. When he arrived, he _wished_ it were only just his rambunctious crew, even though he knew it wasn't them.

It was the fucking marines again, stumbling around the Sunny, on the main deck, making a huge racket. Moreover, Smoker was amongst them, barking orders to search the ship as he stomped around on the crew's perfect lawn.

'_Fucking… Gah! Damnit! Shit, just my __**fucking**__ luck,'_ Zoro thought as he peered through the door leading to the deck.

'_I have to make sure they don't find Sanji… I mean, if we weren't ambushed before, and if I were using my head at the time, I could have used my haki from the beginning and we would have had the upper hand… but, I'm just a dumbass… I still need to keep him from Sanji, but it might be better if I don't let them know I'm guarding someone. They'll use that against me.'_

Zoro took a step back from the door. He took a deep breath and exhaled, preparing himself. Since he had been helping out around the ship and refusing to rest, he'd re-opened wounds and popped stitches on more than one occasion - on a hell of a lot of occasions, in fact. So, he had to be a bit more careful, but all bets were off if that got in the way of protecting Sanji…

_Bam_!

Zoro's eyes snapped to those of a low-ranked marine as he stood in the open doorway. The grunt's face twisted with surprise and fear. He opened his mouth…

and his head flew.

Zoro practically phased through the Marine as he decapitated the young fellow.

All eyes snapped to the sound of swords being unsheathed and a soft "thud" of their comrade's head landing on the deck.

Tense silence fell upon the Sunny as Marines recognized the three-sword wielding green demon that stood before them. His bandanna was on and his most precious katana was clenched with his teeth, his eyes were dark and menacing.

Zoro wasted no time. Within a few moments, Zoro debilitated every Marine lackey on deck. As soon as the last body dropped, Zoro paused, stood his ground and sized up Smoker.

Smoker stared back. The vice-admiral barley appeared interested as to why Zoro had just stopped; he just had a deadly look in his eyes. They stared each other down and as Zoro chanced breaking the mutual death gaze showdown they had going on, he noticed that that fucking flame mark was still on Smoker's forehead. '_Where have I seen that before? Why do I have a feeling of upending doom when I look at it?'_

Zoro blinked. He couldn't let such thoughts distract him from his goal. He had to execute his plan. As long as Sanji was safe… Yeah, as long as Sanji was okay, this was for the best

It was a huge risk. Smoker might not follow him and just search the ship. He could be leaving Sanji alone and vulnerable, but Zoro didn't want to destroy the Sunny by fighting Smoker.

Zoro sent a taunting death glare at Smoker, who'd seemed to have received the message and snarled. Before the Marine launched himself at the swordsman, Zoro jumped off the ship and onto the dock. Then, he ran.

A trail of threatening smoke followed the directionless marimo as he fled.

: -:

Sanji had heard cries and thudding and assumed that Zoro had knocked-out all of the Marines… So, why hasn't that moss-ball returned? Where was he? Maybe he was still shoving disembodied limbs off the deck and into the ocean. It couldn't take that long though, right? Zoro would've come back to him to make sure Sanji knew about his victory before cleaning the bloody deck, right?

Sanji would have check a while ago…

But, he can't.

He couldn't move too much without the help of that moss-head. Even though it had been several days since the incident, Chopper had said it would take longer to heal because of all of the damage he'd taken at once. Having punctured two internal organs while you've had to deal with smoke inhalation, with the fifteen-some-fucking stab wounds he'd been bestowed with, not to mention some muscle damage, doesn't really guarantee you leaving the infirmary, or even moving around, in _just_ a few days.

So, Sanji was pretty fucking useless. He couldn't even check if that moss-ball was okay or not… Not like he was worried – oh whom was he kidding? He was _beyond_ worried. He was vexed. He was anxious. He was concerned. He was all of the fucking above. If he could smoke, he would have been done with a pack within the first thirty minutes… It had been an hour since that marimo had left… Sanji couldn't help but think of scenarios that could have happened.

'_What if the moron had got lost somehow? What if he fell off of the deck somehow, swam to shore, and got lost after taking care of the trespassers? Or, what if Smoker was there? Smoker would never leave us alone; it makes sense that he'd find us, and since it looks like no one was on board, it would be reasonable to try to take over the ship. But, Zoro, Franky and I are here. Either way, he can't go up against Smoker like that! I know he's been pushing himself these past several days. He was almost as messed up as me; he had like ten stab wounds! I mean, what the hell?! That stupid Marimo, making me worried and shit!'_

Sanji sat alone for a while and fretted, the silence was becoming unnerving. Were Franky and Zoro okay?

'_... Wait now that I think about it… Where the hell is Franky? I hadn't heard his "SUUUUPPPEERRR" yell…'_ As if he had been summoned, Franky walked in.

"Yo, Sanji-bro! How're you holding up?" the cyborg calmly asked.

Sanji stared at him blandly.

"Uh, Sanji?"

"Where the fuck were you?" Sanji asked, genuinely curious. He wasn't angry or anything, he was just surprised that Franky wasn't on the deck. Had he seriously not noticed Zoro's huge fight and all those marines stomping around on deck getting sliced to pieces?

"Oh, I was working on a project in my workshop, an' jamming out to some suuuuuuppppppeeeeeerr awesome music!"

Sanji didn't move a muscle; he just stared. "Franky."

"Yeah, Sanji-bro?"

"Did you know that someone boarded the ship? Probably _marines_?"

Franky's eyes nearly popped out of his head. The cyborg started towards the door as he spoke, "What?! I have to-" Sanji cut him off before he could leave.

"Zoro already took care of it."

The man visibly relaxed and asked the question: "Oh, well, that's good. Where is he now? Shouldn't he be here?"

"I have no _fucking_ clue _where_ he is."

Franky stared at him from the doorway he as he headed out.

"You're worried about him, aren't you?"

Sanji began to feel panic bubble up within him, but he refused to let it show. He wasn't quite ready for anyone else to know about his sudden-not-so-sudden feelings for that moss-ball. Then again, it kind of stung for everyone to be so surprised when he showed even an ounce of care for Zoro's wellbeing. Had he been such an asshole for so long that everyone thought that he really would rather that Zoro were dead? What a horrible thought…

"And _why_ would I be worried about that shitty-swordsman?" Sanji snarled. He cringed inwardly for deciding to lie about something he probably didn't have to, but he couldn't help it… He was so used to lying about it, even when he was unaware about the extent of his affections.

"Well, I can tell your worried because you've been so calm this whole time."

Sanji froze, and then winced as he pulled some of his stitches.

"That doesn't mean anything." Sanji shifted in his bed and positioned himself to sit up.

"Oh, yeah? Wouldn't you usually start yelling at me for not knowing about the intruders? You should be cursing out Zoro-bro right now for just up and leaving. You're pretty calm; no yelling hysterically, or comically for that matter, and no name calling or cursing. For _you_, that seems pretty worried." Franky reasoned while leaning on the doorframe, giving Sanji a questioning expression.

Sanji kept his face straight and blank, and more importantly, _unreadable_. He inwardly cursed himself for failing to deceive his nakama.

"Fuck you. I am not worried." Sanji refused.

Franky shrugged and turned to leave.

"Whatever you say, bro."

"Are you going to look for Zoro?"

Franky smirked, knowing that he was right about the cook's concern.

"Yeah…"

Sanji released a small sigh of relief.

"… When someone else comes back," Franky finished.

Sanji stared at Franky, whom stared back, as if he were asking 'any objections?'

Sanji had hoped he would go for Zoro as soon as possible, but he knew that Franky was making a good call. Sanji couldn't do anything if something else happened. He knew he was useless for now. Besides, Zoro could hold his own, even injured. Sanji could remember that fight with Arlong from so long ago, where Zoro had fought even with that huge wound from Mihawke. That fucker just wouldn't die, and Sanji didn't have anything to worry about.

Still, he didn't feel particularly reassured.

"Of course," Sanji agreed and lay back down, nestling into a welcoming blanket and pillow. Franky seemed to have received the hint and left the cook to his lonesome.

'_Will that moss-head be okay?'_ Sanji banished his thoughts. He can't continue thinking about that damn worrisome marimo if he wanted to take a nap… But, he couldn't help himself. Sanji went through scenario after scenario, wondering where the hell Zoro had gone.

Then, Sanji heard a noise above him; it sounded like hooves clopping above.

'_Chopper?'_

Then, the little reindeer walked into the room. He seemed to be rather… down. He didn't even look at Sanji, let alone acknowledge his presence. Chopper just passed by Sanji while looking at the floor sullenly. Sanji watched as the doctor trudged to his chair, slowly sat on it, and stared at the wood in front of him. After a few minutes of silence, Sanji opened his mouth to ask Chopper what was wrong; but then Chopper pulled off his backpack and retrieved an old and worn book from it. Sanji watched Chopper who was staring at the book dejectedly. Sanji decided to interrupt the doctor and his staring; it was starting to make Sanji uncomfortable and panic began to slowly invade him.

"Chopper?"

One of Chopper's ears twitched, indicating that he had heard the cook. He looked up from the book, and Sanji's panic skyrocketed: he looked so _sad_. The reindeer's dark chocolate brown eyes were filled with tears he refused to release; the playful and childish glint in those eyes was replaced with pain and sorrow.

"Sanji…" He sounded like a lost child.

"Chopper, what's wrong?" Sanji heard himself ask, sounding so calm and collected. But frankly, on the inside, he wasn't. He was far from it. With Zoro missing, and now, with Chopper looking so disheartened; Sanji _knew_ this couldn't be good; His gut was telling him that this was something that was going to be devastating. He already felt an upending doom hang over him like a storm cloud ready to unleash its wrath.

"Sanji… Zoro isn't okay…" Chopper's voice shook as his tears welled up, some escaped and ran into his fur.

: -:

"LUFFY! Damnit. Where the hell did that numbskull go?" Nami growled.

"Hell if I know." Usopp shrugged.

"Yohohoho! I will keep my eyes peeled! Oh wait, I have no eyes! Yohohohoho!" Brook joked as he hacked away at the overgrown vegetation.

"Geez, that Luffy. I can't believe he got lost in this forest!" Nami gesticulated in frustration. Then she sighed, put her hands on her hips, and smiled.

"Well, he can take care of himself. Let's ditch him and move on! The treasure is waiting for me!" Her attitude switched from irritated to cheerful in about two seconds flat, and Usopp just stared at her while Brook laughed and cut down more vegetation.

"You just wanted to seem concerned for him, so I wouldn't say something about it right? Oh and by the way, your eyes turned to beli again," Usopp said monotonously, pointing at Nami's ridiculous eyes.

Nami ignored him and began to boss Brook around, "This way! Brook, clear the way!"

Usopp sighed. "Well, I hope Luffy doesn't cause too much trouble." Then, he laughed, shaking his head. They'd probably hear some sort of commotion from the town in about an hour. That would surely be their captain.

: -:

"Man, I wonder where they went." Luffy stood and thought for a moment until a smile appeared on his face.

"Oh well! They can take care of themselves!" he reasoned cheerfully as he wandered the forest. He'd managed to befriend a little piglet. He wondered how big its mother was. Would Sanji be able to cook it? Maybe he could find Zoro to drag the pig back to the ship with him and then they could have a barbecue party on the boat tonight!

Just as he was drooling over the different kinds of meat sauce that Sanji might use, he heard a cry for help.

"Eh. I wonder what that's about." With that, Luffy ran towards the screaming, the little pig hot on his heels.

: -:

"Oh, this is interesting," Robin whispered to herself in delight over the history book she had been reading in the library. The history within this book was about this island they were on. It was named 'Clandestine Island'; the reason being is unknown apparently, although there were many legends surrounding the name, none Robin had found incredibly interesting.

Though there was _one_ article that had certainly caught her attention. It was an old article about an old man who'd lived next to a waterfall - Robin had asked the librarian if the man was still alive since the events happened about ten or so years ago. Apparently, he was the strongest warrior this island had ever seen, with his rival at a close second, and this piqued a fiery rivalry between the two. In one of these competitions the two would hold almost destroyed half the island.

But, one day, the warrior's rival had found an item. The book neglected to say what the item was, but it did contain the fact that this item was cursed.

What had intrigued Robin was that this item was similar to Zoro's sword; the item would harm anyone who wasn't strong enough to be called its master. The book even went on to mention the item hadn't accepted even the old man, the strongest warrior available to it.

After his rival obtained this item, he'd changed. Again, the book neglected to say how, but that was perhaps because soon after he had obtained the item, he'd left.

About two years later, a letter was sent to the old man; it'd said that his friend had died. His friend had died from his worst fear. The friend had had aichmophobia; he'd feared needles. A nakama of his that he made on his travels wrote to the old man saying that they'd fought a man with a needle-needle fruit power and that his friend had been killed.

After that the old man secluded himself in the forest.

"I wonder if this old man would tell me about that item," she whispered to her book. "Oh, and now that I think about it, I wonder if there is a poneglyph here… Looking at the dates that the other history books have, it seems as though some date back to around the Void century… Looks like I will have a good time here." She smirked, returned the books she'd pulled out, and left to carry out her own adventure. Though, when she walked outside, her mood somewhat dampened when she began to think about the little doctor.

Robin was concerned about Chopper when he'd opened a medical book, read for about five minutes, closed it, checked it out, and left. What was worrying was that before he'd left, he'd told her that he needed to be alone for a little while, so she respected that and left him to do what he desired. She really hoped that she was just overthinking, and that her nakama, especially Zoro, were okay.

: -:

"LEAVE ME BE!"

The shouting was getting closer. Luffy burst through the brush and examined the scene that was displayed before him. He was in a beautiful clearing with a majestic waterfall spilling its contents to the river below. A yellow, mushroom-like house stood close to the waterfall. The scene would have been rather beautiful if the marines harassing an old man hadn't ruined it.

"Help!" the old man yelped as a marine knocked the old man's cane away from him, causing the poor guy to fall.

"You blasted-" he started, but then the marine raised his rifle to aim between his eyes. Right when the old man thought he'd lived long enough, was ready to accept his fate, and closed his eyes, a gust of wind hit his face as a scream began loud but faded as the wind calmed.

"Are you okay, Ji-ji?" a voice asked. The old man opened his eyes and saw a boy in a straw-hat stand before him. The old man blinked, realized he wasn't hearing anyone else stomping around, and looked around.

All of the marines lay unconscious in the lush grass. He looked back to the straw-hat kid.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks, kid. What's your name?" the old man asked as the kid retrieved his cane and handed it to him.

"I'm Luffy! I'm going to be the king of the pirates!" he cheered. The old man blinked at the straw-hat kid again.

"Who are you, Old-man?" Luffy asked after he'd finished cheering. The old man just stared at him. He seemed to be evaluating him.

After a few more moments of silence, the old man sighed and began to walk away. He stopped when he noticed Luffy wasn't following and sighed again. The old man looked over his shoulder and said, "Follow me. I will take you to my home."

With that, Luffy smiled his signature smile and ran up to the old man. When he caught up, they walked over to the yellow house.

"My name is Chie."

"Your name is 'wisdom'?"

"My parents weren't that creative. Now, come inside, I was just in the middle of making dinner when those marines came. I hope nothing has burned."

"Alright! Fooooooooood!" Luffy whooped as he entered Chie's house, the aroma of herbs and spices blessing his senses.

: -:

"Chopper," Sanji began slowly as to not upset the reindeer any further, and to avoid having his own voice betray him. "What do you mean by 'Zoro isn't fine?'"

Chopper sniffled, rubbed his eyes, and slumped in his chair.

After a few moments of letting the doctor gather himself, Sanji never felt so… _constricted_. He felt as though his lungs were deprived of oxygen, his heart having clenched up, along with the rest of his internal organs. Even when he was being choked by smoke, Sanji had never felt so suffocated.

"Chopper?" Sanji asked again, hearing his voice crack. Chopper's ear twitched again, and when he looked up, Sanji immediately felt as though a knife was stabbed in his heart and was mercilessly twisting. It twisted and twisted the longer he looked at the little reindeer, until he just couldn't take it any longer.

"Chopper." He stressed, his voice shook ever so slightly. Chopper put on his doctor face, realizing that his silence was distressing him.

"Sanji, I think know what's wrong with Zoro."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

***Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece or any of its wonderful characters.  
**

**A special thank you goes out to HadenxCharm, my wonderful beta-reader. Anyways, thank you so much for reading. Please enjoy!***

"You, what…?" Sanji breathed, trying to get the air that was sucked out of his lungs to come back. If Chopper knew what was wrong with Zoro… then, shouldn't he be happier about it? Why was he so upset? If he knew what was wrong, then he could fix Zoro, right?

Sanji was confused; should he be relieved that Chopper had found out what was wrong with Zoro, or if he should he be concerned?

"If you know what's wrong with Zoro, then you can treat him, right? Chopper?" Sanji asked. He sounded so desperate, so hopeful.

Then, Chopper's ear twitched, and Sanji instantly knew that the news was going to be devastating. Chopper's ear only twitches when he is either listening to someone or something, or if he was about to give upsetting news. Sanji felt himself shrivel up and die inside. He felt gravity intensify and weigh down on him in an unfathomable magnitude. He felt his heart clench and twist around in his chest in impossible ways. He felt an overcast that shrouded him, an overcast that enveloped him.

"I can help him… But, this is something that can take months to treat. Moreover, I don't think _I_ can treat him. I can certainly guide someone else to do it," Chopper began; his eyes were glazed over with professionalism while, tears hung in the corner, spilling out slowly.

"But, Sanji, what Zoro is experiencing isn't physical. His physical condition, with the exception of the headaches and the wounds he received several days ago, is fine. I ran various amounts of tests when I was checking up on him, without his knowledge, and _all_ of them came out satisfactory… What Zoro is dealing with… it isn't… it isn't physical…" Chopper paused in his explanation and looked down to that old leather bound book he had brought with him. He seemed to be collecting himself to say what he dreaded divulging most, but Sanji didn't give a fuck. He didn't care. He just wanted to know what was wrong with his marimo…

What was so wrong with Zoro that Chopper was having a hard time saying it? Was Zoro going to be okay…?

"Chopper, what is it? What's wrong with Zoro?" He whispered. He didn't care how pathetic he sounded, to hell with that shit. He felt like he was being_ smothered_. The anxiety was starting to get to him. He _needed_ to know.

Chopper took a deep breath and said it.

"I think it's something psychological. I think he is either experiencing bipolar depression, or severe depression, which is also known as clinical depression or major depressive disorder. I could go so far as to call them terminal illnesses, because most people are stuck with this for life and end up committing suicide."

With that, the little reindeer lost his doctor image and wept.

: -:

"Oh, there it is. What a lovely little house," Robin commented with a small smile as she stared at the scenery around her. A little yellow mushroom-like house rested on lush green grass within a clearing. Next to it was a beautiful waterfall that poured into a river, snaking its way to the never-ending breathtaking ocean. The sprays from the waterfall reflected the sun's rays, producing a wonderful rainbow above.

However, Robin's admiring was cut short when she heard an all too familiar laugh come from within the house.

Robin smiled her all-knowing smile, walked to the door, and knocked. She heard crashing and yelling come from within until the door opened. From behind the door, an old man had emerged. He almost resembled a small panda bear, if it weren't for his human features and the cute green kimono he wore with bamboo decorating it.  
"Hello, Miss. Can I help you?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. Robin giggled behind a hand. She figured it must have been unusual to have a visitor, let alone a stranger come and knock on your door while you lived in the middle of a forest.

"I came to ask you some questions, Chie-san. Moreover, it seems like one of my nakama is here." She smiled. Chie stared at her as if he were evaluating her. After a few moments, he sighed and looked over his shoulder.

"Hey, Luffy, do you know this woman?"

Luffy peeked out from behind the door and instantly flashed one of his brilliant smiles.

"Robin! What are you doing here?" he asked as he jumped back into what appeared to be the living room.

"Oh, so you _do_ know her." Chie glanced at Robin and then stepped aside to let her in. Robin gave a slight bow in appreciation and entered.

It was a rather modest living space, but Robin had been slightly wrong in her assumption. The living area was also his bedroom, since there was a bed and dresser to Robin's left. The dresser stood next to the foot of the bed. She was reassured to see that there was also a small couch, a chair, a rug and a fireplace, glad to know that they weren't intruding into a man's bedroom needlessly. The kitchen was located across from Robin and seemed to be its own room, though no door separated the two areas.

"It's small, but comfortable, so please, make yourself at home." Chie smiled up at Robin. She smiled back, and he led her to the sofa to sit.

"Would you like something to eat? I am just about done with dinner," Chie asked as he shuffled to the kitchen with Luffy close behind.

"Oh, no, thank you," she politely refused. Chie shrugged and dished out some food for Luffy before he busted a blood vessel just for waiting for food. When Luffy was satisfied and happily gobbling up his dinner, Chie brewed tea and served some for Robin. When he poured his own tea, he sat next to Robin and turned to her.

"So, you wanted me to answer some of your questions?"

"Yes. I was curious about your rival and his story," Robin asked calmly as she sipped away at her tea. Chie's cup stopped just before he had taken a sip and lowered it. Chie looked down at his tea in contemplation, and Robin allowed him the time to recover from that unexpected question.

"What would you like to know about him? Do you want to know about the curse?" Chie asked softly to his tea. Robin blinked, quickly recovered from her momentary surprise and then gently rested her cup in her lap, hands still holding it so it wouldn't fall.

"Yes, I would like to know everything that you know about the curse."

Chie sighed and relaxed into the sofa.

"I will tell you because of him," Chie responded as he jabbed his thumb in Luffy's direction. After another sigh, he began his tale.

"That item he had was, as you know, cursed. We'd known it was cursed, but he was the only one who could utilize it," Chie began; his eyes were glazed with nostalgia. "The item was a weapon; a dagger. Before he'd had it in his possession, he was a hot-blooded man. He was fierce, strong, in mind and body. He was also very kind. Well, he was kind to everyone except me." Chie chuckled at a memory he neglected to share, his eyes shining as he talked about his rival, and Robin immediately knew that this was something that was hard for Chie to talk about.

Then, he continued, "But then he found that weapon. It was washed up on the beach, he picked it up, kept it, and then he changed." Chie paused. His nostalgia turned into melancholy, and when he didn't continue, Robin gently pulled him out of his thoughts.

"How did he changed?" she asked him. He glanced at her, and then went on.

"He became more paranoid. He'd become less trusting and standoffish. He, who was once an extrovert, became introverted. He lost a certain light in his eyes, a certain fire he had in them. At one point, he was fearful." Chie paused again to take a sip of his tea.

"And he'd become like that because of that dagger's curse."

"What was the curse?" Robin prompted.

"The curse is more like a legend. The legend says that several weapons were chosen to be the sacred possessions of a certain _powerful_ king during the void century. This king loved and treasured these weapons. Then, one day, an assassin tortured and killed the king with the very same blades. It is said that the king loved these weapons so much that he didn't even fight back, even though he had an opportunity to at one point. Stupid king, if you ask me." Chie scoffed momentarily, rolling his eyes.

"Anyways, after that, it is said that these weapons chose their masters and harmed anyone else besides their wielder. It is also said that these weapons mysteriously kill their masters in accidents, not because the master was defeated in battle. They were killed by their _own blade_. Hundreds of men fell victim to them. These weapons move from master to master, in their search for their 'king'." Chie took a break from his story to refresh himself with his cooling tea. Robin was slightly shocked. '_This is awfully similar to the legend of Zoro's cursed katanas … He'd mentioned it once before, I can't remember when, but I do remember the legend.'_

"However," Chie continued, pulling Robin out of her thoughts, "That is not the whole legend."

Robin blinked. "It's not?" From what Robin knew, that should have been the whole legend…

"No, it's not. Not many know this, and it's not written in a lot of books, but that is not the whole legend."

"Then, what _is_ the rest of the legend?"

Chie stared at his tea again, and just when Robin opened her mouth to prompt him to continue, he began his tale once again.

"The whole legend says that these weapons look for their current master's weaknesses, and if he or she does have one, it will exploit it until their master gets killed by it. Basically, the weapon finds the master's weakness and uses that weakness to kill them, because if there is any weakness at all, the blade believes they are unworthy," Chie finished. The room had fallen into a tense silence, with the exception of Luffy's loud eating sounds. Then, Robin decided to speak up.

"Do you know any of the other weapons?" she kept her voice even, which was rather impressive for what she had in mind. _'I hope my hunch is wrong…'_

"I only know of a few others, and they are infamous. They're swords of some kind. I'm sorry, I can't remember their names, but they go in order," Chie answered. Then he rose from his seat, took Robin's empty cup away, and began to clean up Luffy's mess. Robin got up and began to help him, which didn't bother him at all.

"Thank you very much for telling me." With that, Chie smiled sadly to her, and they cleaned in silence.

After they were done, Robin decided to take her leave.

"See you later, Robin!" Luffy shouted as he stood next to Chie at the door.

"You aren't coming, Captain-san?"

"Nope! Not yet! Chie said he would make me more food!"

Robin giggled. "Okay, Captain-san. I will see you later."

"Later!" Luffy shouted as he ran back into the room. Then, Robin turned to Chie.

"Thank you again, Chie-san." She smiled

"You are welcome, Miss. Robin." The panda-like man smiled back. Just when Robin was about leave, she turned back around, grabbing Chie's attention.

"If I may ask one more question," she began. With a curious nod from the old man, Robin continued in a hushed voice, "Did you love him?"

Chie's eyes nearly popped out of his head, which made Robin smile, but he recovered quickly and looked her in the eyes.

"How… did you know?" He'd sounded flabbergasted.

"I could tell from the look in your eyes when you were speaking about him before," she answered.

"Ah, I see. Yes, I did love him. I wanted him to ditch the weapon when we found out that it was cursed, but, again, he was the only one who could use it, so he kept it. The temptation was too powerful," Chie answered, his smile turning sad, eyes casted to the ground. Robin opened her mouth, but Chie beat her to it. "Before you say anything, just know you don't have to apologize. I came to terms with it years ago. Again, I only I told you all of this because of your captain. I'd be thankful if you didn't write this into the legends," he stated, looking up at Robin again. She smiled at him.

"Your secret is safe with me. Thank you. Goodbye, Chie-san." With that, she turned around and walked away.

"Goodbye, Miss. Robin," she heard over her shoulder. She smiled sadly as she made her way into the forest.

: -:

"Fuck, did I lose him?" Zoro panted as he hid within a cave he'd found. Smoker had been chasing him for about three hours now, and frankly, Zoro was getting a little bit tired.

"Shit," he whispered to himself as he observed his surroundings. He had no fucking clue where the fuck he was. Just his _fucking_ luck. He had to get back to Sanji. He had to make sure that the cook was still okay.

With his Sanji-filled thoughts, Zoro developed a new sense of purpose and went on his way. He left the cave and began to walk around aimlessly through the woods, although he proceeded with caution, because apparently the marines were still looking for him. He'd almost been caught several times by wandering low-ranked marines. Zoro was just about to wander to a yellow house to ask for directions, until several marines stomped out of the forest and into the clearing. They were so irritated that they haven't found him that they took it out on an old man by the waterfall! They almost _shot_ him!

If it weren't for Luffy, he would have stepped in and killed them, but since Luffy _had_ interfered, so Zoro didn't even bother showing himself. He had more important things to attend to, like finding out if Sanji was okay, because if he wasn't… then it would be Zoro's fault … and he couldn't even think about that.

'_Again. How can you fucking __**not**__ think about it!? You're such a dumbass! Besides, __**why**__ the fuck do you care so __**fucking**__ much? __**He will never love you**__. Damn, how many times do you have to think that until you actually get it? And, what if he __**was**__ hurt? Then it __**would**__ be your __**entire**__ fault. What would you do about it? What __**can**__ you do about it? __**Nothing**__. You can't do a __**damn**__ thing. All you do is cause __**suffering**__ and bring about death wherever you fucking __**go**__. You are far too weak to protect a __**damn**__ thing. You __**aren't**__ and will __**never be**__ good enough. You will not be able to keep your childish promise. __**Never,**__'_

He thought to himself.

Zoro froze mid-step, his eyes darkened and he instantly felt so lifeless. In all his life, he'd never doubted, never wavered in his own determination to see that promise through no matter what. He felt like he'd just betrayed himself a little by doubting that, even for a second. _'… What did I just think…?'_

He knew it wasn't that whisper this time. _He_ was thinking this now. He knew, because it had sounded more like his own voice instead of the hushed whisper trapped within his head.

The waves crashed against him, they built up to consume him and pulled him under, once again. What had he done? He'd… He'd doubted, and in that, he'd broken his promise a little. His chest grew heavy and void. His heart felt like it was being pierced, over and over again, each stab contained more miserable emotions, each one held an overwhelming guilt that was sharply sent throughout his body. His _being_ felt so _constricted, so suffocated_. It was like there was cancer in his blood, and water filled his lungs. He felt as if the wretched ocean's pressure had _intensified_. He could have sworn he was being crushed by the weight of the world. He could have sworn he was drowning.

Then, with a simple snap of a twig, Zoro was brought back into reality.

"Swordsman-san?" a familiar, feminine voice called.

"Robin? What are you doing here?" he asked in confusion, matching his face to his confused voice, trying desperately to cover up his little meltdown, which was still persistently dragging him down. Even in his devoid state, he could hear that his voice was flat and listless, struggling to force real care and interest into it.

'_Shit, what the fuck is wrong with me?… I need to get a fucking grip on __**this**__ and overcome it on my own… I need to get over this __**shit**__, because no matter how shitty I feel, I'm__** never**__ backing out on that promise I made. Fuck everything. I'll keep that promise if it takes my last goddamn breath. It'd be so easy if only I didn't feel like this all the time,'_ he thought to himself as he continued to act like he gave a fuck as to why she was here.

Don't get Zoro wrong; he cared about his nakama. He loved them. He just suddenly didn't care about shit anymore, and, he didn't really know why. He just felt so hollow and numb, like he was making decisions passively behind a screen, watching his body move to his reactions rather than really being present in the moment. Maybe, it was because of what was wrong with him, but it's not like he really cared anymore, so to hell with it.

"I came to visit an old man. Anyways, what are you doing out here?" she asked, her curiosity slightly apparent in her voice.

"I was getting chased by marines," he replied truthfully. There was no reason to keep something like him being chased from her, it something so trivial, despite the fact that she could tell their nakama and he'd get a ton of shit for leaving the ship when he wasn't supposed to. But Robin just nodded, turned and began to walk away.

"Follow me, we are going back to the ship." She said over her shoulder. When she heard footsteps behind her, she smiled and quietly led the directionless swordsman to where he wanted to go.

How had she known Zoro wanted to go to the ship? Well, Zoro wasn't going to question it. He gave absolutely no fucks as to how she found out, besides, she probably knew he was lost and he was supposed to be on the ship anyway. But, right now, the only thing Zoro had actually cared about was to see Sanji and to see if he was still okay.

It seemed like that was the last part of his brain that was still capable of feeling. Sanji. Sanji was safe, he hadn't burnt out, which irked Zoro a little, because that was the part he'd been trying desperately to stifle, and only it had survived.  
Regardless of whether he wanted it or not, it was staying, and despite the pain, it was important. He had to see Sanji. Maybe it could sooth the hurt of the sudden rift between him and the feeling portion of his heart. So, he shut up and followed the only one who knew where the fuck the ship went. He swore his nakama changed the docking position of the ship to mess with him.

: -:

"Whoa… Is that what I think it is?" Usopp asked in awe as he stared at the giant cube before him.

"Yeah… It is," Nami answered as she brushed a hand over the ancient words engraved into the cube. "I can't believe we found one… I would be pissed if I'd found nothing, but this sort of makes up for my lost treasure…"

"What is it? Why was this here instead of the treasure?" Brook asked in wonder. He could have sworn Nami had said the treasure should be here… but this cube was where the "X" marked the spot.

"It's a poleglyph!" Nami shouted in excitement.

"It's a huge part of Robin's dream! We have to go find her!" Usopp exclaimed.

"Yeah! Let's hurry and go get her!" Nami squealed. Her eyes twinkled with happiness and excitement for her nakama and began to walk away and towards the town, leaving the men to wonder if she was ill since she seemed to have forgotten about her lost treasure.

: -:

"Oi, Ji-ji," Luffy began as he stuffed his face with food.

"Hm?"

"Why were you being attacked by marines?"

Chie glanced up from his newspaper to look at and the young man.

"Why are you asking me that now?"  
Luffy looked up and smiled.

"I just remembered." Chie sighed as Luffy laughed.

"Apparently they were looking for a young man with green hair and they thought I was keeping him here."

Luffy perked up when he heard 'green hair' and smiled again.

"Zoro! I wonder what he's doing!" Chie raised an eyebrow as he watched Luffy laugh and eat at the same time.

"One of your nakama?"

"Yep!"

"Ah." And with that, Chie went back to his crossword puzzle while Luffy continued to do what Luffy does, and that's eating.

: -:

"Here we are, Swordsman-san," Robin said as she stared at the Sunny. He mumbled a thank you and climbed up, the roped latter and disappeared into the ship. Robin smiled and then made her way back to the library. She thought it may hold some sort of clue as to if there were a poleglyph on this island, but before she could enter the library, she heard someone call for her.

"Robin!"

"Nami?" Robin was surprised. Why were she, Usopp, and Brook running over here? Robin had thought that they were looking for treasure.

"Robin! You won't believe it! We found a poleglyph!" Usopp shouted as soon as he had reached her; pride, joy, and excitement filled his voice.

"Yohohoho! Yes! You should come and see it! I couldn't believe my eyes! Oh wait; I have no eyes! Yohohohoho!" Brook joked.

"Really?" Robin's eyes widened, her voice consumed with hope and joy. That was a lot easier than she had anticipated.

"Yes! Come on! Let's go! I, the great captain Usopp, will guide you!" he exclaimed. He began to march in the direction of the poleglyph. With that, Robin joined Nami's group to go and take another baby step towards her dream.

: -:

"Sanji," Chopper wept as he hurried to the cook and gently hugged him. Sanji took a moment to register that he was being hugged until he squeezed back. Sanji was still trying to absorb what Chopper had just told him. '_It had to be a joke, right? __**Depression**__. That's what was wrong with Zoro? He had depression. The man who will become the world's greatest swordsman is depressed. What the fuck? What kind of __**shitty**__ joke is this?' _

"He… He has _depression_?" Sanji asked abstractedly, his voice was small, surprised, and a little shaky.

"O-or bipolar d-d-depression…" Chopper mumbled into Sanji's shoulder between his sobs. Sanji wanted to know and understand more but he waited for a while until Chopper was calm enough that he could actually form coherent sentences.

After a few more moments of staring at the little reindeer in his lap, he asked his searing question.

"Why can't you tell if he has bipolar depression or severe depression?" Sanji managed to ask evenly, which was really impressive if he did say so himself, cause he felt like a complete pile of _shit_ at the moment. He could barely keep his emotions in check.

"Because those two are originally hard to differentiate. However, the more I think about it, the more that I'm sure he has major depressive disorder. The reason being that if he had bipolar depression, then he would also experience euphoric phases too, and from what I have gathered he does not experience those episodes. These episodes are called 'mania'. Basically, bipolar involves mania and depression while depression is a consistent low period that can last for weeks, months… even years," Chopper mumbles expertly while looking down at the white blanket.

"Well, if he's just bummed out, then when why don't we just cheer him up? What's the big deal?" Sanji asked almost angrily at his sheets. He knew this was a dumb question. He knew this depression thing was a big deal, he just didn't understand. He didn't understand _how_ serious it was.

Chopper stiffened in the cook's lap and trembled ever so slightly.

"'Just depression?' Sanji, this is serious. Even though it is very treatable, depression is a serious psychological disorder within the brain that can negatively affect your mental and physical health," Chopper explained in a tense strained voice that expressed just how serious he was. "It's not just being sad. It's deeper than that. It's a dragging persistent low. Usually physical activity can help to bring a person out of it, but Zoro does a lot of that and still seems to have it anyway. I don't know how to help him!"

Sanji blinked. "Wait, it affects you physically too?" he asked in bewilderment. When the fuck did it do that? How could it do that if it was all in your head? Sanji couldn't believe this. He knew it fucked with your mind, but it also messes with your body? What?

"Yeah. The physical symptoms are eating too much or too little, insomnia or sleeping for long periods of time, inexplicable aches and pain, and lack of energy one used to have, mostly for activities you used to enjoy or socializing in general," Chopper deliberated, his voice as even as he could make it, but still quivered slightly. He paused to gather himself for what he was about to say. After a moment, Chopper continued, "All of which Zoro is currently experiencing."

Chopper didn't even wait for Sanji to say anything, he just talked. "I know you know that he hasn't been eating much. He's been losing a bit of weight too, nothing too bad, I thought it was just some fluctuation in his weight, but he never gained the weight back. I've noticed he's also been napping less, before it wasn't too bad. He would just lose a little bit of sleep and when he was exhausted enough he would make up the sleep. It wasn't good, but it wasn't bad either. But then, he just had fewer naps and bit-by-bit he began to sleep like a normal person who was prescribed something. And since we are on that topic, Zoro gets inexplicable persistent headaches. Moreover, he has been losing interest in weight lifting; he seems to be showing a lack of energy… All of the physical symptoms match up…" Chopper breathed.

"So something bad happened all at once and now he's depressed?"

"He's probably had it this whole time, but it got a lot worse just now. I don't know how to bring him out of this, Sanji. He never reaches out to anyone, and trying to force your way into the affairs of someone who's severely depressed can make them withdraw further. He has to _want_ help or there'll be nothing we can do."

He felt tears coming on and then arms wrap around him. Sanji gave the little reindeer a hug, but it wasn't to comfort Chopper, he soon realized. For Chopper heard the faintest of sniffles from behind him and right then he knew that Sanji was just about as torn up as he was, maybe even more so, since Sanji would never cry for Zoro.

"And," the little doctor continued as he returned the cook's hug, "He's not just losing the motivation to eat or sleep. He's experiencing the emotional aspects of it too." Chopper continued.

"When you had told Robin and me about the looks Zoro had when he thought that no one is looking, when Robin had said she sensed his despair when you were almost dead, when I thought about Zoro's lack of interest in his training and his distant stares to sea; I _knew_, as soon as I read that psychology book over there," He said as he pointed to the leather book, "I knew Zoro was feeling the emotional aspects of depression."

"What are those symptoms?" Sanji asked glumly. He wasn't a dumbass, he knew depression is when you feel… well, _depressed_, but he knew the word was overused in the wrong situations. He didn't know anything about _true persistent depression._ Though, he didn't really want to know anymore. He didn't think he could handle knowing.

How could one of his nakama be like this…? Especially the one that he _loved_. He knew that Zoro's past was screwed up. That little girl's death had broken something inside of him, and he'd killed so many people… It had to weigh on someone. Zoro was a monster, when one looked at his strength, his healing abilities, his sheer determination, but everyone had a breaking point. Even surrounded now by people who love him, who all supported his dream and pursued their own, those demons still haunted Zoro. If Zoro still felt that way, it surely wasn't out of selfishness; it was something Zoro couldn't help, and if he couldn't, then Sanji wanted to help in his place.

"Chopper, go on," he whispered when Chopper hesitated.

"Feeling hopeless, feeling like there is a 'void' in their chest, persistent feelings of deep sadness, anxiety or 'empty' feelings, feeling worthless, recklessness, guilt, a loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities, lack of concentration, indecisiveness… uncontrollable self-destructive thoughts and an inability to stop reliving past hurts… risky behavior, self-harm, and… thoughts of suicide," Chopper finished with a whisper. He felt Sanji stiffen, and he hung his head low. Sanji's heart stopped. This couldn't be happening… Zoro… what?

"Ch-chopper that, that can't be possible… right? Right? Zoro… he wouldn't…" Sanji stuttered in disbelief. He couldn't even finish his sentence. Zoro wouldn't _think_ about… about suicide… right? He had his dream to keep him going. He had _them_, right? But… what if it became too much and he… What if…

"I don't know _what_ he's thinking, Sanji…" Chopper mumbled. "Zoro doesn't share any of this with us. We never even knew. If he suddenly became happier, I'd be on my guard, because it might not be because he's worked through his sadness. He may either be trying to bullshit us and make us think that he's just fine to throw us off his descending trail, or, he may just feel relieved if he's made up his mind to take his life."

Sanji thought he was going to pass out from the lack of air entering his lungs at this point. He could have sworn that his lung collapsed again. _'How could this be happening? How? Zoro is _that_ depressed? Zoro? Thinking and feeling these… miserable things? Depression? Zoro?'_

Sanji could barely compute all of what Chopper was telling him. His head was spinning in a downward spiral. '_What made him like that? How did he manage to hide it so well? What the fuck is wrong with me? I should have figured this out sooner. Oh God, Zoro… damn you… I love you so much… why is this happening to you?'_ Sanji's own heart felt hollowed out. What could he do to help? How could he let this happen…?

"Sanji." Chopper began, effectively pulling Sanji out of his downward spiraling thoughts.

"Hmm?"

"I need you to do me two favors. They're about Zoro. You have to promise me that you will do them. Please?" Chopper asked with the cutest expression he could do. Even without the face Sanji would have accepted. He would do anything at this point to help him.

"Sure, what is it?" He asked, trying not to sound too desperate.

"Can you help me with Zoro's therapy, and, could you keep this a secret from everyone else? I think Zoro wanted to keep this private, and it might upset him for others to know and fuss over him too much. We have to be gentle but firm, and respect his wishes above all else. He needs to trust us for us to be able to help even a little bit. Please, Sanji. Can you do this?"

"What?" Sanji breathed, his eyes widened and he nearly squished the little reindeer half to death until he got over his astonishment.

"You want me to what?" he asked again after he'd gained some control over himself. "You want _me_ to…"

"Help me with Zoro's therapy and keep Zoro's situation a secret," Chopper gasped when Sanji finally released him from his suffocating hug. Chopper saw Sanji's bewilderment and interrupted the cook before he could refuse. "I know it's a lot to take in all at once!" he squeaked, waving his hooves in the air to make Sanji listen. This seemed to work and calm down the cook for a moment, so Chopper continued. "Sanji, I can't talk to Zoro… You know how he hates to be seen by a doctor as if something's wrong with him, but you can help."

"How the fuck can _I _help Zoro, Chopper? I'm no doctor!" Sanji shouted in disbelief.

"He respects you, Sanji! Please, you have to do this!"  
Sanji was so confused and conflicted right now. Chopper needed _him_ to aid _Zoro_? Sanji wanted to help, but how could he!? What if he… said the wrong things and made everything worse? What if he pushed Zoro over the edge?!

Chopper silenced him again before he continued, "I need you to do it because no one else can." Sanji stayed silent and bore into the dark eyes that stared back. He knew Chopper must have had a pretty damn good reason to be saying this, so he shut up and listened.

"Luffy, Usopp and I are too young. _I_ definitely cannot confront him because I am just like his little brother. He would never tell me what's wrong. Would you tell your little brother these sorts of personal things, Sanji? You have to keep up a strong face so that they think everything is all right even when you feel so horrible!"

Sanji slowly shook his head. No, he wouldn't tell a little brother that he had a ton of shit going on in his head, even if his little brother was his doctor.

"See? When it comes to these sorts of things the patient has to be willing to participate. I sure as hell know that Zoro will not be willing to tell me anything." Chopper scowled at the sheets. Sanji knew it too. Zoro would never want to take any sort of treatment if he didn't have to or if he wasn't going to die if he didn't take the treatment. In addition, he would never want to worry Chopper or any of them for that matter.

"But, why do _I_ have to?" Sanji whispered. He would only make things worse. He knew it. Why did Chopper have to ask _him_ to confront Zoro?

"Because, again, Luffy, Usopp, and I are younger than Zoro. He wouldn't divulge anything to us. We are his younger brothers. Even Luffy, being the Captain, Zoro wouldn't be able to talk with him about it. Nami and Robin… He doesn't see them as weaker, exactly, but he would be extremely uncomfortable because they're women. They would sympathize with him too much. He just wouldn't be honest with them. They'd end up being his therapists rather than friends reaching out. We actually saw that when Robin was questioning him before. Anyways, I can't ask Franky or Brook because he would feel like he was being looked down upon since they are older men. You are the only one who he sees as an equal."

"_Equal?_" Sanji sputtered, "We're always at each other's necks! I'm the _worst_ choice, not the best! Don't just use process of elimination like that!"

"Fine, I'll use a different approach. You two are the same age, both men, both determined hardasses, and since you bring it up, you two have been getting along a hell of a lot better than before, so, it would be best if _you_ were the one to confront him, Sanji." Chopper took a breath, preparing himself to say what he needed to. "I need you to talk to Zoro about this. Whatever you and he had to argue about in the past, I need you to forget about it for the sake of the crew. We _can't_ lose Zoro."

Sanji was utterly flabbergasted. '_Damn Chopper and his damn good reasoning.'_ Sanji took a moment to calm himself down. He couldn't do shit if he were upset.

After he'd calmed down some, Sanji sat in contemplative silence taking in what he was just told, while Chopper pleaded to him with his eyes. Now that he had processed all of what Chopper had explained to him, the kid was right. Sanji was the only reasonable option to help Zoro. Zoro would react negatively to all of his other nakama. It wasn't that he wouldn't appreciate their care; he would just shut down and keep them out, not wanting to burden them or share his feelings, but _Sanji…_ Zoro just might find some comfort in Sanji.

'_If I could help Zoro… I would do just about anything.'_

"Chopper," Sanji sighed, startling the little reindeer. "Even if you hadn't asked me, I would've confronted him about it. Sorry, I know I'm probably the best one for the job right now. I was just… shocked… when you started telling me about all of this depression shit." Sanji sighed again as he ran a hand through his hair, rubbed his face and stopping to pinch the bridge of his nose.

It was true. As soon as that marimo came back, he was gonna' kick the doctor out and talk to him. He couldn't just sit by when the one he loved was suffering so much…

Hopefully there was an underlying cause or an event that they could talk out, because if it was just a depression with no real reason, Sanji wouldn't know what to tackle it, because _Zoro_ wouldn't know the reason either.

Chopper smiled and beamed at Sanji.

"Thank you, Sanji!" he squealed, throwing his hooves in the air. Sanji gave a small smile. Of course, he would help Zoro…

"I just need you to talk to him. That's it. Don't fight. I will try to come up with another procedure to aid in his treatment. I will also ask him to take anti-depressants. Oh, and before I forget, don't tell me anything he tells you, or anyone else for that matter. You know, patient's confidentiality and stuff. Even though I'm his doctor, just this once, I need you to build trust with him and make sure he knows that you won't tell anyone" Chopper instructed as he hopped off the bed, gathered the psychology book, his backpack and some other books on herbs. Sanji watched the reindeer move around and raised an eyebrow.

"I wasn't planning to tell anyone anyway. You could've used thumbscrews and I wouldn't have talked," Sanji stated. He honestly wasn't planning to. He wasn't even going to tell Chopper, their doctor, whatever the hell Zoro was going to probably tell him. He knew it would be hard for the marimo to divulge, seeing as he'd kept it secret on purpose, and if he finally decided to share some of it with Sanji, it was going to be something seriously personal.

Sanji blinked after he'd remembered that he'd thought the word 'probably'. _'Oh, shit, Zoro might not tell me what's wrong…'_

"Chopper, what if he decides not to talk to me? I mean, I understand why he has to talk to me. It's to get shit off his chest and things like that. But, he doesn't want to. He's kept this in on purpose. We're rivals. We've been rivals for ages and he wouldn't want to seem weak in front of me. What if he decides to not tell me?" Sanji coolly asked, which wasn't how he was feeling at all. He was _beyond_ distressed.

'_What if Zoro decided not to tell me? What will I do then? ...Holy shit, that fucking marimo just might not tell me anything! What the fuck should I do if that happens!? What if I fail? What if he just… What if… Shit!'_

Chopper paused in preparations and looked at Sanji.

"Calm down, Sanji. I'm sure he will tell you eventually if you keep gently persisting, but not pressuring him. Don't act like he '_has'_ to tell you. Just be a place that he can come to for comfort, be someone that will listen. Just talk to him and keep the option to talk to you open," he replied softly and smiled to his patient. Then, he shrugged on his blue backpack.

"I am going to go and develop a new medication for Zoro, and research more treatments for him. You decide how to go about talking to Zoro," Chopper informed, walking to the door, but then he stopped and turned back to Sanji.

"Sanji?"

"Hm?"

"I'll do my best!" He smiled. Sanji instantly felt more at ease. With Chopper, their extraordinary doctor, here, Sanji was sure that they could help Zoro. He smiled back at the reindeer.

"Oh, and you seem to be doing well too, so just keep resting! Don't you dare even think about moving!" Chopper shouted. "You never know! Zoro might just come to _you," _he said with a smug smile. Then, he left without even hearing Sanji's retort.

Sanji scowled at the door and mumbled an 'I couldn't move even if I wanted to…' to the sheets that he rested in.

"Damn… this is too much. Damn you, you fucking moss-ball… I love you, so don't suffer like this." Sanji whispered to himself as he slowly laid back down in the bed.

"Zoro…" Sanji mumbled as he readied himself for a nap. He really needed some rest to come up with the perfect way to confront that marimo. He closed his eyes, but right when sleep had almost claimed him, he heard heavy footsteps from above. Then, he heard doors being banged open. The noise was getting louder with each passing second.

Sanji's eyes shot open and before he could sit up again, Zoro had burst into the room.

"Sanji?"

: -:

"Yo! Zoro-bro! You're back!" Franky greeted, stopping his work on some sort of contraption. Zoro had just returned, and right now he was a man with a mission: He had to go see Sanji. That was the only thing he currently cared about. Nothing else. He barely even cared that Franky had just greeted him, but even devoid of emotion, Zoro still didn't see reason to be a jerk, so he greeted the older man.

"Hey, Franky," he began in a Zoro-like way as he made his way to the infirmary. "I lost the marines somewhere in that forest."

"Hey, Zoro?"

Zoro stopped just as he was about enter some door that lead to somewhere within the ship. Franky sounded calm, collected and contemplative, meaning he had something serious to ask Zoro.

"Hm?"

"Are you okay?"

Zoro looked over his shoulder to look at Franky. The cyborg had a relaxed but serious countenance.

Zoro sighed and turned back to Franky. He put on his false scowl as he crossed his arms and looked back at the older man.

"I'm fine. I was just going to go check up on something." With that, Zoro turned back around and stomped through the door behind him. Zoro ran from door to door in search of the infirmary. Zoro barged into every room and every time he opened a door he'd say the cook's name.

One door after the other Sanji's name fell with a soft mumble from a worried swordsman and got lost into the wind, only to be repeated again until he found him.

Then, not too long since he had begun his search, he'd found who he was looking for.

"Sanji?"


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

***Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece or any of its wonderful characters.  
A special thank you goes out to HadenxCharm, my wonderful beta-reader. Anyways, thank you so much for reading. Please enjoy!*  
****  
**

"Sanji?" Zoro whispered as he barged into the infirmary. His eyes darted to the bed and found a mop of blond hair peeking out from the covers, which were beginning to shuffle about.

"Zoro?" a tired voice mumbled through the sheets.

"Sanji," Zoro breathed as he closed the gap between them in several long hurried strides. Sanji propped himself up onto his elbows and found himself eye to eye with Zoro, who was already kneeling next to the bed. Their eyes met and lingered. Sanji felt his heart pound and his stomach do some acrobatics. He almost lost himself within those alluring, marimo green eyes. Almost.

"Zoro? What's up? Is something wrong?" he asked, stifling a yawn. Damn, he was just about to fall asleep and this bastard had to go and barge in here like some damn barbarian.

'… _Wait,'_ Sanji thought '_… Zoro is __**here**_. _I still need to talk to this lost marimo…_

_Damn it.'_

He barely had a plan on how to approach this guy. Well, fuck.

'_Guess I'll just go with my gut. I mean I can't fuck this up too badly… right?'_

A slight breeze brought Sanji back to reality, and he quickly realized that it wasn't a actually breeze that had pulled him out of his thoughts.

It was Zoro sighing. If Sanji was able to feel Zoro's sigh, then that must mean that he is closer to Sanji than he'd thought. Before he could get too flustered with the thought of how close Zoro was to him, he decided to distract himself with conversation.

"What are you sighing about, Baka-marimo?" Sanji mumbled as he rolled his eyes and looked back at him, finding something that he wasn't really expecting.

The moss-ball was smiling. He was fucking _smiling_, and he looked so cute and charming that Sanji's heart almost stopped. Sanji gawked at the smiling moss-ball and just barely heard him speak.

"Oh nothing, Shit-cook. I was just wondering if you'd managed to fall off the bed in your sleep or something." He chuckled as his smile morphed into that annoying, yet attractive smirk. This irked Sanji greatly. This stupid marimo was saying something so irritating while looking so good, damnit! He gritted his teeth and snarled.

"You know what? Fuck you, Shit-head. You left for like, what, four hours, and _now_ you show your ugly mug? You get lost or something?" Sanji growled as he glared at the smug moss-head.

"Oh? Were you worried about me, Shit-cook?" Zoro taunted as he ignored the 'getting lost' comment and let his smirk grow wider. Sanji was just about to lose his fucking marbles and bite the marimo's head off until his brain came up with something much better.

"Yeah, and I still am. Zoro, we need to talk. You don't have to say anything if you don't want to, just… at least listen to what I have to say, you asshole," Sanji confessed, looking to a stunned pair of green eyes, waiting for Zoro's response to his rather unexpected words. Zoro looked like he was paralyzed as he stared back at the chef in bewilderment.

After a short while, Sanji was just about to say something to snap Zoro back into reality, but Zoro moved first. He blinked several times, nodded, stood and went to the door. Just before Sanji yelled at him to get his ass back here, Zoro exceeded his expectations and closed the door.

Sanji slowly sat up as to not pop any of his stitches, but his eyes never left the marimo's slightly tense back.

Then, after a few more moments of silence, Zoro calmly grabbed that fucking chair and sat next to Sanji, but not once did he look him in the eye. It was almost like… he_ knew,_ and was resigning himself to his fate.

More moments of silence lapsed while Sanji tried to come up with something to say to start off his monologue. When he just drew a blank, he decided to just fuck it and start talking.

"Zoro, you know when Chopper, Robin, and I were telling you about the shit we noticed that was wrong with you?" Sanji didn't the give the moss-head any time to respond, nor did he even check to see if he was listening; he just rambled. Besides the marimo would probably just leave if he didn't want to listen to this.

"Well, Chopper was in here a little while ago and told me some… rather shocking news. Don't worry, only Chopper and I know about this, and… um, Zoro, he told me about a theory of his, and this theory is about what is probably wrong with you." Sanji paused and stole a glance at him. Zoro was just staring at the space between them; his eyebrows were slightly furrowed.

Sanji was just about to reach out to Zoro and cup his cheek in an effort to provide some sort of comfort, but he stopped himself. '_Fuck this, stop trying to beat around the bush and just go out and tell him what the fuck is up!'_ he harshly thought to himself before he continued.

"He told me that you may be suffering from… major depressive disorder… and, Zoro, if that's true, then you don't have to worry about me telling anyone. Before you say anything, I just wanna' say that no one but Chopper's gonna' hear about this, and I'm only gonna' tell him whether you have it or not, cause' he needs to know in order to figure out some shit to help you. Other than that, I won't say anything else to anyone. Ever. You have my word," Sanji stated as he gazed into Zoro's face. "You… If you're feelin' bad, you can share that shit with me, okay? It'll be just between us. I swear on my dream."

When he promised to not to tell anyone about whatever Zoro wanted to tell him, Zoro slowly looked up to meet his determined and honest deep blue eyes. Sanji didn't break the eye contact, continuing with gazing into his uncertain green eyes.

"But, Zoro, going back to Chopper's diagnosis, he gave some pretty convincing reasons as to why you may have depression. He said that you seemed to be having less interest in weight training and that you've started to eat and _sleep_ less. You're even losing weight and aren't gaining it back! He also said that those looks that you have when you look out to sea, that those are proof that you're feeling the emotional aspects of depression, like worthlessness, void, helplessness, hopeless, guilt…self-loathing... Zoro," Sanji paused in his monologue to drink in Zoro's slightly pained expression. He looked as if he had been caught doing something he wasn't supposed to be doing.

"I just don't want you to think that I'm pressuring you into confessing everything and start spilling your guts just because I asked. I'm not trying to be nosy, man, honest, I'm not. I… Just, tell me if you want to."

Sanji paused, thinking about how this lost marimo should know this shit. He should know that we, his nakama, Sanji himself, that they are all there for him. This thought made Sanji upset and angry, not just with Zoro for not relying on him but with himself too, for not spotting something _this_ important _sooner_.

"I know we fight and shit, but I hope you know that I am willing to listen to you and I am here to help, damnit! You fucking marimo! Making me worry and shit!" Sanji shouted, then exhaling in frustration as if to say, 'there, I said it'. He paused again to calm himself, his eyes still locked with Zoro's. The moss-head seemed to become less guilty and more intrigued by what Sanji was saying. Not that it disrupted the blonde as he caught his breath and continued, sticking with his plan of speaking the truth.

"You have to know that I won't judge you or think that you're weak, Zoro. I see you as my equal. You're also my nakama. If you need help, I'm here. Just… just keep that in your empty stupid mind, you fucking shithead," Sanji finished as he broke eye contact for the first time and sent a pained glare to his bed sheets. '_I also love you, you dumbass. So don't do this alone, damnit…'_

Sanji knew that Zoro didn't do anything _so wrong_ as to be suffering from something like severe depression, and it hurt him knowing this and that he couldn't do a damn thing other than to offer his support.

Silence invaded the room and lingered, and it became painfully clear to Sanji that Zoro hadn't said one word since he'd brought this whole thing up.

Sanji stole glances at Zoro and found that the swordsman was staring out the porthole and to a cloudless sky. He seemed to be contemplative, which exceeded Sanji's expectations, because he'd been thinking that the marimo would've continued to have that sullen look with his eyebrows slightly drawn together, the look that Sanji never wanted to see on this man's face ever again.

Then, Zoro broke the silence.

"Ne, Sanji?"

"Hm?" Sanji turned his head to the moss-head, who continued to look out the porthole, not even sparing him a glance.

"Would you believe me if I told you that I'm fighting a losing battle?"

This took Sanji aback, but his answer came instantly, he barely thought about it before he spoke.

"Yeah." If Zoro, Demon-Roronoa Zoro was admitting that he was losing a battle, then he was, and Sanji realized just how bleak things were, because that guy, _that_ Zoro _never_, absolutely _never_ gave up hope. He fought to the bitter end.

Zoro nodded at this, as if he'd expected that answer and continued to stare out the porthole. "Sanji?"

"Hm?"

"Would you believe me if I told you that I was losing _this_ battle?"

Sanji stared at the man in front of him and waited for him to look his way, and when he reluctantly did after a short while, Sanji caught his eyes with his own and said without a shadow of a doubt in his countenance or voice, "No."

Zoro seemed surprised with Sanji's utter confidence, but Sanji didn't let that sway his resolve and he continued before the moss-ball said anything else.

"Because if you were fighting a losing battle, the Roronoa Zoro I know would fuck the odds and come out victorious." Sanji smiled, taking in Zoro's expression of total astonishment at what Sanji had just said. With that, they sat in comfortable silence, thinking about what had just happened, until tremors occurred and the door flew open.

: -:

"Jiji! More food!" Luffy hollered as he gobbled the last bit of food on his plate.

"Really, Luffy? I'm just about to run out of food here. Besides this is your twentieth serving," Chie mumbled as he grabbed Luffy's plate to stack it with some more food.

When he gave the overactive straw-hatted boy his twenty-first plate of food, he moved back to the living room/bedroom to organize his bookshelf. He hasn't done that for a while now and it was looking a bit messy.

Listening to Luffy's eating in the background, Chie went to work and began to organize it. He was the type to just pull out a book, read it and then randomly place it back into the bookshelf, however he would clean it when books began to become hard to find due to the disorganization.

As he continued to pick up books and place them in alphabetical order, he stumbled across an old, thin, leather-bound book without a title. His eyebrows drew closer together as he looked at the book quizzically. _'I don't remember having a book without a title…'_

The old panda-like man decided it would be best to investigate and see what lay hidden within the book; how else was he supposed to solve this mystery?

Chie opened the book, read the first few pages and stood in absolute astonishment.

'_What in the world…?'_

: -:

"Here! Robin, the poneglyph is here!" Nami squealed in excitement as she led her nakama to a part of her dream.

"Yeah, if I remember correctly, it was in this area! Yohoho!" Brooke commented as he and Usopp brought up the rear of the group.

"Wow, it really is here…" Robin whispered in astonishment as she slowly walked up to it and brushed her fingertips on the cube. Her eyes were filled with wonder and excitement.

"What does it say?" Usopp asked with curiosity.

"Hold on, this will only take a minute. But before that, thank you guys for guiding me here," she said gratefully, pulling her gaze away from the cube to look at her present nakama present.  
"No problem, Robin." Nami smiled.

Robin smiled back and then directed all of her attention onto the poneglyph.

As she read, her smile faded and was ever so slowly replaced with dread and dark curiosity.

'_This… can't be…'_ the archeologist thought as she read what was written upon the cube.

"Robin, what it is? Is something the matter?" Brooke questioned.

'_This is about…_'

"Robin?" Nami piped up. Whatever could be wrong with their nakama?

'_No…'_ Robin re-read the cube three more times, just to be sure she wasn't imagining things.

"Oi, Robin," Usopp said, trying to regain the attention of their archeologist.

"… Oh, no…" Robin mumbled to herself. _'This is about… the legend… and the weapons…'_

: -:

"Yo! Zoro-bro, Sanji-bro!" Franky bellowed as he barged into the room, startling the two.

"Oh, hey Franky what's up?" Zoro asked after he quickly recovered from the small shock and removed his hand from the hilt of one of his katana, realizing that it wasn't an enemy.

"I need your help to move that gadget I've been working on to my workshop," Franky replied, unaware of the rather serious talk the two had just exchanged and had interrupted. Zoro sighed and stood.

"Sure," he replied and began to trudge out the door behind Franky until Zoro felt something wrap around his hand and pulled back.

Zoro's eyes widened slightly and looked back to see a determined Sanji holding his hand to keep him from leaving. Zoro's face flared up and he froze. After a few moments of silence, Sanji seemed to have noticed that he'd just grasped Zoro's hand and jerked his hand back and turning his head away, trying to cover the blush that invaded his face. After a few more awkward moments, Sanji gathered himself, willed the blush away and turned to stare straight into Zoro's eyes.

"Just think about it, okay, Baka-marimo?"

Zoro stared back into those oceanic eyes. After several hesitant moments Zoro nodded. Upon seeing the marimo nod, Sanji smiled a gentle and relieved smile. Zoro's traitorous face flushed again and he turned around before the blonde saw it.

"Later," Zoro grunted and before Sanji said his farewells, Zoro walked out of the room and shut the door.

"Baka-marimo. Making me worry and shit," Sanji mumbled with that smile still on his face as he slowly lowered himself so that he could finally get a damn nap.

: -:

"Thanks, Zoro-bro!" Franky said as he guided Zoro back to the deck.

"Hm? Yeah, no problem, Franky," Zoro replied distractedly as he stared at the floorboards. Franky turned his head to look at the swordsman, who seemed to be in deep contemplation.

"Hey, Zoro?"

"Hm?" Zoro tore his eyes from the floor and looked up at a serious Franky.

"Are you sure everything is okay? You seem kind of off. What did you and Sanji talk about?" Franky questioned in that serious tone he has been using quite often now.

Zoro stared at the cyborg in front of him and morphed his expression to make it one of his well-known scowls.

"Yeah, don't worry about me. I'm fine. That shitty-cook was just having a one-sided conversation and said some pretty strange things." It wasn't _lying_, so Zoro didn't feel as guilty as normal.

"Strange things?" Franky's countenance turned from serious to curious.

"Yeah, nothing to be too concerned with though. He just needed to get some shit off his chest." Zoro kept up his scowl so then he could get the point across that everything was fine. Though he was feeling rather… touched and transparent after that exchange with the cook.

Franky nodded.

"Okay, then. Since everything seems super, I'm going to be heading back to work on that contraption. Later!" And before Zoro even squeezed in a 'later' in return, Franky had already left the swordsman on the deck to his lonesome.

'_Oh well. Now I can grab some sake that we got from this island, go into the crow's nest and think about this new predicament that I'm faced with,'_ Zoro thought as he managed to find his way to the galley.

After taking five bottles of sake, he carried out his plan and went to the crow's nest. Zoro settled himself on the couch and looked out the window to the never-ending sea.

Popping open one of the sake bottles, he took a large gulp, letting the liquid burn his throat for what seemed to be the one-thousandth time. Then, lowering the bottle and letting it rest on his knee he returned his empty gaze to the sea and allowed his thoughts to take over.

'_Damn that curly-brow. Saying all of that nice shit. Being all _cute_ and shit... Damnit! The fuck are you trying to do to my head, giving me hope like that?' _Zoro took another swing of his sake, letting the liquor burn away his more petty thoughts to make way for more important ones.

'_So, that's what they think is wrong with me: Depression… severe depression… After hearing those reasons and knowing the emotional symptoms… I think… Shit! Damnit… I really do have this, don't I…? Some great pirate-hunter I turned out to be, taken down by something like this,'_

Zoro felt that god-forsaken void try to suck in whatever remained in his chest. That fucking cursed ocean surrounded him and invaded him once again; it suffocated him, it tried to drown him, make his lungs burn with the sensation of water filling them.

'_It just never ends. These g-d damned emotions only cease when __**he's**__ here… every second, every minute, every hour, every day, this just never ends…!'_ Zoro drained the first bottle, snatched the second, and drained that one too. He reached for the third and looked out to the unforgiving sea.

'_To think, the great Roronoa Zoro is fighting major depressive disorder. Ha! I'm so pathetic… After all this time, I haven't gotten stronger; I've just stayed in the same place. Never moving forward or backwards. Just standing in the same fucking spot like I was about two to three years ago when Luffy found me. On that damn execution spot.'_ Zoro gulped down the third sake bottle in an attempt to wash away that line of thinking to make way for more pressing matters. He reached for the fourth bottle, popped it open, and took a swing at it.

'_Should I tell Sanji about this and what happened in my past? Should I open up to him? He seemed like he wasn't trying to mess with me, he seemed sincere… but can I actually divulge everything to him? He said I didn't have to, but for him to understand anything, he'll have to know the story from the very beginning… I didn't see it until he'd mentioned the whole depression shit, but, while Franky was guiding me back to the deck I realized I really do have depression and everything in my mind clicked: The things that led up to this are now clear to me. I understand why I'm like this now, but goddamnit, why?! Why am I not strong enough to overcome this?! Shit…'_ Zoro chugged the rest of the fourth sake and reached for his last bottle.

'_Anyways, the problem still stands; should I tell him? I mean, our relationship has improved but can I really tell him? It's not that I don't think I can trust him with my secrets… but can I really lay myself bare before him? Can I really be vulnerable and tell him about myself, my past, my thoughts, my feelings, this thing that's been haunting me for years? This thing called depression? Can I really get myself to do that?'_ Zoro gulped down the rest of his last bottle and stared out to the open blue sea. He felt the corners of his mouth turned down slightly, his eyebrows were drawn, and his eyelids felt heavy.

He loosely held onto his empty sake bottle and continued to look out to sea as if it was going to give him all the answers to his questions.

But they were just waves. It was the same thing he always thought when that water was rising up above his head and swallowing him whole. They were just waves.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

***Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece or any of its wonderful characters.  
**

**A special thank you goes out to HadenxCharm, my wonderful beta-reader. Anyways, thank you so much for reading. Please enjoy!***

"Oi, Robin, what's wrong?" Usopp asked with a sense of urgency. Her silence and her horrified countenance were extremely unsettling, since this was Robin and she was hardly ever disturbed by anything. In fact, she really seemed to _enjoy_ disturbing things most of the time.

"This … this can't be true," she muttered as her hand rose to cover her mouth. She couldn't believe what she'd just read… It couldn't be true…

"Robin," Nami called, trying to grab the attention of her nakama. However, Robin just ignored her. She was still trying to get over her shock. The poneglyph was about the legend Chie had spoken about, but…

'_Why?'_ Robin thought as she slowly pulled herself out of her astonishment and directed her distracted gaze to the ground before her. _'This poneglyph is about that legend Chie-san told me about… but it also states… those weapons' names…'_

"Robin," Brooke called in hopes that Robin would snap out of her trance.

'_But…'_ Robin continued as slowly as possible, within the confinements of her head, so then she wouldn't slip back into shock again.

"Robin… Robin," Nami began to chant, worried that her nakama was lost within her head.

'_Why does Zoro have to be a victim…?'_ Robin inwardly questioned as she lifted her gaze to the large cube before her. She re-read the cube for what seemed to be the one-hundredth time, still in slight shock as to what was written. Inscribed on the cube was a short summary about a king and his treasured weapons, along with a list of these weapons… and one of these weapons was a sword she's known about for a long time.

"Robin!" Usopp shouted in fright due to her silence, but Robin didn't hear him. She couldn't tear her eyes from the name of one weapon that was listed.

'_Sandai Kitetsu'_

: -:

'_What in the world?'_ Chie thought in astonishment as he read the thin nameless book. _'This's about… that legend that Robin wanted to know about… When did this get here?'_

Chie continued reading and stopped when he made an astounding discovery.

Chie turned to Luffy with a rather serious and somewhat worried countenance and questioned the young lad. "Luffy, where's your ship?"

Luffy glanced up at the old man from his food and continued to eat.

"Why? What's up Jiji?" he asked with his mouth full and in a slightly interested manner.

"I've found something that Robin wants to know. I found more information about that legend, and I need to get to her and tell her about it," the old man said with purpose.

Luffy stopped his eating to stare into the old man's determined eyes.

"Well, if you're in that much of a rush, then," the straw-hatted young man paused to gulp down the rest of his food, then continuing, "let's go get-" A large thumping from the door interrupted him.

"Oh? Well, who can _that_ be?" Chie grumbled as he began to trudge to the door.

"Wait! Jiji!" Luffy shouted as he lunged for Chie. He grabbed the old man and leaped out of the way right as the door blew off it hinges and into the kitchen. Luffy set the old man down and glared at the marines who'd just burst through the door.

"Aw, my door. How am I supposed to fix _that_?" Chie mumbled as he clutched the thin book, trying to be calm in this absurd situation. Luffy on the other hand leaped at the handful of marines that had spilt into the small home, effortlessly knocking them out in one punch. Chie stood in slight shock as he witnessed the young goofy pirate skillfully defeat one opponent after another. However, marines kept spilling into the small house and Chie wondered just how many marines were outside of his home.

"Jiji!" Luffy yelled as he punched another marine's face in.

"What?" Chie asked as he pulled himself out of his thoughts.

"I'll fight through these guys, and then we'll head to the ship!" Luffy declared as he kicked the hoard of marines through the hole where the door had been.

"Okay!" Chie shouted over the noise as he ran over to Luffy, who had just cleared the house with that last kick. Then, when the two looked out through that large hole, they realized that this task wasn't as simple as they had hoped. There were a vast number of marines in their path. There were even marines in the forest, since there was no more room in the clearing for another soul.

"Well," Chie started in a rather monotonous manner.

"This is gonna be great!" Luffy exclaimed as he cracked his knuckles with a playful smile on his boyish face.

"Luffy, it seems that there are more marines in the forest. Moreover, I'm too old to fight, so you're on your own," Chie stated in a matter-of-fact way. Luffy looked down at the old man, rubbed his chin with his hand in a thinking manner and hummed.

"This may take longer than I thought," Luffy wondered as he redirected his gaze to the massive amount of enemies before him.

"Yup," Chie agreed.

"Oh well!" Luffy shouted as he launched himself at his first victim.

"Don't worry, Jiji! I'm gonna' get you to the ship in no time!" Luffy declared as he used his 'gatling gun' attack and knocked out a portion of marines; a portion that was quickly replaced with more enemies.

'_Yup,_' Chie thought as he witnessed this event take place. '_This is gonna take __**much**__ longer than I had anticipated._'

The sun was already setting, and Chie sat on his couch, wondering just how long this was going to take. Every time Luffy knocked someone out, another man filled that space.

'_This is gonna take __**a lot**__ longer than I had originally thought._'

: -:

"We have to get going," Robin said with urgency and firmness as she began to walk swiftly back to the ship. She didn't wait for her present nakama to follow, she needed to get to Zoro, Sanji, or Chopper and tell them about this legend; one of them may be able to fit the pieces together and finally figure out what exactly was wrong with the swordsman.

"Why? Robin, what did you read?" Nami questioned as she briskly followed her upset nakama.

"Yeah, Robin. What exactly has gotten you so shaken up?" Brooke questioned in a serious tone, also following the women along with Usopp.

"I can't explain right now. I need to hurry. Moreover, it isn't my place to tell anyone other than the ones involved," Robin said shortly. It really wasn't her place to say anything, because if she were to elaborate in what she'd just read, she would have to explain the importance of this legend and what it was connected to. That meant that she would have to tell them about what was wrong with Zoro, and how this legend was connected to whatever Zoro was dealing with right now and that was something private. Only Zoro had the right to tell information about himself with others, Robin had no right to talk about Zoro's private matters. Considering how hard Zoro had pushed her and Chopper out of his business, she knew better than to betray what little trust he had left in her.

"Well, okay. If you say so." Usopp shrugged, accepting that kind of explanation.

Robin flashed Usopp a smile as a small 'thank you' for the understanding, and then continued to the Sunny. That is, until something gray that lined the trees caught the corner of her eye.

"Brooke! Look out!" Robin shouted as she swirled around. That gray thing that she had spotted along the trees darted out and tried to stab the skeleton, but said skeleton jumped out of the way in the nick of time.

"What is that?!" Brooke shouted as he landed next to Robin and Nami.

"Smoke?" Nami questioned as she stared at the substance. Then, once the gray substance started to take form, the remaining straw-hats knew what, or rather _who_, it was immediately.

"Smoker!" Usopp shrieked in terror as he shook in his boots and stared at the knife that the upper half of the logia user's torso held, for the lower half remained as smoke.

"What is that mark on his forehead? I'm sure he's never had that before," Robin wondered as she stared at the strange mark, as if she were trying to decipher it.

"There's no time for that Robin!" Nami shouted in fear. "We need to get away from him! None of us uses haki! We can't beat him!"  
Smoker decided to stop waiting for his enemies to figure out what to do and launched himself at the closest person to him, that person being Usopp, who was glued to the ground in horror.  
"Usopp!" Robin yelled as she got into position to use her powers. As quickly as she could, she made her feet blossom from underneath Usopp's own feet and made him jump out of the way just before Smoker could stab him through the heart.

"Usopp! Are you okay?" Brooke shouted as he unsheathed his sword.

"Yeah, I'm fine! Thanks, Robin!" Usopp hollered at his concerned nakama.

"You're welcome, Usopp. Now, let's escape, since we can't really fight him," Robin said in a matter of fact tone.  
"Yeah! Let's go!" Nami shouted as she began to run in front of the group. However, Smoker had other ideas. He turned into smoke and darted in front of the navigator, blocking the path to the ship. Then, without any sort of dialogue or warning he lunged at her with a knife. Fortunately, she was fast enough and jumped out of the way, however Brooke just happened to be right behind her. Without any time to react, he was unable to evade the knife.

"Brooke!" Nami and Usopp yelled in unison while Robin stared in wide-eyed horror.

Brooke gasped in pain and slumped, only being held up with the knife. Smoker smiled in pure sadism as he watched the skeleton suffer and go limp, and just before he tilted the knife to let the skeleton fall, he was met with the unexpected. Brooke stood up, laughed his trademark laugh, pulled himself out of the knife, and strolled past the vice-admiral.

"Like that knife will work on me! I'm just bones! I have no flesh or organs for you to stab into! Yohohohoho! That just went through my rib cage!" Brooke laughed.

His nakama stood dumbfounded and felt rather idiotic. Of course the knife wouldn't actually hurt him if it didn't cut through his bones.

"Oh," Brooke continued, grabbing the attention of everyone present. "And, I've already cut you." Brooke finished as he fully sheathed his sword, causing a seemingly spontaneous gash to go across Smoker's visible torso. The vice-admiral let out a cry of pain and the remaining smoke gathered together to complete his body.

"Good job, Brooke! Let's go while he's down!" Usopp yelled.

Nami, Robin, and Brooke gave curt nods and bolted past Smoker and towards their ship. Though, they didn't get too far until the logia user decided to continue to give chase, causing the group to go off course so that they wouldn't lead their enemy to the Sunny.

"Let's lead him away from the Sunny! Stick together in case he catches up! We can't fight him alone!" Nami hollered at her fleeing nakama.  
"Yeah!" the rest shouted as they ran for their lives.

"It's already getting dark. I hope everyone else is okay. Zoro…" Robin breathed as she ran with her nakama. After about five minutes of running, the group stumbled to a halt to catch their breath since they seemed to have lost the assailant.

"Hey! Guys! There's a cave over there! Let's hide in there!" Usopp managed to suggest in between breaths. Nodding tiredly, the remaining straw-hats stumbled into the near-by cave the sharpshooter had pointed out. Then, five minutes later, Smoker wandered near the cave the small group had just taken shelter in. The vice-admiral lingered in the area for a bit, but after a short while, he wandered away to search some more for the pirates. Once he was gone, the group had a meeting on what to do.

"Let's stay here 'till morning. It's already late and Smoker's a persistent dude. He's gonna' stay in the area for a while," Nami concluded. Usopp, Brooke and Robin all nodded in agreement and settled down for the night

: -:

"Zoro, can you help me wash the dishes?" Sanji asked placidly as he walked to the sink piled with dirtied crockery. Zoro grunted, took his place next to Sanji, and soon the two had gotten into a soothing rhythm of washing, passing, and drying the dishes. The relaxing rhythm they had set caused Sanji to recall what had happened earlier that day and get lost within his thoughts.

After Sanji's nap, he'd felt better, better than he'd felt since the incident. When Chopper came back to the ship for dinner, Sanji was awake and the little doctor assessed the cook and swordsman before they ate.

Both men were healing quickly due to new types of medicine that Chopper had found on this island, and Zoro gotten his stiches off, while Sanji was able to walk on his own again, provided a shin splint of course. However, Sanji still needed to take it easy and still needed help around the ship, since his stiches were still in; he still wasn't back to full strength yet.

Though, according to Chopper, Sanji'd gotten over the smoke inhalation, his ribs and right tibia were healing faster than they should, his organs were functioning properly, his torn muscle tissue was healing up nicely, and his bullet wound was practically healed since it had been a clean shot and the wound hadn't gotten infected. The only injuries that were giving him trouble were the stab wounds; hence the stitches, and the annoying ache of his ribs and tibia.

Nevertheless Sanji's still grateful. Without Chopper's medical expertise, Sanji would be dead, and if he had been lucky and managed to maintain life, he wouldn't be healing as efficiently as he was. Sanji had always recovered faster than the average male, but with all of these wounds, he would be healing slower than usual. Overall, Sanji was recovering nicely thanks to the brilliant Dr. Chopper of the seas and the miraculous medicines that this seemingly peaceful island produced.

"Oi, Cook," Zoro called, trying to pull Sanji back into reality as he continued to dry the dishes handed to him.

"Hmm," the cook hummed, slowly drawing his attention to the marimo.

"Are you sure you should be moving around? I know that Chopper _reluctantly_ gave you the okay, but," Zoro huffed as he finished drying a plate and placed it in a stack of other clean plates. "Because of all of those wounds, it'll take longer to heal, even _with_ the new medicine Chopper'd found."

"Oh? Are you worried about me, Marimo?" Sanji half mocked as he handed Zoro a cleaned butter knife. He sort of hoped that the marimo was worried about him, but not in that nakama kind of way. All the same, he didn't let himself hope too much, since he knew he would just be met up with disappointment.

"Not really…" Zoro mumbled, scowling slightly and redirecting his attention to drying the knife. This took Sanji aback. He'd thought that Zoro would have shouted at him, saying that he would never, _ever_ worry about Sanji and then go on to say something insulting. Even though they had a new kind of friendship, that didn't mean that they don't still try to annoy the crap out of each other. So this kind of response from the swordsman was rather unexpected.

"Eh? You sure, Moss-head?" Sanji pressed in a mocking manner, letting his hope rise for just a bit, despite himself.  
"Sanji," Zoro said with a sigh as he set the dried butter knife down. This caught Sanji's undivided attention within a matter of seconds. Zoro seemed serious about this, which was beyond Sanji's expectations, so of course he was going to take in as much as he could.

"You need to rest. As soon as you were cleared to leave the infirmary, you went and whipped up a feast for just the four of us. Now you're washing the dishes. Putting a lot of strain on yourself is going to make your full recovery come at an even slower pace," Zoro said bluntly as he put the rag next to the pile of cleaned dishes and crossed his arms. Sanji was caught within those attractive green eyes and felt his heart flutter. So, Zoro _was_ worried about him. Sanji didn't need Zoro to tell him, it was evident enough since Zoro never seemed to show this kind of interest in Sanji until a short while ago. Sanji gave Zoro a small surprise himself. He smiled gently at the swordsman, causing said swordsman to gape slightly and widen his eyes.

"I'm fine, Zoro. What I _need_ is to do something productive. Besides, you helped me with dinner and you're helping me wash the dishes, Baka-marimo," Sanji replied as he turned back to the sink, still wearing that gentle smile. Zoro stood still for a few moments, and just before Sanji was gonna make a snarky comment about the marimo's brain malfunctioning since he wasn't getting back to the dishes, he felt something warm on his shoulder. Sanji quickly turned to face Zoro and found that he probably shouldn't have. The marimo was so _damn_ _cute_. His eyebrows were drawn together, his lips were pursed, he had the faintest of blushes upon his high cheekbones and he kept glancing away from Sanji, he kept breaking the eye contact between the two. Sanji _almost_ had a fucking nose bleed 'cause of this damn adorable idiot. He felt his face heat up, and those damned butterflies were really trying to burst out of his stomach.

"Look, just rest. I know you're gonna' keep on working until you run yourself into the ground. And I guess I'm… a little worried 'bout you…" Zoro mumbled with a small scowl and his blush never disappearing, and as he said this he looked straight into Sanji's eyes. Sanji felt the heat on his face intensify, and his heartbeat accelerated in his chest. Zoro _never_ said these kinds of things. Ever. What's gotten into him?

"Uh, um," Sanji struggled to come up with something, _anything_, to say. What do you say to your charming crush that was concerned about you other than 'Can I kiss you already? It'll make me feel a hell of a lot better.'

"Fine. I'll go rest… after I'm done with the dishes." Sanji sighed as he turned back to the sink; his blush persisted.

He heard a grunt come from the swordsman and they went back into their serene silence, back into that soothing rhythm of washing and drying crockery. Sanji took this opportunity to calm himself the fuck down. He let his heartbeat return to normal, let his blush fade, and tried his best to tame the wild butterflies within him.

Damn, Zoro had an effect on Sanji that the moss ball wasn't even aware of. Sanji tried to clear his head of all thoughts about the handsome man next to him and focus on washing the damn dishes, but he was failing miserably. Once they were done, Sanji made Zoro promise to finish up the cleaning and went straight to bed. He couldn't have the marimo around him any longer unless he wanted to give the man a fucking heart attack by kissing him.

Once Sanji'd settled himself in his hammock, he noticed the lack of noise within the boy's room. Usually Luffy, Chopper, Usopp, Franky, Brooke, and Zoro would be snoring for anyone within a ten-mile radius to hear them loud and clear. However, Franky was the only one sleeping in his respective hammock and Zoro was still washing the dishes. Chopper had decided to go to the inn - which the crew had designated as the inn those who weren't guarding the ship were staying at - by himself since it was closer to the library and he said he would tell everyone who was at the inn that everything at the ship was 'SUPER!' as Franky had put it.

Now however, with the low volume of snoring and without the drug-induced exhaustion, Sanji was having a bit of trouble sleeping. So he lay there in his hammock, lost within the confinements of his head, and unfortunately for him, his brain was covered with marimo. Zoro was trapped within his head and had managed to get lost in there. Sanji couldn't even direct the moron to the exit of his mind.

'_Why am I so… __**attracted**__ to him? Why do I love him? Even though I'm pretty sure I __**know**__ why… __**why**__? __**Why him**__. Why did I have to fall in love with a directionless moron who has green hair, shitty swordsmanship, and…'_ Sanji trailed off on that thought as he shuffled around under his blanket. Once he situated himself and became somewhat comfortable, Sanji stared at the hammock above him and continued with his thoughts.

'_Can I love someone who is depressed? Well, a better way to phrase that question is, will that depressed person let me love them? It's not like I __**chose**__ if I fall in love. I mean, look at whom I fell in love __**with**__. No, I didn't choose who I love, but will he let me love him? Wait, I don't even know if he's depressed or not… he still hasn't told me. Besides, I'm sure as hell that Zoro would never let me love him regardless. For fuck's sake, I need to get a hold of myself. I need to remember that this love is unrequited._'

Sanji shuffled again, carefully turning to lie on his side so as to achieve comfort and not pull his stitches. When he felt himself become comfortable once again, he also felt sleep slowly come upon him as the day's fatigue caught up. As he let his heavy eyelids shut, his last thought was of the marimo smiling his brilliant smile underneath a warm sun and a vivid sky. It hurt him to imagine that even under such a beautiful sky, Zoro might only see rainclouds.

'_I love you, Zoro, don't do this alone._'

And with that, Sanji fell into a dreamless slumber.

: -:

'_That damned love-cook,_' Zoro thought as he finished up the dishes and started to whip down the counters and table.

'_Ever since he woke up from his nap, he's been working 'till I forced him to leave! Damn him, making me worry and shit!_' Zoro slammed the rag in his hand down onto the table, scrubbing it with more force than necessary.

'_He was also really cute today… He said he was going to make us a small feast since it was just the four of us when I questioned him what the fuck he was doing when he barged in on me as I was making dinner. He had a stunningly gorgeous smile and the setting sunlight through the porthole shone on his hair and made the already golden locks shine in even more beautiful ways. His eyes glimmered in wonderful shades of blue and his dark blue shirt and black skinny jeans fitted his sexy body so well I thought I was gonna lose it and kiss the fuck outta him if I was within a foot's radius of him… goddamnit._' Zoro paused in his cleaning to address the problem that had arisen in his head.

'_I'm doing it again. I remembered every detail of that moment. I still remember how elegant his long pale fingers were as he cooked and I noticed the small shimmies of his hips as he stirred pots. Watching Sanji cook is like watching a dance. He moved with such ease and grace… shit. I'm getting caught up again._' Zoro sighed. He put the rag away in its respective drawer and sat in one of the bar stools in front of the counter after grabbing a bottle of sake.

'_He'll never love me,_' he thought flatly, with as little emotion as he could as he popped the sake open and took a swig. Instead of feeling like waves were trying to drown him, he felt hollow. Just hollow. _Extremely_ hollow; like something or someone had scooped out all of Zoro's insides and only left the outer layer of his skin to rot.

'_It's a fact. No matter how much I love him, he'll never notice me. Who I am is not good enough. I'll never be good enough. I'm just a goddamned coward. I'm no good. I'm horrible. I have no redeeming qualities. What is there to love about me? I'm just a lazy drunkard who's simple-minded and is a dumbass. I'm good with a blade, but that's no good in his eyes unless I could chop food. He'll never acknowledge me_' Zoro took another gulp of his sake, feeling the heavenly liquor scorch his throat for the millionth time.

'_I'm just a bastard. I can barely stand __**myself**__. How can someone come to love a __**thing**__ like __**me**__?_' Zoro shook his head and took another swig of his sake, letting the liquid clear away his depressive thoughts to make way for new ones. He let the liquor whisk away the thoughts that were killing him from within.

'_I wonder where the rest of the crew is? Only Chopper had come back to the ship today… They must be causing havoc… as per usual. Well, until they come, I plan on staying here. I need to make sure Sanji doesn't push himself._' With that, Zoro finished his sake and left for the crow's nest to take the first watch of the night.

When Zoro settled himself on the couch, he looked out to the ocean. He wondered why those waves hadn't come to drown him as he watched the starry night and felt absolutely empty as the scenery played out before his jaded eyes.

He didn't know if it was better to feel extreme pain or absolutely nothing. He blinked dully once or twice and let that thought run through him over and over.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

***Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece or any of its wonderful characters.  
A special thank you goes out to HadenxCharm, my wonderful beta-reader. Anyways, thank you so much for reading. Please enjoy!***

'_Shit,'_ Zoro thought as he slowly woke from his slumber. Apparently sometime during the night, he'd fallen asleep. He let out a world-weary sigh as he rubbed his face with a hand and realized the time - according to the alignment of the sun - it was about seven in the morning. How was he supposed to make sure Sanji was okay if he was taking a nap? Even though he would usually just wake up raring to go and decapitate some fuckers, he hadn't been sleeping well for a quite a while, so he wasn't sure if he would be able to wake up if trouble decided to pay them a visit.

'_Damn it, can I really protect the ones I love?_' Zoro thought with a sense of worthlessness as he slowly sat up and looked out to the blue ocean to see nothing but waves, all of which reminded him of the insufferable yet sexy chef's glorious eyes.

'_Fuck, I'm falling apart, aren't I? I'm losing it. I'm slipping.'_

There he was, his thought pattern spiraling downward further and further, still thinking about those beautiful eyes, but then, he remembered an unresolved predicament he'd gotten himself into, that of which involved those oceanic, determined, blue eyes and the person who possessed them.

He still hasn't decided if he was going to tell Sanji about his… depression. Just thinking about opening up about it made his stomach churn.

'_Shit,_' he thought again. '_What the fuck do I do…?... Should I… Lie to him? Say that I'm fine?_' As soon as he considered that, he immediately shot the idea down. Sanji would know it was bullshit, for one. For two, Zoro felt like lying would be admitting that this was something worth hiding, that this was something disgusting and shameful that needed to be kept secret.

'_What? No, I shouldn't lie about something like this...! I can't let this _depression_ make me into something even more pitiable and worthless! Besides, I'm Roronoa Zoro! I'm supposed to be honorable and honest! That's who I am! Isn't it?!_' Zoro thought harshly, mentally slapping himself as he gritted his teeth. Then he paused as his thoughts continued.

'_Ha. Yeah, right. I've been lying, acting, for a long time now. It's a little too late to be thinking that I'm 'honest and honorable'. That's authentic bull shit right there… Anyway… going back to the problem at hand… What should I tell him…? Should I divulge everything to him? He said he wouldn't think of me as weak. He said that… I was his equal. But I can't help but think otherwise… He's gonna' think that I'm a pathetic bastard… isn't he? He's just gonna' think that I'm fuckin' shitty, mental, emotional, wretched, cowardly, pitiable… Shit. Why does this have to _happen_? Why am I no good? Why am I so _pathetic_? Why can't I _fight_ this? Am I not strong enough? Shit, I even feel _fucking guilty_ for feeling things like _fucking sorrow_! ... I mean I'm so lucky. People who love me surround me, I do what I love, and I chase my dreams. _Why_ can't I _revel_ in _thatbliss_?! Why am I so fucking _ungrateful_?! Can't I be happy? Can't I be content with all of those things I'm gifted with…?_'

Zoro lifted his forlorn gaze to a bright blue sky spotted with fluffy white clouds that drifted lazily along. His emotions were a strange yet woeful mix of emptiness and a great deal of dejection that dwelled within his sunken heart. Even so, he was oblivious of the trembling that his cursed katana seemed to be doing whenever he was lost within his melancholy thoughts.

'_Isn't it my own fault that the guilt and the shame loom over me… that they consume me?_' Zoro thought absentmindedly as he stared blankly at the sky.

'_How can I be strong enough to deal with this feeling of complete hollowness? How can I be strong enough to swim above the waves that try to drown me? Its not like there's some sort of fucking training I can do to make this go away. Meditation doesn't help… I don't know what else there could be that would work._'

Zoro dropped his gaze to his calloused hands. His mix of emotions strained away thanks to the recent thoughts, and now, he was only left with one emotion: desolation.

He felt so empty. It was as though the void in his chest succeeded in sucking in everything that he was. It was as though Zoro was trying to grab onto his cherished katana, Wadou Ichimonji, but it was just out of reach, so he was left to clench the air. He was defenseless against this desolation within him. The emptiness was so intense that he found himself longing to feel an absolute flat, neither high nor low, just so that he didn't have to feel empty; he would just feel indifferent to everything.

'_What am I going to do with myself? Should I continue to live a lie and pretend that I'm okay? Should I revoke my nakama's right to worry about me and tell them that they're just imagining things? Or should I tell Sanji the truth and leave myself vulnerable? Maybe… Maybe it might help to let some of it out and tell one person, just one… but, what if that just makes it worse, giving myself another weak spot? Ugh, what am I gonna' do with myself? Can… Can I live with myself if I don't tell him anything? Can I live with myself if I _do_ tell him everything?_' Zoro clenched his fist so hard that he drew blood, even with his short nails, but he didn't notice, for he was too lost within his head.

'_How can I contemplate on whether I should tell the truth or not, again? … How can I not consider whether I should tell the truth or if I should lie? If I tell the truth, then I'm just going to cause unrest amongst my nakama; all I'll be doing is making them worry about me. Even if it was only Chopper and Sanji that was going to worry… I can't have that... I can't live with that… The knowledge of making someone worry about me already eats away at me, and I haven't even decided on what to do yet. But, if I lie and say I'm fine and that I don't need help… What'll happen? Will Sanji trust me ever again? He'll know I'm lying… If his little group figured out what was fucking wrong with me, even when _I_ didn't know what was wrong with me, then they can certainly figure it out... They'll eventually figure out that I lied and that I'm not okay. Then they'll up the guns and try to make me spill it, and we might have a falling out… something as bad as that time with Usopp and the Merry… Damn, I can't let that happen. If they find out that way, won't that just make them even more worried? Or will they just lose their faith in me? Or… Would they worry _and_ lose faith? If I lie and somehow manage to pull off the acting this time… then couldn't I avoid all of that fretting? If I do that… then I'll have to live a fucking lie _again_… Can I live with that?_' Zoro shifted his tired eyes to the forsaken ocean once again.

'_Damn. I'm pathetic. I'm so _weak_. To think that I _have_ to consider lying to my nakama… If I were stronger then I wouldn't _have_ to think about any of this shit! ... Fuck…_' Zoro gritted his teeth, put his head in his hands, – unbeknownst to him that there was blood on them, causing red and green to mix - and placed his elbows on his knees as he tugged on his hair in frustration.

What was he supposed to do? Was he willing to fake his whole fucking life? This decision was everything. It took whatever life was left within the young desolate swordsman. Even though, it wasn't like it was the first time he'd made this decision, his experience didn't make this decision any less difficult than the first time he'd made it.

Kitetsu shook fiercely besides him, yet he paid no mind to it. He kept searching for an answer within his head, but he was fruitless in his search and became lost; he couldn't find a way out of his head and was quickly entangled in his torturous thoughts.

'I'm wretched_. And I _hate_ it. I detest what I've become. Honorable? Honest? Complete _bullshit_. I decided to lie about my feelings long ago. But now? What the fuck am I to do in this situation? When I made the decision before, they knew nothing, but now? I've been _exposed_. I was found out, and even though I didn't know what was exactly wrong with me, that doesn't excuse the fact that I was willing to live a lie and die with my secrets… Since I was found out, it doesn't make much sense to continue lying to them. I would just be spinning myself a larger web of lies, and this time… that web will be the end of me. Besides, looking back to when Sanji found out about my headaches… he was comforting and understanding… He was like some kind of big hug that I've been needing for… a very long time now…_'

Zoro's thoughts were melancholy, but knowing. His head remained in his red hands, green hair threaded and pulled with bloodied fingers as a steady hum came from the shaking, cursed katana. However, that hum became mere background noise that barely registered within the swordsman's tragic mind.

'_Ha. All of my efforts to conceal my… well, my everything… were for naught. I tried to hide my worthless feelings; I tried to hide my history; I tried to hide things I've kept hidden since childhood; I tried to hide my troublesome, worrisome thoughts; I tried to hide many things, and they all are going to be dug up by a prissy chef. But… Can I really help that prissy chef dig? Or will I stop him and keep these secrets six feet under?_'

Zoro signed as he resumed his position. He was so consumed within his thoughts that he was oblivious of the time that had passed and the events that were taking place upon the deck beneath him and his trembling vexatious katana.

That is, until he heard alarmed shouts on deck. One of these shouts belonging to a terrified chef that Zoro had vowed to himself to protect.

: -:

Sanji sighed as he finished cleaning up his kitchen and putting away leftover food from breakfast. Zoro hadn't come to breakfast. So it was just Sanji and a distracted Franky, who was more worried about his damn inventions than Zoro being absent. Chopper dropped by too, but he'd quickly left after he'd eaten his breakfast. Apparently, he was onto something with the anti-depressant and different treatments for Zoro, so he'd just went to his office to experiment and shit.

But, more importantly, Zoro was skipping his fucking meals. Needless to say, Sanji was pissed.

That bastard was wasting food and neglecting his health. Under normal circumstances, Sanji would've already hauled that marimo's ass to come eat some g-d damn food if it weren't for his own physical condition. Though, even in the usual circumstances, he could only get Zoro to eat small amounts of food… That was still better than that shitty marimo skipping out on meals… but, still…

Sanji sighed again. How was he supposed to be helpful in his current state? Frustrated with the situation, Sanji decided to go have a smoke out on the deck since it was a rather nice day outside and he needed to go calm himself. Besides, how was he supposed to be helpful if he was a worried wreck?  
Once he was outside the galley, he slowly made his way to the mast and leaned against it. He pulled out a cigarette, lit it, inhaled the delicious smoke, and redirected his gaze to the cloud-spotted sky. He felt himself start to relax as he stared and smoked. His tense muscles, frantic mind, anxious heart, and fidgety hands: they all began to slow and calm with the influence of nicotine.

After he'd scuffed out his spent cigarette, he stuffed his hands into his pants pockets and continued to stare up, letting his head fall back against the mast, almost as if he were hoping for the answers to all of his problems to fall from the sky.

However, his pensive silence was disrupted when he heard a shout come from the dock. Curious, Sanji walked over to the rail and saw an old panda-like man look up expectantly at him and wave.

"Hey, young man. Do you know Luffy?" the old man asked with a composed countenance. Sanji stared at the old man in suspicion for several minutes before he responded.

"Um, yeah. He's my captain," Sanji answered cautiously. '_Why is this old panda here? How does he know Luffy? Does he know Luffy personally or does he know him from his wanted poster? Hmm, but if it was from the wanted posters, how does he not know me? What if this is some stunt pulled by the marines? Would they put together a trap like this? You never know on the grand Line, this might be a devil's fruit user… Either way, I can't fight like this… Well… I can, but Chopper would be pissed and I'm sort of set on recovering so I can have the strength to haul Zoro's ass to eat some g-d damn food._'

"Well," the old man began, once again grabbing the chef's attention. "I need to talk to Robin. She should be on Luffy's crew and since you're on his ship, you should be on his crew too."

Sanji paused as he let those words fully penetrating his brain. "You know Robin-chan?" Sanji asked with a hint of surprise in his voice.

"Yeah. Now are you going to let me on the ship or what?" the old man asked blandly. Sanji paused and as time passed, his mouth twisted into a small scowl. '_Are all old men tasteless and shitty?_'

"You say you know Luffy, huh?" Sanji questioned in a slightly rude manner. The old man nodded. "How?"

"He rescued me from marines that were falsely accusing me of keeping a green-haired man - who's apparently on your crew – hidden, and then I fed him about twenty to twenty-five plates of food until the marines came back. However, there were so many of them that the poor lad was almost up all night fighting them. Then we managed to escape, but the marines chased us, so he let me go ahead, and now I'm here." Chie finished his tale and waited. Sanji stared at the old panda for a little while longer until he finally relented. The poor old man looked exhausted. His cute bamboo-designed Japanese-clothing was torn, ruffled, and dirtied, and he had deep dark bags under his old eyes.

"Eh? Why are small fry marines giving Luffy trouble?" Sanji asked, perplexed at the mere thought of this occurring.

"For some reason, each time a marine got knocked down, he came back stronger. Moreover, there were tons and tons of marines. You can assume what happened," Chie explained. Sanji puzzled at the man, but eventually threw the rope ladder over and waited for the old man to pull himself on deck. After the old man managed to get himself on board, he was breathing heavily and glared daggers at the unfazed blonde chef.

"Don't you help your elders?" he panted in an irritated tone.

Sanji shrugged. "I would've helped you if I were in a better condition, Ji-ji, but I can barely get myself around. I can't help you up the ladder," Sanji stated flatly as he slowly raised the rope ladder to avoid pulling his stiches.

The old man looked at him for a second and then nodded, seeming to have lost all of his anger toward the injured blonde. After a few minutes of staring at each other the old man grunted and sat down on the lawn.

"So? Where's Robin?" the old man grumbled as he crossed his legs and arms. For the first time, Sanji noticed that this old man had been holding a timeworn book. Assuming that his old man wanted to talk to Robin about history, he just mumbled an 'I don't know' and looked up to the sky again.

"What?" The shock in his voice made Sanji look down at the old man. This old man had mild surprise playing upon his face.  
"She's not here. She's probably at the library, but I'm not really sure where she is," Sanji informed. The old man looked at him for a bit longer and then slowly nodded.  
"Okay then," he began. "I'll just have you tell this to Robin, since I have no time to waste and I'm sure you guys don't either."  
Sanji's curly eyebrows furrowed. "What're you talking about, Ji-ji?"

"What is your name, lad?" the old man questioned, disregarding Sanji's question. The chef gritted his teeth to calm his temperamental self and answered the old man's question. If he answered this old man's question's he might get his own answers.  
"I'm Blackleg Sanji, the first-class chef of the Strawhat pirate crew," Sanji introduced himself.

"Hello, Sanji. My name's Chie," the old panda man stated with a smile. Sanji's eyebrow's furrowed again.

"You mean like 'wisdom'?"

"My parents weren't that creative," Chie said in a manner that made one notice that this old man must have said that same line for a _very_ long time.  
"… Okay. Anyway, what were you talking about before? About telling me something to tell to Robin?"

"Oh, yes. I need you to tell Robin about something that she seemed very curious about. I was going to tell her directly, but she's not here and I have no time to waste. Will you tell her?"

"Yes! Anything for Robin-chwan!" Sanji shouted as he flailed his arms and hearts filled his eyes. Chie stared at this strange young curly-man for a minute or two before he continued.

"… Okay. Anyways, for _you_ to understand, I'll have to tell you the whole story from the beginning. Do you want to know too? Or do you want me to just tell you what I need to tell Robin?" Chie questioned with a certain seriousness that made one know that this was a pretty important topic, and with this knowledge, Sanji's curiosity is piqued.

"Sure, you can tell me the whole story. I'm listening," Sanji stated as he pulled out another cigarette, preparing himself for the tale.

"Okay, however, this is more of a legend than a story," Chie began as he flipped the old leather book open.

: -:

"Hey, Usopp, is it clear?" Nami whispered. Usopp didn't answer immediately as he continued to scope their surroundings at the mouth of the cave that they had spent the night. After a few more moments of inspection Usopp turned to Nami and gave a nod and a thumbs up.

"Yeah, we're clear." He smirked.

"Alright. It's about seven currently, so if there are no mishaps on our way to the Sunny, we should be there either in time for breakfast or just after. Let's go," Nami mumbled to the small group of four. Everyone gave a curt nod and began to jog out of there hiding place.

"Let's hurry," Robin muttered to no one in particular.

"Don't worry, Robin. We'll get there eventually! Yohoho!" Brooke laughed in hopes of cheering up his tense nakama. Robin smiled in appreciation at the kind gesture, but her smile was short lived as she realized that they had just run into a predicament, quite literally in fact.

Everyone halted as they found that marines had surrounded them. Readying themselves, the small group of Strawhats eyed their enemies while tension strained the atmosphere.

"Where did these guys come from?" Usopp mumbled to anyone listening, he didn't dare move, in fear of setting off a bad reaction amongst their enemy and starting a huge fight.

"I'm not sure, but we should end this quickly. We don't want to attract the attention of someone who's of a higher rank. Why are there so many of them?" Nami muttered, clutching onto her Clima-Tact, ready to electrocute whoever decided to attack her.

Robin glanced around and noticed that they were completely surrounded and estimated that there were at least fifty marines. However, she'd also noticed a strange mark etched into just about every marine's forehead; a mark that was _extremely_ similar to the mark she'd seen on Smoker's forehead. It was a flame symbol that was seemingly burnt into their skin.

"What is that mark?" Robin questioned, lowering her guard in curiosity. Upon seeing her distraction, a marine lunged at her, going for her neck in hopes of strangling her. Fortunately, she noticed her assailant and managed to turn around and cross her arms, readying herself to use her powers, however, by the time she crossed her arms, the marine's hands were just about to clamp themselves around her neck.

"Robin!" Nami cried as she took notice on her nakama's dilemma. Then, without warning, a green shuriken stabbed itself into the marine's arm just before he began to strangle Robin.

"Plantanus Shuriken!" Usopp yelled as the marine hissed in pain and hit the earth, trying to reach around himself to pull out the foreign plant imbedded into his arm.

"Usopp!" Robin gasped as she saw the sniper lower his weapon a bit. He smiled, winked, and directed a thumbs-up at her. Robin smiled back as a silent 'thank you' and then redirected her attention to a group of furious marines around her. Much to her surprise, the marine that Usopp had shot at stood up as if the shuriken plant was but a thumbtack that had hit him. It was as though this guy had some sort of power-up, for when he got up, he looked a bit more ripped than he did before. Robin didn't have too much time to dwell upon this, however, since the group of marines had decided that they were done waiting, and launched themselves at the small group of Strawhats.

"Let's hurry up and finish them off! We need to get back at the ship!" Nami yelled over the sounds of battle as she electrocuted several marines.  
"Yeah!" the rest of the present Strawhats shouted as they commenced battle. Though, little did they know, that this was going to take a lot longer that they had anticipated…

: -:

Sanji sat crossed-legged on the lawn of the Sunny with Chie, who'd just finished telling him the same legend that he'd told Robin about. Sanji took a minute to absorb the information he was just given, while Chie waited patiently.

"So, you're telling me," Sanji began as he lit another cigarette, he saw Chie nod in acknowledgement, urging the young chef to continue with his question, " that some powerful king loved his weapons so fucking much that he refused to defend himself against them when some sadistic bastard went to assassinate him, and that same bastard used those weapons to torture him. Then, the same weapons became cursed somehow and are now looking for new masters who have to live up to their expectations. And if the master doesn't live up to one of these weapons' expectations, that weapon is going to kill the new master using their weakness, whatever that may be," Sanji finished as he puffed his cancer stick. In response, Chie just simply nodded. Sanji hummed upon seeing his new acquaintance nod.

"So, what's the part that you wanted to tell Robin?" Sanji asked with curiosity edging its way into his otherwise calm voice.

"Well," Chie started as he flipped another page in his thin leather bound book. He scanned the page, and then after a few moments of flicking through several more pages, he snapped the book shut – making Sanji jump slightly at the unexpected action - and he looked into Sanji's curious eyes as he continued where he left off.

"Weakness can mean many things, it seems," Chie began vaguely.

"What do you mean? What are you trying to get at?" Sanji asked, irritated at the old man's ambiguity and his own ignorance as to what the old man was saying.

Chie didn't flinch away at Sanji's thinning patience, and instead, he ignored it and went on to explain himself, "What I mean is that weakness can mean one's disadvantages; one's faults; one's instability; one's fragility; one's vulnerability; one's flaw; one's vice. It can mean many things, and apparently, according to this thin book," Chie held it up and shook it for emphasis, but he quickly continued, "all of those things are considered weaknesses to these weapons."

Sanji's mouth fell open upon hearing this.

"What?" he asked quietly. "These weapons can judge its owner in all of those ways? What the _fuck_! That's crazy!"

Chie's eyes widened a fraction in wonder. He hadn't expected the young chef to come to the same conclusion that he had, but Chie collected himself and continued on.

"Yes. Moreover, if the weapon finds that their master has an object of affection, they could somehow use that to kill their master if they find that their master has a weakness for it. In addition, they could also use their master's greatest fear to kill them," Chie paused at that. He seemed to be gathering himself. Sanji noticed this and gave the old man the time he needed.

Sanji looked towards the sky once again, mulling over everything he'd just heard. Then, after a certain amount of time, when he was sure Chie was okay to continue again he asked a question that had been bugging him: "So, in other words, if the weapon finds that the master has a weakness, they will either use that same weakness, the object of affection, or their greatest fear to kill them?" he puzzled as he eyed the old man for an answer.

Chie looked at the intrigued chef and then after a few moments of silence he answered. "Yes," the old man informed.

Sanji nodded as he filed away the information in his head. But then his curly eyebrows scrunched together as another question popped into his mind. "So, does the weapon only look for _one_ weakness? Err, in other words, is it only one strike and you're out? Does the weapon only search for one weakness and when it finds one, it tries to kill the master that way and only that way?" Sanji mulled as he directed his puzzled gaze at the old man.

"Sort of. Basically, each weapon looks for _one_ weakness _specifically_, and it focuses on it. Each weapon has a different idea of what a weakness is. One may only look at a master's vulnerability, while another may look at a master's vices, while another may look at a master's instability. It just chooses whatever it believes to be its owner's greatest downfall. And before you ask - because this is what I asked myself before I read it - no, the master does not know what weakness their weapon is looking for; and no, there is no list of what each weapon is looking for in this book," Chie clarified. Sanji deflated somewhat, since two of his questions were answered before he could ask them, but then, a new question appeared within his head and he sat up again.

"Are the weapons listed within that book?" Sanji asked as his eyes lit up with interest. Chie blinked at the spontaneous youth in front of him and then answered his question as if it were obvious.

"Yeah."

"Well, what are they?"

"Well," Chie muttered as he opened his nameless book and flipped to the correct page. "The first one listed is Sandai Kitetsu, then we have-"

"Wait… What," Sanji cut off the old man. His eyes were wide with shock and his mouth gaped, letting a spent cigarette scuff itself out as it hit the lawn of the deck. Chie looked in bewilderment at the blonde's sudden reaction to that one name. But then, something clicked within his experienced mind.

"Do… you know this weapon?" Chie asked as his eyes slowly widened and his face was gradually engulfed with shock.

Sanji barely acknowledged the old panda talking to him as his mind went a mile a minute.

'_Sandai Kitetsu is Zoro's cursed sword. It's one of _those_ cursed weapons? From that one idiot-king? In the void century? _How?_ Though, when I think about it, I believe I overheard Zoro talking about it either with Robin or the crew… I can't remember, but I guess that doesn't really matter. What matter's is that Zoro's cursed katana had an awfully similar legend… And I doubt that this is all a lie. That book is _old_. It's hard to fake that kind of authenticity… G-d damn… So, Zoro's a sufferer of this curse… Does that mean… Kitetsu thinks that… Zoro's depression… Is some sort of weakness…? Is that why his headaches are so fucking bad? Is that why things kept progressing and kept getting worse and worse, like it's beyond his control?... What…?'_ Sanji paused at this speculation, ignoring the old panda chanting his name in the background.

'That's bullshit_!'_ Sanji thought as he began to grind his teeth and curl his fingers into fists. His eyes lit up with rage and his face twisted in an furious snarl.

'_Depression _isn't_ some sort of _shitty weakness_! If anything it's a _goddamn_ vulnerability! But _even then_! You have to be _too goddamn strong_ to have that kind of _shit_ in your head and still be able to walk around and function! You have to be way _too fucking strong_ for _far too fucking long_ if you have fucking _depression!_ That _shitty motherfucking_ katana!'_ Sanji _seethed_ with _pure_ and _utter_ _rage_ as his thoughts finally connected the pieces together.

Chie, sensing and seeing Sanji's anger envelope him in flames, went to get some water to put out the flame and to grab the youth's attention. Chie found a bucket lying on deck, grabbed it, and then managed to find his way to the kitchen. Then, after about five minutes, the old man came back with a bucket filled with water, and he dumped it onto the burning chef.

"Ahh!" Sanji yelled as freezing water was dumped onto his head. "What the fuck?!" he roared, eyes igniting in more anger and face contorting into a deeper scowl.

"Calm down," Chie said simply as he sat back down onto the lawn, un-intimidated by the outraged chef. Upon seeing the old man's serene manner and hearing his calm voice, Sanji's rage dwindled. After he'd calmed himself, he regarded the waiting old man.

"Do you know that weapon?" Chie asked with serenity. Sanji just nodded, in fear that if he said something, he may shatter the calm that had taken over the atmosphere. Chie hummed as he saw his young acquaintance confirm his suspicions.

"So that's why you got mad," the old man said simply. Upon seeing Sanji's mystified expression, Chie explained himself. "You thought that whoever's weakness, that Sandai Kitetsu classified as a weakness, _wasn't_ a weakness. Right?"

Sanji's face fell in bewilderment. _'Am I really that easy to read?'_

"How…?" he managed to ask meekly before the old man continued.

"Why else would you get so upset?" Chie shrugged as he got up to put the bucket back where he found it. "Besides, didn't I already tell you that 'weakness' can mean many things? Even things that you wouldn't expect. The weapons don't like humans, and aren't prone to mercy."

Sanji stared at the strange, yet not-so-shitty old man as he put the bucket away. But then, the calm atmosphere that had rested upon the Sunny was shattered as a bellow rang through the air. Chie and Sanji looked at each other as they both recognized the voice that the shout had come from.

"Luffy?" Sanji questioned as he lethargically stood up and walked over to the Sunny's rail to look at the dock bellow, all of which were actions that he'd immediately regretted as smoke rushed over, encircled him, and moved him, forcing him off his feet to be carried around like a rag doll.

Sanji could barely compute what was happening around him. All he knew was that Luffy was trying to save him; the smoke was alive and was in the middle of kidnapping him. Pain vibrated throughout his body with every movement, and there was a voice that just _wouldn't_ _shut_ _the fuck up_.

Oh, wait, that was him.

: -:

"Oi! What's with all the-" Zoro began to rant as he opened the window to the crow's nest, but then he saw what events were happening on the Sunny and he quickly grabbed his katana and jumped out of said window.

"Sanji!" he shouted as he made his descent, putting his Wado in his mouth and failing to notice the slight tremble of his cursed sword in his left hand.

As Zoro fell, he readied himself for one of his Santoryu attacks, but as soon as he was about to launch an 'onigiri', the smoke that held Sanji captive fled at incredible speeds, with Sanji still in its clutches.

"Sanji!" Zoro yelled as he landed on the Sunny's deck, running to the railing of the Sunny and staring off into the direction where his chef had been carried off in. Zoro's face was absolutely crestfallen, hopelessness crept through him and all thoughts of running after them vanished.

"Sanji…" he whispered worryingly as he became lost within his own world, failing to acknowledge his surroundings.

'_I've… I've failed… again. I've failed to protect the one I love… and I can't go out to find him and bring him back as quickly as possible…! I'm directionless!__** I'm fucking useless! Shit!**__'_ Zoro clenched his teeth around Wadou and buried one of his hands into his messy green hair after he sheathed the sword that occupied it.

"_Zoro_!" someone yelled into his ear, interrupting his self-loathing thoughts.

"What? Luffy?" Zoro questioned almost desperately, turning to see his captain stare at him. Then, he noticed the old panda-like man next to the Straw-hat teen.

"Who are you?" the swordsman more or less asked as he sheathed the rest of his swords. He had to act normal. He had to. He couldn't admit out loud that Sanji mattered more to him than anyone, because if anyone caught on and said it themselves, he was done for. He would break, because that person he loved so much had been taken away from him, taken somewhere to be killed most likely. He had to keep it together and drown his problems in denial for the time being, just for this moment.

"I'm Chie." the old man introduced.

"Like 'wisdom'?"

"My parents weren't that creative. Now, enough about my name, you guys need to go save Sanji." Chie helpfully stated the obvious. Zoro was just about to get pissed off at this cute little old man, until two doors swung open, accompanied with two large bangs.

"What's going on?!" Franky and Chopper shouted in unison as they ran on deck. They looked at each other in slight confusion and alarm, then redirected their gazes at Luffy.

Chopper glanced between Zoro and Luffy with concern and then shuffled towards Zoro. He looked up at the green swordsman with big, innocent, worried, bewildered eyes and then hugged said swordsman's leg.

Zoro felt warmth from the cute little reindeer cover him as he patted his hat, but soon after he felt overwhelming guilt. He should've been able to save Sanji… Then no one would've had to worry.

"Zoro," Chopper mumbled into his leg. Zoro bent down to Chopper's height to acknowledge the little doctor as he patted his hat to comfort him. "What's going on?"

Zoro stayed silent for a moment or two before he answered.

"The cook's just been kidnapped. And I'm fairly certain that Smoker was the one who did it. Right, Luffy," he said, making his question more of a statement as he redirected his gaze to his captain.

"Yeah," Luffy stated seriously. The deck grew tense and silent. However, it seemed that only one character didn't give a fuck.

"So, Luffy, where have you been?" Chie asked with a strange sense of calmness, a calmness that seemed to infect everyone, for the atmosphere became less constricting.

"Well," Luffy began in his child-like, Luffy voice as he relayed the events that took place not too long ago.

: -:

"Whaaaat?!" Luffy wailed as another marine grunt stood up after Luffy had just knocked him down.

"Geez! These guys keep coming back! And, they get stronger and stronger each time they get up! These guys are almost as tough as Smoker without his devil fruit powers!" Luffy whined and he threw out another 'gatling gun', clearing out a good portion of the marines in the area.

He'd been fighting all night, and Ji-ji left about thirty minutes ago. Luffy was getting hungry and he was craving Sanji's delicious cooking! Luffy wanted meat! "Gomu Gomu no whip!" Luffy shouted in frustration as he knocked down just about everyone in the clearing, and this time, his efforts paid off. About one-fourth of the marines he'd been fighting stayed down! Though, they seemed just about dead… and they were acting kind of funny.

They were thrashing around, clawing at their foreheads. Luffy had noticed a while ago that each and every one of these Marines had a flame symbol burnt into his forehead and he'd also noticed that every time he'd knocked down a marine, the mark glowed and that knocked-out marine stood back up, and he was stronger than before. But what Luffy couldn't figure out was, what the hell _was_ that mark and where had it come from? Is it a devil fruit power? A curse? Some experiment? Luffy didn't know and he didn't stick around to find out, 'cause all of a sudden, smoke lashed out at him. Luffy dodged with ease, knowing who was assaulting him immediately.

"Smokey," Luffy chuckled as the vice admiral's upper body materialized.

Smoker turned to the Marines, barked a 'Get back to camp!', and turned back around to face the Strawhat's captain. Then, without some sort of monologue, warning, or hesitation, Smoker launched himself at the Straw-hatted teen with his knife ready to plunge itself into the teen's heart. Luffy dodged and began to fight him until the smoke man darted away, towards his ship. Luffy, then, impulsively gave chase to the white smoke and then… said smoke had kidnapped his chef. Luffy didn't even see which direction Smoker had gone in… because of all the smoke. Luffy was just about to punch Smoker and make him let go of Sanji, but Smoker had evaded the straw-hatted teen using his own smoke.

Now, Luffy was on his ship with a sniveling reindeer, a confused cyborg, and a worried swordsman… and all he wanted was meat. They needed to get Sanji back right away, or there would be no meat!

: -:

"…" Everyone on deck stared at Luffy in slight shock as to the Straw-hatted boy's serious recollection of his day.

"… Okay. I more or less have a grasp of the situation and this is totally not super." Franky stated as he stepped in front of the small group.

"Zoro," the cyborg called over his shoulder, glancing back at the swordsman.

"Yeah?"

"Make Luffy some meat. _We_ have to make a plan. Everyone to the kitchen!" Franky instructed, leaving no room for anyone to refuse as he herded everyone into Sanji's sacred place. "By the way," Franky started again. "Who are you?" he asked the old panda-like man.

"I'm Chie."

"Chie? As in 'wisdom?'" Chopper asked innocently as he intervened in the conversation.

"My parents weren't that creative."

Zoro instantly felt bad for the poor old man. _'Does he get asked that every fucking time he introduces himself? Well, damn…'_ Zoro shook his head to release these petty thoughts.

"Anyways," Zoro spoke up as he put on Sanji's pink apron. His crew used to laugh at him for it… but they quickly learned to contain their laughter as he made Usopp a stunning example of Zoro's hellish rage. Dinner that day was rather interesting. Speaking of dinner, Zoro had to cook something as he wracked his tired brain for any ideas on how to rescue Sanji.

"We need to come up with a plan to save the shitty cook. We don't know where Robin, Nami, Usopp, and Brooke are, so it's just us," he said in a matter-of-fact tone as he searched the drawers for a cookbook… Sanji must've moved it somewhere where Zoro couldn't fucking find it...

"Oh-ho, don't worry, Zoro-bro! I got this! This is going to be a _suuuuppppeeerr_ plan! We'll execute it after we refuel!" Franky shouted enthusiastically, cheering up his captain and doctor while he received a passive stare from the old panda man.

Zoro watched the antics of his crewmates with indifference, as they began to make poses, then he glanced at Chie who was doing the same thing as Zoro.

"Don't you find that strange?" Zoro questioned, puzzled at the old man's unresponsiveness.

"Yeah, but strange is a good thing, no?" he asked as his eyes smiled before his mouth while he watched Zoro's crewmates. Zoro blinked at the old man, glanced at his nakama and then smiled the same genuine smile that was on Chie's face and he turned his attention to the newly acquired cookbook.

"Yeah," Zoro breathed, not sure if Chie heard him but he found that he didn't care whether or not the old man did.

Only one thing occupied his mind: Sanji.

Zoro tried his best to appear normal and indifferent, which seemed to be working out for him, since no one noticed or pointed out any abnormalities with him. However, he wasn't faring as well as he seemed to be.

Zoro was guilt-ridden. He felt worthless. He felt sorrowful. He felt anxious. He felt the loneliness eat away at him. He felt those wretched waves come back to drown him. He felt the hole in his soul grow deeper. He felt the weight of the world increase. He felt his world shake and crumble. The sky above him began to crack and fall, piece-by-fucking-worthless-piece.

Then, he felt himself long for the feeling to feel nothing. He wanted to feel as indifferent as he looked on the outside.

The one thing that killed him more than anything else was that if he's just grown some balls and talked to Sanji, if he'd stopped freaking out in a remote corner of the ship all alone and just gone to talk to Sanji instead, maybe he could've been there faster, maybe he could've protected him, maybe Sanji wouldn't have been kidnapped.

It was Zoro's fault. He could've prevented it, if he'd just been able to put aside his pride.

"ro… zoro… Zoro!" someone shouted in his ear. Reeling back into reality, Zoro quickly turned his head to find Franky next to him. The cyborg's countenance had a strange mix of concern and determination.

"What?" Zoro asked as he went back to taking out the ingredients listed in his cookbook.

"Are you ready?"

Zoro paused in his search to look back at his smirking nakama. After a few moments of wondering what the hell Franky was talking about, understanding slowly overtook Zoro. Zoro's dull eyes sparked, and his downcast countenance lifted.

"Hell yeah, I am. What's the plan?" Zoro asked with renewed interest. His negative emotions dwelling within dwindled as he regarded his nakama, though these destructive and damaging feelings never really cease. They just took breaks.

"You'll find out once you finish making dinner. We can't go on an empty stomach!" Franky grinned as he patted the swordsman's back. Giving him the motivation that he needed, Zoro smiled back at Franky and dived into his work.

"Super!" Franky yelled as he posed.

The air was still a bit tense and it was obvious that everyone was worried about Sanji, but they all knew that they had to regroup, focus, plan, and head out as soon as possible. Zoro knew this. He did. It's just…

No matter how much he tried to 'regroup', his head, his emotions were a mess. The waves threatened to drown him for the millionth time. The knife that stabbed his heart was poisoned with guilt and it coursed through his veins. Many pessimistic thoughts trapped his mind. Many negative emotions squeezed and crushed his heart.

The only thing that made him pull himself together was the thought that he could save Sanji. He could save the one he loved. This time… it won't be too late.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

***Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece or any of its wonderful characters.  
**

**A special thank you goes out to HadenxCharm, my wonderful beta-reader. Anyways, thank you so much for reading. Please enjoy!***

"Ugh… Shit…" Sanji mumbled as his eyes fluttered open, he slowly regained consciousness whilst welcoming a throbbing pain at the base of his skull. He'd been knocked out some time ago while he was on his way to wherever the hell he was at now.

Sanji grumbled as he shifted awkwardly in his confinements. He found that he was stuffed in a cage like a goddamned animal. He only had enough room to sit up and somewhat stretch his legs out with his knees at a bend. Furthermore, he was in handcuffs, and his good leg was restrained with seastone cuffs that were attached to the cage. Damn, that was smart of the fucking kidnapper, Blackleg Sanji may not have a devil fruits power, but they would need something as strong as seastone to restrain him, even if he was injured. Sanji muttered curses under his breath as he felt a dull pain in his chest and right leg. Then, as irritated as he was at the situation, he decided to scan his surroundings. It was the smartest thing to do, considering he couldn't really _do_ anything.

He discovered that he was in a light tan tent. To his right was a small, thin desk that had paperwork scattered across its surface, a lantern being the only other thing on it. To his left was a makeshift bed made out of some mats and bed sheets. At the foot of the makeshift bed was a small filing cabinet. Everything in this relatively modest space seemed to be transportable, meaning that this was a temporary work and living space.

So, Sanji inferred that he had to be at some sort of camp.

Now, who was his kidnapper? Well, it was fucking smoke that had kidnapped him. Sanji would have to be a fucking idiot to not know that it was Smoker who'd taken him. Meaning that he was a fucking _marine_ camp.

"Shit." Sanji cursed under his breath as he pieced together where he was and realized that he had a… small… personal problem on his hands. At least half of his stab wounds had reopened and they'd bled through his shirt. He hadn't even noticed much of anything until he'd seen red staining his shirt. Sure, he felt the dull throbbing pain… but he hadn't thought it was _that_ bad until he caught a glimpse of red.

Damn it _all_… he'd liked this shirt and now it was ruined. Sanji fumed a bit before his thoughts were cut off by a sudden noise.

"Tch, he woke up," a deep, rough voice murmured from above.

Sanji's head whipped upward to see who was his visitor, but guessing upon the voice he already knew whom it belonged to.

"Smoker," Sanji hissed, venom dripping from his voice. Sanji's face morphed into pure rage as he snarled and glared. He was fucking pissed: his wounds had reopened, he was gonna' miss dinner, he didn't want to be here, he was hurting, he was in a cage, he was cuffed, and his fucking shirt was ruined! All thanks to this motherfucker! Once Sanji was out of his restraints, he was gonna' beat the living shit out of him!  
But before Sanji could cuss him out, even before Sanji had gotten a good look at Smoker's face, the man left. This quelled his rage and piqued his curiosity. Wouldn't Smoker usually talk to his captives? Doesn't someone of a high status talk to the prisoners or some shit like that in the marines? Doesn't that mean that Smoker may have to report to someone of a higher status? Is he really going to follow some minor protocol like that? Wasn't Smoker known for being something like a stray dog insofar that he only followed his own sense of justice? What the fuck was going on?

Then, Sanji paled due to a slightly unnerving thought: '_Is there an admiral here on this small island?'_

Though, Sanji shook his head at this.

'_If there was an admiral here, then why wouldn't he come after the first marine attack in town? Why hadn't he come to the attack on the Sunny? ... Does that mean that some sort of high ranked government official is here? A Celestial Dragon? Or maybe someone that Smoker just _can't_ oppose?_'Sanji mulled over his thoughts.

After a while of going over the scenarios and possibilities of whom Smoker could be reporting to, Sanji came to the conclusion that it was most likely someone that Smoker just cannot oppose for some inexplicable reason. Besides, why would a Celestial Dragon come to a place like this? Wouldn't they think that it was beneath them to be at a camp despite the fact that this island was beautiful?

The other possibilities Sanji came up with just didn't seem plausible… Sanji began to ponder over other prospects until he heard someone shuffle into the tent. He'd barely noticed that the sun had begun to set, creating an orange hue on the tent while he was lost within his thoughts.

Sanji sent an icy glare upward to whoever had just walked in, assuming that it was Smoker, but after taking in the stranger's countenance, Sanji's glare slowly melted away into complete and utter shock. Sanji didn't even notice Smoker walking in behind the strange man.

"Wha…?" Sanji managed to breathe while the man slowly strode over to his cage.

"Why, hello, Blackleg Sanji," the stranger said politely with a silken voice that immediately went under Sanji's skin. This man was a vice-admiral based on his clothing, but… He was dangerous. Sanji just _knew_ it. He felt something like fear and disgust mix together in his stomach, making him somewhat queasy when he heard this stranger speak. However… That wasn't the only thing that made Sanji uneasy… This man's hair was fucking abnormal! And his eyes…

Sanji's evaluation was cut off as the man squatted in front of his cage. Sanji scowled at the man to hide his discomfort.

"Something wrong, Mr. Blackleg?" the man sneered with his smooth voice.

The man's eyes rested on the blood-soaked shirt and Sanji immediately felt uncomfortable. This man had a sadistic glint in his fucking eyes that Sanji obviously didn't like. Sanji deepened his scowl to further hide his true feelings.

"Yeah, something's _wrong_ you fuckin' dumbass. A lot of things are _wrong_, but I hardly believe that you actually _want_ to listen to me bitch about it, so what the fuck do you _want?_" Sanji snarled with as much malice as he could possibly muster up.

All of which, Sanji had acknowledged, was probably a _really_ bad idea considering the situation… but fuck it. He refused to be intimidated by this poser!

Besides, it was a lose-lose situation for him anyways. If Sanji cooperated, he'd probably go to Impel Down; if he didn't cooperate, he'd die. Who knows, they'd probably just kill him if he cooperated anyways, since Sanji was a proud member of the Strawhat pirates.

So, fuck it.

The strange man hummed and smiled an innocent smile towards Sanji, causing a chill to go up his spine. _'This man's a fuckin' creep! He's fucked in the head! Did I just cross someone I shouldn't have?_' Sanji thought in slight fear as he continued to scowl.

"You have a sharp tongue, Mr. Blackleg. I can safely assume that you will _not_ cooperate. So now, I have to prepare an _interrogation_ room," the man said with a certain calmness that further disturbed the chef.

Then, the stranger quickly stood and walked out of the tent, startling Sanji as he did so, and leaving Smoker behind to watch the captive.  
Upon noticing that Smoker was also within the room, the stranger had already departed, and Sanji was left with more questions. But before he addressed those questions, Sanji finally got a good look at Smoker's face and he saw the mark burnt into his forehead. His eyes widened for a fraction of a second before he glared at the vice-admiral who'd noticed him staring. Smoker stared at the feisty chef for a moment of two before he redirected his gaze to the desk. Sanji continued to glare until Smoker took a seat at the desk and started on some paperwork. Then, once Sanji was satisfied with his glaring, he turned his attention to the questions floating around in his head.

'_Who was that man? He was obviously a vice-admiral since he was wearing the same get-up as Smoker… But… why does he look so _similar_ to _him?!_ What's up with that vice-admiral's _hair_?! Was his hair fucking _natural_?! And what's up with his eyes?! They're the same as _his_! But… a probably more important thing to wonder right now is - when he mentioned the interrogation room… Why did he have a strange glint in his eyes?! Shit, this has gotten really fucked up… Speaking of fucked up, what's up with that fucking burnt flame symbol on Smoker's fucking forehead?! From a distance it looks like a fucking bruise, but that kind of assumption's wrong - it looks like a fucking burn, like someone burnt that into his fucking skin. I almost forgot that he had that fucked up shit on his forehead… What the hell is going on?!_' Sanji questioned in his head with desperation.

Soon after he questioned himself, he felt irritation replace his previous anxiety. He gritted his teeth and let his head fall back against the cool bars of his cage.

'_Shit, calm the fuck down, Sanji,'_ he practically chanted to himself until he actually felt somewhat calm. '_Okay, I can't be thinking about shit I can't answer, instead, I should come up with some sort of plan to get myself get out of this situation without getting myself killed. I could always wait 'till my nakama come to break me out, but I'll have to wait for a little while… maybe that's the best thing to do. I can't possibly break out these fucking cuffs and cage, _and_ beat the little shits that try to stop me from escaping. I already feel a little lightheaded from the blood loss. I guess all I can do is to try to keep myself alive and not give these motherfuckers a reason to kill me too early…'_ Sanji began to contemplate.

He began to think of _how_ to answer the questions in his interrogation and he thought about the different kind of questions that would be asked. He was so consumed by his thoughts that he hadn't noticed his surroundings darkening and the lantern being lit.

Finally, he heard someone walk into the tent again.

"Come, Mr. Blackleg. Everything's prepared for your interrogation," thestrange man said in a smooth and sickening way. Sanji gulped and glared while he silently prayed that his nakama would hurry the hell up and rescue him, 'cause the man standing before him was dangerous. Yet, Sanji didn't know just _how_ dangerous this man really was until the… interrogation.

: -:

"Luffy! Shut up! I can't hear over your damn racket!" Zoro roared as he tried to silence his rambunctious captain. Zoro had finally finished a quick and simple beef stew in about a half an hour later and after all of the anticipation to hear the plan… He can't fucking hear shit with all the fucking noise!

Zoro pinched the bridge of his nose in an attempt to calm himself, but when that didn't work, he found that trying to stab Luffy's wandering, food-stealing hands was a better way to blow off steam.

"Anyways," Franky began again after swallowing a chunk of meat. "I have a _suuuuuuuuuuuper_ plan!"  
"What is it, Franky?" Chopper asked inquisitively as he chewed on his portion of stew.

Zoro was just as curious as Chopper, but while he was trying to stab Luffy, he glanced at the quiet old man. Chie just ate and watched the remainder of the crew, which still intrigued Zoro, since usually normal people would question if they were crazy or something like that…

'_Well, he did say it was nice to be like this, but still, for some odd reason I can't quite believe him… People hate weirdoes… That may be just my experience talking, who knows? … But none of that matters right now,'_ Zoro thought to himself passively as he ate his modest meal.

At first, he'd served himself the smallest portion, since he wasn't all that hungry, but Chopper threatened to cut his own meal down when he saw Zoro's measly helping. So, Zoro reluctantly gave himself a serving fit for one young male, a meal size that seemed almost too much for Zoro to eat. Though, according to Chopper, Zoro's meal size before was that of a 'child's serving'. But Zoro could honestly care less. Sanji was out there, with the fucking marines, and the only ones who can save him were eating! They weren't even talking about the fucking plan yet!

Zoro felt himself grow irritated again as he grit his teeth and tightened his grip on his spoon. He was just about to yell at everyone to shut the fuck up, until Franky basically did it for him.

"Hey!" Franky bellowed, grabbing the attention of everyone present, he even got Luffy to pause in his eating, which wasn't much of a surprise since Franky rarely shouted in such a serious tone... towards _them_ at least. Once he saw everyone's eyes on him, he gave a curt nod of approval and crossed his arms.

"Now, we know Sanji's been taken by the marines and locked away," the cyborg began. He glanced around the table, noticing that those present were giving him small nods as a sign that they were listening, prompting him to continue. "Well, while Zoro was cooking, I asked Chie if there was any news about a marine camp on the island." Franky redirected his gaze to the small old man, causing everyone else's eyes to follow. Chie glanced around and nodded once in confirmation.

"And, according to him, there's a marine camp site on the opposite end of the island from where we are now," Franky informed. "So, I say we raid the place."

"Wait, what," Zoro said as more of a statement than a question as his spoon stopped halfway to his mouth with a chunk of meat on it. Everyone shifted their gaze to the swordsman to see that his eyes were slightly widened and that he was completely frozen; he didn't even move when Luffy stole the forgotten piece of meat from his spoon.

"Is that it? We waited _just_ to hear that we're gonna' raid the fuckin' place?" Zoro asked in mild exasperation. He was expecting more than that since he was made to wait to hear the plan.  
"Yup!" Franky shouted in triumph, as if he'd made the best plan ever to be brought about.

Zoro stared at him dumbly, as Luffy howled in laughter and Chie chuckled at their antics.

"What?! Then why did you make us wait to hear your plan?!" Zoro hissed as he slammed his hands on the table, which didn't startle anyone, if anything, it made Luffy's laughter increase in volume. "We could've done that _immediately!_'

"You know, we didn't wait that long. Sanji literally got taken about an hour ago. But, that doesn't mean that I wasn't concerned or anything! I made you wait to hear the plan to motivate you into working faster since we _need_ to refuel and regroup. Besides, you were lost in your own world," Franky said in a serious tone as he looked at Zoro and finished his meal.

His serious tone quieted the laughter of the captain and caused everyone to hesitantly look over at a silenced and expressionless Zoro.

'_Shit_,' the sullen swordsman thought as he took in his nakama's words. '_So it's partly my fault that we didn't just go right after him. Damn it… I'm such a big fucking failure… Sorry, Sanji. I hope my shitty little feelings didn't put you into any more danger. I hope my worthless petty feelings didn't prevent me from saving him on time… Shit, I'm so fucking forlorn and pathetic. I know Franky didn't mean anything bad by saying that; I'm at fault for thinking this way… Sorry…_' Zoro thought resentfully as he continued to put up a straight face as the knife of guilt stabbed his bleeding heart and its poison coursed through his veins, but he soon realized he didn't really know whom he was saying sorry to at the end of his thought… was it to Sanji? Franky? … Or himself?

"Anyways," Franky continued, slicing through the tension that had fallen upon them and regaining Zoro's attention. "If there are no other oppositions, we have to hurry over to the camp before they think that it's a better idea to leave, since they probably know that we'll come to get our nakama back."  
"Now, wait right there," a voice interrupted. Everyone turned their attention to the old man that they'd almost forgotten the presence of.

"What is it, Ji-ji?" Luffy asked as he began to steal from Zoro's half-eaten portion of food. It's not like Zoro was all that hungry anyway, so he let his idiot-captain steal his food.

"Why would they try to leave now?" Chie questioned ominously, catching everyone's attention, even the captain's.

"What do you mean?" Zoro asked slowly, suspicion dripping from his voice as he leaned forward and placed an elbow on the table to rest his chin in the palm of his hand.

"I mean that their camp is pretty big. They have hundreds of soldiers here. It's more accurate to call it a temporary marine base, than a camp. Besides, they have one of your nakama, why wouldn't they try to use him as a hostage to lure the rest of you out?" Chie asked passively, yet with firmness in his voice to let one know that he was serious.

"Well, even if they aren't going to leave, and even if this is just a trap, we're going to go save that curly bastard," Zoro said with dead-set determination.

Like hell he was gonna' let someone take away the one he loved and _not_ do something about it! Those marine bastards are gonna' fucking get it.  
"Franky."  
"Yeah, Zoro?"  
"We're gonna' fuck them up," Zoro said as he got up to put his plate in the sink.

When he turned back around he saw the cyborg grinning with mischief at him. Zoro smirked in return.

"Everyone! Let's go get back our chef!" Luffy yelled with command as he placed a hand on his famous straw hat.

"Yeah!" the remaining members of the Strawhats shouted in resolve as they rose from their seats.  
"Chie," Luffy called firmly for the old man sitting at the table as he watched everyone. Chie jumped slightly at the sound of his name being called for the first time by the straw-hatted boy.

"Yeah?"

"Lead the way. You know where the camp is right?" Luffy asked as he walked towards the door.

"Yeah," was all the old man could say before the captain of the Strawhats walked out of the kitchen with the remainder of his crew right behind him.

: -:

'_My, my,_' Chie thought as he watched the young, green-haired man walk out the kitchen after his nakama. '_So, he's the one who possesses Sandai Kitetsu._'

Chie didn't ask the swordsman anything about his katana, but instead he managed to guess it considering that the rest of his nakama didn't seem to have any weapons. However, he did think that it was possible that the other Strawhat members that he hadn't met may have Sandai Kitetsu, but he figured out that he was wrong as they discussed their plan.

While the meeting was taking place, Chie noticed something that no one else seemed to have noticed, even the young swordsman himself: Kitetsu shook.

It happened after the cyborg, Franky, said that they waited to replenish themselves and give Zoro time to recover mentally. Right after Franky had said that, the young swordsman became straight-faced and Chie's eye caught something. Rather than hearing a clattering noise, he saw the sword tremble at its master's side while the master himself was too distracted to notice anything.

When Chie witnessed that, he was sure that the trembling katana was Sandai Kitetsu since his rival's cursed weapon used to tremble too. It used to shake whenever he got close to needles…

'_Ah_,' Chie thought passively as he followed the young crew out of Sanji's kitchen. '_So, does that mean that the weapon reacts whenever the master is near or experiencing their weakness? In other words, whenever the master thinks about their weakness, or whenever they indulge in their vice, or whenever they are near their fear, or whenever they are experiencing their vulnerability… it shakes? But, why? Does that mean that the weapon is working to enhance their suffering…? Or is it just a reaction that the weapon has?_'

"Chie!" Someone shouted near him. Chie looked up to see the remaining Strawhats staring at him with questioning countenances.

"Hm?" The old man hummed, wondering why they're staring at him.

"What's up, Ji-ji? What's the hold up?" Luffy asked childishly as he pouted and crossed his arms.

Chie stared at him for a moment or two wondering how he can behave like that considering that his injured crewmate was kidnapped but Chie soon provided him with an answer.

"Nothing, let's hurry up and save Sanji. I don't have all day to wait around," he said placidly.

"You and me both," Zoro mumbled as he jumped down from the deck onto the dock below.

"Come on, Chie. I'll carry you. Just tell me where to go and we'll make sure to follow…" Franky began confidently but trailed off as he finished his sentence and extended his large, robotic hand out to the little old man.

"Something wrong?" Chie asked curiously as he took his hand and climbed into his arms.

"Eh, um. Maybe. Chopper, you're in charge of making sure Zoro doesn't get lost," Zoro squeezed in a grunt of displeasure as Chopper yelled 'Roger!' before Franky continued, "Oh, and before I forget, let me give you these." Franky smiled mischievously as he pulled out several small contraptions of sorts.

"What are they?" Zoro asked as he picked up one of the small pieces of technology. There were five pieces, one for each person there.  
"They're earpieces! They're like mini denden mushi, except they fit in your ear and you don't have to call! They're connected to each other so we can talk and everyone who has one in their ear can hear what the person is saying! Just put it in your ear, push this little button on the outside and talk, and everyone, who has one of these in their ear, can hear you!" Franky explained enthusiastically as he demonstrated.

Luffy and Chopper cheered and raved about how awesome this invention was while Chie and Zoro gaped at the cyborg.

"When did you make this?" Zoro asked as he put the earpiece in his ear, impressed as his nakama's handiwork.

"This is the project that Usopp and I were working on, pretty cool, huh? I finished it just before this whole mess!" Franky said excitedly as he helped Luffy put in his own earpiece.  
"Whoa! This is so cool!" their captain shouted enthusiastically.

Soon after everyone equipped their earpiece, Franky had them check if they all worked before they left, and with no technical problem evident, they finally departed before sunset.

At a breakneck pace, the remaining Strawhats rushed to save their incapacitated chef in hopes that he was still alive and that the marines weren't going to transport him.

But then Franky abruptly stopped, causing Luffy to run right into him, which made him to fall backwards and onto his ass. While Chopper had to stop Zoro before he decided to go in some random direction, making him huff in irritation.

"Ouch! What was that for, Franky?! Why did you stop!?" the captain whined as he sat up and rubbed his nose.

"I have a great idea, guys," Franky announced with a large, impish smile playing on his face.  
"Eh? What is it, Franky?" Chopper inquired as he held onto Zoro's pant leg.  
"You guys take Chie, and I'll meet you there at the camp. I'll tell you what I'm doing while you guys are on your way."  
And with that, the cyborg handed Chie to Zoro and then went into the direction of the Sunny. Everyone present just stared after him.

"Where's he going? That Franky…" Luffy mumbled in a puzzled, child-like voice as he scratched his head. Then Zoro stepped forward to take the lead.  
"I have no idea, but we can trust him. Right now, we need to get to Sanji," he said in a firm voice as he trudged forward, ignoring Luffy and Chopper's stares.

'_Sanji,_' Zoro thought to himself while Chopper re-directed him onto the right path as they followed Chie's 'confusing' directions. '_I'm sorry I got you into this. But, I'm gonna' get you out of it. Even if it _kills_ me, I'll make sure you're safe... I love you… Just hang on, you curly bastard._'

: -:

"Oh, come on!" Nami screamed in frustration as she electrocuted the same group of marines for the ninth time in a row. They all fell, but Nami knew that they would just get back up again, since that weird mark on their forehead began to glow just as it had the previous eight times. She noticed, as the rest of her nakama had, that each time a marine fell in defeat, the flame mark would glow and the marine would get back up, but he would be stronger than before.

The battle between the other half of the Strawhats was raging, and a marine had yet to fall permanently. The fatigue and irritation began to fall upon the group of Strawhats until one of them hollered in victory.

"Hey! Guys! I knocked one out!" Usopp cheered as he pointed to his defeated opponent.

"Good job, Usopp! Now hurry and beat up the rest of them," Nami huffed as she used her Clima-tact to electrocute the group of marines for a tenth time while dodging a different marine that had tried to grab her. Usopp shouted an 'Eh?! No way!' at her before engaging in a new battle, but Nami barely paid him any mind.

"Hey! Look! I managed to knock this group out!" she yelled to whoever was listening.

"How many times did you hit them with thunder?" Robin asked while she battled a different small group of marines on her own.

"About ten times!" Nami shouted to her while commencing in a new battle with another group.

"Then try attacking them ten times with the same attack. I've been trying to keep track on how many times I should attack with the same attack and it seems to be quite persistent. About ten clutches would keep one of these guys down, which shouldn't be possible, but oh well," Robin explained as she'd finally managed to subdue the small group she'd been fighting.

"Okay! Guys, did you hear that?!" Nami shouted to her other nakama.

"Yeah!" Brooke and Usopp yelled in union as they fought.

"Alright! Just keep attacking and keep track of how many times it takes! Let's do this!" Nami exclaimed, eager at finding a new solution to their problem. But, it may take a bit longer than they might think…

: -:

"Gyaaah!" Sanji forced out a strangled scream as a sharp pain shot and pulsed throughout his body.

It was the first time he'd shouted in pain since this had started.

He was really trying not to let out any cries of pain, but he couldn't help it… They'd been at it for what felt like hours to Sanji.

The mystery vice-admiral had brought Sanji into the makeshift 'interrogation' room, along with Smoker, who was making sure Sanji couldn't escape - not like he was planning to, or _could_ for that matter. But, as he went to the 'interrogation' room he got a look around the camp, and it looked more like a temporary base for the marines. There were about ten larger and longer tents that were the same color as the tent that Sanji had been held captive in, but there were one or two small, one-room buildings. There was also what seemed to be some sort of training area that had training equipment with barbed wire fencing around it. He'd also found that they were on the far side of the island, since he heard the waves, smelt the salt in the air, and saw a cliff towards his right. The lining of the forest was to his left.

They were headed to one of the small buildings and once they were in it, Sanji was shoved into the room and the door closed with a bang. Sanji winced as the shove caused his to put most of his weight on his fractured leg. But, Sanji quickly regained his composure, as to not show weakness, and he scanned the dimly lit room, and, frankly, he did _not_ like what he saw… not in the slightest.

There was a chain hanging from the ceiling and a table was set in front of the chain, standing only a few feet away. The table was filled with miscellaneous tools, such as pliers, scalpels, knives, nails of all sizes, a metal bat, a metal pipe with a rusted end, a rusty spoon, there was even a fucking thumbscrew…

And that's where Sanji's problems ensued and persisted, until now, his miserable present.

Sanji had no idea how much time has passed, but he doesn't really care at this point. He was hanging from the ceiling, the chain wrapped around his wrists, and he was in a _great_ deal of pain.

In the time that he has been in this '_interrogation'_ room, these bastards removed his shin splint and were beating his fractured leg with the crowbar, and every time that crowbar made contact, it cut his leg. The sick part was that they were taking turns hitting him. They'd agreed that they'd get in five hits each before they stepped up their game, or rather, the mystery man did. Smoker just nodded with a stupid sadistic grin on his face, even though something in his eyes made it seem like he was conflicted about doing this.

But Sanji wasn't really worried about that at the moment. Unsurprisingly, Sanji was preoccupied and promised to himself that he would try his absolute best not to give into their sadistic desires. He was doing his best not to scream or make any indication that he felt the pain. But then, after about the tenth hit, Sanji was sure they'd broken his leg in several places and he'd let out the first cry of pain, causing a sadistic grin to appear on their smug, ugly, shitty, fucking faces.

"Well, well, Mr. Blackleg," the stranger said with his loathsome, smooth voice as he set aside the crowbar and picked up the rusty spoon. "Do you want to answer our questions? Hm? Because if you don't, I don't mind continuing our little game."

"You… you haven't even ask me anything yet, douchebag," Sanji slightly panted and spat at him while he glared daggers at his torturers. "Besides… I thought that torturing is a big no-no in the Marines? Oh, and while I'm on the subject of rules and shit like that… isn't there a rule against your hair or something? Or are vice-admirals allowed to dye their hair?" Sanji asked slowly as a smirk inched its way onto his thin lips and a frown made its way onto the stranger's face.

But, Sanji regretted saying anything shortly after he'd said his share. After he'd finished with his questions the vice-admiral stabbed Sanji's bullet wound with the spoon while looking at his victim right in the eye, with his own cold, dead eyes. He used so much force in his jab that he'd managed to get half of the head of the spoon into Sanji's wound. Sanji's eyes widened in shock and pain, his mouth hung open, and he paled into an impossibly white complexion, letting let out a strangled cry a moment later.

Satisfied with Sanji's suffering, the man smiled, but his eyes remained desolate.

"Well, Mr. Blackleg," the man began holding eye contact with Sanji while yanking out the spoon from his re-opened wound, causing Sanji to grunt and glare. "I already knew you would refuse to answer any of my questions, so I asked for special permission to use this tactic with the higher-ups, and they allowed me to do it since I was so successful in getting information using this method in the past. Moreover, after your crew angered the world government, they don't mind if I torture you. I can even kill you once I'm _done_." The man's smiled widened as he spoke, which really freaked Sanji out, but he made himself glare at his torturer to hind his terror as the man continued to speak.

"Oh, and about my hair; I was born with this color."

Sanji's eyes widened a fraction as he heard the last bit, but he quickly resumed his glare. '_But, I only know one other person who claims that they were born like that…_' Sanji thought in suspicion but he quickly dismissed it.

He'll get back to that once he gets out of this situation, but for now, he has to try to focus on absorbing all of the pain so that they will keep him alive longer. If he gives in and screams every time they do something to him, they'll get bored and kill him sooner than if he withheld his shouts of suffering.

So, when it was Smoker who'd stabbed him in his stomach with the spoon and had gotten it deeper than the man before him, Sanji didn't do anything. He just hung there, in the middle of the dimly lit room; he almost didn't make any sounds as they re-opened his bullet wound with a rusty spoon.

His torturers stood there in fascination as they watched his old bullet wound bleed profoundly and Sanji didn't scream, or cry, or even moan in pain. Sure he grunted a few times, but he remained mostly silent. There was even a few chunks of his flesh on the floor, and yet Sanji didn't panic or anything. It was like he'd just turned off a part of his brain and he was simply dealing with the pain they inflicted upon him. This seemed to anger Smoker, and he was about to whip out his knife to stab Sanji and probably kill him, until the man stopped him.  
"Wait, Smoker," the man ordered, causing Smoker's flame mark to glow, and he stopped. This piqued Sanji's interest but he knew he shouldn't think about such things, so he filed that scene away in his mind to return to later while the man continued. "If he holds in his screams, this is going to be a _lot_ more pleasurable than if he screamed all the time. Besides, his cries are worth the effort." The man finished with an innocent smile as he picked up a scalpel.

"You," Sanji spat blood on the man's clothes before he continued. "Are one sick, _sick_ motherfucker. You haven't even asked anything," Sanji spoke slowly as he tried to steady his trembling voice.

'_Shit, this hurts _so fucking much_! Fucking shit! Damnit! Everyone… Anyone… Zoro… Please! Hurry the hell up and fucking _save me_!_' Sanji shrieked in his head as pain shot and coursed through him. The pain was almost _unbearable_. Sanji didn't even know _how_ the fuck he wasn't screaming or anything. He was in _incredible_ pain. His bullet wound hadn't finished healing and now it was fucking re-opened but a fuckin' _rusty spoon_! Not only did that deeply wound him, but now, it's gonna' get fucking infected!

"So," the man said, catching Sanji's wavering attention. "Are you going to answer our questions? What are you Strawhat pirates plotting against the world government? Are there any other injured crewmates? What are your crewmates weaknesses? What are your crews' intentions? What are your future plans? Care to answer?" he asked in his suave voice as he slid the scalpel down Sanji's cheek, causing a shallow yet stinging cut down Sanji's face, from the bottom of his eye to his chin. Sanji felt some blood trickle down his face to his neck before he smirked, ignoring the stinging sensation and blatantly said 'Nope.'

The man smiled in return, his eyes staying lifeless. "Well, I'll continue to do what I want with you until you're either dead or until you give in and tell us what we want to know. Now, shall we?" he said as his smile widened, and he moved the scalpel up to his left forearm.

Sanji's eyes followed the scalpel and it dawned on him on what this insane man was going to do to him.

'_Wait, don't tell me he's gonna' Lingchi me?!"_ Sanji thought in terror as he watched the scalpel cut off a piece of his flesh.

Blood escaped from the wound, but it wasn't as deep as Sanji had anticipated. Actually, if he were to escape, it was a wound that he could recover from. It wasn't like a whole chunk of muscle had been cut off, just a sliver. It was something that hurt like a bitch, but it was also something that wouldn't permanently damage him. This caused Sanji to inwardly let out a sigh of relief at the slight damage and he winced inwardly at the wound inflicted, but before he could think of anything else, the man spoke up.

"Have you heard of 'a death by a thousand cuts'? Well, I thought it was a great idea to do a less gruesome version of that to you! Instead of the deep cuts of flesh that the Chinese used to do, I'll break you down piece by piece. Besides, I still need to give you a chance to change your mind and it would end too quickly if I didn't modify it," the man said light heartedly which made Sanji's dread intensify ten-fold… if that were even possible at this point.

'_Oi, Zoro…_' Sanji sobbed in his head as the scalpel moved down to his right triceps. '_Save me... Please… hurry up and save me, you marimo bastard…_'

And right at that moment, right as the scalpel pierced his skin and right before Sanji winced with all of the pain ringing in his head, an alarm blared and screams were heard from outside of the building.

The scalpel stopped halfway through its incision as the man froze.  
"Gah! What the _fuck_ is that?!" the stranger roared in frustration as he slashed the rest of the piece of Sanji's flesh from his arm. Sanji yelped at the rushed infliction, but his cry of pain was drowned out with the screeching of that damn alarm and the stranger slamming the scalpel onto the table's surface. Sanji limply glared daggers into the man's back as said man released a heavy, disappointed sigh.

"Well, Mr. Blackleg," the man began as he turned back to the disheveled, bleeding chef, his face the picture of professionalism which made Sanji sick to his stomach. This man could get off on hurting someone but then act as though he were high and mighty? What the fuck is up with that?! But before Sanji could spit at the man in spite, the despicable man continued.

"I have to go see what that's about. Seems like someone's had the insane idea to invade the camp… I wonder who _that_ could be," the man growled at the end of his little farewell, before he twirled towards the door and stomped away with Smoker in tow, leaving the incapacitated chef to his lonesome in this god-forsaken room.

"… _Shit_…" Sanji quietly cursed as the pain coursing through his being and the blaring of the alarm rang in his hollow head.

"Damn it, guys… Can't you make a quieter entrance? … You fucking shit heads… Hurry up and save me… Zoro," he mumbled as his eyes became incredibly heavy, while his blood flowed freely from his stomach and arm, drenching him in red.

"Shit… I can't go unconscious… not yet…" Sanji grunted as he fought to keep himself awake.

'_Shit_.' Sanji thought groggily as he hung flaccidly from the ceiling. '_My head hurts. Shitty alarm. My arm, leg, and stomach hurt. _Everything fucking hurts_. I'm not gonna' let that sadistic bastard break me, but fucking hell that was horrible… That shitty bastard and his shitty… green… hair…_' Sanji's thoughts began to trail off, and just when he was about to give into the blackness of unconsciousness, he heard someone break through the door.

Then Sanji fought the urge to pass out once again as he looked up to see his visitor, and when he did, he was so _goddamn _thankful.

'_Finally… a moss head that I want to see…_' Sanji thought with a lopsided smile, and just before he fell into unconsciousness, he saw his moss head run towards him, shouting something at him.

: -:

"Sanji…" Zoro mumbled to himself after his little group had managed to find the camp. They were now lying in wait within the lining of the trees, and Zoro was getting antsy. He wanted to fuckin' charge in there and get his cook back, but he had to wait.

While they were on their way to this shitty camp, Franky talked through the ear piece that he'd given them, and he said that he was getting the Sunny so they could make a quick get-away once they'd saved Sanji. So, now that they'd arrived, they had to wait for Franky to give the signal for Luffy to go and to cause havoc per usual, while Zoro and Chopper try to find Sanji as fast as possible and bring him to the ship.

The sun had just set, so now it was a bit dark, which would be perfect for a raid. They just had to fucking wait for their escape route to be prepared! The Sunny had to be a specific distance away, so that when Luffy creates a distraction and while Zoro and Chopper were looking for Sanji, Franky would be able to bring the Sunny around without anyone noticing.

"Chie," Zoro began in a stern and serious voice as he looked down at the old panda-like man.

"Hm?"

"Go back to your home. You can find the way back on your own. If they catch you here, they might assume that you helped us, and that'll be bad news for you. Once it's safe for you, I'm sure Luffy just might bump into you again, who knows. Anyways, get out of here," Zoro said factually as he crossed his arms and peered at the old man, looking for any sign of disapproval from him. But instead of finding disapproval, Chie looked rather passive as he stared up at the young swordsman. Then the old man sighed and turned towards the forest.

"Well, this young lad is right. I should get going now. Besides, even if I wanted to go with you and fight, I can't. I'm too old. Anyways, Luffy, everyone, good luck. And bring Sanji back home," the old man said over his shoulder as he disappeared into the thicket of the forest.  
Then, just before Luffy or Chopper, or even Zoro could say farewell and thank you to the old panda-like man, Franky began to speak into the earpiece.

"Everyone! I'm in position! Luffy, go and wreck the place! Zoro and Chopper, look for our cook!" the cyborg's voice boomed in their ears.

"Yeah!" Luffy hollered as he bolted out of the forest and into the camp.

"That rubbery idiot!" Zoro hissed as he and Chopper followed the tree line for a bit, moving away from the place their stupid captain had barreled out of.

After a few moments of waiting for Luffy's distraction to take full effect, Zoro and Chopper sneaked out of the forest and went into the closest tent.

It was a relatively small tent compared to the others, and it had a portable desk, makeshift bed, a small filing cabinet and… a seastone cage.

"Shit. They must've held Sanji captive here and then moved him," Zoro mumbled in irritation of having not found Sanji. He then steadied his breathing to calm himself and think of where they could have taken him. They couldn't have left already since Franky would have probably seen them from the Sunny…

"Yeah, it smells like Sanji, another smoker, and someone else have been in here about maybe an hour or two ago," Chopper concluded as he sniffed around in the tent in his full reindeer form.

"That's it! Chopper, sniff out Sanji," Zoro said as he unsheathed two katana, readying himself for a fight if need be.

"Okay!" Chopper shouted, going to work right away. Then after a few moments, Chopper muttered a 'follow me' and Zoro tried to the best of his abilities to do just that.

The pair exited the tent, avoided conflict and chaos, and managed to stop to the side of one of the small buildings.

"He should be in there, but Zoro," Chopper began in his small report as he reverted back to his brain point.

"Hm?" Zoro hummed, silently asking for the little doctor to continue.

"Sanji isn't alone, and I smell blood," Chopper informed in a dark and sullen tone as he looked at the ground in front of him.  
Zoro froze.

'_Wha… What? Blood?_' But before Zoro could think about it any longer, he used his haki and discovered that in fact, Sanji was in the room of this small building and there were two other identities that he _knew_.

'_Shit._'

"Zoro?" Chopper questioned, realizing that the swordsman hadn't said anything or even breathed since Chopper had said something about the blood that he'd smelled. But Zoro hadn't heard him, for he was too lost within his frantic thoughts.

'_Don't tell me _he's_ here…_'

Then, once Zoro thought that, the door to the small building opened. Both Zoro and Chopper pushed their back to the side of the building, and then after a few hesitant moments, they both looked around the corner and they were met with the unexpected. Especially Zoro.

Zoro was dumbfounded. His face was consumed with numb shock, while Chopper's face was more puzzled than shocked.

"Zoro, who's that man? And why is Smoker with him?" Chopper whispered as he looked up to his astonished nakama. After a few moments of unresponsiveness, Chopper tugged on Zoro's pants and brought the swordsman back into reality. Zoro shook his head as if he were to just shake his thoughts out of his head and replaced the shock with unbridled determination.

"We have no time for this. Once they're gone, we're going in to get that curly bastard," Zoro said with deadliest determination in his voice. Chopper gave a curt nod and they waited for the strange man and Smoker to be out of sight before they moved in.

Once those marines were out of sight, the pair rushed forward and Zoro cut the door down, and when he stepped into the room… he stood in absolute astonishment and horror, letting those emotions play on his face.

He'd found Sanji… tied with his wrists in chains and above his head, connected to the ceiling, while numerous wounds were littered on his body and bleeding severely.

Zoro gaped until he noticed Sanji shaking slightly as he raised his ruffled, red-blonde head to look up at Zoro and smile, muttering something about a 'moss-head'.

"Zoro, what's… wrong…?" Chopper began to ask as he padded into the room, just to see the mess that Zoro was witnessing.

"Sanji!" Chopper wailed as he began to run to the chef, but Zoro acted faster. Before Chopper knew it, Zoro was untying Sanji's tied up hands and had him in his arms in two seconds flat.

"Zoro, lay him down. I need to do first-aid. Guard the door," Chopper said with his stern doctor voice as he rushed to Sanji's side and slipped off his backpack.

But, Zoro didn't respond. He just stared at the blonde with desolation, sadness, and pain. Chopper's heart hurt to see his nakama like this, but he had to get Sanji the help he needed, he needed to be protected, and he needed Zoro.

"Zoro! I need you to go protect the door until I'm finished! Sanji needs you to do this!" Chopper shouted in an attempt to reel him back into reality, which seemed to work, since Zoro shook his head, quickly stood up, and began to stand at the entrance of the door, protecting his nakama from the marines that are sure to see something wrong with a door in pieces on the ground. And surely enough, Zoro was soon engaged in a battle with several marines with flame marks on their heads.

'_Shit, shit, shit, shit,_' Zoro repeated in his thoughts as he hacked away at his opponents, not really caring if he dismembered a number of them.

'_I can't believe I let that happen?! How can I live with myself?! This is _allmyfucking fault that he's like this_!'_ Zoro roared in his mind as he guarded the door from a swarm of super marines with those fucking flame marks on their heads.

'_I'm sorry, Sanji._'

"Zoro? What're you sorry about?" Chopper began, making Zoro realize that he'd said that last thought aloud. "Come on! I administered first-aid! We can go to the Sunny! We need to hurry!" Chopper shouted at his blood-soaked nakama as he put on his backpack.

Zoro hadn't realized how lost he was within his head, for when he came back into the real world he was surrounded by bodies and severed limbs. Zoro shook his head again in an attempt to shake off his destructive thoughts and emotions as he went back into the room and scooped Sanji up into his arms.

"Alright! Let's go!" Chopper hollered as he ran out of the room. Zoro quickly followed behind his furry nakama as they escaped.

"Luffy! Franky!" Chopper yelled into the earpiece as they fled to the cliff. "We got Sanji! Hurry! Let's escape!"

"Roger!" Franky's voice rang in their ears. "The Sunny is in position! We are right under the cliff!"

"Roger!" Chopper confirmed. "Luffy?! Come on! Hurry up! We've already reached the cliff!"

Chopper and Zoro skidded to a stop as they'd reached their destination of the cliff. Zoro looked just over the cliff to see the Sunny with Franky on its deck. After a few moments of silence, Zoro huffed.

"Chopper, I'm dropping Sanji off on the Sunny. We have no time to be waiting around. Get on the ship and fix him. I'll get our idiot captain," Zoro grumbled with a snarl and before Chopper could argue or say anything, Zoro jumped off the cliff and landed onto the deck. Soon after Zoro heard a thud behind him.  
"Zoro! Be careful! You don't want to hurt him!" Chopper squealed as he scurried over to the swordsman to check on the chef.

Zoro froze at that. His eyes widened a fraction as he stared down at the unconscious cook in his arms and he stopped breathing, as if by making another single movement, Sanji would shatter.

'_Shit… I really am the worst, huh? Sanji, I'm sorry…_' Zoro thought as Franky tried to get his attention.

"Huh? What?" Zoro asked in a slightly shaky voice as he looked up at the cyborg next to him.

"'Hand Sanji to me and go get Luffy,' is what I've been trying to say for the past several minutes," Franky said with a frown and a contemplative wrinkle in his eyebrows.

"Ne, Zoro… Are you okay?" the man questioned in a hushed tone, as if they were whispering secrets to one another.

Zoro blinked at Franky as he let his words set in, and when they did, Zoro's eyes widened for a moment as he practically shoved Sanji into Franky's arms.

"Tch, I'm fine, Franky. Enough about me, where the hell's our captain?" Zoro grumbled in his Zoro-like manner as he scowled and placed a hand on one of his katana.

And as if he were summoned, Luffy went flying off of the cliff and crashing down onto the deck. It was as if he was knocked off the cliff, but they had no time to figure out what happened, they just needed to escape and keep Sanji safe.

So, Zoro took the initiative to race to the helm to make their get away.

"Zoro! Use a small Coup de burst so we can find our way back to the island!" Franky yelled over his shoulder as he ran to the infirmary with Chopper leading the way, leaving Luffy on deck since, Sanji was a larger priority at the moment.

"Yeah…" Zoro began to shout over his shoulder, but when he turned his head to glance back, his eyes caught something that he really didn't want to see.  
At the top of the cliff, there was a man who stood tall and proud with a head of green hair… a shade of green that was identical to Zoro's…

Zoro froze for only a moment until his instincts kicked in, causing him to launch the mini Coup de Burst, and allowing him to run away from a problem that he'd thought he'd outran before.

The sea breeze whipped his short hair around and made his earrings clatter against each other wildly as they fled to the sea.

Once the Sunny had settled down on a spot in the ocean, Zoro rushed to the infirmary. He had to get to Sanji. He had to… he had to… do what? He couldn't do _shit_ and now Sanji was…! Sanji had hurt because of his inadequacy… These kinds of thoughts and emotions drove Zoro to run faster and with more desperation.

For once, Zoro had managed not to get lost, but he slowed down to a stop when he found Franky staring at the door labeled 'infirmary'.

Zoro stared at the scene before him for a moment or two before he walked up to stand next to him. Franky glanced down at the swordsman; however, Zoro just stared listlessly at the door in front of them.

Time passed in a tense and slow manner as the two silently stared ahead. But then, the heavy silence was broken when they both heard shouting and stomping around on deck. Franky sighed as a weary smile tugged at his lips.

"Well it looks like Luffy's fine if he's making that much noise in search for his cook." Franky chuckled, and as if he were called, Luffy came barreling towards them.  
"Oi! Zoro! Franky! Where's Sanji…" Luffy began to holler, but then slow realization kicked in as he saw the two outside of the infirmary, staring at the door. He skittered to a stop a few feet away and then quietly walked over to stand to the other side of Zoro.

After a moment or two of silence, Luffy opened his mouth.

"Is he going to be okay?" he asked in a hushed yet serious and worried voice while he joined in on the staring.

Zoro remained unresponsive while Franky answered his captain.

"We don't know. He lost a lot of blood. He'll need the devil's luck. Which he has, and since this is Sanji, he should be okay," Franky informed softly as a wide smile played on his lips. Luffy looked away from the door to see his nakama's smile, smiling his own toothy grin.

But then, as time wore on, Luffy and Franky noticed that Zoro hadn't moved in the slightest; the swordsman had barely even blinked. The two looked at each other and then to the distant swordsman until Luffy decided to break the tension hanging in the air.

"Ne, Zoro, what's up? Is something wrong?" he asked probingly.

However, even the captain couldn't raise a response out of Zoro. He just stood like a statue, completely unresponsive to anything outside of his head.

"Hey, come on, Luffy. Let's leave him alone," Franky said in a hushed tone as he tilted his head towards the direction of the deck. Luffy looked up at the cyborg and then back to his swordsman until he gave a small curt nod. With that, the two left Zoro to his lonesome.

Yet, Zoro barely noticed anything around him. His mind had ensnared him again. His brain had trapped him and was now attempting to eat him alive… again. His ocean had consumed him again, drowning him, and this time he didn't struggle. The knife of guilt stabbed his heart, mind, and gut, tripling the poisoning effects it usually had.

'_Shit… I'm so sorry, Sanji. It's my entire fault. If I were there for you… you wouldn't be there, being operated on, being in pain and suffering like that... Heh, who the fuck am I kidding… even if I were there, I still wouldn't have been able to do anything… like I've proved before when we got ambushed… Shit… Why am I even fucking here…? I'm so fucking useless. I can't do shit except cause fucking trouble… All I do is get revenge, because I'm never quick enough to stop bad things happening to people before they do… Why am I here? I just… I just… I just fucking _hate_ myself _so fucking much_… I can hardly stand it anymore… I can hardly stand _myself_ anymore… why am I here.'_ Zoro thought almost absentmindedly.

He felt as if these were his thoughts, but he just didn't care if they hurt him… not anymore. He didn't give a single fuck as to how he was doing or any of that other shit about his well-being… he doesn't deserve to. He doesn't deserve to feel anything better than what he was feeling now.  
Nevertheless, he couldn't help himself, even though he knew better. Zoro fucking knew better than anyone about this, yet, he couldn't help it. With everything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours, he just couldn't hold it in anymore, no matter how hard he tried - even though his thoughts weren't really helping him at the moment with this predicament…

He fucking knew better, and yet, he cried.

With his face as melancholic as it could get, his mouth in a slight frown, his eyebrows slightly furrowed, he cried. He didn't even blink. His tears spilled and traveled down his tanned, long face to his strained neck.  
Then, after a minute or two, Zoro's countenance creased in agony as he backed into the railing and slid down to the floor with a hand over his mouth as if to silence his already muted screams. Zoro didn't make a sound as he wept in front of the infirmary where his beloved was probably never going to walk out of ever again – or anywhere for that matter.

'_I- I- I'm such a goddamned idiot. Sanji… Sanji… I'm… I'm so sorry… It's all my fault that you're in there _again_. I… I! I… I don't know what to fucking do… This shitty void in my chest is about to swallow me whole… I can barely breathe… Did that wretched ocean finally drown me? Or am I still alive? Why? I feel so separated, so empty… Why am I here? Why?'_ Zoro thought as he rested both arms on his knees and let his head fall back with a thud. His tears continued to pour from his eyes as he stared at the ceiling despondently.

'_Sanji… please… _please_ make it out of this out alive. Because if you don't… I… I… I have no idea what to do. I wouldn't know what to do with myself. I don't think I can live with myself… So, Sanji, you better stay alive you shitty, curly, lovely bastard. I need you… I love you…'_

***Lingchi= the cutting off of pieces of flesh; an ancient Chinese torture where chunks of flesh are cut off; is also known as 'death by a thousand cuts'***


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

***Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece or any of its wonderful characters.  
A special thank you goes out to HadenxCharm, my wonderful beta-reader. Anyways, thank you so much for reading. Please enjoy!*****  
**  
"It's almost like… all of the people that I love… are always _just_ out of reach… and when I'm _finally_ able to grasp onto them… they disappear," Zoro muttered to himself long after he'd run out of tears to cry and long after they had dried. His voice sounded so… _monotonous_ to him. It sounded rough, hollow, and devoid of life. He realized that he felt like how he sounded as he noticed that his all of muscles were stiff.

He hadn't moved from his spot on the floor. His legs were still at a bend and his arms were on his knees, his head was still against the railing as his eyes continued to look up to the ceiling as if it held the answer to the question of how he should go about improving his pathetic life.

He sat there on the floorboards in front of the infirmary door, thinking to himself. He was waiting for the little doctor to come out of that damned room, stare at Zoro with hatred in his big brown eyes, and say that the cook, that _Sanji_, was dead and that it was all Zoro's fault.

Zoro gave himself no room to hope. He wasn't going to hope that Sanji was still okay. Zoro couldn't let himself do that… for if he let himself hope… Zoro may just lose it. If Sanji wasn't okay… and Zoro hoped that his chef would be okay… then Zoro would truly be desolate.

Besides, he wasn't going to let himself believe in hope when it had only let him down every single time he'd believed in it. He'd experienced that way too many times in his relatively short life. Although recently, his shattered hopes were all Sanji's fault.

'_Sanji,'_ Zoro thought vacantly as his mind replayed what he'd seen in that room where they had found Sanji in. It was as though his soul had been sucked out of him and it had left his as an empty shell, which he probably already was long before. Hell if he knew.

All Zoro knew was that Sanji may be gone forever. He was always so close… yet he was so far away, and now he might be forever out of Zoro's reach. Right when they'd finally, _finally_ improved their relationship and Zoro was going to… going to what?

Tell Sanji everything that had happened in his past and what he was dealing with now? Even divulge the fact that he was in love with him?

Maybe…

Maybe Zoro was going to do that… but now… he doesn't know if he could, even if the cook survived. Zoro didn't deserve to find comfort in Sanji. It was Zoro's own weakness that let Sanji become incapacitated.

Zoro had _let_ Sanji _down_.

He had _let_ Sanji get _hurt_. He'd _let_ all of this happen. _Everything_. It was _all_ _his_ fault. And Zoro didn't know how to deal with any of this. He didn't know how Sanji's condition couldn't have been his entire fault and he couldn't think of anything else. He let himself get lost and devoured by his self-destructive thoughts, convinced that he was at fault even though… in reality, he was the most innocent of them all. He was only a mere victim who had convinced himself that he was the culprit. He was obstinate on the thought that _he_ did this.

'_I _let_ Sanji get hurt. And now… Sanji is going to actually _hate_ me. Sanji's going to _detest_ me, _despise_ me, _loathe me_. He's going to hate the center of my damned forsaken being_.' Zoro thought at he raised a hand to pull at his green hair. His_ thoughts_ hurt him more than he would like to admit.

It hurt him so much just to even _fathom_ something like that.

Zoro felt as though his insides were rotting while he was left alive to suffer. Zoro felt like the air refused to enter into his vile lungs, as if it was afraid of being contaminated or polluted. It was as though his blood was replaced with a poisonous liquefied guilt and self-loathing that flowed through his veins instead. It was like he was buried six feet under; he was just waiting for death as it got harder to breathe, and he felt an upending doom consume him in a dark shroud. Zoro didn't even know if he was alive or if he was just breathing; he didn't know if he had life in him, or if he was just the undead, a breathing corpse.

He could even describe it as if his wretched ocean were swallowing him. It always came to engulf him, consume him, devour him, suffocate him, strangle him, and oppress him as the water pressure rose while he drowned. But he never died.

He would sink to the bottom and be unable to swim as the waters made all of his muscles cramp up. Although, even if he could swim, his demons would just latch onto his arms and legs and drag him into the depths of that condemned cursed ocean. Even so, he would not die. His wretched ocean killed him slowly, but he never actually died.

A hum that he hadn't noticed until now increased in volume as he sank deeper into his thoughts, but he decided to just ignore it. He was too lost to find his way back into reality. He couldn't get out without any guidance.  
But, why?

Why couldn't Zoro pull himself out of his self-hating thoughts anymore? When had all of this begun? When had the spewing of lies begun?  
Zoro started to feel the air enter into his lungs a bit easier than before as he'd managed to distract himself with questions that he may actually have the answer to. Zoro started to think back, back to when he'd joined the crew, since that had been when he decided to change the way he lived.

'_When I first decided to lie and feign feeling okay, I'd just started sailing with Luffy. I'd decided that I'd just ignore whatever sadness I felt at the time and just focus on the task at hand, be it training, running from marines, or fulfilling Luffy's orders. I managed to use willpower to surpass my feelings, thoughts, and emotions. But then, as the days, weeks, months, and years wore on, my forsaken emotions _intensified_ little by little. My willpower was being chipped away. Or maybe I just wanted someone to see what everyone else was blinded to. The hell if I know. But eventually, maybe about a year ago, I began to hear whispers and thoughts in my head that weren't all my own. It was as though I was thinking thoughts that weren't one hundred percent mine, and it began to feed me what I had convinced myself at the _time_ were lies. Now, I see that those lies were just facts that I couldn't accept,'_ Zoro thought as he answered his own questions.

When he was done answering his own questions, he was left to sink. He was left to drown in his thoughts. He was left to drown in a sea dyed a crimson red that was so dark that it could have been easily mistaken as black. For hours on end, for was seemed like forever, Zoro sat, waited, contemplated, hated himself, and refused to eat or do anything. In that time, Nami, Usopp, Robin, and Brook had managed to come back to the ship with minor injuries and major fatigue, so Robin had administered first aid to everyone who needed it – including herself – and after they had checked up on the situation, and after Robin checked up on him, they all had trudged off into their rooms to hibernate. But Zoro didn't even respond to the crewmates that were healthy and visited him every so often.

He waited. He watched. And he silently anticipated the ruins of his world to finally be ground into dust until that damned infirmary door opened.

And then, it did.

: -:

"Hmmm, Zoro, geez, I wonder what's wrong with him?" Luffy asked in a childish yet concerned manner as he paced on the lawn of the deck. The rest of their nakama had just left to be in their rooms, and now that they were gone, Luffy had had some time to calm down and make some room in his head for the things that were bothering him.

He'd checked on their swordsman several times throughout yesterday night and today, but Zoro refused to acknowledge him, and he couldn't figure out why.

Franky, who had been working on some sort of contraption next to where Luffy was pacing, glanced over to his worried captain, sighed and tinkered with his project before he spoke in a low tone.

"Sometimes it seems like he's struggling with something, other times he seems like he's fine, but when he's neither of the two, it just seems like he's lost all hope, like he's waiting for everything to go to hell and never come back." His manner was unflinching as Luffy abruptly stopped his pacing.

"What?" Luffy questioned seriously, tilting his head downwards so this hat could cause a shadow to cast over his eyes. Franky continued to ticker with his contraption as he opened his mouth.

"Yeah. Surprising, isn't it? I was shocked when I came to that realization. I had just realized this when we landed on this island… Well, to be totally honest, I may have noticed this for a while now, but I never really acknowledged it. But, I was astonished when I realized that no one else seemed to notice, and if they did, they kept it to themselves. No one said anything. Well, that's as far as I know," Franky paused as he let out a world-weary sigh. He stared at his new project with a bit of sadness in his eyes he continued.

"He seemed to be suffering, and those who noticed it said nothing and did nothing. And even though some may have genuinely not noticed, that doesn't excuse them. They are just as guilty as the keen ones, since those who didn't notice didn't put in the time or the care to notice something wrong and they too did nothing. We're supposed to be his friends, his nakama, yet he doesn't rely on us. He chooses to watch himself die rather than to reach out for help, maybe because he's convinced that even if he reached out, the person in front of him would just disappear."

"W-what? Franky? What are you talking about?" Luffy asked in a voice that was a mix of confusion and hurt.

Franky blinked and then slowly looked up at his captain, who was looking at him with wide hurt eyes. After a few minutes of Luffy fruitlessly searching Franky's unreadable eyes, Franky broke eye contact to looked back at his contraption and fiddle with it.

"Luffy, Zoro's not happy, and frankly, I think we're too late in helping him. _However_," Franky emphasized before Luffy began to shout at him and his rather negative thoughts.

"I believe that there is only one of us that can actually pull Zoro out of the thorny dark place that he's been stuck in."

Luffy's ears perked up, his tear-filled eyes filled with hope, and his grimace turned into a smile as he'd managed to finish listening to what Franky had to say.  
"Who?! Who can help him?!"

"The one on death's door," Franky alluded as he waited for his rather slow captain to figure out whom he was talking about. Then after a few moments Luffy's eye's lowered to the grass, his shoulders slumped and the corner of his smile twitched.

"…Sanji," Luffy muttered under his breath as his twitching smile finally fell into a frown, as Luffy understood what Franky was talking about.

Franky said nothing as he tampered with his invention in a solemn silence that rested over them like a blanket, letting the silence answer for him.  
"Sanji…" Franky heard Luffy mumble. "You better be okay. You need to be okay. Not only for yourself. Not only for me. Not only for the rest of the crew. Not only for your old man. Not only for the All Blue. But for Zoro. Sanji, you're needed. Fight."

Franky looked up to his captain and towards the setting sun to see Luffy's back facing towards him. The sun outlined his frame as he looked out to sea, no doubt with a determined expression etched into his young face. Franky smiled a lop-sided sad smile to his captain's back and returned to work on his project as he also silently hoped and prayed that Sanji survived not for only the crew's sake, but ultimately for Zoro's sake, since Zoro was the one that needed Sanji the most out of everyone else.

: -:

"Okay everyone! Let's take this opportunity to escape!" Nami yelled over her shoulder as she surveyed their surroundings.

They had managed to coordinate all their attacks so that they could incapacitate all of the marines that weren't knocked out at this point.

As the fights dragged out, Nami's group were rather tired, beaten up, and worn out, and after all of their attempts to come up with creative ways to knock out these fucked-up marines, they had just figured that they should all try to attack at once to finish the whole damn thing.

When Robin had suggested that they should all attack together while they continued their individual battles, the rest of the group felt rather idiotic, but to be fair they were all exhausted and just wanted a fucking nap. So when they had finally found the perfect opportunity to launch their simple plan, they did, and now they were on the run to the ship. However, throughout the night, a random marine would pop out of the bushes every so often and each time it happened, the fight always dragged on. Even with the four of them attacking this single marine, he would just come back up.

Where the fuck were these marines coming from? They were probably from the fight before and they had somehow caught up; but Nami's group spent most of the next day trying to avoid unnecessary fights and to quickly dispose of the mega-marines that got in their way.  
It was sunset when they had reached the Sunny and they were _beyond_ exhausted.

"Oi! Everyone! Where were you guys?" Luffy shouted in excitement when he saw the rest of his missing crew climb onto the deck. Their chests were heaving as they struggled to get air to enter their tired lungs.

"We were kind of busy, Luffy. What the _fuck_ were you up to, huh?" Nami started in a low voice, but as she continued, her voice got higher, venom and frustration laced in her tone while she addressed her captain.

"Eh, well, I saved and befriended an old man, ate some food he made, fought a huge group weird marines until Smoky kidnapped Sanji," Luffy began in his carefree manner, completely oblivious to the fact that his returning nakama's faces were engulfed with shock and continued without taking their reactions into account, "and then ate some more food. Then after that, the old man I helped us – Franky, Zoro, Chopper and I – get to a big marine camp where I destroyed half of the camp while Zoro and Chopper rescued Sanji, who was tortured, and Franky let us escape with the Sunny, and now Chopper is operating on Sanji," Luffy said as he finished off in a serious tone.

Expecting the stunned silence, Luffy looked at each individual of the small group to see that they all possessed the same countenance. All of them were dumbfounded. Their mouths were agape and their eyes were wide with shock. After a few moments of stunned silence, Robin was the first one to find her voice again.

"Is Sanji going to be alright? Where's Zoro? Is Sanji still in the infirmary?" she asked with a sense of urgency. Concern was etched into her expression as she took a few steps towards the direction of the infirmary, ready to run there once she got the information she wanted.

"We don't know if he's going to be okay or not. Zoro is sitting in front of the infirmary door. And yeah, Chopper is still operating on him," Franky answered, gaining everyone's attention.

Once Robin was informed, she walked as swiftly as she could to the infirmary, followed by Nami, Usopp, and Brook, who were all wondering if and why the swordsman was still sitting in front of the infirmary door. Then, when Robin reached her destination, she felt her heart tighten.

She'd found Zoro sitting in front of the infirmary door, where Luffy said he'd be. She saw how his knees were bent and his arms were resting on them. She saw how his head looked upwards, and she saw how blank and lifeless his expression was. She saw how his eyes were half-lidded, unblinking, and dulled: no light shone in them. The moss-green color seemed to have darkened to a deep forest green. She saw how his eyebrows were relaxed, how his mouth was small and the corners were turned slightly downwards in a small frown. She also saw how still he was; he was motionless. The only indication that this man was alive was the delicate rise and fall of his chest and the fact that there didn't seem to be any visible physical wound on his body.

However, now that Robin was looking for physical wounds, she'd just noticed that their swordsman seemed a bit thin for someone of his physique. He also seemed a bit pale compared to the usual healthy tanned color.

Robin stared, wide-eyed at her undead nakama.

He seemed so _lifeless, _so_ forlorn._

There were no other words that Robin could come up with to describe him. Robin felt herself tear up at the thought of what Zoro must be feeling, what he must be thinking, but her thoughts were disrupted once she heard the footfalls of the rest of her nakama, who had caught up to her. She snapped out of her head, turned to her nakama, blocked them from seeing Zoro, and smiled at their confused expressions. She had to protect Zoro in any way she could.

"You guys, it seems like Chopper is still in surgery, so we still won't know how Sanji is until he's come out. Moreover, Zoro has just fallen asleep here. So, can you guys go back to the deck and wait for me a bit to get the first-aid kit so I can treat your wounds? Once I address your injuries, you can go take a nice long nap," she said smoothly. She lied through her teeth to protect a hurt nakama, who would most likely be very ashamed if everyone saw him in this state.

Usopp and Brook believed her and turned around to go back to the deck, while the corner of Nami's mouth twitched, indicating that she felt as though something was wrong. But then, as Robin had anticipated, Nami shrugged and decided to go back to the deck in favor of getting to sleep, rather than figuring out what Robin was up to. Robin's smile widened a fraction as she waited for her nakama to leave, and then it fell off her face as she turned back to Zoro.  
She looked at him for another moment or two before crouching down to be at eye level with him.

"Zoro?" she questioned. Yet, she was met with silence.

"Zoro?"

More silence answered her.

"… Zoro."

Nothing was said in return. He gave no sigh of even having heard her.

She sighed in defeat. She knew that he wouldn't react to her if he hadn't the first several times. However, she also knew that Zoro could still hear her, so she just hoped that he was paying attention as she tried to provide aid to him.

"Zoro… I want you to know that we are here for you. If you need us, or want us, just call and we'll be there. Just know that those of us who have noticed something's wrong, we are concerned about you," Robin said with worry laced into her voice, but Zoro remained unresponsive.

After several minutes of strained silence, Robin bit her lip. Then, when more moments of silence lapsed, she sighed and hung her head.  
"Zoro. Just hope that Sanji will be okay, because he'll need you," she whispered, in hopes that he'd asked what she meant by that, in hopes that she would get some sort of response from him.

But when she was met with more silence, she decided to leave the swordsman alone. If he hadn't responded to that, then she couldn't figure out what else to say to pull him out of his head. So she went to get the first-aid kit and left to help her wounded nakama, still silently hoping that she had somehow gotten through to him as she walked to the deck.

Little did she know that Zoro's breath had hitched a little once she had said the last piece of what she had to say, and little did she know that after his breath hitched and in his self-loathing state, he had decidedly dismissed every word that fell from her lips.

: -:

"Oi, Luffy."

Luffy blinked at the sound of his name and turned around away from the sunset to face his shipwright, who was directing his attention to him instead of whatever he was working on.

"What's up, Franky?" Luffy asked as he padded over and plopped down on the grass in front of Franky, his expression engulfed in curiosity.

"What happened back at the marine camp, when you flew off the cliff?" Franky asked in a serious tone, making sure to look Luffy right in the eyes.  
Luffy stared at Franky for a moment or two before he spoke, and just when Franky was about to open his mouth to say something to snap Luffy back into reality, Luffy talked.

"Well," he began in a serious tone of voice, "When I went on my rampage, Smokey and another vice-admiral came out of nowhere and put up a pretty good fight, and when you add those super-marines with the strange marks on their heads, I was kind of held up when we had to leave, since I had to dodge all of those guys."

Franky raised an eyebrow at the mention of a different vice-admiral that Luffy mentioned he'd had some trouble with.

"So, who was the other vice-admiral? Is it someone like Smoker where we should be aware of them?"

"I don't know who he was, but yeah," Luffy said as he crossed his arms. "He was rather powerful for someone who may or may not have a devils fruit power."  
"'May or may not'?"

"He didn't use or do anything obvious that suggested that he had a devils fruit power, but he seemed to have caused all of the marines' and Smokey's weird burn marks to glow red when they get knocked out. I don't really know. But anyways, he was the one that managed to knock me over the cliff, and he did so using a really strong punch! Oh, and there were two other traits that are a bit unsettling about this guy."

"What are they?" Franky asked in genuine curiosity as he leaned forward slightly to get across the point that he really wanted to know. Besides, usually Luffy never ever alluded to anything.

"Well, he had Zoro's hair and eye color."

Franky's eyes widened in pure bewilderment.

"W-what? He has mossy hair and eyes?!"

"Yeah, and he said something really weird," Luffy muttered as he rose a hand to rub his chin and scrunched his eyebrows with a small frown playing on his face. Before Franky could tell his captain to continue, he started to speak once again to deliberate.

"He said that he was going to take back what was his."

Franky's wide eyes narrowed in contemplation.

"He's going to take back what's his?" Franky asked mostly to himself, but saw Luffy nod in confirmation.

"Well… what's his?" Franky questioned, wondering if this strange man had told him.

But due to Luffy's puzzled expression, it seemed that that was a question that he could not answer.

"Well, I don't know. After he said that, trying to figure out what he could have been talking about distracted me so then he punched me and I flew off the cliff and landed on the Sunny," Luffy finished as he shrugged and got up to stare at the sunset again, leaving Franky to stare at his back for a bit before he went back to fiddling with his contraption.

: -:

"Now… it's up to him," Chopper mumbled to himself as he finished stitching up Sanji's wounds.

He padded over to his desk and pulled out all of the medical files of the Strawhats, selected Sanji's file out, and began to record all of Sanji's wounds, what his procedures had been, and a plan on what he should do if several events or symptoms occur.

Once Chopper was done with his report, he checked up on Sanji again to make sure that things were good, such as that the IV drop was at the correct dosage and such. When he was done with that, Chopper took a deep breath and walked out of the infirmary to find something he had kind of expected, but he was still caught off guard despite his anticipation.

He saw a thin, slightly pale, sad Zoro sitting in in front of the infirmary door. He saw Zoro jump as he'd opened the door and Zoro looked at him with slightly widened eyes.

"Zoro? Why are you waiting out here? What's wrong? Are you okay? Wait, how long have you been waiting out here?" Chopper asked, his expression held concern, and his tone was filled with worry as he scurried over to the green-haired man.

But despite his efforts, Chopper wasn't able to get a response from him.

Zoro just stared at the little reindeer as he sat up a bit straighter, popping multiple vertebrae from his stiff back. Chopper flinched from the popping sounds, but Zoro seemed unfazed as he continued to stare at him. Just when Chopper was about to say something in an attempt to get Zoro to respond, Zoro spoke up.  
"How… How's Sanji?" Zoro questioned, his voice sounding strained and unused.

'_Has Zoro not spoken to anyone since the rescue?'_ Chopper asked himself in the confinements of his head, which almost caused him to miss Zoro's question.  
"Eh, well, I did all that I could…" Chopper muttered in a very serious tone, redirecting his gaze to the floorboards, not wanting to see Zoro's expression, for he feared that if he saw Zoro's expression, he would be tempted to give the melancholy man false hope, and as a doctor, he was unable to do that no matter what the circumstance, and no matter who he was informing. He couldn't provide Zoro the comfort he wanted, and he knew that, so he hoped against hope that things would play out, as they wanted it to. He hoped that Sanji would pull through for everyone, and ultimately, for Zoro.

: -:

When he heard the creak of the infirmary door opening, Zoro jumped. He'd been waiting forever for that door to open; now it had, and now Zoro didn't know what to do.

He just stared at the little reindeer's face, which revealed nothing. It wasn't sad nor was it happy. That must mean that Sanji was still hanging in the balance. That means that he had no idea if Sanji was going to make it or not. Despite Zoro's interpretation of Chopper's expression, Zoro decided to hope that Chopper would say the words he wanted to hear. Despite the fact of his thoughts and feelings before, he decided right then and there where the possibility of losing Sanji was present; he wanted to dare to hope. He wanted to hope that Sanji would be okay, he wanted to hope that the love-cook would just be sitting with a few bandages, look up and smile at Zoro once Zoro had entered the infirmary.

"Zoro? Why are you waiting out here? What's wrong? Are you okay? Wait, how long have you been waiting out here?" Chopper had questioned him.  
But Zoro barely heard his question. He had just continued to think about Sanji's condition, how he was doing now, if he was still close to death, if Sanji was going to be just fine. He continued to think about what Chopper would say, what was wrong with Sanji, and what Chopper had done try and patch him back together. He continued to think about Sanji, and as his mind continued to race with thoughts, he heard himself ask Chopper a short question before he'd really thought of saying anything.

"How… How's Sanji?" Zoro had asked.

He heard how strained his voice sounded from the lack of talking, but he didn't really care. All he really needed was to be informed about Sanji's condition.  
Chopper looked at him for another moment or two before he answered, but the look on his face made Zoro regret that he had even hoped in the first place. Zoro cursed himself for even thinking about hoping.

Chopper's neutral expression turned into a slightly sad one.

Once Zoro saw this, his hopes and expectations were immediately shot down and went straight to hell. Zoro felt all of his negative emotions intensify as his own expression strained as he tried hard not to look sad in front of the little doctor. And it seemed like his efforts worked since the little doctor didn't say anything about how he looked, but the little guy did speak up after a moment or two.

"Eh, well, I did all that I could…" Chopper said as he turned his gloomy gaze to the floorboards, not willing to look Zoro in the eyes and tell him the news that Zoro didn't really want or need to hear.

"What do you mean?" Zoro asked in a small voice as he redirected his eyes from Chopper to the door where he had come from.

He almost sounded defeated, but one thing was for sure, he felt crushed. He'd dared to hope and now he was dealing with the consequences. Zoro had finally sunk to the bottom of the ocean that was trying to kill him. Zoro's lungs closed up. His heart felt vacant and void. His body felt the pressure crush him. His insides felt as though they have rotten, as though they had been decaying. If Sanji was gone, then what was Zoro going to do? Become the greatest swordsman in the world? Ha, that would be a joke if he always failed to save the ones he loved.

'_Just a child's promise. That's what it would be, huh?' _Zoro thought hollowly, and even though this thought only fed his gluttonous guilt, and even though he knew he would still make sure to fulfill that promise, he still couldn't _help_ but think this.

Zoro had never felt this overwhelmed. He'd never felt this devoid of life. Sure, it had always felt as though the life was being sucked out of him, but he'd never felt _this_ drained. However, before Zoro could go on and wallow in his despair, Chopper gave him a glimmer of hope that Zoro didn't want to believe in.  
"However," Chopper continued, "I'm not sure if Sanji will survive or not. Since Sanji is one stubborn bastard, he could make it, but there is also a possibility that he may not. He sustained a lot of damage. With the re-opened stab wounds, the re-opened bullet wound that suffered an infection, and then with the addition of new wounds, such as a broken leg and cut-off chunks of his arm, and an ample amount of blood loss, Sanji is hanging in the balance between life and death. I did all I could for him. So now, we wait and leave it up to him," Chopper said to the ground with his doctor voice, but towards the end, Chopper looked directly at Zoro.

Seeing that Chopper was looking at him, Zoro pried his gaze away from the door to look at the little doctor, and once he did, Chopper's expression quickly turned from serious to sad. After a moment or two of staring at each other, Chopper shuffled forwards and hugged Zoro, sniffling as he wrapped his thin, furry arms around Zoro's neck.

"Zoro, don't look like that," Chopper began to sob as he buried his head into the crook of Zoro's neck.

Zoro wasn't sure what his face looked like right now, but if he had to guess, he might have looked either devastated or desolate. Zoro wasn't sure since he felt, and tried to hide, both of those emotions. Before Zoro could lie through his teeth and tell Chopper to not worry about him, the furry little doctor continued as he sniffled.

"Sanji has a chance to survive. If we had rescued him any later, then he would've been a goner, but we rescued him before that and now he has a chance! We have to hope, Zoro. We have to hope," Chopper whimpered as he tightened his grip on the swordsman.

It was almost as if Chopper were trying to keep Zoro from breaking apart into glass shards right there, but Chopper was too late.

Zoro had been broken long before Chopper had even joined the crew. It was just that… Zoro was so damn good at hiding it. He wondered what had made him lower his guard enough to let his emotions filter through and become noticeable. Maybe it was just Zoro's willpower finally breaking down, like how iron eventually rusted after being exposed to water and air, or maybe it was that he wanted someone to finally figure it all out so they could save him from himself, but if Zoro really thought about it, he knew damn well that that was impossible.

Zoro alone has deal with and take control of his demons that had swum above the waves when he'd tried to drown them, the demons that mocked him as he sank and the same very demons that tried to drown him.

But… maybe Zoro wanted someone to know his everything and for this someone be his reason to fight. And maybe he'd found this someone… but that someone may be lost forever and that would be all his _fault_.

"Zoro?" A small voice called, derailing Zoro's train of thought and pulling him out of his head for only a single moment before all of his negative emotions came flooding back.

"Yeah?" he heard himself say.

"Are you going to be okay?" Chopper mumbled into his neck.

"Yeah," he lied.

To be honest, Zoro had no fucking clue if he was going to be okay. He had no idea if he were going insane or if he were just drowning in his suffering. All he knew was that Sanji was hanging in the balance, fighting for his life, and Zoro was going crazy, if he hadn't already.

As the years went by, it had gotten harder to think, but it'd been even harder to think over these past few days. He hadn't always thought like this. He hadn't always been like this. He hadn't always been consumed in agony, engulfed by this wretched ocean of his. He had been chipped away bit-by-fucking-bit, piece-by-every-shitty-little-piece, just being eaten away slowly, just letting the pressure slowly intensify. He'd managed to will away the most of it as he focused on other things, but somehow, he'd failed, and that was another truth that he knows. Throughout the whole thing, he felt as though he were losing his mind. Strange contradictory thoughts entered his mind, and he didn't know what was what. However, before Zoro could ponder any longer about his past, Chopper softly interrupted him.

"Zoro." The small voice of Chopper's interrupted again as he pulled away from the drawn-out hug.

"Hm?" Zoro hummed, willing his expression and voice to be as casual and normal as possible. Which seemed to _miraculously_ work, since Chopper seemed to lighten up a bit at Zoro's change in manner.

"You can go in and see Sanji. You can even sit in my favorite comfy chair while I go eat something. It'll be more relaxing to sit in that chair instead of that stupid wooden one. I should ask Franky for a cushion for that wooden chair or something," Chopper said gently at first, and then his voice transitioned to childish as he made a mental note to bug Franky later.

Zoro put his all into smiling at Chopper to reassure him that he was okay, and once Zoro succeeded in convincing him with a smile, the little reindeer left Zoro where he'd found him to get some nourishment. Zoro watched the little doctor walk away until he let his smile fall into a deep frown.

Zoro smacked his head back against the wall and dwelled on self-hatred for a few minutes before he willed himself to get up.

He felt so stiff; granted that he hadn't really moved at all that day, and it was a little past sunset. Even so, he also felt abnormally sluggish and it was almost hard to motivate himself to get up.

Zoro had managed to do it anyways, and he trudged into the infirmary to find an incapacitated and unconscious Sanji. Zoro's eyes never left Sanji's bandaged body as he grabbed Chopper's chair and parked it next to him.

"Sanji…" Zoro whispered as he choked back a sob. There Sanji was, bandages wrapped around his left arm, his left leg was suspended in air, and if Zoro were to pull off the covers and remove his shirt, he would definitely see a torso completely wrapped in bandages. Sanji also looked pale and somewhat thin. His golden silk hair looked limp, dull, and lifeless. His soft, pale, smooth lips looked even paler chapped and cracked. His smooth, young, handsome face looked a bit older with dark bags under his eyes. Zoro looked at the chef, assessed him and immediately felt horrible as he leaned over and rested his elbows on his knees, hanging his head as he watched Sanji.

To think he'd done this to the one he loved.

_'I… I-'_ Zoro thought as his face remained blank and emotionless. He felt something in him die as he watched Sanji's chest barely rise and fall. He felt hot tears run down his face and neck while other tears dripped off his chin and fell onto the bed, yet his eyes remained unblinking. He was unaware of when he'd started to cry, and he was unable to stop himself.

Even though he knew.

He knew better than anyone that he shouldn't cry, he should _never_ cry, he did.

His tears poured as he raised a hand to pull at his hair, and the other was placed over his heart and gripped his shirt.

'_If only I had been faster. If only I were better than I am. I try… I try so hard day in and day out to improve myself so that I could protect the ones I love. Yet… I've failed. I've failed you, Sanji. Just like I've failed _them._ Sure, Sanji may have a chance, but so did _they_. And I hoped, and they died. They died. Because I wasn't good enough. And now… now Sanji may die… because of me, because I'm still not good enough. I tried so hard! I trained so fucking hard, but I'm still not good enough! Shit… Damn it… Damn it all… Damn it all to fucking hell… Sanji… Live,'_ Zoro thought as he sobbed.  
He kept on wiping his tears, but they kept coming, refusing to back off once they've been unleashed. No matter what Zoro did, they just continued to rush down his cheeks.

'_I…'_ He continued as he wept, leaning farther forward in the chair, so much so that he slid out of the chair.  
The chair rolled away as he fell to his knees, covering his face with parted hands and fingers, so that he could make sure he could still see Sanji.

'_I want to dare to hope that you'll just open your oceanic beautiful eyes, look at me and smile, and say that you're okay. I want to dare to hope, but I'm so scared, scared that if I hope, and you don't wake up, that not only will you be dead, but I will too. Yet my death will be different. My feelings will die with you, and I have no idea how that will change me. I don't want to change like that. Sanji, I'm so scared to hope, to nurture that little flame of hope, just to see someone blow that candle out after I've tried so hard to keep it alive. But, since it's you, if it's for you, Sanji… I'll… try my best,'_ Zoro thought as he lowered his hand and let one cup Sanji's cheek.

"Sanji…" Zoro sobbed quietly as he tried his best to choke back the tears.

Damn, when had he gotten so goddamned pathetic? But despite that, Zoro continued to speak as he pressed his forehead to Sanji's. "I'll look down the cliff that'll lead to my descent into my wretched ocean, then look up at the torch of hope, and I'll uptake that torch of hope instead of throwing myself off the cliff. So you'd better make damn sure you wake up you fucking shitty, lovely, beautiful, perfect bastard."

'_Because,'_ Zoro continued in his thoughts as he pulled his forehead and hand away just to lay his hand over Sanji's. '_I fucking need you, you shitty bastard. I need you to be safe. I don't need you to love me or even like me in any romantic way. I just need you to be alive, so hurry up and wake up you, shitty love-cook.'_

But despite Zoro's inner pleas, Sanji didn't wake up, and the longer he waited, the worse he felt. The longer he waited, the more water filled his lungs. The longer he waited; he grew more meaningless and emptier. The longer he waited, the harder he found it was to hold up the torch of hope and the easier it seemed to just throw himself off the cliff to his descent, but he held fast to the torch that seemed to be more of a candle with a flickering flame. He held fast, for he made a promise and despite the demons in his head, despite his wretched ocean, despite the emotions and thoughts that he just wished he could kick over and will away, he intended to keep his promises. No matter what.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

***Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece or any of its wonderful characters.  
A special thank you goes out to HadenxCharm, my wonderful beta-reader. Anyways, thank you so much for reading. Please enjoy!*  
****  
**

"Ne, Zoro," Chopper mumbled as he entered the infirmary with a plate of food in his hooves, "I got you some breakfast that Nami and Robin made… so go on, eat something."

Only silence answered the worried little reindeer. After a few minutes had passed, Chopper sighed as he padded over to the motionless swordsman. He waited for some sort of response, yet he wasn't provided one. It seemed as though Zoro was in deep thought as he listlessly stared out of the porthole, so at some point Chopper just transferred the plate to one hoof and pulled on his sleeve.

After a few tugs, Zoro pried his tired eyes away from the porthole and towards the little reindeer. Without speaking a word, Chopper held out the plate of eggs, toast, and bacon to him, silently demanding with a stern countenance that he should take the plate and eat. Zoro hesitated at first, wrinkling his nose as the smell the somewhat burnt food wafted to his nostrils, but he eventually gave in and grabbed what he was offered, mumbling a 'thank you' as he returned his attention to the porthole and nibbled on a piece of slightly charred bacon.

Chopper gave a slight nod as the swordsman took the plate, and walked over to his desk to continue studying about depression and what to do for it. However, Chopper couldn't fully focus at the task at hand. He always found himself glancing at the swordsman, worrying about his well-being and state of mind.

Ever since Zoro had been able to visit Sanji, he never left his side. It had been several days already and he had only left the room to use the bathroom. He never left to eat, drink, or train. As a result, Chopper was left to take care of him, making sure that he got some sort of nourishment, that he was somewhat hydrated, and that he got some sleep. Chopper could barely make the guy take a plate of food, let alone make him eat everything on the plate. Zoro always left about half of it on his plate for Chopper to either eat himself or to give to Luffy, who always looked a bit sad before he gobbled the half-eaten food, since he knew _who_ the food was meant for.

Moreover, Chopper couldn't really figure out what Zoro was thinking. Chopper knew that the man may be suffering, but Zoro was really, really good at hiding his emotions from people. Chopper _knew_ that Zoro was feeling horrible, but his expression was absolutely blank. It was like a clean slate. Nothing was revealed in his face or eyes.

Several days ago, it had been easy to see his emotions, since they'd been right on his face. He was _so_ sad. He'd been a complete wreck. He'd been falling apart, and Chopper had _seen_ it on his face.

But ever since then, he'd seemed fine. He'd seemed like how he always was whenever a nakama was seriously hurt: just a bit sullen and down, nothing over the top, and definitely nothing like how he'd been when Chopper had found him sitting in front of the infirmary. He'd even seemed like his old aloof self, but Chopper knew better. He could act all he wanted, but Chopper just knew that he wasn't feeling like himself. Though Chopper had no way of actually knowing how Zoro really felt. Zoro never talked to him about how he felt, and Chopper didn't want to impose.

Chopper concluded that all he could really do is watch over him. All Chopper could really do was make sure that Zoro didn't do anything rash, like starve himself, dehydrate himself, or go off and do something stupid if he ever had the motivation to actually do something, since apparently males were more prone to reckless behavior than females, when depressed.

In all honesty, Chopper was actually a bit thankful that Zoro didn't seem to have the motivation to really leave the infirmary because of the fact that Zoro was practically the epitome of recklessness on any other day. Then it hit Chopper like a boulder. Was Zoro reckless because of this? Or was he naturally rash?

After that unnerving thought, Chopper made sure to keep a keen eye on their swordsman. Even though Zoro looked fine on the outside, that didn't mean he was fine on the inside. So, with a refreshed resolve, Chopper kept a sharpened, concerned eye on their swordsman, afraid of what he didn't know and sad that he couldn't do more, in fear that he would just make things worse.

"Chopper."

"Yeah?" Chopper squeaked as he was pulled out of his thoughts by the soft mumbling of his name. But after a few moments of silence, Chopper understood why his name had been called. He jumped down from his chair, clopped over to Zoro, and took the plate with half-eaten eggs and three-fourths of leftover toast. Chopper frowned a bit at the remaining food, but he hurried out of the infirmary to find Luffy and before Zoro saw his slight frown, but it was too late.

: -:

"Zoro hasn't left the infirmary today, huh," Nami mumbled in a concerned tone as Chopper scurried out to the deck where everyone – excluding Zoro and Sanji – were gathered.

"Eh? Uh, yeah," Chopper replied as he handed the plate to a gloomy Luffy, lowering his eyes to the lawn.

"I wonder why he's like that," Usopp pondered aloud, looking up in contemplation while gaining the attention of everyone present. Once he realized that all eyes were on him, he deliberated in a hurried fashion, "Well, I mean I wonder why he's been acting funny! He doesn't usually mope around about an injured crewmember, especially Sanji. Oh, and now that I think about it, he's been acting weird before all of this. He hasn't really trained, huh? I hadn't noticed till now," he began quickly, but finished in a quiet tone as realization rested upon him.

After he'd said his piece, a tense silence rested upon the group. No one was willing to contribute to the conversation.

Those who knew bits of information that would help piece together the situation with their troubled nakama didn't speak up. They all had thought that out of respect for Zoro, they should keep their mouths shut. It would be horrible to speak about him behind his back and stick their noses into places where they didn't belong. No matter how much they wanted to help, they couldn't help when the help was unappreciated, or when the help was not wanted. Robin, Franky, Chopper, and Luffy all knew that; despite the fact that they all want to help, they couldn't.

So the silence that rested over them lingered for a few minutes until it was broken.

"Oh, before I forget," Robin began in an easygoing tone, capturing everyone's attention and successfully slaying the tension that had taken over, "I wanted to discuss something with you all, since most of us are here anyway."

"What is it, Robin?" Luffy asked with childish curiosity as he handed the now empty plate back to Chopper, having inhaled the leftover food.

"All of the marines that my group encountered were very strange."

"Oh!" Nami jumped in. "Yeah! They all had a weird mark on their heads, right Robin?"

"Yes," Robin continued in her usual calm manner, "They all had a strange flame mark that seemed to be burnt into their foreheads."

"Ah!" Chopper and Luffy shouted with wide, surprised eyes as they interrupted.

"Luffy? Chopper? Have you guys seen them too?" Usopp asked with a slight tremor in his voice.

"Yeah. Smoky and all of the marines at the marine camp had that weird mark on their heads," Luffy explained in a placid tone as Chopper just nodded in enthusiasm, agreeing with their captain.

"But," Luffy continued in a serious tone, causing the tension from before to return. "There was only one marine who didn't have that on his head."

"Who?" Nami questioned as her eyebrows drew together in slight confusion.

"A weird vice-admiral," Luffy answered as he crossed his arms. Everyone's expressions twisted in confusion while Franky just lowered his gaze to the ground, causing a shadow to cast over his eyes.

"Who is this vice-admiral?" Brook questioned in a quiet tone, speaking up for the first time.

"I don't know," Luffy answered, but before anyone spoke up, he continued, "But he seemed to be controlling the marines with the mark, he had Zoro's eye and hair color, and he said something weird."

After Luffy had explained what was strange about the abnormal vice-admiral, a stunned silence replaced the tension. The remaining crew's faced were consumed with shock, while the ones who knew were still a bit tense.

"Wait," Nami started in a thoughtful tone of voice as questions spilled from her mouth. "What do you mean 'seemed to be?' And what did he say?"

"Well," Luffy began in a child-like tone as he tilted his head and put a hand on his chin. "He didn't do anything that made it obvious that he was a devil fruits' user, but he seemed to make Smokey and the other marines' marks glow… um, I don't really know. It was so subtle, and I was busy wrecking the place… Oh, and he said he would 'take back what was his.'"

"'Take back what was his?' What is it that we have that's his?" Brook asked, his voice remaining calm and quiet.

"I don't know. I was knocked off the cliff and we fled at that point," Luffy explained, rubbing his chin in thought.

"Hm," Robin hummed, gaining the attention of everyone present. "I have a few theories, but all of them seem a bit far-fetched. At the moment, it seems as though we are a bit stuck as to what is happening with our enemies."

"Yeah, I have no idea what to think," Franky spoke up in a serious tone.

"I agree with Franky. All of this information seems connected but random at the same time," Usopp said as he slipped into a contemplative state, which seemed to infect everyone else as a thoughtful silence took over. But all too soon, the silence was broken thanks to a certain happy-go-lucky captain.

"Well, I'm hungry after all of that thinking!" Luffy exclaimed as he threw his hands up into the air. "MEAT! I want meat!"

Nami gave a long worn-out sigh as she face palmed. "Yeah, yeah, we should get started on lunch anyway, right Robin?"

"Yeah," Robin replied with a small smile as she followed Nami to the kitchen. After the two women had left, everyone else went off to do their own activities, but they all were wondering just what the hell was going on with the marines.

: -:

It'd been days. Days since Zoro had promised to hope. Days since he'd been fighting to keep the small candle of hope alive. Days since he'd been fighting his own thoughts of negativity.

He almost couldn't handle it.

The hopelessness that haunted him had sunk its fangs deep into his heart and he was having an incredibly hard time getting it to loosen its grip on him. However, it wasn't only the hopelessness that held him back, it was just that Zoro has been lost for so long, he had been falling for so long that he almost didn't know any other way to live.

Zoro had been so lost in the dark maze in his head, and for such a long time that he had given up. Zoro had always been looking through a fog or a screen; everything that he'd seen, tasted, felt physically, smelt and heard had all been dulled up to this day. His senses only felt normal or sharpened when he was in a fight. It had almost been like he'd been constantly sleepwalking, just going through his daily life in a blurry haze, never really waking up, like he'd been locked in a perpetual nightmare. His skin had smothered him as time stood still and he's been stuck with a type of tunnel vision that solely focused on the emotions that were causing him to fall into a deep dark hole.

He'd always felt like he was falling. He'd just kept falling no matter what he'd done to stop himself; many times he had tried to catch himself, yet he'd failed every time and from one hole to another, he was always falling.

Yet, he was just so used to it all. The past several days had been a real struggle; fighting things that weren't really there was always a _struggle_.

He'd been suffering like this all along, and now… now that he had someone else other than himself to fight for, and since he'd practically given up, he was finding it very hard to continue to fight this battle. He felt as though a very large and very heavy weight was stuck in his chest, restricting his movements, making it harder to breathe, and making it harder to go through the day.

Every time he woke up, his first thought was always asking himself why he was still here while the heaviness dwelled within his chest. But now, he was trying to fight that thought. As soon as he asked himself the most painful question of why, he told himself it was to keep promises to people that were far more important to him than he himself was. Since he had reasons to fight, since he had people he needed to fight for, he remembered why he'd been fighting by himself for so long.

He _needed_ to be okay.

People needed him to be okay. His crew relied on him to be fine so they could get out of life threatening situations. He needed to be okay so he could fulfill the promise that became his reason to continue living. So he fought things he couldn't see.

'_Sanji,_' Zoro thought as he gave the plate to Chopper, catching the kid's small frown as he scurried away, and left him to an unconscious Sanji and his own thoughts. He turned his head and body to his incapacitated companion, hands in his lap, shoulders slumped, head slightly hanging, and his ankles crossed under his seat, but he kept his darkened eyes on the bed sheets rather than the beautiful blonde himself, almost worried that just his gaze was… wrong? Almost like he was too guilt-ridden to lift his eyes to look at the cook's peaceful face.

'_It feels like… my insides are being eaten away while my skin is trying to suffocate me. You just aren't waking up, and Sanji… I just can't help but think… it's like I'm trapped. Trapped in my own head. Lost in a pitch-black maze: I keep on walking, but I can't even see my own hands in front of my face, so I keep walking into walls… Then, at random moments while walking through the maze that I can't get out of, I begin to fall down a spiral of utter darkness._

_Sanji, the whispers used to tell me things I didn't really want to accept were true as I fell, but now? Now… I've become my own enemy. I can't help but think… and I just keep on thinking and thinking: thinking that I'm not good enough, that I'm just a bastard, that I'm an idiot, that I'm… I'm just worthless… I'm… pathetic.'_

Zoro grit his teeth at his thoughts.

His thoughts for the past few days were just like this. He kept on going in circles, trying to fight a formidable and invisible enemy that had no real substance or form.

He was probably supposed to be fighting himself, but he seemed to be helping the enemy within him. Yet, he couldn't help it. He felt as though he were on the sidelines, wanting to stop himself from thinking this way, but not really knowing how.

'_Sanji, please wake up. Tell me that I'm wrong. Tell me that you'll understand. The secrets that I've kept are burning inside, wanting to come out into the open, yet my nature won't allow it. I think I always just wanted someone to know and understand what I'm going through… but I'm so scared to reveal myself, to make myself vulnerable. It's like I'm the prisoner and the jailer of my own mind: I want to break free, but I keep myself locked away, I prevent myself from escaping my own head. I just don't know anymore… It's my fault anyways. It's my fault that you're injured like this. So what's the point? Why would you care about me at this point, huh?'_

"Sanji," Zoro continued aloud, his voice unused and strained with emotion he never really shown before.

"You may hate me if you wake up, but… wake up anyways, you shitty bastard… You're needed... so wake up, goddamnit!" Zoro finished with a harsh whisper as he rested his elbows on the bed and leaned forward, squeezing his eyes shut and clenching his teeth.

"Heh, so you really need me that much, eh Marimo?"

: -:

Sanji slowly regained consciousness through the haze of exhaustion and drugs, and as his eyes fluttered open he blinked the blurriness away. Once his vision cleared, he was somewhat confused as to why he felt so heavy and shitty, so he cast a quick glance around only to find himself in the infirmary.

'_Why am I in the infirmary?'_ he'd thought at first, but then as soon as he thought this, images of his kidnapping and torture flashed in his mind and understanding washed over him.

'_Ah. That's why. And it's also why I feel sluggish, drugged, and shitty. Fan-fucking-tastic.'_

But soon enough, in his rather placid thoughts, Sanji's eye caught something that he was kind of astonished that he hadn't notice before, and it almost scared the shit out of him, yet he still made no sudden movements. He saw a head of green hair, and he quickly relaxed as he realized who the owner was.

Zoro.

Sanji was just about to call out to him when he realized something about the marimo that he knew and loved: he looked… down. Sanji saw the slump in his shoulders, his hands in his lap, and his head hanging low. Zoro looked like he was grieving. He looked so… so heartbroken or just broken in general, if there were a real difference between the two anyway.

Sanji felt his own heart tighten with his own feelings of sadness, empathy, happiness, guilt, and frustration. He felt sad since the one he loved was sad; he felt empathetic since he knew why Zoro was wracked with grief, which in turn fed his guilt and frustration; and he felt happy since Zoro was the person he got to wake up to. With a small soft smile and sad, understanding eyes, Sanji continued to gaze at the oblivious swordsman, who was absorbed in his own thoughts.

'_The marimo must feel like he's responsible for my condition or some shit like that. He's such a dummy. I wish he knew that I never wanted him to feel bad for me. I just… I just want him to be happy. I want him to be the happiest man in the world. I want to see him achieve his dream. I want to see his smile. I want to hear his laugh. But this silly moss-ball is being held back by whatever is in his head. He must have been like this for as long as I've been passed out, 'cause he did something like this before, huh? You shitty marimo, stop beating yourself up for me, that's not gonna' make me happy…_' He thought sullenly, and just before he spoke up, the marimo spoke.

"You may hate me if you wake up, but… wake up anyways, you shitty bastard… You're needed... so wake up, goddamnit!" Zoro harshly whispered as he leaned forward, resting his elbows on the bed, lowering his head, preventing Sanji from seeing his pained countenance.

Once Sanji registered what the swordsman had said, his small smile fell to a sorrowful frown. '_How can I ever hate you? Baka… You're such an oblivious shitty moss-ball.'_

Sanji wanted to say what he thought, but he bit his tongue. Instead, he decided to say something that seemed more Sanji-like to say:

"Heh, so you really need me that much, eh Marimo?"

: -:

Zoro immediately looked up at the sound of the voice he longed to hear for days. His moss green eyes met oceanic ones. Zoro froze as his breath hitched.

"Sanji…" he whispered as he leaned towards the blonde. He sat up alert and grabbed the cook's hand. Zoro felt tears well up in his eyes, but he held them back. The shitty cook did _not_ need to see him cry. But, Zoro couldn't help the overjoyed grin from playing on his face. Sanji was awake!

"Hey," Sanji croaked in a small tone, his voice cracking from being unused. He turned his head to the moss-ball to take in his expression.

Zoro's eyes looked moist, as if he were trying not to cry, but he had deep dark bags under his marimo eyes. Zoro looked a bit pale compared to the healthy tanned skin that Sanji had admired, and he looked slightly thinner than Sanji remembered, but he had an elated smile blessing his handsome face. This caused Sanji to give him a soft, kind, warm-hearted smile.

Before Zoro's brain could form coherent thoughts again, thanks to the utter surprise of Sanji's awakening, he saw the kindest, warmest smile he'd ever seen on his gorgeous face. Zoro's eyes widened and he blushed a bit. But then, he was suddenly chuckling with swiftly grew to wondrous laughter; a laughter that one could just tell was very honest and genuine. This not only confused Sanji, but Zoro himself.

"Wha-?! Why are you laughing, you shitty moss-ball?!" Sanji shouted as best as he could, trying not to hurt himself, and scowling in order to hide the smile that was threatening to appear. He'd was just been thinking about how he wanted to hear his laugh and he'd gotten got what he wanted. He was elated, however, he really wanted to know why this moss-ball's initial reaction to him waking up was laughing at him.

But he was just met with more glorious laughter until Zoro managed to come to a stop. The smile he had didn't go away, which made Sanji's smile show up.

"I'm not really sure myself! Maybe… maybe I'm just happy and relieved…" Zoro confessed, the tone of his voice starting off cheerful but ending on a melancholy note as his smile relaxed.

"'Happy and relieved?'" Sanji repeated, his eyes widening a fraction and his smile becoming slightly dopey as he took in those words, the words that caused his heart to flutter and the butterflies in his stomach to go ballistic. He remembered the hand on his own and he absentmindedly squeezed it, causing the marimo to resemble more of a Christmas tree than moss.

"Yeah…" Zoro began hesitantly before he continued with a hushed, somewhat pained tone. "It was my fault. What had happened to you…"

"Zoro," Sanji began firmly, trying to reassure him that he held no responsibility, but he was quickly cut off.

"Sanji, I've decided something," Zoro stated while his eyes sparked with determination and his mouth in a pursed straight line. Zoro looked like a man on a mission and Sanji simply didn't have the will to stop Zoro from whatever he had to say.

"And what is that, Zoro?" Sanji asked seriously, maintaining eye contact.

"I've decided to tell you everything."

"Everything?"

"Everything about me that no one else knows," Zoro specified, his determination was unwavering as Sanji's eyes widened with the unexpected action.

But he quickly pulled himself together and matched Zoro's countenance, the only difference being that his eyes were full of understanding and openness. Sanji squeezed his hand and braced himself for whatever the man was going to tell him.

"Well then? Go on, Zoro. I'm all ears."


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14  
**  
***Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece or any of its wonderful characters.  
A special thank you goes out to HadenxCharm, my wonderful beta-reader. Anyways, thank you so much for reading. Please enjoy!***

"Well then? Go on, Zoro. I'm all ears," Sanji said in a serious and soft tone, squeezing Zoro's hand as though he were encouraging him to go on.

Zoro was for certain that he wanted to do this, despite all of the negativity in his head. He'd concluded that Sanji wasn't like what the whispers said he was. Sanji had always seemed understanding and open-minded, and that's all that Zoro could really ask for.

Before Zoro began his story, his eyes widened in realization as a very important thought had just occurred to him.

"Holy shit! I almost forgot! I have to go get Chopper and tell him you just woke up! How are you doing by the way? Do you feel pain? Are you okay? Shit, you _can't_ be okay. You were… _tortured_ for Christ's sake. Shit," Zoro ranted in concern, his eyes filling with urgency and worry as he stared into a surprised blue orb.  
Once Sanji had processed what Zoro had just said, he gave a soft laugh, catching the green-haired man off guard.

"W-what are you laughing at, you curly bastard?!" Zoro stuttered as a small blush rose to his cheeks, distracting him from his prior distress.

"You," Sanji chuckled, but before Zoro could yell at him, he continued in a soft, loving tone, "I'm fine, Zoro. Physically and mentally. It takes a hell of a lot more than _that_ to break me down. If anything, I just feel a bit groggy because of the drugs, but, ultimately, I'm okay."

Zoro just glared at him in skepticism with a blush invading his cheeks due to that shitty cook's tone of voice. He almost didn't believe the love-cook, but as he looked into his honest eye, Zoro couldn't find a reason not to believe him. After a few moments of just looking at the cook, he sighed and stood up from that shitty chair.

"I still have to go tell Chopper that you're up. He has to check up on you and the crew was really worried about you. Still are, actually," Zoro mumbled as he began to walk towards the door, but a tug on his hand stopped him.

Sanji's hand firmly squeezed Zoro's hand, silently asking him not to leave. Zoro's persistent blush intensified a bit and after a few deep calming breaths, Zoro turned to Sanji with a stern look.

"I promise I'll tell you everything, Sanji, but right now is not the time. Everyone's out there waiting for you to wake up and we can't make them wait any longer. Plus you need to get checked out to make sure that you're gonna be okay," Zoro said with a slight strain in his anxious voice, looking into Sanji's eyes in a silent plea to comply with his wishes.

Zoro just really needed to know that Sanji was going to be okay from someone who was actually a doctor, not from some patient that _believed_ that they were fine, especially a patient like Sanji, that stubborn bastard. So, he _needed_ to know and confirm that he was really going to be okay. But not only did Zoro needed the conformation, he also longed to wrap his arms around him to comfort himself and tell himself that Sanji was really okay...

He just… really wanted to pull this chef into a hug… Hell, Zoro could admit that he really wanted to kiss him, but… he knew that that was unnecessary right now, and that would _actually_ make Sanji hate him and everything would just go to hell. He was… he was just so damn relieved; he'd never thought he could feel so refreshed and light. It's almost as if he were free. But before Zoro could dwell on his these feelings, he kept his attention on the stunned love-cook.

Sanji's eyes were wide, not expecting any of this from the swordsman, and when Zoro saw that he was speechless, he huffed and squeezed his hand.

This action snapped Sanji out of his stupor. He jumped and then he blinked for a few moments, and before Zoro could say anything else, Sanji's astonishment melted away and a small smile replaced his prior surprise. He also lowered his gentle gaze to their hands that were still connected.

"You seemed to be the one who worried the most, ne Zoro," Sanji mumbled as he slowly lifted his eyes just in time to witness Zoro's blush deepen, and before Zoro could shout at him in embarrassment, Sanji spoke again.

"Anyways, you should go get Chopper, but the second we're alone together, we talk, like you promised, okay?" Sanji almost pled as he stared into astonished eyes, squeezing Zoro's hand as if to prevent him from running away.

Zoro could hardly believe Sanji was still willing to talk to him after everything, and once Zoro's mind absorbed and processed what Sanji had said, he smiled a relieved and warm smile that simply made Sanji's heart stop – that smile almost made Sanji actually _need_ a doctor so that he could be resuscitated.

"Okay," he practically whispered as he slipped his hand out of Sanji's and slowly walked to the door, but once he reached the door, he stopped.

"And Sanji?" Zoro asked, turning his head to the side to look at him with his one eye.

"Hm?" Sanji hummed, curious as to why he stopped as he slightly lifted his head in interest.

"I _was_ the most worried about you, and just so you know, I'm also the most relieved," he mumbled as a heavy blush blessed his tanned cheeks.

He saw Sanji's utterly bewildered countenance and before Sanji could say or do anything, Zoro was out the door and running to find Chopper, practically vanishing before Sanji's eyes.

'_And_ _I love you too, Shitty-cook,'_ Zoro thought as he ran to the deck.

"Hm?" Franky hummed as he looked back to see what all the thudding was about, only to find Zoro slightly huffing.

"Huh? Zoro? What's wrong? Is something wrong with Sanji?" Franky questioned, concern drenching his voice as he stood up away from a project of his, wiping his greasy hands with a ratty rag.

Zoro ignored his question and asked one of his own: "Where is Chopper?"

Franky squinted at Zoro with suspicion.

"Um, he's in the kitchen with Robin, Nami, Luffy, Brook, and Usopp. They're all having lunch right now. Zoro, what the fuck is all of this about?" Franky huffed as he crossed his large arms and practically glared at Zoro.

All the while, Zoro just stood there, his eyes slightly widened and eyebrows cringing in confusion.

_'Franky… never speaks like that to his nakama…'_ Zoro thought in bewilderment as he stared back. '_Maybe he's just irritated because of Sanji's condition and the fact that none of them could do anything to help.'  
_  
Franky seemed to grow impatient very quickly at Zoro's silence and before Franky could say anything, Zoro hurried to answer.

"Sanji woke up," he blurted out in such a placid tone that Franky almost missed what he'd said, but Zoro knew he'd heard him once he saw his eyes grew impossibly large.

"Well say that in the first place! Go get Chopper and tell him!" Franky yelled comically as his teeth sharpened, and Zoro headed towards the kitchen.

"That's why I asked you where he was," Zoro said as he slammed the kitchen door open. Every occupant in the room – except for Luffy - looked up from their food to see who had entered, and all of them had surprise written on their faces, but Zoro didn't care about that. Once he saw the cute little fluff ball, his eyes locked onto him and he walked to him.

"Huh? What is it, Zoro? Are you okay? Did something happen with Sanji?" Chopper questioned, completely forgetting his plate of pasta and turning towards the man walking to him, who had ignored him until he stood directly in front of him.

When Zoro stood in front of Chopper, he spoke.

"Sanji woke up," he said in a calm, soft tone as he gave the little reindeer a small smile. Once Zoro had said this, the whole entire room fell into silence. Zoro felt all of the eyes in the room bore into him, letting the information sink in, but Zoro only looked at Chopper, ignoring the stares and waiting for the little doctor to jump into action.

It took Chopper about a minute to fully process what Zoro had said, and once he did, his concern quickly turned to a mix of surprise and relief as he jumped down and ran to the door connecting to the infirmary.

"Thanks, Zoro!" Chopper yelled over his shoulder before he opened the door, ran in and slammed it.

The loud bang of the door seemed to snap everyone out of their daze while Zoro released a sigh and turned to the door closest to the deck to wait in front of the other infirmary door, but before he could leave, he was stopped.

"Zoro, does he seem to be… okay?" Luffy asked in a serious tone, pausing in his eating to make sure he heard Zoro clearly. Zoro knew what he was asking without him explicitly explaining himself. He was asking about Sanji's mental state, because surly someone who was tortured had the very high chance of being scarred mentally in some way.

Zoro could feel his gaze piercing into his back, but all Zoro did was turn his head and said with a smile over his shoulder:  
"Yeah, he said that it's gonna' take a hell of a lot more to break him… and he seemed to be telling the truth."

"Good," Luffy chuckled as a huge smile played on his youthful face. Zoro chuckled himself and left the kitchen before he was bombarded with other questions from his remaining crewmates.

Besides, Zoro decided that waiting in front of the infirmary door was a better use of his time than to answer questions he either didn't know the answer to or he didn't want to answer. So, as he made his way to the other infirmary door, his thoughts were filled with Sanji and what he was going to say once he got him alone.

: -:

"Sanji?"

Sanji snapped his head to the door once he hear a large bang, only to see Chopper panting and looking at him with wide eyes.  
"Yo, Chopper, what's up?" Sanji said with a soft smile as he watched the reindeer try to catch his breath.

As soon as Chopper had managed to regulate his breathing, he was next to Sanji and examining him to make sure that he was going to be fine.

"You really scared us, Sanji," Chopper began with a small sullen voice that made Sanji feel a bit guilty as he worked away.

"Well it's not like I _asked_ to be kidnapped and be used as a pin cushion, you know," Sanji sighed casually as he watched Chopper perform his tasks, but once he'd finished, Chopper tensed.

"I know that. It's just… sorry," Chopper began angrily with his shoulders tensed but ended with a sad tone, shoulders slumping. All the anger, frustration, and stress bunched in his narrow small shoulders seemed to have dissipated once he apologized. Sanji directed a kind smile his way.

"It's okay," he said in an effort to comfort his little nakama, reaching out to his to pat his head.

"But, Sanji," Chopper started, raising his head with tears in his eyes, voice strained from withheld emotions threatening to burst out.

"It's not okay. You shouldn't have gone through that! If we'd been faster! We could have prevented that! We could have prevented what had happened to you! We could have!" Chopper wept, rubbing his hooves into his eyes as he bent his head downwards and his shoulders shook with the force of his sobs.

Chopper's sudden crying caused Sanji to just lay there, stunned and puzzled. He had no idea what to do. He didn't think that what had happened to him would have affected his crew so much…

"Chopper," Sanji said softly, waiting for the doctor to calm down a bit before continuing. Chopper seemed to sense this, so he forced himself to calm down enough so he could hear him, and once he calmed down, Sanji began to speak.

"It's okay, Chopper. I'm fine. You saved me just in time. If you guys had arrived any later, then I would've been a goner. It's thanks to you and everyone else that I'm still here. Besides, it'll take a lot more than that to fuck with my head." Sanji smiled and he comforted the little reindeer.

At first Chopper didn't seem to believe him, but after a few minutes of staring into Sanji's honest eyes, Chopper seemed to have given up on denying that Sanji was telling him the truth.

Though Sanji could see why none of his nakama would believe him at first, and to be completely honest, he was a bit more self-conscious about his hands. That man came a bit too close to his hands with the scalpel, with cutting off bits of his forearm, but other than that, Sanji could honestly say that he was unaffected by his 'torture' psychologically.

"You seem to be okay, everything's normal, all you need to do is just rest," Chopper stated happily, but suddenly Chopper's shoulders slumped once again and his eyes and ears fell downwards, and before Sanji could ask what was wrong, he spoke in one of the most heartbroken tones Sanji has ever heard.

"But, Sanji… everything still isn't okay…"

"What do you mean?" Sanji asked, his curly eyebrow curling even more as his eyebrows came together.

"Zoro," Chopper began as he sniffled. "Zoro was so… broken when you were unconscious. He was so… so…" Chopper stopped himself once his voice started cracking.

"He was so… what?" Sanji asked in a very hollow tone. Sanji could feel his insides churn as his frown deepened and his eyes narrowed in sadness, anticipating what he already knew was the likely answer to his question.

_'Damn it, Zoro. Just stop… stop destroying yourself, you bastard. Can't you see you're hurting us? Why? Why do you do this? I just want to understand. I'm here for you. I want to help you. If you can't catch yourself, I want to be the net that can catch you. I love you, Zoro. So stop,_' Sanji thought as he waited for Chopper to gather himself, and once he had, he spoke in a slightly shaky voice.

"He was so sad. He never left your side for anything, other than to use the bathroom. He never left to eat." Sanji visibly cringed at this, and Chopper noticed, but he was too consumed in what he was saying that he just continued as if he didn't see anything. "He never left to drink anything, and he never left to train. I had to force him to eat and drink whatever was left, and he always left food on his plate for, either Luffy to eat or for me to eat. He was so torn up and sad! But, he didn't _look_ it while he was _in_ here. The only time he looked horrible was when I was done with your surgery, and Sanji, he looked so wretched. I can't forget how he looked. His eyes were red and swollen. He looked like absolute shit and I couldn't - I can't help him! Sanji! He's so good at hiding his emotions! He looked like his old aloof self the entirety of the rest of the time, but I knew! I knew he wasn't okay and that he was worse than the rest of us, but!" Chopper gritted his teeth in irritation as he tried to calm himself down. Sanji waited in a tense, stunned silence as he watched Chopper calm himself, and once Chopper was ready, he continued in a defeated tone.

"But I couldn't do anything… All I could do was watch over him. That's all I could do," Chopper finished, plopping himself onto Sanji's bed, sitting at the edge and looking at his little hooves in sadness, waiting for Sanji to say something.

But Sanji was too stunned and distraught to come up with a response.

_'Zoro was that worried? Why?! Why was he so goddamned worried?! Worried to the point that he wouldn't take care of himself in the slightest! Damn him! Don't do that to yourself, shitty moss-ball! Don't! Don't hurt yourself… Why? Why worry for _me_ that much?'_ Sanji thought as he tried his best to not get teary-eyed. Zoro shouldn't care for him to this point… He shouldn't do such flattering yet concerning things…

"Sanji?"

"Hm?" Sanji hummed absentmindedly as he tried to sort out his thoughts and feelings. He was angry with Zoro for neglecting his own health, but he was also flattered, touched, and felt all fuzzy and warm on the inside at the thought that Zoro had stayed with him and had been concerned. But soon enough, Sanji decided that he was really pissed at him for neglecting his health and for doing such worrisome things.

"I have some things to tell you," Chopper said with a certain seriousness in his voice that gained Sanji's undivided attention.

"Hm? What is it?"

"I found out some stuff about Zoro's depression."

"Wait. Zoro didn't say if he had depression, right?"

"Well, no, but it's pretty freaking obvious he has it. After seeing him like that, like such a train wreck, I'm convinced," Chopper said with finality. Sanji stared into his determined brown eyes, and after a few moments, gave a slight nod as he drew in a breath.

"Okay, so what is it that you want to tell me?" Sanji asked as he exhaled, silently accepting the reality of the situation and somewhat dreading what he was about to hear next.

"First of all, I've found several therapy treatments," Chopper started, but was quickly cut off by a certain chef.

"Well that's good!" Sanji shouted in excitement, a wide grin playing on his face. However, he quickly picked up Chopper's serious manner and his smile slowly dissolved as Chopper continued in a monotone voice once Sanji quieted.

"Yeah, but I also found more stuff about depression that I want to tell you. I kind of want a second opinion on this. I want to see if you agree that Zoro shows these symptoms," Chopper ended with a slight sigh as he walked over to his desk to grab a piece of paper, waiting for Sanji to say something, and as Chopper turned to go back to his spot on the bed, Sanji spoke.

"Um, yeah, sure go ahead. Oh, but before you go on, I just wanted to tell you something."

"Sure, what is it?"

"Zoro said he'll talk to me," Sanji informed nonchalantly, trying not to seem too happy about the fact, and once Chopper processed the information, he squealed in delight.

"Finally! Some good news! That's actually one type of therapy! Just having the patient talk it out with someone! This is a step in the right direction! Alright!" he shouted as he threw both hooves into the air and giggle in delight.

"Okay, okay, Chopper. Go on with what you were going to tell me," Sanji said with a slightly sullen voice and a small melancholy smile, just wanting to get this part over with so he could talk to his marimo.

"Oh, well," Chopper began, looking down at his paper as his legs dangled off the side of the bed. "These symptoms pertain to only men."

"Eh? There are different symptoms for different sexes?"

"Yeah," Chopper replied, taking a breath before he continued in his doctor voice. "Men are more prone to turn to substances while they're depressed. In other words, they're more prone to drinking or drug use. Men are also more reckless and quick to anger while depressed. It's like they turn their feelings of despair into intense anger. Men are also more prone to just engulf themselves in their work rather than talking to someone, unlike women. Women mull over everything, ultimately making their depression intensify. Anyways… While women are more prone to attempt suicide, men are more successful in doing the act rather than women… Zoro hasn't gotten to that point – assuming that's the case – but the last part is just for you to know… anyways… what do you think?" Chopper asked a bit uncertainly, almost as if he didn't want to know. Sanji just sat in stunned silence, absolutely dumbfounded. He was so shocked that he barely registered that Chopper was calling his name.

"Sanji?" Chopper called in concern, waving a hoof in front of his face to gain his attention.

"Huh? Oh, uh," Sanji began in a flustered manner, but after a few shaky breaths, he gathered himself and answered the damn question.

"Well, yeah. Zoro's been drinking more sake than ever, practically trying to drown himself in it. He's also probably the _most_ reckless human being I have ever met. I mean he has no devil fruits power and is still doing outrageous shit! He's also one of the most closed off people I have ever seen. He's tight-lipped. I mean, he's kept this whole depression thing from us all this time," Sanji explained in the most casual tone he could pull off, but in reality, he felt himself being chipped away. He just wanted Zoro to cry on his shoulder and for him to feel better once and for all. He knew that was a tall order, but it was something he wanted to do nonetheless.

"Yeah," Chopper muttered, bringing Sanji back into reality. "I'll go get Zoro for you two to talk."

"Huh?"

"Well, we know he needs this, so why wait? I'll go get him. Do you want to sit up? I could get you some pillows so you could sit up," Chopper said in a very nonchalant tone as he hopped off the bed. Sanji looked at the little doctor with wonder as to how he seems fine now, but he didn't dwell on it, he had a more pressing matter to attend to.

"Yeah, I would like to sit up, and once that's done, go get him," Sanji said kindly as he watched Chopper pad around to fulfill his wish.

Once Sanji was sitting up comfortably, he bid Chopper farewell and waited for the moss-ball to enter, and soon enough, he did.

As soon as Sanji saw the head of green hair he'd learnt to love, he smiled a loving yet melancholy smile, thinking that he was going to have a long sad talk ahead of him and that he should greet him in the most casual way possible to make this whole talking thing easier for the both of them. So, he quickly replaced his smile with his trademark smirk and spoke his mind.

"Welcome back, shitty swordsman."

: -:

Zoro had been waiting for two hours now. Why the hell was Chopper taking so long? Was he talking to Sanji, or what?

Zoro was seriously worried. It was almost dinnertime now and Sanji had been awake for a long time and Chopper had been in there for quite a while. Was something wrong with Sanji? Was it because Zoro hadn't told Chopper that Sanji was awake sooner? Had Zoro fucked something up again?

Zoro couldn't help but wonder even though he knew it was irrational.

Before he could start to pull his hair out due to his anxiety, the door opened and the little reindeer padded out. Chopper didn't seem to notice Zoro until he cleared his throat to get his attention. Chopper jumped, startled at the "sudden" presence, and before he could say anything, Zoro asked him the question that had been eating him from the inside out.

"Is Sanji okay?" Zoro asked, trying to act as casually as possible, only to fail slightly when his voice betrayed him by shaking a little.

He saw Chopper's eyes soften at this, but what Zoro noticed most of all was his calm demeanor, which made Zoro feel like he was finally breathing a breath fresh air for once.

"Yeah, he's fine. All he needs is rest, but you can go in to talk to him. I'll ask everyone else to leave you two alone until you either come out, or say it's okay for them to come in, okay? Either that, or they could come in real quick and then I can ward them off so you can stay back and talk to him," Chopper offered, trying to be nonchalant, but it was apparent that he was a bit on edge since his ear twitched in slight nervousness.

Zoro smiled and figured that Sanji had told the little doctor that they were going to talk, and he quickly made his decision.

"I'd like to talk to him before everyone else. At least that way he'll have time to process everything and it'll give him a chance to cheer up," Zoro said softly yet ambiguously as he walked past Chopper and into the infirmary, and as he passed the doctor, he saw Chopper give a slight nod indicating that he'd heard Zoro's choice and wasn't going to question him.

Once he was in the infirmary, he locked the door so then their talk wouldn't get interrupted, and before he could even turn around he heard the voice he'd found himself always longing to hear: "Welcome back, shitty swordsman."

: -:

Zoro turned around to see the cocky grin he loved and the deep blue eyes that seemed to consume him. Zoro's heart fluttered a bit in his chest, but it quickly died down once he remembered why he was here. So instead of throwing back an insult at Sanji, he just grunted, pulled up that shitty godforsaken chair to face Sanji, and sat in it.

He was here to divulge, not strike up some idle chitchat.

"So," Sanji began awkwardly, not really sure where the hell to start, but Zoro quickly cut in, preventing him from saying any more.

"Where do you want to start?" Zoro asked in a very serious tone, which immediately drowned out what Sanji was going to say, but left Sanji confused as to what he was being asked.

"What?"

Zoro huffed at Sanji's confusion and before Sanji could snap at him for not making any sense, Zoro slowly reached out towards him. This caused Sanji to quiet until he figured out what Zoro's motive was; it was his hand. Zoro wanted to hold his hand, probably for moral support, but to hell with that; Sanji didn't care. The gesture was adorable and he just wanted to hold his hand. So, upon realizing this, Sanji met him halfway and their hands met, wrapping around each other. Zoro's tense shoulders immediately relaxed, and after a calming breath or two, he continued with a sigh.

"Well, first of all, I know something about your torturer. So, do you want to know about that or my past first?" Zoro asked in a very grave and low voice, but Sanji had barely registered it, and as realization began to dawn on him, his countenance was slowly consumed with utter bewilderment.

"Wha- Wait a god damn minute… You know that crazy sadistic bastard?" Sanji asked, absolutely flabbergasted, but before he let Zoro answer, two more important questions came to mind and his tone turned from surprised to serious.

"Is my torturer related to your past? And is the past that you may have told anyone else on the crew a fabrication of your real past?"

Zoro's eyes twitched at Sanji's very serious, very personal questions, but Zoro had decided to tell him everything, and he was hell-bent on doing just that. So ignoring all signals in his head that were blaring and screeching at him to just run away or change the topic, he simply nodded as he redirected his gaze to the bed sheets in front of him in shame. Sanji's eyes narrowed questioningly for a moment until understanding washed over him, realizing that Zoro had answered both questions with a silent 'yes.' After a few minutes of torturous silence, Zoro heard Sanji speak in an even and calm tone.

"I would like to know who my torturer is first, if that makes it easier for you to begin with."

Zoro's eyes widened with shock as his gaze shot up to meet understanding calm blue eyes that could only belong to Sanji. Zoro took in the look of sincerity and supportiveness of the blonde, convincing himself that he wasn't just imagining an understanding chef before he took a deep breath to continue. Zoro had honestly thought that Sanji would just ask about his past first and then wonder how the torturer related to all of this, though, in retrospect, he'd always exceeded Zoro's expectations.

Zoro dropped his gaze to the bed sheets in front of him once again, and he knew that his face was contorted in pain and disgust. He tried to spit out the sentence that he'd never thought he would have say to the one that he had fallen in deep and maddening love with. It was as if he were swallowing a knife, but he managed to force it out.

"Your torturer… your torturer is my… father," Zoro hissed with a pained scowl, refusing to look at the cook and ashamed that he was even in his presence. Zoro felt his stomach clench in disgust and despair. He was sickened by the fact that he was the son of a bastard that deserved to die, and he was in anguish that he was indirectly responsible for Sanji's pain, that it was his own flesh and blood that had hurt the one he was so desperately in love with.

After he'd said that, only a tense silence filled the room.

Eventually he realized he still held the cook's hand, and he quickly began to retract his hand from Sanji's, feeling as though he had lost his right to do so, but Sanji prevented him from escaping. Sanji squeezed his hand to trap him from escaping and Zoro was so confused. He had lost this privilege, right? Why was Sanji insisting on holding his defiled, corrupted, tainted hand?

In his confusion, Zoro redirected his openly stunned gaze to the incapacitated chef and he saw something he never thought he would see after saying something so… _outrageous_ to a nakama that he loved more than he probably should.

He saw a fiery determination set on Sanji's handsome face and this further confused Zoro, his brow furrowing deeper and his eyes narrowing his disbelief.  
"Zoro. You are _not_ responsible for what that man does. You hear me?" Sanji began in a stern calm voice while he squeezed his hand, as if to make sure Zoro was listening and wasn't going to run away or disappear on him. All Zoro did was slightly gawk at him as he continued with steely resolve.

"What happened to me was not your fault. You didn't hit me, stab me, or cut me. It was that man. Now that I think about it, it makes sense that he's your father. I mean, the green hair and eyes should've been a dead give away," Sanji began with firmness but ended off with thoughtfulness as his thoughts derailed. Though, Sanji soon snapped out of his thoughts on the resemblance between Zoro and his father and continued before Zoro snapped out of his astonishment.

"Besides, I don't blame you. I won't _ever_ blame you for what happened to me. And if you still feel responsible in some roundabout way, just know that I'll forgive you no matter what you come up with in that mossy head of yours. So stop feeling so damn guilty, okay? At least not about this," Sanji said in a gentle voice as he softly looked into Zoro's stunned eyes and squeezed his hand in an effort to comfort him.

But all Zoro could do at the moment was sit and be amazed at what he'd just heard. Sanji… didn't hate him? But… but wasn't Zoro also at fault? Even if he didn't do anything, isn't that enough to be at fault? Wasn't it enough that he'd sat by and done nothing while Sanji had been hurt? Zoro knew all too well that those who choose to do nothing are just as guilty as the ones who dish out the pain and suffering. However, before Zoro thought about what he was saying, he'd already spoken: "But… how am I not at fault? I didn't do anything until it was almost too late," he whispered as he slowly shook his head and clenched onto Sanji's hand.

Sanji looked a bit stunned at the heaviness of Zoro's lightly spoken words, but a smile soon replaced his initial surprise.

"Because," Sanji began as he began to rub his thumb across the back of Zoro's hand, redirecting his peaceful gaze to their hands before continuing. "You came to save me just in time. You came for me when I needed you the most, and that's all I could really ask for. So, thank you, Zoro," he finished as he glanced between their hands to Zoro's face until he spoke his last words and slowly looked into Zoro's eyes that began to slowly narrow and wrinkle at the sides, holding back tears that begged to be shed.

"Oi," Sanji chuckled. "Don't cry on me now."

"Shut up," Zoro managed to say in a relatively monotone voice, despite the small shaking of his voice. Sanji's smile bloomed into a bright grin that caused Zoro to effortlessly smile a small smile of his own, and after a few moments of staring at each other, Zoro picked up where they left off.

"So," Zoro said before clearing his throat and shifting in his chair to get himself comfortable. "Now, let's move on to my past."

"Let's," Sanji encouraged as he shifted himself to get cozier, betting that this would take a while.

Zoro took a breath to calm himself. He'd never told another soul the whole truth and his whole past before so he was a bit edgy, but he was also a determined bastard, so he continued once he was ready, after squeezing Sanji's hand, which had also squeezed back in encouragement.

"I'll start off with how I truly started off in the dojo I trained at when I was a kid."

: -:

"Maria, what brings you here?" the middle-aged kendo sensei questioned once he opened the door to his dojo, his tone relatively emotionless except for the hint of curiosity that could have been found if one searched for it.

"Well," the raven-haired woman began in a rather defiant tone, crossing her slim, yet slightly muscular arms as a green-haired child clung to her black and white kimono, refusing to let go as he bashfully peeked at the older man. "I wanted to introduce my son, Zoro, to the dojo, Koshiro-sensei."

"Ah, well, come in. Welcome, Zoro," Koshiro replied, stepping aside to allow the two to enter, offering a casual smile as they passed by him.

"Who is this?" a bold voice asked. Zoro's head immediately snapped upwards to see a girl who was not much older than himself. She was dressed in a dojo uniform, barefooted, and had dark hair and eyes. She had a frown on her face as she directed a glare towards Zoro, causing Zoro to look away from her. He opted to look at the floor instead of her as he shuffled awkwardly.

"This is Zoro, Kuina. He's going to be training with us for a while, right, Maria?" Koshiro asked placidly as he looked at Zoro's mother, who had just smiled at him in return and replied with a 'yes.'

After that, Zoro had been going to the dojo every day for a month now, however, he never broke out of his shell. He barely spoke a word to anyone, not even to his own mother, who dropped him off and picked him up every day. He seemed to talk to her the most, despite the minimal amount of words he would offer to her.

However, the mother seemed to not really care for what Zoro had to say. Even if she had a smile on her face, Kuina could tell that his mother didn't care, and she was almost certain that Zoro knew this too, based on his saddened appearance each time after talking with her.

This bugged Kuina to no end, so the next day, she decided to talk to Zoro about it. She went up to Zoro during his stretches just before the next lesson.  
"Oi, Zoro?" she asked, curiosity drenching her voice, as she was just dying to know more about this quiet boy. Zoro turned at the sound of her voice, halting his present activities to address her, but as he stood in front of her, she noticed his hunched shoulders, and she noticed that he avoided making eye contact as he shuffled uncomfortably under her stare. She also noticed several bruises and cuts that just didn't seem right. However, she quickly dismissed it, continuing with her initial goal.

"What's up with your mom?" Kuina asked as she crossed her arms. Zoro hadn't expected this so he was left a stuttering mess.

"H-huh? Wh-wha-what do you mean?"

"Ugh, just tell me what her problem is. You talk to her the most, yet she doesn't seem to care about what you have to say," she said in a slightly annoyed tone as she huffed, waiting for an answer.

But, with how shocked Zoro was, she had to wait a bit longer than she wanted to, and before she could say anything to snap him out of his daze, it was her turn to be shocked. Zoro looked so sad, like he'd given up, but was still down about it. He was looking away from her with narrowed, saddened eyes and a melancholy smile.

"Well," he spoke up with a sigh, capturing her attention. "It's because she doesn't care."

"What?"

Zoro huffed and looked at her with his slightly opened, wretched eyes. He knew he was showing his emotions, and to a girl he didn't know all that well, no less. But he could hardly take it anymore, so he just kind of exploded. He uncapped the bottle that he'd been keeping his emotions in before it could overflow.

"She doesn't care about me, okay?! All she cares about is her own training. She's a swordswoman herself, and she's so focused on that that she doesn't care about me in the slightest. I heard her talking to dad about it before. It was nighttime and I was supposed to be in bed but, I woke up from a nightmare and I was going to go and ask if I could sleep with them, but then I heard things I wish I hadn't… She said that she wished she hadn't had me 'cause I just 'keep her away from her training.' I'm 'just a distraction.' She pretends to care, but I know she doesn't. She sighs every time she's done talking to me. I even heard her say to dad that the only reason she sends me here is so then she has more time for herself. She even thinks picking me up and dropping me off is 'too troublesome', but dad said that as long as she did that, he would take care of the rest. But I still have no idea what he was talking about," Zoro trailed off as he stared at the space between them. After a few long, tense moments of silence, Zoro chanced a glance at Kuina, but he regretted it immediately, feeling even worse than he'd felt before and not really knowing why. She looked so shocked, horrified and sad all at the same time that it made Zoro feel bad that he'd made her like this, and after a few more moments, Zoro turned away.

"Sorry."

This small apology snapped Kuina out of her trance and she immediately felt horrible. Zoro didn't deserve any of that, and he didn't need to apologize for something that was for one, not his fault, and for two, something she'd practically forced him to divulge.

"No, don't be. I'm sorry that all of that had happened. You don't deserve that. You deserve better," she said in a soft comforting voice, causing Zoro to freeze. He slowly turned back around to face her and she had a gentle smile on her face. This stunned Zoro to no end. He was shocked to see the top student who was usually stern to smiling at him with such delicacy. But soon he snapped out of his daze and he quickly looked away from her.

"It's okay. I'm fine," Zoro said blandly, and before Kuina could say anything, Koshiro was announcing that the lesson was going to start soon, so the two took off and began their own training.

After another month or so, Zoro was the second best at the dojo, with Kuina holding first place, of course. Before Zoro could even become irritated at his lack of skill and develop a dream that would carry him to where he was presently, he started off as a timid, insecure, bashful kid, though despite his shy personality, he was very talented and worked extremely hard. He was a natural, a protégée. He was very impressive for a boy his age.

One day, this gifted boy walked to the dojo all by himself; his mother was nowhere in sight. Kuina and Koshiro noticed this, exchanged a concerned look, and went over to their dazed, young friend. He seemed… lost?

"Oi, Zoro, what's wrong?" Koshiro asked as he knelt in front of the boy, placing his hands on his small, slack shoulders. Zoro didn't seem to have registered that Koshiro was speaking to him; he just stared absentmindedly ahead, his face remaining blank and eyes distant.

"Zoro?" Kuina called, hoping that he would just tell them what was wrong. This seemed to grab his attention and he regarded them.  
"Huh?"

"What's wrong?" Kuina asked concerned with what was wrong with her rival and best friend. Zoro had never looked this… distant before, and this was really making Kuina worry.

"Uh, nothing. Nothing's wrong," Zoro lied, though he knew that these two wouldn't believe him at this point, since he knew he probably looked upset.

"If nothing's wrong, where is Maria?" Koshiro asked gently but with certain firmness in his voice that told Zoro that he should answer truthfully no matter what. Zoro gulped as he hesitated, but before anyone else could speak, he began to cry.

"Mom… left me. She said she only thought of me as a 'distraction' and she couldn't take it, so… she left… and then… and then, she said she'd picked her swordsmanship over me and then… a-and then…" Zoro managed to say through his sobs but he finally broke down and wept.

Kuina stood in astonishment as Koshiro just wrapped his arms around the broken-hearted boy.

"Wha-what?" Kuina whispered as she put a hand over her slightly agape mouth.

"Zoro," Koshiro said firmly as he pulled away to look at the sniffling boy, and once Zoro quieted a bit, he continued, "Maria, your mother, has her priorities all wrong. She's either confused or dumb, because her priority should be you, rather than her swordsmanship. Always remember that. Remember that your relationships should be held close to your heart, don't throw them away. Don't choose between what you want; go for what you want with all of your might. Instead of choosing between two things, try to figure out a way to get them both," he finished, pulling in a stunned Zoro for another comforting hug.

Zoro couldn't believe what he'd just been just told, and to be frank, he didn't quite understand everything, but he knew that he was basically being told to not to be like his mom.

To be honest, he didn't want to be like her. Even at such a young age, Zoro understood the importance of other people. He'd learned to understand that in the past two months with these two, and instead of saying anything, Zoro simply nodded as he let himself stay in a hug that he'd always secretly longed for.

Then after Zoro had stopped crying, he'd tuckered himself out and fell asleep, completely skipping the lesson that day, but Koshiro never say anything about it, so neither did Zoro once he woke up. Then, the next day was just like any normal day; greetings, lessons, training hard, then saying farewell to repeat the same thing again the next day, yet Zoro never felt as though it was tiring. If anything, going to the dojo became the only thing he looked forward to the next morning. Despite the fact that swordsmanship took his mother away from him, it also provided him with a kind of comfort that he couldn't quite explain. He wished it would have stayed like this for longer than six months, but one day, just when Zoro was about to go home, his father showed up to the dojo.

Zoro's father was a tall, well-built man with green hair and eyes. He had a confident air around him, and he'd always pull off a silky smile. He had on his marine uniform, which meant that he just come off of work. All of this surprised Zoro, Koshiro, and Kuina.

"Hey, Koshiro." Zoro's father greeted as he simply passed by Zoro. He acted as if as if he weren't even there, and as he walked passed, Zoro immediately snapped his eyes away from his father to look at the ground. Koshiro took notice of this, but decided to stay quiet about it for now.

"Hello, Osamu-san, how may I help you?" Koshiro questioned, shock and curiosity filling his voice, but he remained skeptical. Zoro's father had never showed up in the time that Zoro has been attending his dojo, and now, all of a sudden, he'd shown up? Something was off and Koshiro knew it.

"Well," he began cheerfully with his signature smile, but suddenly the comforting air around him turned cold just like his eyes and voice did when he continued, "Can you keep him for a while?"

"What?" Koshiro asked dumbly as Zoro's eyes narrowed and his shoulders slacked… almost in relief?

"Can you keep him?" Osamu repeated with the same amount of callousness as he had before. Only this time, despite his relief to get away, Zoro felt hurt all at the same time, which confused him a bit, but he decided to not dwell upon it for now and opted to listen to the conversation currently taking place.  
"Uh, sure, but may I ask why? Just out of curiosity."

"Partly because of work, and partly because you guys may be the only ones to keep the kid. I'm not goin' to be able to stay home for long periods of time, so I need someone to look after this brat while I'm gone. Don't want him causing trouble now," Osamu replied as he turned around, and before anyone could say anything else, he said a quick, casual word of thanks and left immediately after telling Zoro to go get his stuff from home to bring it here.

A suffocating silence invaded the small dojo once that man had left, and once a few minutes had passed, Zoro began to leave.

"Uh," Kuina piped up for the first time, grabbing Zoro's attention. Zoro halted at the sound of her voice and looked over his shoulder at her, and to her utter astonishment, he seemed to be unfazed.

"What?" Zoro asked casually after a few moments of silence. This snapped Kuina out of her daze and she continued.

"Don't tell me you're okay with your father leaving you too? Haven't you lost enough?" Kuina asked as the tears threatened to fall, but all Zoro did was stare at her, and before she could come up with anything to say to him, he spoke words that she'd never thought she'd hear from a kid his age. Even Koshiro, who was silently standing, watching this conversation unfold, was stunned and heartbroken at his response:  
"I can't lose things that were never really mine in the first place, right?" he'd replied in a hollow tone, and before anyone could stop him or say anything, he left to gather his things.

After that scene, a week had passed, and Zoro tried his best to be himself, as to not worry his new 'family.' He mostly kept to himself, he talked when necessary, he trained daily, and he put his all into training. Day in and day out was the same. He may have been extremely introverted and insecure, but he was damn good with a sword, and that's all that was really important in a dojo, so he was more or less fine. But then, at the end of the week, a certain nosy girl began to ask him questions he didn't really want to answer.

"Oi, Zoro, why are you always so unsure of yourself? You're good with a sword, not as good as me, of course, but still. Oh and why are you always so… so careful about everyone?"

"I'm not," he said in a small voice, looking at everything except her, which kind of ticked her off.

"You won't even look at me when you talk!" she huffed, but she soon felt bad about what she had said once she looked at his face.

His eyes turned cold and empty, and before she could say sorry, he turned around and left.

She had no idea as to what to do, so she told her father about everything she'd noticed about Zoro and said to him, and he quickly became suspicious and concerned, so he searched for Zoro with Kuina in tow.

After about ten minutes of searching, he saw the boy sitting in the storage room.

"Zoro?" he called, seeing the boy jump at the sudden noise.

"What?" he replied as he turned to see Koshiro enter the room to sit next to him, only to see Kuina trailing behind.

"We just wanted to make sure you were okay," Koshiro said in a soft comforting voice as he patted Zoro's head, with Kuina nodding in agreement. Zoro huffed at this and turned his gaze to a seemingly interesting spot on the floor.

After a few minutes of constricting silence, Koshiro finally spoke.

"What is it that is bothering you, Zoro? Is it your father?"

Zoro stiffened at this, a soft gasp escaping from him as he snapped his eyes up to Koshiro, who appeared sad as he figured out that that was the reason as to why Zoro was upset.

"What is it about your father that's bothering you? Is it because he left you here?" Koshiro asked tenderly as he rubbed Zoro's head. Zoro stayed silent for a few moments before he spoke.

"No… It's… because of the things he always said about me…"

"The things he said about you?" Koshiro asked in a whisper, suddenly dreading what he was about to hear, knowing that it was going to be heartbreaking.  
"Yeah," Zoro began as he hugged his knees and looked at the ground with jaded eyes. Silence invaded the room again, and after a few minutes, Zoro continued.  
"He always said things about me, bad things, like how I wasn't good enough. Or like how it was my fault that mom left us. He told me he didn't like me. He told me I couldn't do things and that I'm a failure. He's never happy when I'm around him. He's always said things about me, bad things, like how I'm a 'bad kid', or the 'devil's child'," Zoro said placidly, almost as if he were just talking about the weather.

He was so casual and nonchalant about it that it broke Koshiro's heart, since Koshiro _knew_ that he was anything _but_ casual and nonchalant. The kid was trying to be tough, but his soft sniffling gave him away. Koshiro pulled this kid into a hug as Kuina began to silently cry.

"W-what?" Zoro asked, confused as to why he was being hugged while tears streamed down his face. He'd barely noticed that he'd started to cry. When had that happened?

"It's okay now, Zoro," Koshiro whispered into his hair. Zoro's eyes widened in shock as he absorbed what he was being told, his tears continued to pour out of his eyes unwillingly. "It's okay now. You have a new family that's here for you. You don't have to be fearful. You don't have to keep a tough face. We are here you, do you understand?"

"N-no," Zoro whispered as his sobs began to take over. "No, I don't understand. W-why do you care?"

"Because," Kuina began as she got her own sobs in control. Both Zoro and Koshiro looked at her, almost forgetting that she was here. " Because we love you. You're family. We think of you as family, Zoro. That's why."

Zoro stared back and forth between the two with astonished, wet eyes, and they both stared back at him with honest smiles. Then, after fully absorbing her words, he wept. He wept until he couldn't shed a single tear more, and after he was finished, he immediately fell asleep in Koshiro's arms, only to be carried to his new room and wake up to a bright morning full of bright smiles and adventures to be had for three whole years.

: -:

"Now look who's crying," Zoro sighed as he rubbed the back of his neck with the hand that wasn't being squished to death. Sanji was sitting there, clutching his hand and had tears threatening to fall at the corners of his eyes.

"Shut up!" Sanji yelled as he sniffled a bit and rubbed both of his eyes with his other hand, soaking up the moisture before he continued to yell at Zoro.

"I mean, what the fuck! You shouldn't have had to go through that," Sanji started to yell, but ended with a concerned mumble, as he looked down to the bed sheets, all of which caused Zoro to chuckle softly.

"What?!" Sanji snapped at him, but as soon as Sanji met his eyes, all of his anger flew away. Zoro looked serene as a small smile blessed his tanned features. Sanji was at a loss for words as he took in his countenance, and before Sanji could make a fool of himself by saying unnecessary crap, Zoro luckily butted in.

"All of that happened so long ago, and besides, that wasn't even the sad part."

"What!? It wasn't?!" Sanji shouted in surprise, only to be answered with a nod. Sanji quickly fell silence after his response, which made Zoro curious as to why.

"What?" Zoro asked, trying to grab his attention, wondering what was going on in that curly head of his.

"That's… really too much for a kid. Your mother didn't care and left. Then your dad verbally abused you, and then left too. I mean, what the fuck," Sanji mumbled as he glared glumly at the space between him and Zoro. A downhearted silence fell over the room until a certain marimo eventually broke it.

"Hm," Zoro hummed in thought, catching Sanji's attention, and curiosity.

"What?"

"I never thought about it like that. He really _did_ verbally abuse me, huh?"

"Eh?!"

"What?" Zoro asked flinching at Sanji's volume, wondering why Sanji had a sudden outburst, only to see his bewildered expression. However, before he could ask what was wrong, Sanji answered the unspoken question.

"How can you _not_ figure out that he was _verbally abusing_ you?!" he shouted as his curly eyebrow furrowed and he clenched his fist in irritation at Zoro's stupidity. But instead of shouting back, Zoro remained calm.

"Well," he began placidly, which seemed to irritate Sanji further, but Zoro just continued as if he hadn't notice. "Let's just say that it's not the first thing that comes to mind. Who would want to think that their parent, a person that was supposed to love them, was verbally abusing them? Besides, I was more concerned about _why_ he was saying what he was saying. I wasn't concerned about _what_ he was doing. I just wanted to know why, and how to get him to stop. But when I realized that it was no use, I focused on avoiding him, so that at least I didn't have to hear it."

This immediately made all of Sanji's anger seep out of him. Zoro had a point; he was right. Verbal abuse wasn't the first thing to come to mind. Hell, Sanji himself may not have figured it out at first. Besides, Zoro was a _child_. What would a kid know about verbal abuse?

"S-sorry," Sanji mumbled as he glanced between Zoro's eyes and the space between them. This had surprised Zoro, but he quickly recovered from his shock and squeezed Sanji's hand, causing Sanji to blush slightly and to look into his soft, marimo-green eyes.

"It's okay, now should I continue? Or are you done hearing about my past?"

"Continue, you shitty moss-ball. I'm not one for cliffhangers, and I'm here to listen, so as long as you're still willing to talk, I'll still be willing to listen," Sanji replied with his cocky smirk as he squeezed Zoro's hand comfortingly, causing Zoro's heart to melt in his chest. He almost caused all of the negativity in Zoro's mind and heart to melt. Almost.

"You sure, Curlicue?"

"Yeah," Sanji replied with his prior steadfast determination. Zoro sighed and smirked in defeat.

"Okay," He stared, releasing a breath before he continued once again. "Right about then… something really horrible happened. It's probably the worst thing that's ever happened to me, and I only say that because from then on, my entire life changed, and not for the better."


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15  
*****Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece or any of its wonderful characters.  
A special thank you goes out to HadenxCharm, my wonderful beta-reader. Anyways, thank you so much for reading. Please enjoy!*****  
**

"What… do you mean?" Sanji asked hollowly as he looked down at the bed sheets, causing his bangs to fall over his eyes. His words confused Zoro at first, but soon after his confusion, he understood. Sanji must be shocked or saddened about what he had said, but he explained himself nonetheless.

"Eh, uh, I mean that after three years of being with them, something… horrendous… happened," Zoro mumbled as he glanced back and forth between Sanji and a random spot on the wall behind him, seeing the cook's shoulders tense and immediately feeling insecure, uncomfortable, and awful. He didn't what to burden or worry Sanji. Sanji needed to rest, not get stressed or anxious.

Moreover, Zoro had never spoken to anyone about what had happened, and he'd never really gotten over it. He felt choked up. He felt gravity intensify. He felt dreadful. He felt exposed, and it was fucking awful.

With the sudden rush of emotion, his resolve began to crumble, and he suddenly felt like backing out. Did he really want to recall what had happened? Hadn't he tried to forget his past all this time anyway? So why continue?

"You know," Zoro breathed, almost as if he were solemnly contemplating something as he sat back and slouched in that damn chair, lightly pulling Sanji's hand in the process which caused Sanji to give him his full attention and look up at him with a curious blue eye.

"You don't have to sit here and listen to what happened. It was so long ago, Sanji," Zoro mumbled. His tone was hollow, but somehow it was also filled with melancholy.

Sanji felt his heart twinge with sadness and pain as he heard Zoro say this, and his emotions soon morphed into anger. He was so irritated at what had happened to Zoro. He was so irritated that he couldn't do more. He was just so _goddamn_ _irritated_.

"Shut up," Sanji hissed as his shoulders trembled in pure rage. Zoro was taken by surprise, but Sanji didn't seem to care, he just continued.

"Shut the _fuck_ up!" Sanji yelled, totally bewildering the swordsman, but Sanji couldn't help it. He was just so angry. Without thinking, he erupted, letting all of his fiery rage spew out of his mouth. "Just stop! I _want_ to help you, damn it! So stop asking if I want to stop listening, 'cause that's not gonna' fucking happen! I'll wait here for as long as it takes for you to tell me whatever the fuck you want to tell me! Be it your past or whatever shit you wanna' talk about! I don't give a fuck about _what_ it is! I just…!"

Sanji stopped suddenly, realizing that he'd just shouted his inner turmoil that he'd been harboring ever since he'd heard Zoro's… situation. Sanji blushed and was thankful that his bangs hid most of his face, and before he could embarrass himself further, Zoro spoke up.

"You just, what?" he whispered pitifully, knowing that his tone matched what he was feeling. He felt like giving up, giving up on, well, _everything_. He was so fed up with always thinking and thinking, that he just wanted to give into his emotions and be consumed in the darkness that dwelled within his heart. But Zoro held his breath once he saw Sanji's breath catch in his throat, and instead of wondering why Zoro sounded like he did, he answered him.

"I just can't stand it," he mumbled, hoping Zoro would just shrug it off and continue his story about his shitty past, but Zoro refused to let this topic go.  
"It?" Zoro asked a bit hopefully. He was incredibly curious about what Sanji meant, and instead of being calm about it, Sanji's prior irritation returned to him in renewed fiery as he gritted his teeth.

"I just can't stand it! I can't stand that all I can do is listen and hope that this can help in some way! It's so god damn irritating! Besides, I don't care if it happened a long time ago! Screw that! If it's still hurting you, then it means something, and if it means something then it shouldn't be dismissed! Who cares if it was a long time ago?! If it still affects you, then it's important and you shouldn't just shrug it off, 'cause it's just gonna' haunt you for the rest of your goddamn life!" he yelled, snapping his head up to looking into warm eyes, which immediately quieted the steamed chef. Zoro was gazing at him with soft green eyes that actually smiled a warm, yet gloomy smile.

"Thanks," Zoro muttered as he looked into Sanji's astonished eyes, and before the moment could get awkward, Zoro shifted in that fucking chair to get comfortable and continued.

"Anyways," he began in a monotone voice, snapping Sanji out of his shock, "Let's just continue where I left off."

"Y-yeah, let's," Sanji replied, regaining his composure and mentally preparing himself to hear what had never really been spoken before.

: -:

If only he could have stayed there forever.

Those three years with Koshiro and Kuina were the best he'd ever had in his extremely short life. Zoro was able to prosper into the young boy he was supposed to be; his true nature showed for everyone to see.

The once introverted, quiet, shy, withdrawn kid grew to become the confident, independent, hard-working, determined boy he was meant to be. Every day at the dojo was filled with proper meals that were shared together, joy, laughter, and training, all of which Zoro loved. His old family had never eaten together and had never laughed together. It had only ever been his dad laughing and he'd always been really mean to Zoro when he had.

But, Zoro really liked his life with Koshiro and Kuina. They were kind to him. They were also stern about training, but that wasn't a bad thing. He often chose to do some extra training alone, and they never said anything to him. They never said that it was dumb that he was doing extra or that there was no point into what he was doing. They didn't try to convince him to change his mind, so he was relieved and at peace, and with this new lighthearted feeling that he'd never really experienced before, Zoro was able to dream for the future. He dreamed that he would become the strongest swordsman in the world, and one day, three years after his dad had left him, he figured out that Kuina had the same dream as him.

"What?!" he shouted in bewilderment as he tore his eyes from the sunset to look at her in shock. They were sitting at the top of a slope near the dojo, resting from a hard day of training, until Kuina randomly asked him what his dream was.

"Yeah!" she replied as she glanced at him with a smile.

"But! That's _my_ dream!" he complained, wondering what to do now that his dream wasn't just his own, and before he could become upset about it, Kuina chuckled.

"Well," she began, regaining Zoro's attention, "It's not like I can actually make that dream come true."

"What? Why?" Zoro asked defiantly as his eyebrows drew together.

"Because I'm a girl," she answered solemnly, looking down at her feet in dejection.

Zoro sat in stunned silence for a second before he shot up to his feet and boldly shouted at her. "Who cares if you're a girl?! You're strong! You've beaten me a lot of times already! I won't accept this from someone who has beaten me so many times! So why don't we just share our dream?!"

Kuina's eyes grew extremely large as she heard what Zoro had to say. This kid who was so shy before was actually encouraging her and yelling at her? This thought made her chuckle as she rose to her feet.

"What's so funny?! Huh?!" Zoro yelled as he crossed his arms, but all she did was raise her hand with her pinky finger sticking out towards him and had a large grin on her face.

"Let's promise that one of us will make our dream come true!"

"Yeah! It's a promise!" Zoro said with enthusiasm as he stuck out his pinky to seal their promise.

"Alright!" Kuina shouted as she turned to the path of the dojo. "Let's go home!" she shouted as she began to walk in that direction.

"Dad said we're gonna' have sushi tonight! You haven't had sushi before, right?" she asked as she looked over her shoulder to see Zoro run to catch up to her.  
"Yeah!" he shouted in excitement. He'd been asking for sushi ever since he'd heard from another kid that it was amazing. So, in a rush to get home, the two raced back, competing who would reach there first, not expecting what would welcome them when they arrived.

Once they threw open the door, they sensed that something was… _off_. Kuina glanced back at Zoro, who'd just looked up at her with concern, but before he could ask what she thought was wrong; she raised a finger to her lips to shush him.

Then, she began to silently walk over to the main room where Koshiro's classes took place, and once she saw what was in that room, she froze. Her whole body stiffened. Her eyebrows shot upwards as her eyes widened and mouth gaped.

Astonishment overtook her, and shortly after seeing her bewildered demeanor, Zoro was right next to her. He was very curious as to what had shocked this strong girl, and he quickly regretted giving in to his cursed inquisitiveness. Instead of being consumed by shock like her, he was dropped into the pits of despair.  
It was his father, and he was sitting across from Koshiro, who seemed to be very serious and edgy as he looked at his father with a hard expression.

"Oh," his father said in a very cheeky tone as he looked over in the children's direction and smirked. "Well look who's back."

"Kuina, take Zoro and-"

"And what? _Koshiro_?" Zoro's father cut in harshly, hissing Koshiro's name as he got up from his spot on the floor. He turned to the two children and slowly walked to them. The tension grew with every echoing step, and with each heavy step, Zoro's fear intensified.

Once the man stood in front of Zoro, Zoro immediately snapped his head downwards, and then he heard his father chuckle right after he'd done so. Zoro was so scared as he felt a sense of doom hang over and overwhelm his small form. He'd never wanted to be this scared again. He'd never wanted to see _him_ again. Why was he here? Why?!

"I heard from Koshiro here that you're _damn_ good with a sword. I also heard that that girl next to you is better right now, but I don't need her. He said that she won't improve later on, unlike _you_, apparently," Osamu sighed in disdain as he raised his hand, causing Zoro to flinch, but Zoro only felt warmth on his head. Zoro's eyes widened in disbelief, but he didn't dare look up. Father didn't like it when Zoro looked him in the eye. He always said that he hated how Zoro looked at him, but he'd never understood what he'd meant by that.

Before Zoro could get too swept up in his thoughts, his father spoke. "Well, if that's true, why don't we give you a little test, huh? Let's see if you can _actually_ do something," Zoro's father suggested in a rather patronizingly. It was like he was expecting his son to fail but was offering obvious false encouragement anyway.  
Zoro said nothing. He didn't react in any way. He held a blank expression as he kept his eyes looking down to the floor, completely ignoring the bewildered stares that he felt on him. Despite the fact that Zoro was scared and in despair, he had to act as if this was nothing to him, or else his father would get mad and Koshiro and Kuina would see something that Zoro knew would upset them. Zoro's father seemed to be happy with this response and patted Zoro's head. Thank goodness that he didn't notice that Zoro had flinched a bit at his touch, 'cause if he had, who knows what would happen with his father being the unpredictable man that he was.

"Good, it's decided! We'll test him here tomorrow, and we'll see if he has what it takes," Osamu said with finality as he walked passed his son to the front door without a word of goodbye or even a glance in his direction.

The tension in the room stayed until they heard the door slide open then slam shut, and once they heard that door close, the tension evaporated and fresh air entered into their lungs once again.

"Zoro?" Koshiro called, breaking Zoro from his despondency. Zoro blinked and looked up to see a worried Koshiro walk towards him. Zoro was a deeply shaken by his father's visit.

He'd thought he'd gotten away from him. He'd thought that his father had left for good. He'd thought his father was done with him, but it seems as though he'd been wrong.

"Are you okay?" he asked as he pulled the child into a hug.

Zoro's eyes widened in surprise, but then he began to sniffle, holding back tears that he really wanted to let go. He knew he shouldn't cry, even though he knew they didn't care if he did; Zoro knew that crying was bad. That's what his father had taught him before.

"Y-yeah," he answered quietly, knowing that Koshiro and Kuina wouldn't believe him, but they let the matter go nonetheless. Though Kuina looked a bit upset, almost like she wanted to do something but knew she couldn't. After a bit more hugging, the small family quietly ate sushi together and went off to bed.  
Before Zoro drifted off to sleep, he remembered having a horrible feeling in his stomach about what was going to happen the next day.

Once the new day arrived, the dojo was filled with tension and anticipation for the events that were going to unfold, and after a light breakfast, Koshiro cancelled the lessons for Zoro to start the one of the worst days of his life.

When his father arrived, Zoro had just gotten done with his stretches and they immediately began Zoro's test.

His father explained to him that his test consisted of him beating everyone that his father had brought with him that day, and once Zoro heard this, he instantly felt dread consume him. His father was merciless, so whom did Zoro have to beat? Were they _really_ strong? Stronger than Kuina? Could he die during this test?  
Zoro shook his head in an attempt to clear his thoughts. He didn't want to continue thinking down a negative path since he knew that those kinds of thoughts would ruin his concentration, and just when he had cleared his mind, his test had began.

For the entirety of that day, Zoro had fought _adults_. He had fought adults before, but this time, however, he was fighting against adults that were low-ranked marines. Even if they were not as strong as the more experienced marines, they were _marines_ nonetheless. They'd gone through vigorous training just to _become_ a marine of their modest ranking, yet, despite that fact, it didn't seem to bother Zoro whatsoever when it came to fighting.

Everyone was extremely impressed with his skills and power for his age, and Zoro was confident that he could pass the test with flying colors as he breezed through his matches.

However, his confidence always withered away once a match was done, since he was conscious of his father, due to the lack of anything else to concentrate on. Whenever he was around his father, he would always revert back to his old timid self. Zoro was so cautious around him, and he never spoke to his father.  
His father didn't seem to care though. All _he_ cared about was how well Zoro was doing and how impressive his swordsmanship was.

Opponent after opponent, Zoro won, and as the day whittled away, Zoro remained undefeated.

"Okay!" his father yelled in enthusiasm, raising a hand above his head, indicating the winner of the final match as the loser was bragged out. "The brat passed?! Damn, who would've guessed he would win against thirty men?"

Though instead of a cheer, silence invaded the room; granted it was only he, Kuina, Koshiro, and Zoro in the room. The silence seemed to bug the green-haired man as he grunted in dissatisfaction and walked over to Zoro, who was shifting uncomfortably under his hostile gaze.

"Now," Osamu began in a low voice as he stood in front of Zoro, looming over him in an intimidating manner. "It looks like it's time to take you away from here."

"What?" Zoro questioned in an astonished and small voice as he unthinkingly looked up to look at his father's face.

His dad looked so cold. He'd never forget how his father had looked at him with such emotionless eyes that seemed to pierce into him and make him shiver.  
"I'm taking you with me, you little shit. Now let's get going. I never thought you would actually be useful, and now that you've proved me wrong, I'm pissed," his father hissed as he wrapped his hand around Zoro's small arm and began to drag him out, and before he could think about what he was doing, Zoro rebelled.

"W-w-what?! No! I don't want to leave! Never! You can't make me! You can't! I don't _want_ to leave!" he yelled, tears welling up in his eyes at the thought of leaving such a warm place as he tried to yank his arm out of his father's tight grasp.

Kuina stood near the door in complete shock as she witnessed what was happening while Koshiro took this opportunity to try and sneak up behind Osamu in an attempt to stop him. But Zoro's actions had deeply angered his father, causing him to do something that was so impulsive and cruel that it had scarred Zoro for as long as he'd lived. Zoro had always known that his father was unstable and irrational, but when his father was also _angry_, he never knew how far his father would go to get what he wanted, and frankly, he never wanted to know what lengths his father was willing to go in his blind, uncontrollable, unstable rage.  
"You worthless piece of _shit_!" Osamu growled as he tried to keep his grip, but then he snapped.

In his anger, he threw Zoro at Koshiro, stopping Koshiro from getting closer so he could catch the child.

Then, an abrupt shriek pierced into the night.

Zoro and Koshiro's blood ran cold as they snapped their heads upwards to where Kuina was.

There, they saw Zoro's father with a fistful of Kuina's hair to hold her in place while the other hand held a dagger to her throat.

Zoro had barely had any time to do anything, let alone breathe, before he saw his dad slit her throat.

Her blood sprayed everywhere.

It got into his eyes, his hair, all over his skin and clothes, and even into his gaping mouth. He was drenched in her blood as he watched her suffocate. Blood pumped out of her throat in time with her heartbeat. He watched her eyes go from fearful, to stunned, to lifeless in a matter of what seemed like seconds. He watched her die as his father held her up by her hair, only to drop her once he saw she was dead.

Koshiro and Zoro had gone into shock. They'd failed to protect someone they'd loved. Even when she was dropped, they couldn't do anything. They were frozen to the ground. They broke out into a cold sweat and trembled while their impossibly wide eyes looked down at Kuina's corpse.

"Come, now, Zoro," his father cooed as he walked over Kuina's dead body, past Zoro to stand next to a paralyzed Koshiro.

"Stop being such a selfish brat and come with your dad. If you don't, I'll just kill this man too. Then you'll really have no one else in this world except for me," his father jeered as he lifted his dagger up to Koshiro's neck.

Zoro jumped at what his father had said as if ice cold water had been dunked on top of his head, and he slowly looked over his shoulder to see his father hold the dagger up to Koshiro's neck.

"No… no," Zoro muttered, his voice trembling in a stunned and broken tone as he slowly turned around and shook his head. "Stop."

"Eh? What was that, _boy_?" his father growled as he pushed the dagger into Koshiro's neck, pricking his skin and allowing a drop of blood to be shed and travel down his neck. Zoro's eyes widened as tears burst out of his unblinking eyes.

"No! Stop! Stop it! Don't hurt him, father! Please, stop! I'll be a good boy! I promise! I'll go with you! Just stop hurting him!" he cried, stumbling forward to try to stop his father from killing the last member of his small family.

But before Zoro could even reach them to try to stop his father, his father had kicked him back, causing him to land on top of Kuina's corpse.  
Zoro immediately scrambled off of her and turned around just to meet her dull empty gaze and the large horrific cut that ran across her throat. The picture of her, lying lifeless in a pool of her own blood with dull eyes and a severed throat, seared into his mind as he cried even harder.

He was so miserable, guilty, useless, powerless, and wretched.

He wasn't as strong as he'd thought he was. He'd failed to protect someone he'd loved. He was _far_ too weak. He'd lost someone irreplaceable 'cause of his damn incapability to be useful. It was all his fault.

If he had just shut up and left instead of being selfish and greedy in wanting to stay with them, then she wouldn't have been killed.

"Well," Osamu said, just barely grabbing a distraught Zoro's attention. "Since you asked so nicely, I _guess_ I can spare him," he said as he lowered his dagger from Koshiro's neck and walked over to stand in front of Zoro with calm, cold eyes as he towered over the young child. "But remember, we're leaving tomorrow, and if you decide to run away or if you don't show up, I'll kill him, and you, once I find you."

Then, with that, Zoro's father walked past Zoro, over Kuina's corpse, and out the front door.

Koshiro fell to his knees once he heard the door slam, and Zoro slowly looked up at him. Koshiro's face was consumed with horrified astonishment as he gaped at his bloodied hands, slowly realizing that he was covered in his young and only daughter's blood, and once he seemed to realize this, tears poured out of his eyes unblinking, horrified eyes.

"Kuina," he whispered in a hoarse voice as he covered his face with his hands, his fingers parted so he could look at her corpse just behind Zoro.

Zoro's heart broke into a million pieces for the second time that evening as he sluggishly rose to his knees and hobbled over to Koshiro, and once he reached Koshiro he wrapped his thin arms around the man. This startled him slightly as he jumped.

"Eh?" he breathed as he looked up to see tears streaming down Zoro's face.

"Sorry," Zoro sobbed as he tightened his arms around Koshiro, squeezing his eyes shut as the tears burst from his eyes.

"S-so-sorry, Sen-se-sensei! I'm sorry! It-it's all m-my fau-fa-fault!" the small boy hiccupped as he wailed, crying like the child he was.

This seemed to snap Koshiro out of his shock since he wrapped Zoro into his arms, picked him up, and jogged out and away from that bloody room. He carried Zoro to the kitchen, put him down and told him to go out to get some help so they could get Kuina's blood cleaned up and to take care of her body so they could have a proper burial.

Zoro went, covered in his best friend's, his _sister's_, blood, to get help. He was asked plenty of questions from the neighbors but all he said was that Kuina was dead and that they needed help. Once he guided their neighbors back to the scene, they'd offered to take care of her while Koshiro and Zoro waited in another room to get cleaned up and mourn together.

After Zoro and Koshiro got rid of the blood on their person, they waited in Zoro's room for the neighbors to come in and tell them that they were off once their job was done, but in the meantime, they just sat across from each other as Zoro wept while Koshiro held a stony expression, and after a while, Zoro spoke.

"Sensei!" the young boy yelled as he sniffled, clenching his fists in his lap as he snapped his head up to look at Koshiro. "Give me her sword! With her sword, I'll become the best swordsman in the world!"

"Sure," Koshiro mumbled after a few hesitant moments. Soon after, the neighbors informing them that they were leaving, which interrupted the slightly tense atmosphere and eventually, Koshiro left Zoro to his lonesome to mourn the sudden loss of his only daughter.

Once Zoro was alone, he cried in silence, with the occasional sniffle disrupting the melancholy air of this tragic night. He couldn't help but think that all of this was his fault. It was his fault that Kuina had died. It was his fault that he'd _let_ his father… kill her. It was his fault for not training hard enough. He was _far_ too weak. His father was right. He was just a shitty brat. He was worthless. He was nothing. He was a bad boy. He was the devil's child.

With these thoughts plaguing the poor child, Zoro had cried himself to sleep, but he had fallen asleep early into the next morning. So in just a few short hours, he met his sister's murderer again just to be the next kid that was taken away by that man.

That morning was a gloomy, rainy morning that suited the heartrending events that had befallen Zoro's small family the night before. That morning, Koshiro and Zoro ate breakfast in silence, and Zoro quickly attended Kuina's funeral before his father could arrive, and once he did, Zoro was waiting for him in front of the dojo with Kuina's sword strapped to his back and with Koshiro standing behind him. Zoro felt Koshiro tightly squeeze Zoro's shoulders to the point where it hurt the boy very much, but Zoro didn't say anything about it; he felt as though he deserved the pain that was inflicted upon him. However, that thought was quickly dismissed once Koshiro turned the boy around, knelt in front of him, and wrapped his arms around him in a bone crushing hug, surprising the young child.

"Zoro," he began in a small sad sincere voice, burying his face into the small shoulder before continuing, "It's not your fault, Zoro. I'll never blame you for what that man has done. You are not him. You're _far_ better that he will _ever_ be. It is _not_ your fault. _Never_ forget that."

Once he'd heard that, Zoro stood with a stunned expression, and then he silently cried, his tears being hidden by the rain that was drenching them as he gave his foster parent a curt nod. But all too soon, this precious moment was abruptly disrupted as his real father grunted at them.

"Hurry up, you fucking brat," Osamu grumbled as he walked over to the two who were still hugging. He held an umbrella as his vice admiral coat hung over his broad shoulders, and once Koshiro let go of Zoro with a final squeeze, he punched the side of Zoro's head, causing the poor boy to cry out in pain as he fell into the mud.

"And stop your fucking crying, huh?! It might be raining, but I can _tell_ your crying! What did I say about crying! Didn't I teach you that you should never cry?! Must I _re_-teach you?! Shit, this is why I thought you were useless before! Now get your little ass into the carriage before I beat the shit out of you, you little shit!" his father yelled in irritation as he trudged over to the carriage that he had brought, and waited.

Zoro rose from the ground, covered in mud, and wiped his tears as he sniffled. Then he turned to a troubled and irritated Koshiro, sadly smiled at him, and bowed.

"Thank you for taking care of me, Sensei. I'll miss you and Kuina a lot. Thank you for her sword, Wadou. I'll treasure it more than my life. I'll become the greatest swordsman in the world," Zoro said sincerely as he began bowing but stood up straight as he finished, and once he finished, he gave Koshiro a quick hug, and left.

Zoro didn't glance back, for if he did, he would feel his heart shatter for the millionth time that day for leaving Koshiro behind to be by himself, but Zoro knew in his heart that Koshiro would still love him, and that Koshiro would try his best to stay strong, so Zoro did the same.

Then once Zoro reached the carriage, he entered, and was taken away from the only place he could call home in his adolescent days.

But once he entered that carriage, he was roughly pushed down and the carriage immediately started to head off to its destination. Zoro rubbed his head as he slowly sat up. His head had smacked into the seat rather roughly, and once he realized that his father was just going to ignore him by talking on the den-den mushi with some other marine, Zoro blankly gazed out the window to see the world pass him by in shades of green and gray as they traveled. Despite Zoro's placid expression, he was all torn up on the inside. He felt like his little body would get squashed under the imaginary weight on his chest. He was overwhelmed with sadness, regret, and guilt.

He was sad about Kuina's death. He regretted that he hadn't been able to prevent her death. He was guilt-ridden for getting her killed and for leaving Koshiro when Zoro knew that Koshiro would feel lonely without his children. Then Zoro thought things along the lines of, _'Even though Koshiro said it's not my fault, I still feel bad. I feel so bad. I want this really bad feeling to stop, but I don't know how. Maybe I deserve it for being a bad boy. I deserve what bad things are going to happen to me by staying with father. Right? It's my punishment for getting her killed. Right?'_ as he watched the raindrops hit and run down the window.

His thoughts went on like this in a downwards spiral, almost to the point where he made himself cry, until a thought hit him, causing him to release a small gasp.

_'Oh, it's like the sky is crying _for_ me since it knows that I can't, because it knows that my father would be mad at me,'_ Zoro thought with a small sad smile, but before he could silently thank the sky for the rain, the carriage came to a sudden stop, and Zoro's father yanked him out of the carriage and into the rain.  
"Come on, boy. Follow me. We are getting off the island," Zoro's father scowled as he ordered a lower ranked marine to get his things and walked off to board a marine ship. Zoro quickly followed close behind his father, as to avoid anything bad happening, and once they boarded the ship, his father walked into his office and slammed the door as soon as Zoro had entered, startling the poor boy with the sudden loud bang. But after Zoro's father slammed the door, he trudged over to sit behind his desk and he motioned Zoro to sit in the seat in front of the desk. Zoro was a bit hesitant at first, but he soon scurried over and climbed into the seat and waited to be addressed. His father hated it when Zoro spoke out of turn.

The strained silence between the two lasted until the ship began to move, and once Zoro's father felt the familiar movements of the ship going out to sea, he spoke.

"Zoro," his father began in a firm tone, startling the poor child. Father never used his name. Ever. That must mean that he was either very serious, or very mad. Either way, Zoro was tense and scared. Zoro had to make sure he made the right moves. A single misstep could lead to father being really, really mad, which spelled out a lot of trouble for him. But his father had just continued as if he hadn't seen his son jump, "We are going to an island where the Navy has a very large influence. Large enough to the extent that no sane pirate would dare set foot on, or even come close to that island. On this island you will be trained to become part of a new special unit."

Then Zoro's father paused, which was always an indication that it was okay to say something as long as it wasn't stupid. Zoro's father always called him names and laughed at him if Zoro said anything stupid. So, Zoro thought for a moment about what to say before he spoke in a small voice.  
"A new special unit?"

"Yeah, boy." His father nodded as he got up and walked over to a table with some kind of sake in a large bottle. He took the bottle, uncapped it, and drank straight from the bottle. Zoro watched and stayed quite, even though he wanted to say that Koshiro said you shouldn't drink straight from the container. Soon enough his father walked back to his desk, taking the bottle with him. He sat back down in his chair and took another swing at his sake before continuing again.  
"A new special unit that the Navy has recently authorized; it's to train little shits like you to become killers, but it's not like CP9 – if anything it's like a CP8.5 - and before you ask a dumb question like the idiot you are, CP9 is a group where the world government take kids and give them rigorous training to become assassins for them. You aren't going to become an assassin. There are kids that are very gifted in fighting and killing, but they are very flashy. They're forceful and powerful, but they lack discretion and stealth; they can't become assassins. To fit their fighting style, we came up with a new program for this special unit we are trying to assemble, and based on what I saw yesterday, you are just the kind of little shit we're looking for. But this unit doesn't just kill _people_; you will be killing people _with_ _bounties_ or anyone that is a threat to the people, not the government. We need to make it seem like the world government is _for_ the people, not themselves. You will also be required to gather information and keep your boss informed on whatever you find out about a person with a bounty or about anything that poses a threat to civilians. You kids are basically hitmen. You kill the people your boss or the Navy tells you to kill, you keep your bosses informed with what they want to know, and you get paid, with the basic necessities of course. That's a win for everybody."

"Wh-what?" Zoro asked in a small stunned voice before he could think about what he was saying. His father was going to try to train him to become a killer? What?

Though once Zoro had asked, his father gave a world-weary sigh as he put his elbows on the desk and rubbed his face with a hand.

"Here, let me dumb it down for you. You are going to train to become a killer to help others," his father said slowly, as if Zoro didn't understand what language he was speaking in, but Zoro could barely care about how his father was degrading him with his tone of voice. He was just overwhelmed with what his father had just told him, and after a few moments of opening and closing his mouth in shock, Zoro asked breathily.

"Why tell me this now? Why didn't you tell me in the carriage?"

His father looked at him as if he were stupid, making Zoro feel as such. That look even made him feel insignificant as if what he had to say didn't matter, which it probably didn't.

"Because you could have jumped out, you could have had a chance to escape, but now you don't, and you won't. Oh, and now that I think about it, don't go thinking that you're all that special for being chosen to be in this unit. You're _always_ expendable. If you can't meet the expectations of the supervisors, you'll be given extremely harsh punishments, and if you continue to be a disappointment, you'll be cut from the unit and will be tossed into the streets, and you can't afford that, huh, Zoro." His father sneered and sipped from his sake bottle before continuing with a jeering chuckle. "You have no one in this world except for me. Koshiro must _hate_ you for getting his kid killed."

Zoro's heart stopped and withered in his small chest. He felt tears threatening to fall, but with all his might he held them back. He just wanted to stop hurting, physically and emotionally, but despite his wish, the lashings of burning guilt and sorrow engulfed him into a blistering blaze. Before he could get too lost in his raging emotions, his father gained his attention again by waving his bottle in the air. Once Zoro looked up, his father stretched in an attempt to give his son the bottle.

"It's empty. Go get a new one," his father asked in a sober manner, but Zoro just sat in his seat with a slightly confused expression.

"But I don't know-" Zoro was barely able to finish his sentence before pain erupted in his skull.

He was thrown to the floor from the force at which his father had thrown the bottle at him. Zoro saw black spots in his vision and before he could pick himself up, he felt someone pulling him up by the cuff of his shirt.

"You useless, worthless, little bastard-" his father hissed as he pick his son up off the floor and raised his fist, but before he could do anything, he heard a knock at the door. His father glared at the door, and then at Zoro before he threw his son to the ground and walked over to the door to answer it.

"What?" he said placidly, looking down at his subordinate who was saluting him.

"Sir, we need you on deck, something has come up."

Zoro's father sighed before he said that he'd be there in a moment. Then once the two were alone once again, Zoro's father just told Zoro to be gone before he came back and left his son without a word of farewell.

Zoro just sat where he was as he looked down at the bottle that was thrown at him. Then he touched the large swelling bump on his head gingerly, and after he pulled his hand away to look at it, he saw red. This didn't surprise the young boy at all. He was almost too used to it, and he has convinced himself that he deserved it, so he just accepted it. There was no use fighting it anyways. It's not like things would change. Besides his situation had just gotten worse since his dad was going to make him kill people, so what was the point in fighting? What was the point?

Zoro picked himself off the floor, wiped the blood on his hand onto his shirt, and left to wander around the ship for a comfortable place to sleep. He thought that if he were asleep he would be unable to feel the pain he'd bottled up in his little body. Besides, for some reason, he was incredibly tired, maybe because of how little sleep he'd had the night before.

Zoro eventually found a storage room where a random marine said he could use as a temporary room, so he did just that. It wasn't so bad since there was a box of apples a different marine had said that Zoro could eat for his meals. So, Zoro lived in that storage room for about a week, refusing to leave until his father practically broke down the door. He'd seemed to always be napping whenever he felt bad, so Zoro was in the middle of a nap when his father had finally come to get him. He also almost had a heart attack when his father had barged in so suddenly.

"Oi! We're here, you filthy brat!" he yelled as he yanked Zoro up to his feet. Then he dragged him up to the deck, and on the way there, Zoro felt a heavy weight in his stomach, telling him that something bad was waiting for him on that island, and once they reached the deck, the sun mercilessly blinded the boy as his father said in his sickeningly smooth voice: "Here's that island I mentioned before. Welcome to your new home, and just so you know, there's no way for you to escape, and if you even _try_ to run away, I'll find you and punish you _myself_."

"Aw, don't be so mean to the poor kid, that's my job, remember? I wonder how beautiful his screams will be!" a smooth, feminine voice spoke out from across the ship. Zoro's eyes were still adjusting to the intense light so he couldn't see who was speaking to his father, but he did hear his father huff as he released Zoro's arm so the kid could rub his burning eyes.

"Ugh, it's you, Sadi. They made you an instructor, _again_? And for _kids_? I thought that they sent you to Impel Down since you were too cruel to the _adults_ who wanted to be marines. Now they are letting you train little brats? Huh. Damn, I almost feel sorry for the little shits you're in charge of."

"Oh, Osamu, I thought you knew I was on the ship. Mmmmm, they _did_ send me to Impel Down, but the higher-ups requested that I handle these kids for this single occasion since they want to make sure that the kids will _always_ be loyal to the Navy, especially if they are trying to make the World Government look good. They have to be trained and taught, don't you think?" she explained charismatically as she walked to somewhere, probably towards wherever they were supposed to go to leave the ship.

Zoro had finally adjusted to the sun's light and saw the island that had a modest town in front of him, and then his eyes traveled upwards to a very big blue and green cylindrical building that didn't really seem to fit the island's simplicity, but his viewing of the island was disrupted when his father tightly gripped his arm again to harshly tug him in the same direction as that Sadi lady had gone in.

"Come on, brat, let's get going, we have to go to that goddamn building. I fucking hate that place. Sadi was an instructor when I was in training and I heard some… rather _interesting_ rumors about her." He shrugged as he pulled Zoro off the ship and into another carriage where they traveled to the Navy building in silence.

They arrived about thirty minutes later and Zoro was thrown out of the carriage as his father followed behind him, and without any words, Zoro's father began to walk away and Zoro started to follow him, but then that Sadi lady suddenly popped up in front of him, blocking his path.

"Mmmmm, honey, you're coming with me. You're not my student, sadly, but I am still one of the instructors for this program so you'll have to follow my orders along with the other instructors. Mmmmm, it's too bad that I won't get to hear your screams," she began seriously but ended up whining as she guided Zoro into the building and to a room that had a group of rather young occupants.

He stopped in the doorway as he looked around the room in mild shock. He knew there would be others like him, but he'd thought there would be more kids. Though he seemed to be the youngest of the group. Everyone seemed to be about twelve years old or so, but they all seemed to have a certain air around them. They all seemed to be strong in their own way, but Zoro couldn't really explain how exactly he knew. It was just a feeling in his gut.

Then, all too soon, Zoro's scoping of his surroundings were interrupted as he felt several large presences behind him, so he quickly moved out of the way and scurried to the back of the room, trying to get furthest away from the instructors as he can.

"Okay now," a tall man with a stony expression on his face and semi-closed eyes started, grabbing the attention of the children that seemed to be in a bit of a daze, and Zoro could guess as to why that was, but before he could continue with the thought, the man continued.

"My name is Onigomu, and this is Sadi," he introduced as he motioned towards the flamboyant woman with her extremely skimpy, hot-pink clothing. "And this is Tsuru," he stated as he motioned towards an elderly lady with a matching vice admiral coat hanging off her shoulders as he did, but she dressed more casually with her gray hair was in a bun, and she wore a button up shirt and jeans, while he wore his long hair down, and a gray suit underneath his vice-admiral coat.

"From now on, we are going to be your teachers, and once you have met all of the requirements to join this new unit that was surely explained to you all before you arrived, we would be your bosses. We'll be monitoring you for as long as you are in the Navy, got it?" he asked, but the room remained tense and silent.

It was as though all of the children were scared to speak up, in fear that they might say the wrong thing, but the man didn't seemed to be bothered by this since he just simply huffed and continued.

"You will be assigned to a different teacher based on your skill sets that were previously evaluated by Osamu, the recruiter and creator of this new unit."  
Once Zoro had heard this, his eyes widened in shock as he paled, held his breath, and felt his heart stop. His father was responsible for this? It was all _his_ idea? He'd almost sounded like he was being forced to do all of this from how he was talking earlier. How could he just _make_ all of these kids become killers? How can he make his _own_ son become a killer? Zoro felt sick to his stomach, and he felt very guilty and sad as this man continued.

"I am the instructor for those of you who are skilled with swords, Tsuru will be in charge of those who have devil's fruits power and those of you who will specialize in hand-to-hand combat, and Sadi will handle those who will use long range weapons, whatever that weapon may be. So when we call your name, form a line in front of your instructor. Once you are all assembled, we'll go off and immediately start your training."

The man finished, and then he immediately pulled out a scroll. The other instructors followed suit and pulled out a scroll of their own to call out their student's names, though Zoro had no idea how that Sadi lady even _had_ anywhere to hide the scroll, but she'd somehow managed to do it.

Anyways, about five to ten minutes later, the small group of kids were separated in thirds and lined up in front of their instructor. Zoro had obviously been placed in the swordsmen's class, and once they all made sure that everyone was in the right line, the other two groups left the room, while Zoro's group stayed put. Zoro was a bit confused until he noticed the mats at the front of the room and figured out that this was the room for his class.

"Okay," the man grunted, startling all of the children, though there were about four others excluding Zoro himself. "Let's begin, shall we?"

Then, after hours of rigorous training, and then after running several dozens of laps around the parameter of the building, the class ended and then the exhausted children were shown to their living quarters, which were located in the basement of the establishment. Though, this basement was more of a sub-level floor than a basement. There was a large room for storage supplies, and then a hallway that had two rows of doors that could only be rooms for the kids since the kids were told that they would get their own rooms.

But after being left in the room closest to the stairs that lead to the first floor of the building, Zoro felt incredibly lonely and bad, emotionally and physically.  
Zoro trudged over to the ratty spring bed that was provided, plopped down on it, sighed, and took a lazy glance throughout the room. There was only this bed that lay in the corner in front of the door, a sink that was a bit too tall for Zoro that was standing across from him on the other side of the room, and then a toilet that was sitting in the opposite corner from the bed. There was also a single light bulb hanging loosely from the ceiling. It felt as though Zoro was locked away in a prison, and maybe that wasn't so far from the truth.

Zoro sighed again as he lay back on the bed to fix his gaze on the dark gray ceiling.

He couldn't believe his father would _do_ all of this. Well, Zoro could believe that he would do horrible things, but he was still just trying to process everything that had happened…

So much had happened…

So much had changed...

How was he supposed to cope?

What was he supposed to do?

How was he supposed to feel?

How did he feel?

He… he felt guilty. He felt hollow. He felt really sad. He felt like, everything bad that had happened was his entire fault. He felt like he deserved the burning and stinging that he felt in his lungs, his muscles, and his heart.

If he had just _left_, then Kuina would be alive. If he were the kid that his father _wanted_ him to be, then maybe his father wouldn't have made this unit that consisted of training children to become cold-blooded killers. Maybe if he never _existed_, all of this pain and sadness wouldn't have happened. Maybe everyone would be _happier_ if he didn't exist. Besides, it seems as though his father would be a _lot_ happier if Zoro had never been born.

With that thought, Zoro felt tears well up in his eyes, and this time, he couldn't hold them back.

He wept. Tears poured out of his eyes as he silently cried. He cried because of Kuina's death, for leaving Koshiro, and for everything his father had done to him and was making him do. Zoro cried and cried until he couldn't cry anymore, and once he was done, he crawled under the thin sheets and curled up into a ball to try and get some sort of warmth in his small cold body. The room was freezing cold, but Zoro found that sleep came to him a lot easier than he had thought it would as he sank into the darkness and lethargy of sleep.

Then the next day began with a mediocre breakfast, a quick morning routine that was shortly followed by morning training.

Zoro was thankful that he'd done extra training when he'd been home. He'd seemed to be more adept to prolonged rigorous physical activity and could more or less keep up with the outrageous training regimen that these people held, all of which made him feel a bit better as an incredibly marvelous idea came to him while they were finishing up morning training.

Zoro had the idea that all of this could count as training to become the best swordsman in the world, and he held onto this light thought, for it kept his burdens at bay and made his heavy heart become just a bit lighter as he endured what no child should ever endure at such a young age. 

However, after four excruciating years inside that Navy hellhole, Zoro had lost many things. He'd experienced a lot of precious things being taken away from him, being destroyed before his eyes, torn piece-by-every-fucking-piece, but he never lost Wadou, and he kept that promise near and dear to his heart.  
That child's promise had been his everything in those four years, other than Wadou. That promise had pulled him out of many dangerous situations. That promise had motivated him to get up every time he'd gotten knocked down, even at the times when he'd just wished that he would never get up again. That promise had been his ray of hope; it was his saving grace. Without it, he would have been dead, maybe killed by his own hands before he let anyone else kill him. Hell, he doubted that anyone here could kill him even if he didn't try to fight them.

Besides, he was the strongest kid they had. He'd excelled in everything that man Onigomu had taught them, and Zoro trained alone whenever he had the chance so he could further develop the three-sword style he'd begun to develop shortly before Kuina's death, all of which was why Wadou Ichimonji wasn't taken away from him. Onigomu said that he'd let him keep his sword since he was doing so well. So he'd tried his very best to train as to be the best and to keep Wadou just in case Onigomu changed his mind, but he also let himself get consumed into what he was doing so he could focus on other things that what his mind was telling him.

However, even with the distraction of all of that training, he was always thinking, and more often than not, his thoughts were extremely negative. His emotions too, were rather destructive. Whenever he didn't feel numb, he felt wretched and anguished.

But that promise had always saved his life, it forced him to continue on, it pushed him to overcome whatever demons whispered in his ear. Those demons were always sneering as they told him that everything was his fault, that he deserved whatever bad thing came his way. The demons in his head whispered that he deserved the names that Onigomu and the other marines called him whenever he ever made the slightest mistake, since they held extremely high expectations of him. They whispered that he should always feel bad, that he should repent, that he should regret, that he should have probably never been born, that he was the reason for the pain and suffering of everyone around him. Those demons told him that his father had the right to be cruel to him, since it was always his fault.

At first Zoro had fought these demons, he'd swatted at them, telling himself that they were just telling him lies, that they were wrong.

But, during those four years, his resolve in that they were lying was slowly chipped away, and eventually, he believed them.  
Nevertheless, that child's promise always came to save him when he sank too far into a cursed ocean that had just found its next victim.  
After those four years of hell, Zoro found himself in his father's office at the base, a place he had never been to before. It was then he heard the words that he wished he'd never had to hear: "Well, now that you're done with your training, you're ready for the real world. Here's your first bounty, you little shit."


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

***I just wanted to say, thank you all so very much. Thank you for reading, thank you to those who've favorited, followed and/or reviewed. I really appreciate it and am grateful to all of you. I am extremely happy that you are reading my fanfic and that you like it. This isn't the last chapter, I just wanted to convey my feelings of gratitude and happiness that I feel whenever I see that people are reading what I'm writing, and that they are enjoying it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece or any of its wonderful characters.**

**A special thank you goes out to HadenxCharm, my wonderful beta-reader. Anyways, thank you so much for reading. Please enjoy!***

"Wait, what?" Sanji breathed. It was as though all of the breath in his lungs had left him to suffocate as he just stared at Zoro with wide eyes.

However, Zoro wasn't looking at him. As Zoro was telling his tale, he lowered his gaze to the bed sheets when he started to talk about his father, as if he were ashamed or as if he couldn't look at Sanji while he was speaking in fear that if he looked, he would see judgment.

Sanji saw this, but he let him continue until his brain had caught up to him, and when it did, Sanji was bombarded with two strong emotions at once. He felt immense anger towards his father, but he also felt as though a hand had bored itself into his chest, wrapped its fingers around his heart and squeezed with all its might.

Koshiro and Kuina were right; Zoro didn't deserve any of that shit, nor did he need to feel guilty for Kuina's death and whatever else that man was responsible for. It pained Sanji dearly to know that Zoro had had to endure so much. He'd had precious people and things taken from his young self. He had been abused in more ways than one, and he'd never told another soul. He'd just endured and endured. Zoro had been suffering long before he'd even met Luffy. He'd been suffering before he even met Kuina. Though even with these thoughts and feelings dwelling within him, Sanji couldn't help but feel as though something was off. Something didn't quite match up.

"Zoro," Sanji called in a steady and calm voice, knowing that he shouldn't do something so degrading as to try to always be uncharacteristically gentle with Zoro. Sanji knew that the man still has his pride and that this was an extremely heavy and serious time, so he was going to give the respect Zoro deserved. Though, even with his firm call, Zoro refused to look up at him; he simply hummed at Sanji to let him know that he was listening. But that was unacceptable to Sanji.

So instead of calling again, Sanji just squeezed his hand firmly and tugged in an attempt to get the swordsman to look his way. Reluctantly, Zoro lifted his shamed and saddened eyes to look into a fixed reassuring gaze that somehow made his tense shoulders relax. Sanji noticed this, but he just continued on with what he had to ask.

"I have several questions," he said evenly, searching Zoro's face for some sort of approval. Zoro just blinked at him for a moment and then he slowly nodded, slightly curious as to what the blonde wanted to ask him. Once he saw the marimo nod, he took a breath and began.

"Why were those four years training in the Marines horrible?"

Once Sanji had asked, he kind of wished he hadn't. Zoro's eyes widened and then sharpened as he quickly redirected his gaze downwards to the bed. When he looked away, his grip on his hand tightened somewhat and he directed a scowl at the bed.

Sanji took in his slightly pained and sorrowful face for a moment, and just when he was going to tell Zoro it was okay if he didn't answer, Zoro spoke.

"Well, one reason's that no matter what you did, be it either good or bad, you always got punished. But you only got punished if whatever you did went against the principles of the Navy, World Government, or the orders of the instructors in any way," he said in a tone that was calm, but there was also with a hint of dread in it. Though, despite Zoro's answer, Sanji was still confused.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that if one of those teachers told everyone not to give one of the other kids some food because of their inability to perform all of the extremely vigorous training that we were forced to do, you don't give them food; unless you didn't mind the consequences of getting tortured, or by getting smacked around, or doing laborious work, or doing chores, or being forced to do double the training regimen requirements. Sanji, I may have been the top student, but I always got punished. Though I only got in _real_ trouble once in a while," Zoro explained seriously.

"But," Sanji began slowly as he absorbed what Zoro was telling him. He could hardly believe his ears, but he numbly continued what he was saying anyway. "I though you said that you had to be good so that they wouldn't take Wado. Did they take it from you? And how did you get punished all the time when you only got into trouble once in a while?"

"I didn't particularly have to behave to keep Wado; I just had to outshine everyone in my class. So, no, they didn't take Wado from me, but they called torturing and hitting us 'punishment'. To instill that disobeying the government was the worst idea on the planet, they put Sadi in charge of punished everyone regularly. They did all that to force us to be loyal to the World Government, those sick bastards," Zoro explained monotonously but ended with a growl, snarling and glaring at the sheets between him and Sanji. Sanji had just looked at him with a dumbfounded expression. His jaw went slack his eyebrow shot up, and his eyes were wide.

How could they do that to _children_? How could they do that at all? Sanji was absolutely flabbergasted. He knew that the World government was filled with awful and sick people, but he hadn't realized it was to the extent of physically and mentally harming children to bend to their will and use them as they pleased after they've been victims of this abuse. Sanji was sickened and deeply angered, but then a question came to him that had completely dissipated his previous emotions of rage and disgust to be replaced with admiration for the moss-ball.

"Zoro, how can you be so damn strong?" Sanji asked as he managed to make his demeanor and expression calm. This surprised the marimo so much so that he didn't register what the cook had said for about a minute or two, and when he did, his snarl dissipated as he looked up at him with his mouth gaped and with eyes widened slightly. He seemed to be taken aback. Sanji held his stunned gaze until he shook his head slightly as if to clear it, and then he looked down at the bed between them as he tried to come up with a coherent response.

"I- I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm… I'm not-" Zoro began quickly in bewilderment, but as he continued, he slowed down and began to speak sullenly until Sanji cut in.

"Yes, you are. Zoro, listen to me. You are _very_ strong. You are far stronger than I had originally thought you were. Not everyone can go through what you did, and you survived. You _survived_. I have no idea how you could have possibly kept going. If it were me, I would have been far too crushed, but you, _you_ kept going. You endured. Despite everything you were faced with, you fucked the odds and were victorious in the battle of survival. Zoro, that's not something to just dismiss as if it were nothing," Sanji explained, looking Zoro dead in the eye to get across how serious he was being. However, all Zoro could do was gape at him and stare back with a dumbfounded expression, not knowing how to respond. After a few moments of silence, his brain had managed to gather his thoughts.

"Well, like I said, cook, my dream saved me. I had nothing to live for other than Koshiro and my dream," Zoro answered with a hollow tone as his lips smiled a sad smile and his eyes wrinkled in sorrow. Sanji frowned as his heart was squeezed once more, but then his eyebrow scrunched together in slight confusion.

"Koshiro? But I just remembered you saying that it was just your dream? What do you mean that Koshiro was one of the only two things for you to live for?" Sanji asked in sullen curiosity, not really understanding where that new bit of information came from.

"Well," Zoro said somewhat casually as he sat back in that shitty chair once again. "I was just about to get to that part before you interrupted," he said in a mater-of-fact tone as he peered over to Sanji who just mouthed the word 'Oh'. Though before Zoro could open his mouth to start back telling Sanji his past, Sanji quickly interjected once more.

"Ah! Before you continue, I have one more very important question."

Zoro raised an eyebrow at his serious statement and then gave a curt nod to encourage the curly chef to continue.

"Why the hell didn't Koshiro try to defend you?! Why didn't he protect you?! Weren't you like his own son?" Sanji asked with rage at first but then his tone dwindled into a whisper due to how much it hurt him to ask. Surely Zoro couldn't know the answer; Sanji was just being unreasonable, but still! Sanji couldn't wrap his head around a man not protecting his family, his children!

_'But…'_ Sanji thought as the anger in him immediately burnt out and was replaced with cold hollowness. '_Zoro's dad was the same, he just hurt his family while Koshiro did nothing.'  
_  
"I was going to explain that too, before you interrupted that is," Zoro answer smartly, but he sighed once he saw the confusion playing on the cook's handsome face. "The reason why Koshiro didn't help me and the reason why he was my reason to live are kind of explained in the next part."

"Oh," Sanji breathed softly. He sent an apologetic smile Zoro's way only to receive a smirk in return. Sanji would have snapped at him but Zoro spoke up first, dissipating Sanji's irritation and piquing his curiosity.

"Anyways, continuing from where I left off," Zoro casually said as he saw Sanji give him a nod to encourage him. He shifted a bit to ensure another form of comfort as Zoro continued to recall his horrible past.

: -:

"Well, now that you're done with your training, you're ready for the real world. Here's your first bounty, you little shit," his father said to him placidly as he slid a bounty poster to a thirteen-year-old Zoro, who was staring ahead with his hands behind his back and his legs spread apart. Once he was addressed, he saluted, said 'yes sir,' and walked over to his father's desk. He picked up the bounty poster and inspected the picture.

The picture was just some stereotypical pirate with a low bounty, however, Zoro was still nervous. This guy had achieved a bounty. He may have looked stereotypical, but who knows, this guy could be very dangerous and very underrated. Before Zoro could salute his father once more and dismiss himself to go hunt the pirate down, his father hissed at him.

"Oh, and before I forget, you have a new rule to abide by," his father alluded coldly. Zoro just waited for him to continue, and after a few silent moments, he did.

"You have a limited about of assignments to mess up. Its 'three strikes and you're out,' kid. Since you got 'punished' over five times and none of the other kids were stupid enough to let that happen, you're the only one in this group that we have to keep an eye on. If you exceed the time limit, disobey a direct order, or let your assigned bounty run around causing chaos for too long, I'll carry out my threat, and you'll be executed. You're too dangerous to keep alive, and my threat seems to be the only reason why you're here."

Zoro was just about to gulp in fear, but he kept his restlessness and fear hidden as he evenly asked his father when he should complete the assignment. He didn't want to dwell on this new rule he had to follow, he just wanted to leave this suffocating office so he could do the job he'd never wanted to do to protect what he cherished.

"You have a week to track this guy down, kill him, and call your boss, Onigomu, with this mini den-den mushi so he can give you another assignment," his father ordered as he tossed the mini den-den mushi to Zoro, who caught it with ease.

Zoro looked down at the bounty poster and the den-den mushi one more time before he saluted his father and was dismissed. Once Zoro left his father's office, he immediately went on his way to find the exit so he could execute his assignment as quickly as possible.

While Zoro was looking for the exit, he recalled the threat that his father had mentioned and the powerlessness, desperation, and terror he'd felt back then.

: *********:

"You little shit," his father hissed at him as he glared at the small child. It was the fourth time that Zoro had gotten in trouble for disobeying his teacher to help out one of his classmates, and frankly, Zoro was terrified. He didn't regret helping any of his classmates, but he was petrified in the presence of his angered father. He didn't know what he would do. Moreover, Zoro didn't think that he would care enough if he'd gotten in trouble, so he just got in trouble when his classmates needed him. However, it seemed as though he'd been was wrong, and now he was going to pay.

"You may be the top student in Onigomu's class, but that doesn't mean you can just do whatever the fuck you want, you arrogant bastard!" his father yelled at him as he slammed his hands on the desk, causing Zoro to jump in surprise and fear. His father snarled at him for a moment before he sank into his chair and glowered at him. Zoro kept his mouth shut and tried his best to hide his terror since he knew that his father hated it when he showed any kind of weakness. Then his father spoke in a cold, despondent tone that made Zoro feel numb.

"You know," Osamu said as he leaned forward with his elbows on the desk and his folded in front of him while he fixed Zoro in a cold stare. "I could just go over and kill Koshiro if I wanted to."

Zoro's heart stopped and his blood ran cold. He was seized in fear, and he instantly felt overwhelming powerlessness and desperation.

"I could just slit his throat like I did his daughter's and then you really would have nowhere left to return to since nobody would want a shitty brat like yourself. But," his father said sharply, grabbing Zoro's full attention. "I will spare his life if you continue to be a model student and do your job. If you ever run away or disobey orders when you're on the job, I will kill him, and you will watch," his father growled coldly, glaring icy daggers at his fear-stricken son. Zoro stood in horror when his father had finished speaking. His eyes were wide and his jaw went slack. He felt his chest and stomach fill with anxiety. He felt completely helpless to his father's threatening. If he disobeyed orders when he was done training or slacked off in his training, Koshiro would die. He would die because of Zoro's incompetence.

Zoro almost couldn't handle what he was being told, and before he could even give a reaction, his father hissed at him to get the fuck out of his office, and Zoro numbly followed his order.

Once Zoro exited his office, Sadi entered before the door could close and Zoro numbly leaned against the wall next to the door, still trying to process what had happened. Before he could do that, he heard something through the door.

"Mmmmmm, Sir, may I ask a question before we get to official business," Sadi's muffled voice said as more of a statement that a question. Zoro guessed that his father must have made some sort of gesture for her to continue because he heard nothing for a few moments before Sadi asked: "How did you get that kid to come with you? I mean, obviously he's your son, but it seems as though he wouldn't want to come willingly, so what did you do? Mmm, I'm just curious."  
Zoro's breath hitched as he recalled that horrifying night and before he could get too swept up in the memory, he heard his father laugh before he answered in a thrilled manner.

"Well, I went back to the dojo I ditched that brat at when all of the children weren't there, so it was only his 'foster' father, Koshiro, and me present. I asked who the best kid there was, and he said his daughter was, but that brat would be able to grow further while his daughter would just stay at the same level. Then I threatened that if he were to help that little devil child or fight back in any way while I gave the kid the test for this program, I would kill his daughter the kids that participated in the dojo and cause havoc for the village and blame him for it. The man had his hands tied since he had a responsibility to his daughter, students, and village," his father snickered.

"Mmmm, that makes sense. Anyways…" Sadi hummed thoughtfully before she went back to the business she was there for.

Zoro stopped listening at this point. He was too stunned. He couldn't take it. He was overwhelmed. His father had threatened to take everything important away from Koshiro just so that he wouldn't protect Zoro. Why? Why did his dad do that? Zoro was sure his father didn't care for him.

Zoro felt helpless, powerless, fearful, and desperate. He had to keep the rest of his family alive. He had to protect the ones he loved. So he had to bend to his father and the government's will.

With a new anxious resolve, Zoro made himself bottle up his feelings and he went off to train by himself. He had the life of a loved one to protect.

: ************:

As Zoro recalled the threat his father had over him, he'd managed to find the exit to that confusing building, and for the next six days he'd been restlessly searching for the guy in the bounty poster. He'd also been getting lost, but he managed somehow. He was very lucky to find out that this guy was supposed to be at an island close by to the one he'd been at for four years, and once he found out, he set sail. He'd arrived to the island on the second to last day he had left before the deadline, and he searched frantically.

Then, on the day he had to report to Onigomu, he'd found the guy in the bounty. However, he'd walked into an ambush and fought off a large group of pirates. Zoro should have guessed that an ambush was a possibility since the guy he was after was the captain of a pirate crew, but the thought never came to him in his desperation. However, despite the initial surprise, Zoro fought all of the pirates with ease, knocking all of them out. When he'd finished up with the rest of the crew, the captain was nowhere in sight. He'd gotten away, and Zoro couldn't find him.

At the end of that chaotic day, Zoro couldn't track down the bounty on time. Zoro was consumed in panic and fear as he pulled out his mini den-den mushi to report what had happened.

Zoro took a deep breath to try to calm himself down, but that didn't work at all, and instead of hesitating, he quickly called his boss. After Onigomu answered, Zoro reported what had happened with an even voice, telling him that he'd had difficulty getting information due to either people being scared, uncooperative, or threatened by the pirate to keep quiet, how Zoro had gotten lost one to many times, how he'd been ambushed by his pirate crew and how he'd fled, and that he couldn't find him since he gotten hopelessly lose again. Once he was done with his report, silence hung in the air until Onigomu sighed.

"Look, Zoro," his gruff tired voice said through the small snail that kind of resembled him. "Just between you and me, you are my favorite student. You're better than the other kids and you're mature."

Zoro was a bit taken aback, and before he could thank his boss, the man's voice turned from tired to cold.

"However, you had a job, and despite the good and believable reasons as to why you couldn't find the guy, you failed to do that job. Even if I dismiss this mistake and extend your time limit, Osamu wouldn't, and he's my boss, so I have to listen to his orders. He said you only have three mess-ups and you already wasted one. So, don't waste the other two mess-ups, go find that guy, kill him, and report to me. Then I'll give you another assignment," he informed evenly and hung up the den-den mushi before Zoro could squeeze in a dazed 'yes sir.'

He definitely had not expected that. He quickly gathered his thoughts, stood up, and went off to track down and kill the man he'd been assigned.

_'Onigomu is right. I can't waste the other two chances I have. I have to make sure I never let this happen again. Sorry, Koshiro. I'm sorry you adopted a useless son like me. I'll save you somehow and I'll be the strongest swordsman in the world. I just need to be better. I'm not good enough,'_ Zoro thought to himself as he searched.

These kind of thoughts plagued him till morning when he'd found the captain he was supposed to kill. With all of his anger and frustration directed at that captain, he killed him with his three-sword style. Before Zoro launched himself at the man in the middle of the main town on that island where he'd found him, the man had yelled that he was a 'demon pirate hunter that'd pay for killing his whole crew'. Too bad the man got his head lobbed off right after he'd said that since he'd thrown gasoline into the fire that was Zoro's rage with his words and actions.

After that, many had dubbed him as the 'demon of East Blue,' and 'Pirate Hunter Roronoa Zoro.' He was feared despite the fact that he was only hunting bounties that were assigned to him, and as he performed his duties, he never made a single mistake. He made sure to follow orders to the tee. He made sure to put his bounties to rest as soon as possible. He made sure to kill as soon as he had an opportunity and he made sure to kill well before he had to report back to his boss. He made sure he didn't make another mistake until four years after his first strike.

It was as though history had repeated itself. He couldn't make the kill within the time limit due to his incompetence, the difficulty in gathering information due to how fearsome he was, and about a hundred pirate lackeys that were under the control of a pirate captain he had to kill ambushed him.

He was warned once again by Onigomu and was reminded that he only had one more chance, and Zoro almost broke.

He couldn't take how much pressure he'd put on himself. He couldn't take how much those who'd recognized him feared him. He couldn't take the self-hatred that had amplified over the years. He couldn't take the whispers in his head that had plagued him every second of every day. He couldn't take the guilt that twisted and tore his heart. They were all driving him crazy. They were all driving him to the edge. They were making him go insane.

The only outlet he had was killing the bounties he was assigned to; he engrossed himself in his 'work' to keep the demons at bay. But when he'd made his second mistake, he almost couldn't pull himself out of his head; he almost couldn't take all of the negative emotions he was enduring.

All of which almost killed him.

After his second mistake, he'd become _incredibly_ reckless. Sure, he'd left his life behind when he'd decided to become the greatest, that was a given, but this was different. At this point, Zoro was consumed and blinded by his wretched emotions, and he didn't care what had happened to his own body. He'd thrown himself in many life threatening situations and he'd gotten many injuries, all of which could have been avoided. Besides, if he'd just died, his father couldn't threaten Koshiro's life anymore because he wouldn't have Zoro around to threaten. Despite how much he'd hated himself, despite how much he wished he could just stop hurting, despite how he'd justified his own death, he couldn't actually let himself die. For one, he was far too skilled to actually get killed by the pirates he was assigned to in East Blue, and for two, he had a promise to keep.

Despite all of his pain and suffering, his dream had literally saved his life.

However, it couldn't save him from his recklessness, because after two years from his second mistake, he'd wasted his third.

This time, things were different. The reason as to why he'd failed was because his father gave him a near impossible job to complete. Zoro could swear that he'd been given such an impossible task just because his father hated him and wanted him to die. Why would his father want him dead? Well, the reason to that was because of how well Zoro was doing in this CP 8.5 program thing.

Zoro was only nineteen and he'd taken care of so many bounties with little to no mistakes that he'd earned a very big reputation with the higher ups that knew about this program. He was liked so much so that at one point his father wasn't getting the credit for raising such a fine fighter and Zoro was getting recognized, leaving his father's dark shadow, and that had deeply enraged his father. So, with the authority of being the creator of the program, he assigned Zoro a difficult task.

When Zoro had finished his previous assignment and was informed about his new assignment, he was somewhere either in or very close to North Blue because his last target was a merchant that was running away to North Blue until Zoro ruined had his plans.

But now, Onigomu was telling Zoro that he had to go to the southernmost part of East Blue, kill an entire pirate crew of fishmen and their captain, and he had to finish this job within the week. It almost seemed as though he expected Zoro to be stunned, but at this point Zoro was just numb. He placidly said 'yes, sir' once Onigomu was done informing him of his next assignment, and Onigomu was the one that was stunned.

"Z-Zoro!" he exclaimed, baffled by his student's reaction, "You do know that this is a near impossible assignment, right?! How are you not flabbergasted that your father is doing this to you?!"

"Sir, may I be blunt and honest," Zoro said evenly, unaffected by his boss's reaction and willing to explain himself. Besides, Onigomu may be the last person that he'd talk to in the marines if his plan worked out.

"Yeah, go on, boy," he answered impatiently and with a hint of curiosity in his rough voice. Zoro blinked, not really expecting his boss to actually grant him permission before he continued.

"To be honest, sir, my father has screwed up my life in more ways than I thought possible. I wouldn't put it past him to pull something like this off once I only had one mistake left, especially now that the higher ups are taking a liking to me. Besides, he's always hated me. I'm numb to it this point. I've learned to turn off my thoughts while doing this job. I've killed my emotions so that I don't have to suffer with them. I don't care what that man does to me. However, Onigomu, sir, I want to protect the ones I love. I honestly do not care if I die trying to save my loved ones, and I only have one person in this world that I know loves me and that's my foster father. I will do anything to save him. So, if I only have one mistake left, and if I have an impossible task ahead of me, then I'll either complete that task and become the greatest, or I'll die trying," Zoro said composedly. He waited as a stunned silence filled the air. Onigomu said nothing until Zoro spoke up once more.

"Sir?"

"Oh, um," his boss floundered, not really knowing what to say. Then after a moment of silence, Onigomu spoke in a somewhat soft tone, almost as if he were contemplative and sincere. "Um, it seems as though you've made this into a suicide mission, and frankly your reasoning for making it as such makes sense. But Zoro, desensitizing yourself, or killing your emotions isn't the way to go. Just make sure you to come out of this alive."

With that, Onigomu mumbled what seemed to be a short apology as to what had happened to Zoro and he quickly hung up, leaving Zoro to his lonesome.

Zoro didn't dwell on the conversation, and he readily discarded Onigomu's advice to not get rid of his emotions. He didn't need such self-destructive things; and he needed whatever was left of his concentration to do his job.

Zoro quickly set sail to the southern end of East Blue and gathered whatever information he could find on the crew of fishmen. He was lucky when he'd figured out that these guys thought that they were the shit and that they didn't run or hide. Zoro had actually grown to like the kills that faced him head on instead of running away. However, Zoro's time was running out. He'd managed to find the island he had to go to by kidnapping a navigator to take him there on time, but when he'd arrived, it was the day his assignment was due.

Once he arrived, he let the navigator take his small boat to get back to his island and he quickly set off to find the target's base, which wasn't too long since the place was fucking advertised for the whole world to see with a big ass sign. Before Zoro could reach the base, he was quickly faced with thirty or so fishmen that seemed to be waiting for him to arrive. Zoro glared at all of them as he armed himself with his three katana. After putting Wadou in his mouth, he heard some of the fishmen snicker and said that he looked dumb, and before Zoro launched himself at the closest fishman to him, a random fishman pushed his way up to the front and began to sneer at him.

"So you're Pirate Hunter Roronoa Zoro, huh?! Who knew you would look like that one vice admiral! That must have been your daddy! I wondered why he randomly decided to meet up with Arlong a week ago to say that you'd be here today! He ratted out his own son! Well would you look at that! Man, humans really _are_ cruel!" That fishman laughed, along with the whole group of them, expecting to get some sort of reaction out of him, but like Zoro said, he was numb. He'd gotten so hurt so many times that he'd just quit. He felt absolutely nothing as they scorned him, laughed at him, and told him that his father had screwed him over again. So what? It had happened before, so why wouldn't his father screw him over again?

Zoro just narrowed his eyes to analyze the fishman that had spoken to him, and then he decapitated him.

Stunned, apprehensive silence fell upon the fishmen as they watched their brother's head get detached from his shoulders and fall to the ground with a thud. His blood poured out of his body like water from a small fountain and before his body fell to the ground, Zoro quickly decapitated about five others before the shock that had seized the group wore off.

Zoro may have been strong, but he was only human. He had to take advantage of whatever he could when it was only he, his three katana, and about forty-five super human fishmen who were all trying to kill him for killing their nakama. Zoro got about ten of them to kill each other by dodging their swords and getting them to accidentally impale one another. He also threw dust into the air by using a spinning attack with his katana and killed about three of them under the protection of a dust cloud.

Zoro had managed to take out a good number of them by using tricks and full-blown power. He'd managed himself very well, until reinforcements arrived.  
It was early morning when Zoro had arrived at the island and now it was evening when more fishmen came over to kill him. At this point he was beaten, bruised, cut, punctured, battered, and exhausted. He had no idea how he was going to even lift up his broken right arm, let alone defeat fifty more fucking fishmen!

Nevertheless, Zoro tried.

He'd managed to get several of them to kill each other using the dodging tactic, and he killed two more fishmen before his body just gave out on him. His legs couldn't support his weight any longer, his jaw was too sore to keep Wadou in place, and the last fishman he killed broke his left hand before he departed from this hellish world. He was left defenseless and he'd only had ten more to kill. He struggled to stand up and get Wadou back into his mouth, but he kept falling to his knees and his jaw was too weak.

He was so close to killing this next group. There was no way that there were more of them. Zoro should have killed a good majority of them and there should have only been the captain left.

But now they should be extremely pissed and now it was time for Zoro to go. It was time to depart; to follow everyone he'd killed. It was time for Zoro to die, and he simply accepted it with a slight sigh of relief. It should all be over.

However, once Zoro had fallen over and accepted his fate, the fishmen didn't kill him. Instead one of them walked over to him, picked him up bridal style, and began to walk in the direction his friends were walking.

Zoro was absolutely bewildered and flailed a bit despite his complaining wounds, but then he put two and two together. They were taking him to their leader so then they could either torture him openly, or just execute him as soon as he'd met the captain.

Zoro was about to believe that version of the story until he glanced up at the fishman's face. He did a double take and stared at the fishman's face, stunned at what he saw.

On his forehead, there was a shield mark that seemed to be burnt into his skin. Zoro was extremely disturbed, but his thoughts were interrupted. The fishman's mark glowed a dark blue color, and the next thing Zoro knew was that he'd been thrown to the ground.

Zoro grunted and cursed profoundly as he tried to sit up. Even though his sense of pain had been dulled due to how used he'd gotten to it and to how numb he'd been, he was still in excruciating pain. Once Zoro had gotten into a sitting position and looked up, his face contorted with utter shock and confusion.  
What was his father doing here and why were all these fishmen standing behind him with shield marks burnt into their foreheads?

"Why, hello, Zoro," his father began in a patronizing voice while he fixed Zoro with icy hateful eyes. Zoro didn't respond. He only looked up at his father with wide eyes, gaping at the last person he thought he would see. His father continued despite the lack of a response.

"I'm here to pick you up, worthless trash. You made your third and final mistake, and now it's time to take you back to that marine base to make you pay the consequences. My fishmen buddies will take us back to the island at once, so let's get going," Osamu jeered as he walked away, but that's not what Zoro was really concerned about at the moment. What Zoro was concerned about was that with his father's words, all of the fishmen's foreheads glowed dark blue and they followed behind his father.

Zoro was so bewildered that he'd barely registered that one of the fishmen came back, picked him up, and carried him off in the direction his father had gone. Then, after about twenty minutes or walking, Zoro had registered what had happened, and he was overwhelmed with the most painful and soul-wrenching guilt he'd ever experienced in his whole shitty life, though the numbness he'd had greatly intensified. It was like both of these powerful emotions conspired against him and attacked him at the same time. It was like he'd felt colder and more detached than ever before, while the guilt pulsed in him with powerful waves.

His father was going to kill Koshiro. He was going to take away one of his few reasons to live. He was going to destroy the rest of the family that had accepted and loved him.

And it was all Zoro's fault.

If he'd only been _better_. If he'd only been stronger. If only he weren't himself, then maybe Koshiro wouldn't have to die, and maybe Kuina would still be alive.

Zoro would have gladly and willingly volunteered to sacrifice himself to protect them, but Zoro's father hated him so much that he wanted Zoro to suffer and then die.

After thinking such depressing thoughts, Zoro had become so despondent that he'd barely heard his father begin talking to him. He'd been so lost within his head, he didn't even notice that he was in a small boat with his father. A fishman was with them in the water, ready to push them to that awful island when his father said so.

"You must be dying to know why they have shield burnt marks in their skin, huh?" he asked as he smiled evilly at Zoro, and as if he weren't expecting an answer, he continued with excitement.

"It's because of my devil's fruit power! I ate a devil's fruit several weeks ago! It's called the power-power fruit! I can enhance one trait on an individual and if I chose, I can make them do my bidding! Let me demonstrate," his father said enthusiastically as he turned towards the fishman.

"Go to the island where Shell's town is located," he commanded, and sure enough, the mark glowed and the boat lurched forward before they headed to that blasted island at full speed.

After they'd headed out, his father would speak to him once in a while, but Zoro wasn't listening. He was lost in his head. He was consumed in a wretched ocean that tried to kill him before this execution, and he welcomed it. As he sailed across the ocean with the man he hated the most, he let himself drown in all of his negativity. He deserved it for letting Koshiro down, for letting Kuina down. He'd thought like this until he passed out from the pain and exhaustion.

Then all too soon, Zoro was kicked awake.

He grunted in pain as he woke to a bright early morning sky. Zoro shook his head to try to wake himself up, but he quickly regretted the action since his head pulsed with pain. He must have either gotten a concussion or he was feeling all of his wounds and his tired body complain, or both for that matter. Zoro's thoughts were immediately scattered once he felt someone pick him up and carry him to the base. He looked up to see his father's fishman slave and then he looked ahead of them to see his father's back. Once Zoro's mind caught up with what was happening, he glared at his father's back with every ounce of hatred that he'd accumulated over the years, and he glared at him the whole trip from their boat to the open yard towards the front of the base that was surrounded by a big gray wall. He'd ignored all of the horrified faces of the people of Shell's town and just glared at the man who was supposed to be his father.

Once they'd entered the base, he'd ordered the fishman to tie Zoro to a pole that kind of resembled a short cross while he went inside of the navy base, saying that he had to get something real quick.

Zoro groaned in pain as the fishman restrained both his arms and tied his abdomen to the small cross, and as soon as the fishman was done with the knot around Zoro's stomach, Osamu came back with a small group of marines that walked in a circle formation. The small group of marines all seemed to have troubled expressions on their faces. Zoro wasn't quite sure why they looked uneasy, but was going to soon find out.

Zoro looked up at the group and his face slowly morphed in terror as the small group broke their circle formation to reveal what they were hiding in the middle, or rather _who_.

"Koshiro," Zoro whispered with desperation as he struggled against his restraints. He had to save Koshiro.

_'I have to safe him! I have to! I don't care how beaten up or broken down my body is! No fucking ropes are gonna' stop me! I have to save my real dad!'_ Zoro shouted in his mind as face was slowly consumed with desperation rather than fear.

"Zoro," Koshiro called softly as he smiled a warm comforting smile. His voice and demeanor had somehow managed to calm Zoro down a bit, but what he had to say next filled Zoro with dread.

"You have grown up so much; look at how strong you've become. A handsome young man indeed. Zoro, I am _so_ proud of you. You've worked so hard for so long," Koshiro said as he smiled fondly at his son who he'd hadn't seen for ten years. Zoro was about to say something, but then Osamu knocked Koshiro to his knees and held his head up by his long black hair. Zoro shouted at Osamu to stop until a familiar knife went up to Koshiro's throat, making all of the noise bubbling in Zoro's throat die.

"Any last words before I finish you like I finished your daughter?" Osamu sneered, enjoying Zoro's despairing and petrified expression. Koshiro grunted before he said 'yes,' and when he saw that he was allowed to speak, he spoke words that Zoro had always wanted to hear, but that had also hurt Zoro in unimaginable ways:

"Zoro, I don't know what you've been through all this time, but _live on,_ my son. Keep on surviving until you've found people that will love you as much as you love them. And just know that I don't blame you for anything, and that I will always love you." Koshiro smiled tenderly. Then as soon as he'd finished, Zoro opened his mouth to say that he loved him too, but he was too late.

The knife quickly ran across his skin, severing his throat.

His blood sprayed everywhere, just like hers. His warm blood got into Zoro's open mouth, it got in his eyes, it got in his hair, on his clothes, on his skin; it got everywhere. Not only did it coat Zoro's entire front, but it'd also gotten onto some of the speechless, terrified marines, but Zoro was far too preoccupied with what was going on around him.

Once Koshiro's throat was slit, all of the air was knocked out of Zoro's lungs. Every thought and emotion that was raging inside of him stilled, and all he felt was a veil of horror and shock cover over him. As he watched Osamu drop Koshiro's corpse, Zoro began to hyperventilate. The air just refused to enter his vile lungs; he'd just caused his dad, Koshiro's, death.

After a minute or two, Zoro felt tears pour out of his unblinking eyes, washing away Koshiro's blood. Then, all of his negative emotions crashed into him like a tsunami, and his hyperventilation slowly stopped as he sobbed.

"Oi!" Osamu roared to his stunned subordinates, snapping them out of their daze. "Get that piece of trash out of here!"

They scrambled as they picked up Koshiro's body and carried him away while Zoro was shouting at them to come back with his real dad. They ignored him, and as soon as they were out of sight, Osamu punched Zoro in the face.

"Shut up! That's not your dad! I am!" he bellowed as he clenched his fists at his side, but then Zoro did something that Osamu never thought he'd do.

He looked into Osamu's eyes and he glared daggers of pure hatred at him. Osamu floundered a bit, giving Zoro an opportunity to say something he'd always thought ever since he was nine years old.

"You are _not_ my dad," Zoro growled with hate and finality in his voice.

Osamu's face was consumed with disbelief at what Zoro had said, however, after a few moments of silence, Osamu's face was engulfed with anger and he punched Zoro again before he snarled at him.

"You know what? I'll leave you here for thirty days to starve to death, and if you've somehow survived starvation, I'll kill you _myself_," he hissed with venom laced in his voice. Enraged hatred filled his eyes, but Zoro seemed unfazed by the sentence that Osamu had given him. In spite, Osamu spit on him and walked a short distance away from Zoro before a marine ran towards him with urgent news.

"What is it," Osamu barked at the marine.

Unfazed, the marine delivered his message loud enough for Zoro to overhear.

"Something has happened, Sir. I wasn't informed what it was, but I was ordered to tell you that you are needed elsewhere immediately. You need to depart tonight. The mission should take about a month or two," the marine reported as he saluted.

Osamu sighed in frustration as he brought a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose. He huffed a 'fine' and before he dismissed the marine, he ordered him to summon some guy named Morgan to take over and to ensure that Zoro was watched and unfed until he either died or until Osamu came back. After the order, the marine was dismissed and left with a trouble countenance. Osamu looked up to the sky as if he were asking 'why' and then he left without even sparing Zoro a glance.

Then as soon as he left, Zoro stopped glaring and immediately dropped his sullen gaze to where Koshiro was. Zoro numbly recalled his words and as much as he didn't want to, he silently wept.

His tears were like never-ending waterfalls as he let his emotions stab his beaten heart. Then at one point, Zoro didn't care about being quiet and he started to scream. He screamed and screamed until his chest caved in and his lungs felt like they were going to collapse. He screamed until all of the frustration, the mental pain, emotional pain, physical pain, all dulled. He screamed until his voice gave out, and while he screamed, his tears flowed endlessly.

He was just so fed up. He was so broken, beaten, and battered that he didn't want to go on anymore. Instead of letting thoughts of not wanting to be here engulf him, he screamed to let all of his pent up emotions burst out so then he could live another day. That was what Koshiro wanted, so that was what Zoro did, no matter what he truly felt or thought.

After he was done screaming, he felt light, like he'd just dropped all of the weights and demons that dwelled within him, and even though he knew they would come back to haunt him, he reveled in the temporary peace before he passed out.

When Zoro awoke, the sun was high in the sky and a large tanned blonde man with a metal jaw towered over him. Zoro grunted from the soreness of his entire body and the sharp pain in his neck from sleeping, grabbing the man's attention.

"Oh good, you're awake," the man grumbled with annoyance in his deep voice. "I'm Captain Morgan and that's my son," he introduced as he jabbed a thumb in another man's direction. The other man was wearing a shitty purple suit and had a haircut that resembled the top of a mushroom. He sneered at Zoro, but Zoro mostly ignored the ignorant fool. He'd only spared him a glance, which seemed to tick him off, but Zoro could care less.

"Anyways, I'll be in charge for now and I've been told that you're being punished, so I'll just leave you here to starve," the man said casually as he turned and walked away, though Zoro could care less.

He just didn't care anymore. He was going to die here anyways. Koshiro may have told him to live, but Zoro didn't know if he could in this situation.  
He'd mostly gotten a beating and several large bruises, but he'd also gotten stabbed. He had one stab wound, a fractured right arm, and a sprained hand. With all of the pain that was inflicted upon him, he'd accidentally misjudged his arm and hand injury. However, despite his misjudgment, Zoro should rest his overexerted body, and even if he decided to free himself, his swords had gotten taken away, so he couldn't really defend himself once he'd gotten free.  
So, Zoro just waited for his body to heal and rest before he made any sort of plan to be freed. Nevertheless when the ninth day came, Zoro was just about to give up. His body had more or less healed, but his fractured right arm was still bothering him. He knew that it would take several more days to heal, thanks to his abnormal healing abilities, but Zoro's negativity plagued him.

The whispers told him that he couldn't escape. It told him that he would die of starvation. It told him that he'd disappointed Koshiro; it told him that he'd let him down, that he'd killed him. It told him that no one would come to save his sorry ass.

But Zoro refused to listen to it in Koshiro's honor, and then the luckiest thing had happened to him.

A strange straw-hatted teen jumped over the wall, walked over to him, and asked him to join his crew.

Zoro was stunned at first, but then he'd quickly gathered himself. He had to act like the self he'd developed over the years; like an arrogant bastard that loves booze, naps, is gruff, quiet, mature, but is fiercely loyal, and set in his way of thinking. He had to act like the self that gave the pretense of composure.

Then after the straw-hatted teen, who'd introduced himself as Luffy, broke into the base, stole his swords for him, broke him out, and fed him, Zoro joined his crew to pursue the dream he'd almost given up on, the dream that had always saved his life, the dream that Koshiro and Kuina would want him to achieve.

Of course along the way he'd secretly had his doubts and insecurities about himself and his skills, but he'd managed to put a lid on his depressive tendencies by occupying himself with running away from marines and going on adventures with Luffy's growing crew as he chased his dream.

Nevertheless as the years wore on, his ability to keep the whispers and his depression away dwindled and he'd began to slowly experience them all over again. But this time it made less sense as to why he felt the way he felt, and this time, for whatever reason, he couldn't stop it. He couldn't silence the whispers, or numb himself, but he could dismiss the whispers, and he could distract himself from the feelings he felt.

Then one day, he couldn't dismiss the whispers and he couldn't concentrate on his training or on fighting to distract himself anymore. So he turned to booze to help himself. After that, everything progressed and intensified like they did before.

It'd been about a year at this point that Luffy had found him, and the whispers were loud and clear in his head. His emotions were rarely anything positive. He'd perfected his acting skills after all of these years and he was certain no one would ever pick up on what was dwelling within him. He never wanted to burden anyone. He never wanted anyone to worry about him like how he'd imagined Koshiro worrying about him whenever he was by himself.

He didn't deserve anything that was given to him, but he took anyways so then he could make his dream a reality. Though, he knew his crew would be saddened if he ever voiced negative things like that, he loved his crew too much to make them sad so he just kept his thoughts to himself and put on a smirking mask, even when it was extremely difficult to do so.

Then another two years passed and he reunited with the nakama he'd grown to know and love. His two years away from them were more torturous than he'd let on. He was almost taken away with an extreme feeling of self-loathing, but then he'd asked Mihawke to train him. After that, he managed to put aside his emotions and contemplations for the most part and trained.

When it was time to return to Saboady, Perona guided him back and he saw no one at that bar. He'd felt heartbroken until his rational assumed that he was the first one there, and it seemed as though the rational part of him was correct since he saw the crew slowly grow once again, until they'd found their loveable captain running away from a big ass crowd of marines and pastifistas.

Zoro could genuinely say that he was happy when he'd gotten back to the ship and saw the crew all back together again. His smile came surprisingly easy for once as he watched their antics, and as they set out for another adventure, Zoro felt tranquil and happy.

'_Koshiro,'_ he thought as they ran away from Marines, smiling with ease and sincerity. _'I've found the people that love me as much as I love them.'  
_  
Although Zoro knew that his negative emotions would come back to torment him, he let himself have a moment to smile.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

**Hey! So sorry for how long it took me to update! Life, you know! And then a story idea for bleach would't leave me**

**alone so yeah. Anyways, here you go! Hope you like it! Please review and let me know what you think! Follow and favorite too!**

**A very special thank you goes out to HadenxCharm for being an awesome and amazing beta-reader!**

**And thank you to ALL of my readers! You all motivate me to keep going, so thank you**

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece or any of its wonderful character**  
**Please enjoy!**

"Wh-what?" Sanji breathed as he stared into Zoro's pained green eyes.

It had been several minutes since Zoro had finished his heart-shattering tale, and a stunned stifling silence had filled the room. It only broke once Sanji learned to breathe again. Though he was able to move again, however slight that movement was, his thoughts were still scattered and he didn't know what to do. He didn't know how to help the now vulnerable and exposed moss-ball that seemed to be writhing in his own anxiousness and unease. All he knew was that he was utterly heartbroken, absolutely guilt-ridden, and undeniably anxious, and once Sanji had noticed Zoro's discomfort, he knew he had to say something.

Even so, his thoughts were still everywhere, so in his shaken state of mind, he just reacted; he left his distraught thoughts behind and just acted. He dropped his astonished countenance, making his mouth a hard line and his eyes wrinkle with what seemed like sad understanding, and he tugged Zoro towards him.

Not expecting Sanji's spontaneous movements, Zoro was easily pulled forward. His face was consumed with confusion, and the next thing he knew, he was caught up in a gentle hug with the incapacitated cook. Zoro was so stunned that he didn't react for a few moments, and once his mind caught up to the present, tears weld up in his eyes as he gently returned the battered cook's hug.

Only when he hugged back did Sanji fully understand what was happening, and instead of pulling away from Zoro in surprise, he hugged him just a bit tighter. Some of his wounds protested at the action, but Sanji didn't care. He was just too emotional to care. He was swamped with intense sadness, grief, regret, and guilt, but the two emotions that overshadowed the rest were the desire to comfort Zoro and the overpowering reminder of why he had such strong feelings for him. He was upset that so much shit had happened to Zoro and that he'd been such an asshole to him before landing on this island; he was part of the problem. That knowledge just overwhelmed him with the want, the _need_, to comfort him.

He may have suffered in many unimaginable ways, he may have lost hope along the way, he may have his flaws, he may have been beaten into the ground more times that one could count, he may have deep mental scarring, but Zoro was much more than all of that shit. He's much more complex than his shitty appearance let on. He wasn't two-dimensional or even three-dimensional. He was like a diamond in the rough; he was much more than a stoic, disciplined guy, he was much more than a dedicated swordsman that liked sake too much, he was much more than a used and abused soul, he was so much more than what he said or thought. He was much more than Sanji had ever thought possible. Even though he'd basically said that he was superficial, Sanji could tell that he was very real through his actions that he himself had witnessed in the past and with the emotions that were on his face while he'd been relaying his past minutes before.

He'd looked so ashamed. He'd looked as if he was watching his world crumbling before him for the one-hundredth time. His eyes seemed to be glazed over in melancholy and nostalgia as he recalled the times he'd been buried in the rubble of his crushed and shattered heart. Sanji had witnessed just how benevolent and down-to-earth Zoro was through his actions and body language, and that just made Sanji's heart swell - with sadness, yes - but also with pride and passionate feelings for the moss-ball.

So, when the two pulled away from their hug, Sanji looked into Zoro's stunned and puzzled mossy eyes with unveiled awe and admiration. Sanji didn't care if he was showcasing his emotions on his face, as it would speak what was on his mind better than his words could. He just wanted Zoro to stop feeling so shitty. He just wanted him to be happy.

"You," Sanji's voice trembled with raw emotion, but he paused to get his shaky voice under control. After a few moments of silence, he continued. "You are so unbelievably strong, Zoro. Stronger than anything I could have possibly imagined." Conviction and awe were plain in his voice.

Zoro seemed to be absolutely flabbergasted; his eyes were as large as saucers, his eyebrows slowly rose to meet his hairline, and his jaw was hanging open. He looked so damn cute and he must have been completely blown away by Sanji's actions and words. He probably hadn't expected anything nice from the hard-ass cook. He had probably expected Sanji to be an ass to him. He'd probably expected Sanji to crack a joke to try lighten the dark heavy atmosphere. Instead, Sanji just fell in love all over again, and this time, he was perfectly aware, and in this moment, Sanji was contemplating whether or not to just tell him so then Zoro didn't have to fight alone anymore.

However, before he'd decided to say anything, Sanji had just noticed a rattling sound that was coming from someplace awfully close to the pair. Now that he'd thought about it, that noise might have been present since Zoro had started to recall his past, but Sanji had never really acknowledged it 'till now.

Sanji looked around in confusion as Zoro quickly sat back in that shitty chair in his embarrassment, but Sanji momentarily put that aside until he'd located where the noise was coming from, which didn't take too long. His perplexed eyes quickly landed on the visibly vibrating katana that was at Zoro's side.

"Um," Sanji began dumbly, startling Zoro who had snapped his gaze upward to look at him, but he soon found out that the chef wasn't looking at him. As Sanji spoke in bewilderment, Zoro redirected his gaze to where Sanji was looking: his cursed katana. "What the fuck is wrong with your sword?"

Zoro stared at the trembling cursed katana in a downhearted manner before mumbling an answer, but he was too quiet for Sanji to hear.

"What? Speak up, Marimo, I can't hear you," Sanji huffed placidly as he involuntarily leaned towards Zoro so he could hear him. Zoro didn't seem to notice, since he kept his downcast eyes on the cursed katana as he answered in a low voice.

"I don't know. I'm not sure about what it could be reacting to. All I know is that whenever I'm having... negative thoughts, Sandai Kitetsu shakes like how it's doing now," Zoro mumbled as he knitted his brow in discontent and ran a tired hand through unruly green hair, only to narrow his eyes in discomfort and divert them to the ground. After letting his answer sink in, Sanji blinked and his curly eyebrows rose and his mouth hung open in mild shock. He was somewhat taken aback by Zoro's honest answer, but he'd managed to gather himself to speak.

"Well," he began in an even tone. He swallowed before he continued, relaxing muscles he hadn't realized had tensed up. It wasn't until he'd spoken that he realized he'd hardly thought about what was coming out of his mouth. "Why were you having negative thoughts?"

He regretted his words right away, and the room was was engulfed in a strained silence. He didn't even let Zoro consider whether he should answer or not, scolding himself immediately.

"Oh, shit!" he hissed, cursing himself for asking such a stupid question. "I… uh, sorry for being a bit insensitive there, and, uh, I may have been prying too much. Besides, it must have been because you were talking about your past. Sorry about that," Sanji quickly mumbled as he hung his head and diverted his eyes from Zoro's, who was slowly lifting from the katana to Sanji in wonder as he apologized.

As soon as He'd heard the apology, however, he glanced back at the katana, and suddenly it hit him like a ton of bricks. Sanji's eyes grew impossibly wide as his eyebrows rose to his hairline and his jaw went slack. His face was completely consumed by realization and Zoro began to look at this cook like he'd grown two fucking heads. Sanji didn't care though, because he'd finally put two and two together.

_'Zoro's depression,'_ Sanji thought slowly as he swallowed in a fruitless attempt to smooth the sudden dryness of his throat, _' and that legend's curse that the shitty old panda was talking about… they must be connected... right?'_

"Sanji?"

At the sound of Zoro's puzzled call, Sanji blinked as he was brought back into reality. His face was blank for a moment before it was set in determination. This confused Zoro further until Sanji spoke in a firm tone: "Zoro, I have something very important to tell you. Take it seriously and listen to what I have to say, you shitty swordsman."

: -:

There.

He'd told someone.

He'd finally told someone everything, the whole truth, and now he had no idea what the fuck to do.

This was the first time he'd felt so vulnerable. This was the first time he'd felt so... _exposed_, like he'd just bared his soul out for Sanji to see, and when he'd said and done nothing after Zoro had finished, he didn't know what to do. He didn't know what to say. He felt extremely constricted, like his lungs were having the oxygen squeezed out of them. He felt overwhelmingly anxious to see how Sanji had reacted to his past and how badly he himself was dealing with everything that had happened. He also felt absolutely heartbroken at the negativity of his thoughts in the asphyxiating silence.

He couldn't stop his thoughts from going in a downward spiral. He kept thinking that Sanji would start thinking that he was weak and pitiful, that he wasn't as strong as he'd portrayed himself to be. He was afraid that Sanji would start to hate him for being such a fake bastard and for deceiving the whole crew. He kept thinking that maybe he shouldn't have said anything, that maybe he should have kept his past a secret and laugh off the thought that he was going through depression. He wasn't worth this; he wasn't worth worrying Sanji or bothering him with this.

However, Sanji did something that was beyond Zoro's wildest dreams. Zoro had never even fathomed that Sanji would just hug him out of the blue, and when he did, Zoro almost cried.

His mind finally calmed into a placid state as he gently returned the hug. Maybe this was what Zoro needed. He just needed someone to talk to and to provide the comfort he'd always secretly wanted. When Sanji hugged him, Zoro felt warmth and life flow into his cold desolate self. He felt calm and relaxed, a tingling sensation buzz throughout his body, from his head down to his toes. He felt the tightness in his lungs ease as fresh clean oxygen cascaded into them.

Only Sanji could make him feel this way. Only he could make Zoro feel so light and blissful. All too soon the hug ended and Zoro's thoughts began to trickle back into his mind, but they were dammed once more when Zoro looked into his eyes. They were overflowing with unmasked admiration, and they were directed straight at Zoro.

Zoro was so astonished that he couldn't prevent the shock from showing on his face. Why the hell would Sanji be looking at him with such affection? Before Zoro could try to answer his own question, Sanji spoke.

"You," he'd started, his voice trembling with pure emotion, but he paused to get his voice under control, and once he did, he continued, "You are so unbelievably strong, Zoro. Stronger than anything that I could have possibly imagined." The conviction and awe saturating his voice left Zoro absolutely bewildered.

He was so stunned. He didn't know what to say or do, so he just sat in that shitty chair, staring dumbly into Sanji's warm, loving, blue eyes. They stayed like that for a few minutes until Sanji's affectionate countenance fell into confusion, though Zoro still didn't snap out of his daze until Sanji spoke.

"Um," he began, looking elsewhere, and as he continued, Zoro's eyes followed Sanji's to rest upon his katana, "What the fuck is wrong with your sword?"

Zoro stared at the trembling cursed katana in a saddened manner before mumbling an answer. He hoped that Sanji had heard him so that he wouldn't have to say something so embarrassing and awful again, but of course that hadn't worked in his favor, because Sanji asked him to repeat himself. So, as Zoro kept his downcast eyes on his trembling katana, he repeated himself in a low tone.

"I don't know. I'm not sure about what it could be reacting to. All I know is that whenever I'm having... negative thoughts, Sandai Kitetsu shakes like how it's doing right now," he huffed as he knitted his eyebrows in discontent and ran a tired hand through his hair. Then he narrowed his eyes in discontent and redirected them to the ground.

He felt so ashamed of himself for being so damn weak. Even though Sanji had told him he was really strong, Zoro didn't see it, he couldn't see how he was strong. He was soon brought back to reality once more when Sanji innocently questioned him in an even tone.

"Well," he began, though he paused to swallow before he continued once more, "Why were you having negative thoughts?"

Zoro was slightly taken aback, not really expecting him to ask straight out like how he did. Zoro had thought Sanji may have tried to ask that question in some roundabout way, but before Zoro could even think about whether to answer or not, Sanji began to ramble.

"Oh, shit!" the blonde hissed. He seemed to realize what he'd asked as he quickly continued. "I... uh, sorry for being a bit insensitive there, and, uh, I may have been prying too much. Besides, it must have been because you were talking about your past. Sorry about that," he mumbled hurriedly as he hung his head and diverted his eyes to the bed sheets.

When Zoro heard his apology, he slowly lifted his gaze to look at Sanji in wonder. He had not been expecting that from him at all. To be frank, Zoro didn't really get why he was apologizing. It was an honest question that was reasonable for a situation like the one they were in. It was only normal for Sanji to not totally understand without some sort of explanation; even Zoro knew that. Right when Zoro was going to tell Sanji that he didn't need to apologize, Sanji's countenance completely changed, confusing Zoro further. His oceanic eyes grew large as his curly eyebrows rose to his hairline while his mouth hung open. He'd seemed like he had an astonishing revelation, and Zoro just looked back at him as if he had just grown two fucking heads, but it seemed as though Sanji could care less since he kept staring wide-eyed at him. It was only when Zoro had spoken up that Sanji snapped out of his daze.

"Sanji?" Zoro called, puzzled as to why the chef was looking at him in astonishment.

At the sound of his name, Sanji blinked, his face went blank, and before Zoro could question him, his expression was set in determination. Sanji finally spoke in a firm tone.

"Zoro, I have something very important to tell you. Take it seriously and actually listen to what I have to say, you shitty swordsman."

: -:

Chopper closed the door behind him and he huffed out a world-weary sigh. This was all he could really do for Zoro, and it was killing him how he couldn't do more. All he could do was research, make medicine, and hope that the medicine and therapy would all work.

"Damn it," Chopper mumbled as he bit his bottom lip and furrowed his eyebrows in frustration. If only he could do more...

He sighed again, releasing all of his pent up frustrations as he slumped his shoulders and walked sluggishly to the deck where the rest of the crew was no doubt sitting and waiting in anticipation. Once he reached the lawn of the deck, his prediction proved right, as he blankly looked into the questioning, curious, worried eyes of the rest of the crew. There was a strained silence that rested upon the normally rowdy pirate crew. They looked like they were about to burst with questions for the little doctor, and before Chopper could say anything, everyone began to speak all at once, as if their questions and worries had broken free from the mouths that had kept them prisoner. It was only Luffy and Chopper that stayed silent as the rest spoke with anxiety, gesticulations, and walked closer to the little reindeer.

"Everyone," Luffy said evenly, grasping the attention of the distressed bunch. They all looked at him in mild shock, as if they'd just noticed that he was there, but after a moment of silence, they backed away from Chopper. Luffy glanced at his present crew members, as if he was looking to see if any one of them had anything left to say, and once he saw that they were going to keep quiet, he fixed his blank gaze onto Chopper, who lowered his eyes to the grass.

"Go on, Chopper," Luffy prompted placidly as he crossed his arms over his chest. When Chopper heard his name, one of his fluffy ears twitched as he lifted his blank gaze to look into Luffy's unreadable eyes. Chopper stared at his captain for a moment before he gave a curt nod. He cleared his throat, gave a quick glance around to look at everyone's anxious faces, and spoke in his doctor voice.

"Sanji will be just fine. He suffered from a lot of wounds, but he pulled through. He'll be perfectly fine with rest and some painkillers," he informed, though once he'd said his first sentence, everyone excluding Luffy, Franky, and Robin were sighing in relief, laughing in joy and even cheering in triumph.

"So can we go see him?" Nami asked with a wide smile on her face and hope in her voice.

"No," Chopper said firmly as he shook his head. This deeply confused her.

"'No?' Why not?" she asked, completely baffled as to why they couldn't see their nakama. He was okay, right? So what was the problem?

"Because he's talking with Zoro," he began seriously, but then Nami cut him off.

"'Talking to Zoro?' About what? What's so important that they can't talk about it with the rest of us? We're a crew, right? Shouldn't we know too? Besides, it could be important for everyone to know, not just two people. I mean-"

"Nami," Luffy cut in with finality in his voice. This caused her to stop talking and stare at him with wide eyes.

"I know you're worried, but just listen to him," he said monotonously and directed his eyes to Chopper. Nami stared at him for a moment before she just sighed softly and look at the little doctor. Chopper looked at Luffy as if he were asking for permission to continue, and when Luffy gave a small curt nod, Chopper began to speak once more.

"You guys can't go to see Sanji right now because he and Zoro are having a very serious and a very personal discussion. I cannot tell you what they are talking about, because for one, I follow a very important policy about patient's confidentiality - I can't be a good doctor if I don't - and for two, I do not know about everything they are talking about, just the bare bones. Even with what little I know, again, I am not stating what I know, again due to patient's confidentiality. Moreover, it's best for their health for them to talk privately."

Once he'd finished, a stunned silence filled the air. The only ones who did not have the countenance of shock were Luffy, Franky, Robin, and Chopper. Those four were the only ones who looked slightly sad. Chopper looked at the face of all of his nakama, though his gaze lingered on the other three who had different expressions than he'd thought they would have.

_'They must have either known something or suspected something, or maybe Zoro told them something... Well, there's no use in thinking about it. It's not like I can do anything about it now,'_ Chopper thought as he sighed.

"Well then," Luffy began in a serious tone, grasping the attention of everyone present. "I guess we wait."

With that, the crew all gave small nods, several humming quietly before they all dispersed to do their own individual activities, though all of them lacked their usual enthusiasm. It was as though they were all lethargic as they went back to do what they usually do. At one point, Brooke began to play a melancholy song that suited the atmosphere that hung over the Thousand Sunny, but when the song was over, the downhearted atmosphere that it had brought persisted. It was only after a while that the gloomy air around the ship dissipated when an unexpected force collided into the side of the Sunny with a bang and caused the adrenaline to flow through the crew once more.

: -:

"E-excuse me?" Zoro choked out once Sanji was done telling him about a 'shitty old panda-man', a legend's curse, and how Sandai Kitetsu was related to that curse by being one of the weapons that a king possessed before he'd died.

"You heard me, Zoro. It's all true. That curse is almost exactly like the one that was told to you when you got that katana," Sanji huffed in slight frustration at Zoro's lack of understanding, though Zoro just got more confused.

"Wait, how do you know about that? I don't recall ever telling you about Sandai Kitetsu's curse," Zoro said slowly in a puzzled tone. Sanji stiffed a bit at his question, and then he looked a bit sheepish as he spoke.

"I overheard you tell Robin. You told her because she was interested in that kind of stuff, right?" he said as he gave a slightly timid shrug and a lopsided smile. Zoro looked at him before he smiled at the blonde softly.

"Yeah, I did," he said gently, but then his countenance changed to serious. "But I think I can see how that legend's curse is Sandai Kitetsu's actual curse. It really _is_ very similar to the one I was told."

"Yeah," Sanji gravely replied, slightly slumping his shoulders. "I also think..." he began but trailed off, finding it hard to continue, but when Zoro gently held his hand, silently urging him to continue, he gathered himself and spoke.

"I think that this curse and your depression are connected. I think that Sandai Kitetsu may think that your depression is a 'weakness', even though that's complete bullshit," Sanji began somewhat shakily, but ended with audacity as he snarled and scowled at the gall that the katana had to think something like depression was a weakness.

When Zoro didn't reply, Sanji looked over to him with a questioning gaze. Zoro seemed to be shocked about something and whatever it was escaped Sanji completely.

"What?"

"You think that it's bullshit?" Zoro said in a daze at first, though it seemed as though that question was supposed to be in his head, for when he realized what he'd said, he looked somewhat panicked. He opened his mouth to dismiss what he'd said but Sanji spoke first.

"Yeah," he said firmly, looking into Zoro's eyes with determination and firmness. "I think it's bullshit. No, I _know_ it's bullshit. It's not a damn weakness, moss-for-brains. You have to be too damn strong to deal with it, especially if you've has dealt with it for as long as you have. It's not a weakness. That damn shitty sword is stupid and arrogant if it thinks your depression is a weakness."

A stunned silence filled the room as Sanji continued to look at him with conviction. Zoro was once again consumed with shock. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. He was hearing the words he'd desperately needed to hear for so damn long.

"Thank you," he whispered once his brain finally caught up with what was happening, but he'd said it so quietly that Sanji hadn't heard him.

"What was that?" the cook asked gently as he raised a curious curly eyebrow. Zoro released a breath that resembled a low soft chuckle and shook his head.

"It was nothing, but," he began with a smile, but then turned very serious and pensive, "I don't believe my… mental health… is Kitetsu's doing."

"Huh? Then why does it shake when you think negatively?" Sanji asked, utterly and honestly confused. He didn't sound judgmental or anything of the like; he'd sounded like he was genuinely curious and that he really wanted to help Zoro figure this out, and it did things to Zoro. It made him feel so fucking grateful and light, like the persistent heaviness in his chest was lifted from him. It made him feel so warm and secure. It made his chest swell with emotions for the blonde. Why was he feeling all of these things now? Zoro wasn't sure, but to hell with it, he was just happy that he didn't feel like he usually did. Unfortunately, his reverie was cut short when that sweet baritone called him.

"Zoro? What's up? Why're you smiling? Did I say something funny?" Sanji innocently asked as he leaned closer to Zoro to see if he was feeling okay.

Zoro hadn't realized a small smile had crept onto his face, but when he was called out on it, he immediately became serious once more. Now was not the time for his unrequited feelings.

"No, it's nothing important. Anyways," Zoro dismissed his questions and continued in a serious manner before Sanji could ask further. "I am pretty sure it shakes in response to my negative thoughts, like it knows what I'm thinking and it thinks that it's… weak. However, I think the physical symptoms and that godforsaken whisper in my head that I've been hearing lately are the katana's doing."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up," Sanji said as he waved his hand in the air to stop Zoro. "You've been hearing a voice in your head? Zoro, are you _sure_ you're not going crazy?" he asked in obvious concern and fear for Zoro's mental health.

Zoro snarled at him as a nerve pinched on his forehead in irritation.

"Of course I'm not going crazy, shithead." Zoro hissed as he pinched the bridge of his nose to calm himself down. Now was not the time to bash in his crush's beautiful curly head.

"But," Zoro grunted as he cast a glare at Sanji who looked at him apologetically. When he saw the look on his face, he just huffed, offered him a small smile as an acceptance of his apology and continued with a serious tone and expression. "There was this strange whisper that kept telling me rather… damaging… things that got me down."

'_It's not like it was saying anything that I didn't really think or believe myself, so it didn't really matter, huh?'_ he asked himself darkly within the recesses of his own mind.

"Zoro," Sanji began as he squeezed Zoro's hand, but Zoro raised his unoccupied hand to silence him as he squeezed back to reassure the worried blonde.

"It's okay, Sanji. I don't hear it in my head anymore. Plus I only started hearing it when we came to this forsaken island, just like the sudden intensity of my headaches and other physical symptoms."

"What? The sudden intensity of your headaches and other physical symptoms? What do you mean?" Sanji questioned in irritation due to his lack of patience and understanding.

"I mean that around when we got to this island, all of my physical symptoms worsened."

"What," Sanji said in a small low tone. His eyes grew slightly and he sat up a bit straighter. He was in disbelief, but Zoro just continued to explain himself as if he hadn't noticed anything, even when Sanji looked down at the sheets between them in stunned sadness. He hated misunderstandings more than anything, almost even more than that damned whisper, so he had to make sure Sanji knew exactly what he was talking about and that he didn't misunderstand anything.

"My headaches increased with unfathomable intensity. I have an increased case of insomnia; I didn't even sleep the night you were in that damned bed the first time. I have an unusual lack of energy, more than before. I even have a craving for more sake than I usually do, though I'm not sure if the last one is even relevant. All of that isn't normal and it all started happening when we landed. It's when Kitetsu started to shake."

"But why don't you think that the emotional symptoms are also being influenced by that sword's curse?" Sanji asked with undying inquisitiveness and anticipation. Zoro stiffened at the question and sent an unsure sideglance Sanji's way before answering.

"Because I know for a fact that this… these emotions… would intensify if left by itself. It happened to me already, before I joined the crew and found a distraction. These feelings will dwell and grow over time unless you find a way to take your mind off it, and I bet Kitetsu knew that if it could get into my head, so it didn't try to increase what I was feeling. What I think it was trying to do was make me feel more wretched by using something else…" Zoro murmured, but he trailed off once he'd finally realized something. Sanji looked at him quizzically for suddenly stopping, but Zoro didn't care. He was consumed with shock.

As he was explaining what he thought about how his katana's curse was affecting him, he'd finally understood.

''_Another wound on a bleeding heart,'… 'That's all Sanji would be… another wound on a bleeding heart.' That's what that whisper meant! It used Sanji as a way to hurt me further. It used one of the only things in my life that made me carry on against me. It tried to make me feel worse by bringing to my attention that this unrequited love I have is for naught. I mean, it wasn't lying and I still believe it, but it's like it used my own thoughts and feelings against me, because even though it was just a whisper from my katana, it was still my own thoughts. It brought my own thoughts against me. It dug up thoughts that I refused to think and shoved them in my face. It only made me aware of what was actually in my heart, and god do I hate it. I hate it so much.'_

"Zoro… Zoro!"

He was made aware of his surroundings once again by the call of that rough baritone that he enjoyed hearing so much.

"Hm?" he hummed as he pursed his lips and looked into worried blue orbs. Sanji's handsome countenance was consumed with distress for the swordsman. This caused Zoro to frown slightly and squeeze the blonde's hand to comfort him.

"It's okay. I'm fine, I just realized something that wasn't too important," Zoro lied between his teeth as he fixed Sanji with a kind, warm, reassuring smile. The blonde glared at him as if he didn't believe him, but then his glare melted into a cute pout as a small blush rose on his face.

Zoro thought this was the cutest thing ever, but along with his feelings of infatuation for the blonde, he felt so fucking guilty.

He lied again, and even if he'd lied many times before, this time he felt worse than he usually would. Why? Well, first of all it was because he said the damn words 'I'm fine.'They were the most superficial words he'd ever heard in his fucking life.

He never believed those words from himself or anyone else. Whenever someone said those damned words, it meant they were blatantly lying to your face and you don't even fucking know it.

Second of all, his revelation was so fucking important. Well, it was to him. He'd just realized that the person he'd felt the most for, the only one that brought him the most happiness, the one that shooed away the depressing thoughts, the one who lifted the weight in his chest and made it easier to fucking breathe was also the one that hurt him so fucking much with his damned prancing around when he saw some hot broad. He was also the one that made Zoro feel hopeless and like he wasn't good enough. He made Zoro feel like the dirt he walked on. He made Zoro feel like he was unworthy, but it wasn't his fault. It was _all_ Zoro's fault. Sanji had done nothing. He just existed while Zoro made him another wound on a bleeding heart, on _his_ bleeding heart.

"Zoro?" Sanji called once again when he saw Zoro's smile melt away to a shameful frown, his voice filled with a mixture of apprehension and curiosity. They both failed to notice the trembling of Kitetsu since they were both preoccupied.

Zoro opened his mouth to lie again and tell Sanji that he was fine when he was abruptly interrupted by something colliding with the side of the Sunny and exploding.

Zoro jumped out of his chair and braced himself for something to happen while Sanji jumped in sheer surprise, flinching as he'd pulled his stiches.

Zoro noticed him flinch and helped him to lie down on the bed so he could rest. Sanji stared at Zoro with astonishment and slight fear. Who could blame him? The kick-ass cook who didn't need to rely on anyone to fight his battles was currently powerless in his state. He couldn't do a fucking thing; of course it would frighten someone so fiercely independent and strong.

Zoro understood this deeply and he just directed an assuring, sincere smile and took his hand to squeeze it once more in an effort to provide some comfort, which seemed to work since the stiffness and tension in Sanji's body seemed to ebb away. Zoro squeezed his hand once more, got up, and turned to leave the chef to face a new battle. Before he left, he smartly used his observation haki to see if the enemy was close to the infirmary so then he could be prepared this time and be able to protect his loved one.

He found that there weren't any enemies near the infirmary; instead they were lurking near the front of the ship. He'd also found out _who_ was attacking them, and once he'd realized whom it was, he snarled. His countenance and the aura around him darkened greatly as he hunched his shoulders.

Sanji felt this and was about to ask Zoro what the hell was up with him, but Zoro, who didn't bother turning around, spoke in a low deep voice that Sanji couldn't get a read on it. He didn't know if it sounded more sorrowful, crushed, or threatening; he just knew that Zoro was dead serious.

"I'm done. I've had enough. I'm so damn tired. This ends here. I don't care if I fucking die. I'm not afraid to die in the first place… I… I just want this to fucking stop."

Sanji was so bewildered that he couldn't breathe, let alone say anything. Where did this come from? What was up with Zoro?  
Before Sanji could fumble around in his brain and try to come up with some sort of fathomable explanation, Zoro moved, silencing Sanji's frantic thoughts.

Zoro straightened his shoulders, seeming as though he was steeling himself, trudged over to Sanji, his expression unreadable, and then…

He kissed him.

Zoro leaned down to Sanji and gave him a sweet, gentle, chaste kiss. Sanji's mind and heart stuttered to a stop, and his eyes grew impossibly wide, trying to comprehend what was happening. All too soon, Zoro pulled away to see Sanji's surprised and flushed expression as a tingling sensation was left on both of their lips. He smiled down at him sadly at him, and spoke in a small soft tone, so soft that Sanji almost missed what he said.

"Sorry, I bet you didn't expect that, but this may be the last time I ever see you, and if it is, I at least wanted to kiss you before I left."

And with that, he turned to leave and fight what was probably his last battle. Sanji was jolted into action once his brain comprehended what Zoro had just said. Sanji tried to frantically get up from the bed, but then a sharp pain erupted from his stomach wound and he fell back into the bed, yelling for Zoro to not leave.

"Come back here, you bastard! Don't leave! You can't just do that and leave! You can't just say that and leave me here! Come back! Zoro! Don't go! Don't you dare die on me you shitty bastard!" he cried frantically, desperately, wanting the swordsman to come back and take responsibility for that kiss, wanting Zoro to come back to him and to reassure him that he would try his absolute best to not go out and get himself killed.

But his shouts were ignored as Zoro left the infirmary. He muttered an "I'm so sorry," to the door, and ran off to the deck where his father was waiting.

The crew was sizing up the enemy when he first arrived and was on the lawn of the deck in a heartbeat, just in time before Luffy decided to take on the strange green-haired vice-admiral. There was a large group of low-ranked marines and in front of them were Smoker and Osamu, but Smoker was just behind Osamu, making it appear as though Osamu was the leader of this operation, which Zoro figured was most likely the case.

As soon as Zoro appeared on the deck, Osamu redirected his cold deadly eyes from Luffy to Zoro and kept his eyes on him. Zoro glared back at him with all of the hatred he could possible muster up within his being, ignoring the surprised murmurs of his nakama that were stating that Zoro and the weird vice-admiral looked "very similar" and that it was "unnerving."

Before anyone could question Zoro, Osamu broke the tense silence with a condescending tone filled with poisonous deadly venom dripping from his voice.

"So, _Zoro_," he began spitting his son's name at him as if it left a foul taste in his mouth. "How _have_ you been?"

Zoro tensed when his name was called by his father and ignored the puzzled stares probing his back. He knew his nakama were questioning why and how he knew this man. He knew that they had speculations, and he knew they would all know who this man was.

"Zoro, do you know this guy?" Luffy asked with child-like curiosity, but Zoro ignored him in favor of glaring daggers drenched with venom at Osamu. He tried to send all of his abhorrence, disgust, and anger to this man he had called his father, but Osamu was unaffected by his son's hate-filled glare as he continued with his insanely cold venomous tone.

"_Oh_, come now, Zoro, you never told them about _me_?" he said with an icy smile as he took a step closer to his son and placed a hand in the center of his chest.

"Cut the crap, Osamu! What the _fuck_ do you want from me this time!? _Huh_!?" Zoro roared in rage and resentment, startling all of his nakama, including Luffy.

Zoro sounded so… scary. He sounded infuriated and he had so much hate in his voice that it baffled them. They barely recognized who this three-sword wielding man was. Zoro didn't take notice as he continued, though this time he spoke in a low, deep, threatening tone that would even send a chill down Black Beard's spine.

"Whatever it is you want, I'll make sure you don't get it. You want to take me back, huh. Take me back to that fucking place, huh? To execute me? Torture me? Put me back into that fucking retarded program with another threat hanging over my head, huh? Do you want to hurt and capture my nakama? Take back Sanji? Hurt him? Execute all of them? Heh', well whatever the hell it is, as long as I'm alive, you won't get it," he hissed at the vice-admiral, putting Wadou in his mouth, fully arming himself whilst he ignored the bewildered stares he felt on him.

Osamu looked at him in surprise as well, then suddenly he started to laugh as if what Zoro said was the funniest goddamned thing in the whole fucking world. This just threw fucking gasoline into Zoro's flame of hatred and anger, but he held himself back before he did something outstandingly stupid. Osamu's laughing eventually died down, and once he finally caught his breath he spoke with a amused yet cold tone.

"Oh my _arrogant_, _stupid_, _reckless_, _useless_ son," he began, causing all of Zoro's nakama to gasp and mumble to themselves about how this was "outrageous," but Zoro remained unaffected as he continued to glare whilst Osamu continued. "I don't want your _pathetic_ life, or the lives of your precious 'nakama.' You are all _worthless_ to me, as worthless as that little girl that you liked so much, and the old man that was her father and your adopted father. _I_ don't need _things_ that are of no use or value. Your lives are just a bonus, since the world government wants all of your heads. What I want is something that is useful to me. I want your sword, Sandai Kitetsu, and I do not mind if I have to kill such a pathetic excuse of a son like yourself."

Zoro remained unaffected until Osamu stated what he wanted. When he said he wanted Sandai Kitetsu, his blood froze and he stiffed as his face was consumed with surprise.

"Oh? Surprised that I don't give a shit about you? Surprised that I just want your fucking sword? Oh, come now, Zoro, don't be so surprised, I just want to finish my _collection_," the man mocked as Zoro gathered himself. Zoro took a moment to calm down, clear his head, and think about what Osamu had said whilst he ignored the stunned silence that had rested upon the Strawhats that threatened to choke him.

"What do you mean when you said that you want to finish your 'collection?'" Zoro spoke with cautious interest in his voice as he braced himself, ready to spring into action just in case. However, instead of answering, Osamu just began to chuckle manically as he managed to squeeze out a response after a few minutes of trying.

"Aha! Why the fuck would I tell a dead man that! Holy shit, Zoro! You're such _fucking_ a comedian," he began hysterically but ended with a lethal tone as he stilled himself from his trembles of laughter. Then he held his hand out to Smoker, keeping his empty, frigid gaze on Zoro and grasped onto a katana that Smoker handed to him.

Once he had the katana in hand, Osamu smiled a sick crazed smile and unsheathed the katana. Zoro was ready to spring at his biological father, but once that katana Osamu held was released from its scabbard, Sandai Kitetsu howled, as did the katana in Osamu's hand. Zoro glanced at Sandai, but ultimately ignored it as he honed his senses for the fight ahead. Zoro mumbled to Luffy to "leave Osamu to me, take care of the rest, and Sanji," before he took up a fighting stance to face the man in front of him.

Osamu's icy smile turned into a crazed smirk as he commanded the small army with flame marks on their head to "attack the Strawhat crew except for the green one," and then fierce battles raged all around the father-son confrontation.

"Now then," the vice-admiral's smooth aloof voice hummed over the sounds of battle, causing Zoro to glare ice daggers coated in poison at him. "Let's begin the first and final brawl between us, my son."

Zoro snarled at him as he hissed with every ounce of animosity he had, "I'm not your son, and _you_ are not my father, you shitty old bastard. You'll pay for what you've done. You'll pay with your goddamn, godforsaken, shitty, disgusting, wretched life, you fucking bastard!"

Zoro seemed to have hit a nerve somewhere in Osamu with his little rant, because once he'd finished his outburst, he saw Osamu's expression changed from shocked, to hurt, to downright anger, and then it darkened. His eyes were hooded with so much bloodlust and hatred that it kind of burned Zoro with just a look, and then Osamu mumbled something unexpected, causing Zoro to understand what he'd meant by completing his collection, but further confusing him as to _why_ he wanted to complete this collection so badly. He'd said: "Sandai Kitetsu, meet Nidai Kitetsu, your brother," as he tried to impale Zoro right in the middle of his chest.

Zoro managed to recover from his initial surprise and block the attack by crossing his two katana in front of him. Sparks flew as metal clashed and chattered as the two struggled to best the other while Sandai and Nidai Kitetsu were shaking and howling against each other.

Zoro snarled at Osamu, but the vice-admiral held his lethal countenance as they both jumped back away from each other. Once Zoro backed away from his biological father, his snarl dissipated and his expression matched Osamu's. They both looked at each other with emotionless, jaded, stony eyes, their expressions calloused. They stared at each other like that for a small while. Nothing was said between the two. To the untrained eye, one would think that they were just sizing each other up, or just staring at each other, waiting for the other to move first, but to the well-seasoned fighter, one would see that they were expressing their hatred and bloodlust to each other through their expression. They were expressing how they longed to kill the other. How had it come to this? Even with a well-trained eye, one wouldn't know. Maybe due to a string of mistakes, but in this moment none of that mattered as they lunged towards each other with emotionless countenances and the desire to kill. They sprang towards each other to begin the first and final fight they would ever have, and one of them will surely end up dead.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

***Hello! Here's the next chapter! Just a head's up, I may not update this fanfic for a while since my college classes are going to start soon. HOWEVER, I am NOT dropping this fanfic! I've worked too hard to come so close to the end and not finish it... plus I think someone _may_ murder me if I don't finish it... so yeah. This isn't the end, but we are close to the end, so thank you so much for reading. Please tell me what you think! Please follow, favorite and review! These let me know that I'm doing something right! Thank you anyways if you don't do any of those things! I am very grateful to everyone, and I really mean it from the bottom of my heart. Thank you.**

**A special thank you goes out to my wonderful beta-reader HadenxCharm! This fanfic wouldn't be good without her!**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own One Piece or any of its wonderful, colorful characters!**

**Warning: I guess sadness (I don't think it's too sad, but I wouldn't take my word for it...), violence, blood, and lots of swearing**

**Please enjoy!***

"_Zoro_! You _fucking_ bastard!" Sanji roared at the door as he curled his fists into his shirt, gripping it with all of his strength as if he were holding himself back from chasing after him. Not like he could: he was far too hurt to go after him without bleeding out.

"You fucking _know_ I can't chase after you in this shitty _useless_ state that I've been reduced to!" he spat at the door with all of his irritation and frustration gushing out of him like a geyser. His voice was gravelly, trembling and cracking with all of the anger, helplessness, and frustration clawing out of him.

"Please! Come back…! You can't just fucking kiss me and then leave! Don't act as if you're about to fight your last battle…! You fucking shitty moss-head! Don't go," Sanji whispered hoarsely as he shook his head slowly, wishing with everything he had that Zoro would just stroll back through that damn door with a scowl on his shitty face and say that Sanji looked fucking stupid yelling at a door.  
However, Zoro didn't come back as the sounds of battle raged around him. He didn't come back, and to be absolutely honest, Sanji felt like crying. Only god knows how he hadn't already. He was experiencing way too many emotions, and his thoughts were ramming into each other at a frightening velocity.

He was furious. He was distraught. He was aggravated. He was vexed. He was anxious. He was flustered. He was helplessly confused.

_'__Why?! Why did he do that? Why would he…! Why would he just kiss me and leave?'_ Sanji thought as he pursed his lips and his expression twisted in pain as he continued to desperately stare at the door, ignoring the sounds of battle around him that were assaulting his eardrums.

_'__Why, goddamn it?! Did he do it because he thought it was his last chance to kiss someone? Did he do it in the heat of the moment? Did he do it because… he might actually like me… and since he thought his would be his last battle… he kissed me since he thought it was his last chance to do so?'_ Sanji held his breath as his gaze slowly trailed down the door and to the floor as distressing shock began to overtake his face. He lifted a shaky hand to cover his mouth as a trembling breath escaped him. He tightened his grip on his shirt and hunched over slightly to stare at the wooden floor at the edge of the bed, despite his wounds' protest.

_'__That couldn't be it… could it? He couldn't possibly like me… right? But then, why else would he have done it?'_

Sanji began to frantically go through all of his memories with Zoro in his head with the idea of him possibly sharing his own emotions. He went through each memory, analyzing each one, searching for all of the overlooked or ignored signs, words and sentences that went unquestioned, behavior and body language that went unnoticed or dismissed… and Sanji was stunned.

As he went through all of his memories, his face slowly morphed in bewilderment, desperation, and devastation. His eyebrows wrinkled together in distress as his mouth hung open with distraught disbelief. His blue eyes were a whirlpool of realization and horror.

"Oh my god," Sanji sobbed, eyes wide and moist as tears began to spill down his pale face. He tightened his grip on his shirt, knuckles turning stark white.

"Oh my god… Zoro… no, no, no, _no, NO!_" Sanji cried as his trembling voice escalated in volume. This was too much. This was way too much to handle. How could he have not realized it before? How could he have not realized something this important?!

_'__If I hadn't been such a coward, I could have confessed! Or if I had just picked up on it sooner instead of convincing myself that he'd never come to love me, then! Then I could have done something! But now?! Is it too late?!'_

"No! Zoro! Zoro, I love you! I love you so much, you shitty bastard! Come back here in one goddamn piece!" Sanji cried at the top of his lungs in hope that Zoro could somehow hear him, but he knew he wouldn't. He knew he probably looked insane as he mumbled to himself with soft muffled sobs while he shouted at a door, but he didn't care. He just wanted the man he loved to come back to him so he could finally confess.

Sanji just wanted him to come back to him. Sanji wanted to hug him, tell him everything was going to be okay, whisper tender nothings into his ear as he lay in his arms. Sanji wanted him to kiss him again and again and again. Sanji wanted to fall asleep next to him and wake up next to him. Sanji wanted to cook for him and have him finally say that his cooking was fucking exceptional. Sanji wanted to see his smile. Sanji wanted to see his scowl. Sanji just wanted to see his shitty face again.

Maybe he was being selfish for asking so much, for wanting so many things, so he'd just narrow it down to one want: _'I just want my fucking shitty moss-ball…'_

: -:

"Some of these marines are getting knocked out a lot faster than they used to! I wonder what happened?" Chopper shouted over the noise as he punched yet another marine's lights out, not speaking to anyone specifically.

Suddenly, Chopper caught Nami in his sites before another group of marines surrounded him. He glared at the group that was readying to pounce, and before they could attack him, Chopper stuck first. He quickly punched them in his kung-fu form before he heard Nami holler to him as she electrocuted a marine she was facing.

"You're right! I actually recognize some of these guys from when my group was trying to get to the Sunny. That must mean that these guys were weakened since we had battled them first."

"What do you mean? These guys aren't weak at all, they're actually pretty strong," Chopper said in confusion as he dodged a rather deadly right hook and countered with an uppercut to his opponent's chin before he turned to the next enemy.

"You know how these guys keep standing back up and how they get stronger, when they should be knocked out, right?" she asked hurriedly as she electrocuted another bunch of enemies. She continued before he could answer, "There is a certain amount of times these guys will come back up. That means that if they are getting knocked out faster, they must have been taken down several times before, and the only explanation as to who battled them first must have been either my group or Luffy."

"Oh! That makes sense!" Chopper whooped as he delivered a roundhouse kick to another marine who had thrown himself at him.

_'__It must be that man that's controlling these people… Zoro's father,'_ Chopper thought to himself as he dodged another attack and countered. _'That was… flabbergasting. My mind was completely blown away. They don't act like family. They act like mortal enemies. Zoro… I've never seen him like that. He was so full of… _abhorrence_ that it seemed as though he was a different person altogether…'  
_  
"Chopper! Look out!"

Chopper snapped out of his thoughts at the call of his name, but he was too late. Before he could dodge, he got tackled from behind. Chopper thrashed around and tried to knock his attacker off of him, but the man was too heavy. Chopper's eyes grew wide with terror as the marine pinned him down and crushed his wrists with so much force that they was just about to break. However, before he knew it, the marine on top of him vanished. Chopper scurried up and hurriedly glanced around until he locked eyes with Robin, who was smiling in relief. He smiled back at her before he punched a marine that was barreling towards him.

"Thanks, Robin!" the reindeer hollered as he knocked down two more marines, only to have them stand up again looking slightly more buff than before. He didn't wait for a response as he fought, since he knew he either wouldn't get one or that she'd probably just smile at him before she turned to face a new enemy.

Chopper kicked three more marines into unconsciousness before he glanced at his surroundings. Robin, Nami, Brook, Usopp, and Franky were all taking care of the super marines. With six people, including Chopper, fighting the 'weakened' marines, it was no surprise that they were more than halfway done with them. Luffy had been fighting Smoker and had only suffered from minor cuts due to Smoker's fancy new knife, though, if anything, Smoker looked more beaten up than Luffy did, so Chopper estimated that his captain would win their intense fight in about five to ten minutes. Then, Chopper looked over in Zoro's direction, but before he could see what was happening with his nakama, a marine blocked his view and lunged at him.

Chopper dodged before he got tackled to the ground again, and kneed the man in the face with so much force that Chopper was sure he'd at least broken the man's nose in several places. When the marine went down, Chopper looked down to inspect at his hooves.

They were covered in blood, and he felt somewhat bad that he, despite being a doctor, was severely injuring people, but he shook his head sharply. He stood with his head raised high as he glared at a different marine who'd started to barrel towards him.

_'What am I thinking?'_ he reprimanded himself as he swiftly, yet powerfully punched a marine before he could even ready his arm to launch his own fists. _'I became a monster for Luffy! I did it for him and for this crew! For everyone I care about! They're fighting hard out there! Luffy's fighting hard, Zoro's fighting hard, and they all are, the whole crew. Even Sanji - it must be terrifying and awful to hear all of this and not being able to do anything about it. I need to do my best!'  
_  
With renewed determination, Chopper performed kung-fu with renewed vigor, though, he made sure to not get too caught up in his own fight so that he could keep an eye for stray marines that may wander towards the infirmary. He had to protect his patient. Even if Zoro had told Luffy to do it, Chopper couldn't see a reason as to why he couldn't too.

Suddenly, Chopper's eye caught a marine wandering to the back of the ship. The doctor sprang to action. He quickly incapacitated his current opponent and hurried over to the stray marine. He got there in a matter of seconds. Then, after launching a right hook to the jaw, dodging skillfully, and giving him well-placed roundhouse kick to the back of the head, Chopper subdued the man.

With a huff, Chopper crossed his arms and looked around him. His arms slowly lowered as his face was filled with bewilderment. He was stunned. The fight… was practically over.

Everyone halted. The marines either were collapsed on the floor, trembling violently as they stood, or looked extremely lightheaded and dazed. It was as if they had all been freed from some curse or something.

Chopper looked at the strange marines in confusion, but then someone called his name in urgency, and that was never good, especially after a battle.

"Chopper!" the captain called with such desperation that it terrified him. Luffy scrambled up to where Chopper was, looking at him with wild panicked eyes as he panted. He gesticulated frantically while he pulled Chopper towards the deck.

"Chopper! He's hurt! He's hurt really bad! Save Zoro!" he cried as he scurried towards their green-haired nakama.

Chopper sprung into action. Within a second, he was by Zoro's side and pulling off his backpack to administer first aid, looking him over as he began to pull out what he needed.

Zoro was definitely in bad shape. It was extremely concerning.

He had multiple lacerations, all of them varying in depth. It was almost as if his whole torso was a torn up ribbon. His right leg had a large gash which was just millimeters away from severing a major artery in his leg. His left had many small slashes in them. Both of his arms look like they'd been used as pincushions. They both had stab wounds in them, so many that they littered his arms; some of them were deeper than others. Overall, Zoro was a bloodied mess, and he was seconds away from bleeding out and dying.

Chopper acted as quickly as he could. He pushed gauze onto each wound, wrapped bandages around what he could, and made sure there was enough pressure applied to each one, trying to get as much of the bleeding to stop.

Once that was done, Chopper quickly checked for a pulse to make sure he wasn't too late, and he didn't feel one.

He couldn't feel his pulse.

Chopper immediately began compressions. He ripped open Zoro's shirt, positioned his hooves over his chest where the tip of his sternum was located, and began to perform CPR. Chopper heard and felt some of Zoro's ribs crack and saw Luffy cringe, but Chopper just focused on the task at hand, determined to resuscitate his friend. However, after doing CPR for a short while, Zoro still wasn't breathing. Chopper stopped the compressions and dejectedly placed his hoofs over Zoro's wrist, hoping against hope that Zoro's pulse would miraculously reappear.

Then, when he was just about to give up and ask for the time to announce the time of death, he felt the faintest of heartbeats against his hoofs. Chopper sprang to life, went into his heavy point form, picked up the broken swordsman as carefully as he could, and rushed off into the infirmary. He failed to notice that everyone was following behind him until he reached the infirmary door. He glanced back at them, before he grunted.

"Brook, open the door, and Luffy: carefully carry Sanji out of here. Just take him to the boy's room!"

They nodded curtly, and as soon as Brook threw open the door, Luffy and Chopper charged right in.

"Wh-what's going on?! Is that Zoro?! Is he going to be okay?! What's going on?! What's wrong?!" Sanji yelled as he frantically glanced between the captain and the doctor, but he was ignored as Luffy picked him up gingerly, and Chopper quickly placed Zoro on the bed and began to prepare to patch Zoro up. However, Sanji wasn't going to leave quietly. He began to flail, trying his best to wriggle out of Luffy's grasp to get to Zoro. Luffy just ignored him as he stomped out the room, closed the door, told everyone to clean the deck and to do what they could to bring at least normalcy back on the ship, and walked the struggling chef to the boy's room.

Once he was there, he placed Sanji in his hammock, but Sanji was fed up. He just wanted to know if there was any possibility that Zoro would be okay in some way, shape, or form.

"Luffy," Sanji began with a trembling voice, practically begging him to show him some mercy, "what the fuck is going on? Is he going to be okay?"

Luffy stared at his chef for a moment, taking in his red, swollen, tortured blue eyes, the concern, fear, and sadness etched into his features. Luffy contemplated what he should say for a moment, before he decided that the truth was the best policy, but he couldn't keep his voice from quivering.

"I don't know."

: -:

Sparks flew as the cursed swords clashed into one another. The howling of their katana nearly drowned out the battles that were taking place all around them.

Their glares were filled with detestation for one another and made the temperature drop several degrees. The atmosphere that surrounded them was heavy, dark, and malicious. Zoro's countenance was hard. His eyes were clouded with killing intent. He was completely focused on his target. He looked like a pissed off jungle cat that was ready to tear into his prey violently.

While Zoro looked ferocious, Osamu looked like a maniac. His eyes were driven by hatred and madness. He had a crazed smile on his face, as if he were enjoying this fight to the death. He giggled maniacally from time to time, grating on Zoro's overwrought nerves. Zoro appeared to be unfazed as he masterfully blocked, dodged, and countered attacks. However, Osamu was throwing gallons of gasoline into the fire that was Zoro's anger, and he knew it.

"What's _this_, Zoro," he sneered as he parried one of Zoro's swords and countered with a jab that nicked one of Zoro's arms. "I thought you were supposed to be _exceptional?!_"

A few more jabs were impaled into Zoro's arms as his father screamed at him. Several of them were deeper than others, but they all made it somewhat difficult for Zoro to swing his arms, yet he didn't care. Zoro just narrowed his eyes a bit and ignored the pain and blood trickling down his arms as he swung his swords.

He'd managed to deliver several deep gashes into Osamu's arm that didn't wield his sword, but Osamu retaliated quickly and littered Zoro's left leg with small slashes, trash talking Zoro all the while.

"You're not good enough! You'll never be good enough! How were you _considered_ the best?! _How_?! You're nothing! You're _worthless_!" he bellowed as he swung at Zoro.

Zoro evaded his blade and swiftly stabbed, but Osamu blocked.

"Besides, my blade is stronger than yours, just like how I am stronger than you. _We_, Nidai and I, are better than _you_," he hissed with venom dripping from his voice.

Zoro was trying hard to ignore this man and focus on his goal to subdue him, but Zoro got careless. His concentration broke for a second when Osamu claimed that he was stronger than him, and he lashed out in pure ire.

Zoro played right into Osamu's hands. Osamu parried Zoro's swords, slashing upwards so that Zoro was wide open, and took advantage of Zoro's shock. He quickly slashed at Zoro's torso, tearing into it. He inflicted multiple lacerations before Zoro swung at him, making him jump away, but as soon as he had retreated, he lunged forward and gave Zoro a long deep gash in his right thigh.

Zoro's breathing became labored as he tenderly touched his shredded chest and put some weight on his newly injured leg. Blood gushed out of him, and pain exploded from each injury, but he just took the pain and glared daggers at the snickering man.

"See?! You're a third-rate swordsman! Nidai can overpower you and your three toothpicks, you fucking piece of trash!" he hollered as he threw his head back and laughed.

Zoro's vision went red with pure wrath. That was _Sanji's insult_. Only _Sanji_ can fucking call him a 'third-rate swordsman!' Not some goddamn shitty lunatic! Zoro was furious. His muscles tensed and his face contorted in ire. He tightened his grip on his katana so much so that his hands hurt. His teeth ground against Wado as his eyes narrowed dangerously. He was seething as his eyes reflected the flames of hell, and right when Zoro was about to throw himself at Osamu, he stopped himself.

Zoro's jaw clenched even tighter around Wado as he forced himself to calm down, to clear his raging thoughts and focus. He couldn't afford to do something stupid, not when his arms had taken so much damage… not when the stakes were this high, so he took a breath and planned his next move.

While Osamu was laughing, Zoro took the opportunity to attack. Zoro crouched low, lunged for Osamu, and launched an Onigiri. Osamu let out a startled grunt as he tried to block the attack, but he was too late. His torso had three large gashes as he stumbled backwards. He glowered at Zoro as he held his chest, but then, he did something Zoro didn't expect.

He started to… cry? Zoro was confused and let down his guard for a second, but then he braced himself again, cautious that this was a trap, but then his father spoke in a broken, quivering tone.

"Zoro, my son, look at what you've become: a man consumed by his hatred for his father. What have I become?" he asked with a harsh whisper. Zoro had barely heard him with the fighting that was erupting around them, but he couldn't believe his ears. Who was this man that was in front of him? Was this his father? Who the fuck _was_ this man? Was this the same man who had made his life _miserable_? Who did he think he was to be regretting what he'd done _now?_

Zoro was outraged. He burst with feelings of absolute hatred, resentment, and wrath. He was about to explode and slash at this man relentlessly, but was halted when he heard something he'd never imagined hearing.

"Zoro," Osamu whimpered with regret and melancholy riddling in his voice as he took a few tentative steps forward. Zoro tensed and was just about to lunge, but before he could, Osamu began to speak the words Zoro dreaded.

"Zoro, I know this won't mean anything, but just know that _they_ made me, and that I'm sor-" Osamu began as he extended a hand out to his son with eyes filled with regret and despair. However, before he could finish his hurried sentence, he slipped on the blood coating the deck. As he fell, Nidai Kitetsu cut his leg and blood poured out of the wound.

Zoro couldn't believe his eyes. He was absolutely stunned. The sinister gleam of the blade during the slip had almost made it seem as though it had wanted to kill him, but it was an accident… right?

Zoro honestly didn't know.

It looked so much like an accident, it felt like an accident, but something was telling Zoro that it wasn't, though before he could dwell on it, a blaring question was shoving all of his other thoughts out of his head.

'_Should I kill him?_'

Osamu was unconscious from the rapid blood loss, and Zoro felt compelled to finish the job. Zoro felt compelled to kill him.

Why wouldn't he? This man had taken everything away from him. This man had killed Kuina. He'd taken him away from the only other person who'd loved him. He tortured him physically and mentally. He'd tried to kill Zoro. He had killed Koshiro. He loathed Zoro. So after everything he'd done, why was Zoro hesitating to kill him? Was it because he'd been about to say sorry? Was it because he was his father?

Why?

He continued to hesitate for a moment, but then he steeled himself. Zoro's countenance turned from stunned and contemplative, to icy and calloused. He walked up and stopped in front of his opponent, and he slowly raised Sandai up to point it at his father's head. He held Sandai there for a second, almost relishing this moment. However, before he could impale his father's head with Sandai, he was stopped.

A hand reached out and grabbed Zoro's, preventing him from thrusting his sword downwards into the unconscious man's green head. Zoro lifted his cold glare to whoever had stopped him, and saw that it was Smoker.

Smoker's forehead seemed to have returned to normal, meaning that he was no longer a mindless slave, but that didn't mean that he wasn't Zoro's enemy. Zoro snarled at him and almost struck out, but Smoker spoke before Zoro could do anything.

"Don't do it, Roronoa. We won't attack you; not right now. We are taking him into custody. He went mad and made us all his minions, but… we were aware of everything that was happening. It was… awful," he explained with a gruff, haunted tone as Zoro lowered his katana. Zoro still stared at him in suspicion, but Smoker just sighed as he rubbed the back of his neck in exhaustion.

"Well," he huffed as he lifted Osamu from the ground, "we'll take our leave."

Zoro just grunted as Smoker turned around and shouted at his subordinates.

"Hey! Those of you who can stand! Grab whoever is unconscious and get off the ship! We're getting out of here!"

With that, the marines began to sluggishly gather themselves and leave. Soon after Smoker left Zoro, Luffy bounded over to the swordsman.

"Hey, Zoro!" Luffy called cheerfully, but he quickly saw that something was wrong with the green-haired man. He looked pale compared to his usual sun-tanned complexion, and was clearly dazed. Luffy's face fell in slight confusion as he began to ask Zoro a question.

"Zoro, what's-"

Suddenly Zoro fell over. His swords clattered to the floor as he dropped to his knees and collapsed.

"Zoro!" Luffy yelled as he kneeled next to him, soon finding out that Zoro wasn't sleeping like he'd hoped. He had passed out, and Luffy knew instantly that he was dying.

Luffy sprang into action and went to get Chopper as fast as he could, terrified that he'd lose one of his precious nakama.

: -:

"Sir, are you sure that we should just… leave them? I mean, you _could_ have killed Roronoa Zoro," one of Smoker's subordinates questioned as he carried one of his comrades on his back.

Smoker halted, then snarled as he shot a threatening glare to the nameless marine. His subordinate flinched at the stare, but held his gaze as Smoker huffed.

"Yeah, we'll leave them for now. They saved us from vice-admiral Osamu. Specifically, _Roronoa Zoro_ saved us, so this is the least we could do," Smoker deliberated while he began to walk to the camp. "Besides, when we meet them again, they'll be our enemies, so I don't really see why we can't just leave them."

With that, the marines continued to trudge to the camp, and when they arrived, Smoker called for a medic to take care of Osamu.  
When Osamu was carted away, he ordered that they'd leave this island to go back to a marine base. However, before the marines could leave the island, Osamu died. He had lost too much blood before the medical staff could do anything to save him.

Smoker sighed heavily at the news. He was _not_ looking forward to writing the report for what had happened on the island, though after several days, when the marines had just departed Clandestine Island, Smoker began the report anyways.

When he was almost done writing it, a thought occurred to him. He put down his pen, leaned back in his seat, and gazed out the porthole.

'_Should I send a message to the Strawhats? At least inform the son that his father is dead?_' Smoker thought as he puffed on his two cigars, though he chuckled as he exhaled the smoke trapped in his lungs. '_I bet he either wouldn't care, or that he'd read it in the paper, because once it gets out that Osamu is dead, that he'd been the creator of this horrid CP 8.5 program and that he'd been forcing marines to do his bidding with his powers, there would be a least some sort of uproar.'  
_  
Smoker grunted at the thought of a riot happening with this upsetting news as he continued to stare out the window. He thought about the different reactions to what had happened, but after about thirty minutes of staring out the window, going from scenario to scenario, he'd concluded that he should just finish his report and see what happened. With that, Smoker went back to finish the report, and waited until they reached an island the marine base so that he could hand in his report and dump the dead body rotting on his ship onto someone else.

: -:

"Sanji?"

The cook's head shot up as he heard a feminine voice call out his name. Robin walked into the room cautiously; worried that she'd wake him if he were asleep, but she soon noticed that he was watching her with wide anxious eyes. She smiled at him and stood next to his hammock where he laid. She was the first one to come in here ever since Luffy had dropped him off and Sanji was about to be sick with worry, literally. However, despite the questions that was trying to burst out of him, he waited for her to speak.

"Sanji, I know you're worried about him, we all are-" she began gently, trying to console him, but Sanji, for once, wasn't willing to listen to a lady, and actually cut her off with a gravelly voice filled with undying curiosity and concern.

"Robin, not right now, okay? Is he going to be okay? Is Chopper done with him? It's been hours since I was left here without anyone saying anything to me other than 'I don't know'. I _need_ to know if he has a chance. I need to know what's going on…" he ended with a hushed whisper. He saw Robin's expression change from a comforting smile, to a sad one.

She knew that Sanji loved Zoro, so she knew she'd better give him the news he didn't want to hear.

"Chopper just finished with him… and he'd said that he has done everything that he could and that now it's all up to Zoro," she informed sullenly as she stared into Sanji's saddened blue eye.

He looked as though he hadn't heard what Robin had said, but Robin knew better. His eyes were clouded with melancholy as he numbly nodded his head and pursed his lips though after about five minutes of heavy silence, Sanji looked up at Robin with set determination. This surprised her as he spoke with a firm tone.

"Take me to him."

Robin stared into his determined blue eye with a hard look of her own before her expression turned to a gloomy smile.

"You know… he's not going to be awake, right? Are you sure you want to go see him now? Besides, you can barely stand," she asked quietly, as if she were talking to an injured animal, but Sanji disregarded her tone and continued to speak with a stern voice.

"Yeah… yeah, I know… I … I just need to seem him, Robin. I know I can't stand, but can you help me get to him?"

Robin hummed as she nodded. "Of course I'll take you to him, if that's what you want me to do."

"Yeah," Sanji whispered as he offered her a gloomy tired smile of his own. "Please take me to him. I need to be there for him."

With that, she nodded once more, smiled at the blonde kindly, and stood. She helped Sanji sit up, and when he carefully placed his feet on the wooden floor, she told him to wait for a moment. He looked at her curiously as he said 'okay' and then she left.

He waited for about five minutes, and when she came back she had the wheelchair Chopper had put him in prior, and before he could protest to being put in the wheelchair, she smiled at him. However, the air around her turned malicious.

"Is there something wrong, Cook-san?" she asked in a monotonous manner, as if she were daring him to say something so that she could hit him. He just deflated, as he mumbled a 'no.'

"Good," she almost chirped as she crossed her arms. Sanji was just about to ask what she was going to do until it clicked in his mind. She used her power to help him from the hammock to the wheelchair. She made her arms sprout from the ground at his feet, and they reached up to grasp onto his biceps. Sanji let out a startled gasp as the arms pulled him upwards, making him stand, and then Robin made multiple hands sprout from the ground to guide him gently to the wheelchair, making sure that he didn't put too much weight on his own legs. They helped ease him down into the chair before they disappeared into flower petals. Sanji let out a small sigh of relief as Robin took the handles and began to push him towards the infirmary.

"Thank you, Robin," he murmured as he glanced over his shoulder with a slightly defeated countenance. Robin just smiled at him.  
"It is not a problem, Cook-san."

They fell into a slightly strained silence as they made their way to Zoro. They both knew that Sanji felt bad that he was asking Robin to do this for him, but they both also knew that Robin wouldn't mind and knew why he'd asked.

When they managed to get onto the deck, Chopper spotted them and jogged over, which was strange. He wasn't yelling hysterically, nor did he seem distressed. Sanji and Robin exchanged a discreet glance, silently wondering what was wrong with the little doctor until he finally stopped in front of them.

He stared at both of them with a blank expression. He stared at them for so long that Sanji began to feel uncomfortable.

"Are you," Chopper spoke up with child-like interest, causing Sanji to jump slightly with the spontaneous noise. Chopper surely saw him flinch, but he just continued to ask his question, "going to go see him?"

Sanji gazed at the little reindeer, keeping his expression blank, but as he continued to look at him, his countenance softened, taking on a melancholy gloomy tone as he answered.

"Yeah."

Chopper blinked at him for a moment, then stepped to the side.

"Okay, just know that he's unconscious. Make sure to use my chair, not that crappy wooden one, if you want to get out of that wheel chair. You're still injured. I'll come in later to check up on you guys."

Sanji's smile widened a bit as he gave Chopper a curt nod.

"Okay," he replied softly. "Thanks, Chopper."

"No problem, Sanji. Now go to him," he said kindly as he trotted off, surely to see what Luffy and Usopp were doing. They looked after him for a moment, kind of wondering what that was about as they shared another curious look, but then they shrugged it off and went on their way.

After a minute or two, they reached their destination. Sanji felt anxious as Robin opened the door, and when the door was finally open, Sanji braced himself mentally as he was pushed into the infirmary.

When they walked in, Robin pushed him to where Zoro was. He was lying on the bed Sanji had been in, and he almost cried right then and there.

Zoro looked dead. The only way he differed from a battered corpse was the slight rise and fall of his chest. He was as pale as the sheets that were covering him. At the very least, he appeared to be peaceful as he slept despite the dark circles under his eyes and the malnourished look to his skin.

Sanji took a shaky breath as he tried to keep himself together.

"Cook-san?" Robin called quietly as to not startle him, yet he still jumped, forgetting that she was still in the room. Once he was sure that his voice wouldn't break in he spoke, he answered.

"Yes?"

"I will… leave you be now. I am sure you can get yourself into Chopper's chair if you want to, so I will see you later," she said placidly as she left for the door. Sanji smiled at her retreating back, and he thanked her before she closed the door behind her with a quick nod of acknowledgement.

Once she left, his smile dropped immediately. His shoulders slackened and his eyes were consumed with sorrow as he looked back at Zoro. Sanji brought himself close to Zoro's bed so that he could reach out and touch the swordsman's cool skin. He flinched at how he felt a bit cool, but then he cupped his cheek with his hand. Sanji bit his lower lip as a tear trickled down his cheek.

"You shitty moss-ball," he whispered harshly as his breath became ragged. "Why did you go and let this be done to you? Why did you leave me lying here to go and get yourself hurt to this extent? Why did you get used as a pincushion and lose so much blood that you are just barely hanging on? Why?"

Sanji stroked Zoro's cheek with his thumb as he spoke, silently hoping that Zoro would wake up and tell him to shut the hell up and to stop crying so he could sleep peacefully, yet that didn't happen. Instead Sanji was just crying as he caressed his cheek.

"Zoro, you'd better wake up. I need to tell you… I need to tell you my feelings. So wake up you moss-ball," he muttered pathetically almost desperately as his tears refused to stop falling.

Then he managed to struggle out of the wheelchair to sit on the bed, and once he'd eased down without hurting himself or Zoro, he turned to face the man he loved. He studied his face for the thousandth time, taking in every detail: his chapped lips, sickly appearance, high cheekbones, fine dark green eyebrows, long eyelashes, and perfect nose.

After he was done taking in the details of his face, he leaned down, ignoring the pain coursing through his body, and kissed him on his forehead. Then he kissed him on his cheek, and then the other cheek.

Sanji pulled back to face him once again. Sanji's eyebrows were pulled together in melancholy and unease. He pursed his lips, his eyes red with tears that were falling onto Zoro's undisturbed face as he hovered over him. Sanji slowly and gently wiped the moisture from Zoro's face, and once he did, he cupped his cheek with his hand, and kissed his lips.

When he pulled away, he put his forehead against Zoro's and whispered to him, hoping that somehow Zoro could hear him.

"Wake up and come back to me, you lost moss-ball. I need you… I love you, Zoro."


	19. Chapter 19

**Hello! We've reached the end! I hope you enjoyed this facfic. A very special thank you goes out to my beta reader, HadenxCharm, who had helped to make this fanfiction as good as it could be. I don't even want to think about how this story would be without her help. So, thank you HadenxCharm. Thank you to my readers, followers, reviewers and those who favorited. All of you helped motivate me to finish, so I thank everyone from the bottom of my heart.**

**Disclaimor: I do not own One Piece or any of it's wonderful characters! All rights goes to there respective owners!**

**I do hope that you enjoy this last chapter!**

"Sanji? Are you sure it's okay for you to be walking around?" Franky asked as he pushed his sunglasses up to his forehead, pausing in his work to regard the chef passing him. Sanji was just about to light a cigarette when he stopped to address Franky.

"Yeah. I was cleared to walk around without help a little while ago. I was just checking up on the marimo before I realized that it was almost lunchtime. I should go make lunch before Luffy destroys half of the ship," Sanji mumbled as he lit his cigarette. Franky grumbled at the thought of their captain hurting his beautiful masterpiece and shooed Sanji away to the kitchen to prevent such a disaster from befalling them. When Sanji had finally closed the door to his precious kitchen, he locked the door, lit his cigarette, and exhaled a lungful of smoke. He leaned on the door until he willed his sapped legs to move so he could start preparing lunch. He hadn't bothered to turn on the lights.

He decided that sandwiches would be enough as he quickly finished off his cigarette and tiredly lit another one. As Sanji went to light his next cancer stick, he huffed, put down his lighter and tangled a hand in his already scruffy hair, yanking at the blonde strands as he turned and slid down the counter. When his ass hit the floorboards, he leaned on the cupboards with his knees at a bend. He rested his elbows on his knees as he tangled both hands in his hair and ground his teeth on the crushed filter of his unlit cigarette.

It had been a week after Zoro had first landed himself in that fucking infirmary bed and Sanji was getting agitated and… dispirited.

The marimo hadn't woken up yet. It took a lot of effort to try to act as though it didn't affect him.

Sanji was starting to fall apart. He couldn't take how powerless he felt when he watched the slight rise and fall of the man's chest when he visited him. He couldn't take how he still looked like a corpse; his usual healthy tanned skin still looked pale. He couldn't take that there was still the possibility that Zoro wouldn't make it.

Sanji threw his head back against the cupboard. Pain burst from where his head connected with the wood, but he ignored it as his thoughts consumed him. _'I can't think about that. Zoro… he'll make it. He won't die. If Mihawk's fatal attack didn't kill him, then he won't die from the little cuts that… Osamu… had inflicted! Fuck! I have to believe in him! What's wrong with me!? I have to believe that he'd make it, because he's the strongest, most stubborn, ambitious asshole that I've ever met! He is going to become the world's greatest swordsman! He's going to be fine! Ugh! I can't take this! I've been going back and forth this whole time! I've been getting all pessimistic, and then I scold myself for being miserable, saying that I should be as supportive as possible! It's driving me up the fucking wall! That moss-ball is driving me absolutely nuts and he's not even conscious! He better hurry up and wake the fuck up so then I could give him a piece of my mind! He can't just kiss me and then go off and get his ass kicked!'  
_  
As his thoughts progressed, he went from wretched, to determined, to irritated beyond belief. Then, just as he was about to get up and start cooking to relieve himself from his frustration, all of the energy he had felt escaped him. The energy that he had built up evaporated as he deflated and leaned back against the cupboards. He sighed. It had been a never-ending loop of emotions for the past week, and he wasn't dealing with it very well.

Irritation began to invade him again, and this time he pulled himself up and gradually started to make sandwiches. As he worked, his frustrations grew and the speed at which he threw the sandwiches together increased.

He was cross with his thoughts, with the situation, with Zoro for getting himself so hurt, with Osamu for coming back and hurting Zoro _again_, for being so useless while Zoro had fought and most of all, how helpless he felt while Zoro lay unresponsive in the infirmary. It was all driving Sanji mad in more ways than one.

He was so wrapped up in his thoughts and anger that he hadn't heard one of his beautiful flowers knocking on the door, calling for him.

"Sanji," a feminine voice called from behind the door, but there was no response from the blonde. "Sanji!" she called louder as she pounded on the door.

Before Sanji could even think about who was talking to him, he growled at whoever it was that disrupted his contemplations.

"What?!" he roared as he slammed a sandwich down onto a platter. He stomped to the door in long strides, and when he reached it, he unlocked it, swung it open, his countenance bursting with rage and agitation. Immediately, his blood froze when he saw Robin's wide eyes. His ire instantly evaporated as his body tingled with shock. He gawked down at his feet before he gaped up at her.

"R-robin… I… I'm… I apologize," he began numbly, not quite knowing what to do with himself. She regarded him with a reassuring smile, as if to say that she was okay and that wasn't upset.

"It is okay, Sanji-san. Here, sit down at the table while I prepare some coffee," she said gracefully as she motioned him to sit. When she saw him take a seat, she went off to make coffee, following all of the steps he had taught her for when she was on night watch and he wasn't present to make her a cup.

Sanji stayed silent as he stared at a spot on the kitchen table, appearing to be upset with himself as he bit his lip and folded his hands on the table. He stayed silent when Robin came back with the coffee, only giving a nod of acknowledgment and thanks as she placed a steaming cup in front of him. She gave him a small smile that he saw at the corner of his eye, but even with her smile, he stayed silent. He didn't mutter a single word of praise as he got swept up in his sad contemplations. She sighed softly before she blew on her beverage and took a sip. She smiled at him again, but this was the smile that she'd offered when she was serious.

"Sanji-san, I think we should talk."

: -:

"Oh no," he muttered under his breath as he watched Sanji shout at Robin.  
_  
'Sanji's worse off than I had thought… I wish I could help more… I wish I knew _how_ to help. Besides… we're their friends… We're supposed to be there and help, even when they don't ask for it…'  
_  
"Chopper…? Do you think he'll be okay?" Luffy asked solemnly as he stood behind him. They had been quietly fishing before they had seen _Sanji_ yell at _Robin_, a _lady_.

Chopper glanced behind him and answered as he walked towards the infirmary. "Yeah, Luffy, I think he'll be fine. I have to go. I just realized that I should check up on Zoro."

He didn't give Luffy time to respond as he walked out of earshot, and then into his office. Chopper sighed as he closed the door. His ear twitched at the slight breaths that he heard Zoro take. His breathing was steady, which was always a good sign. Chopper walked to his desk, picked up a clipboard that had a list of things to check the patient for, and soundlessly trotted over to Zoro. He quickly went over the list with practiced ease, barely glancing over it as he wrote down observations.

After a little while, Chopper confirmed that all of Zoro's vitals were satisfactory, but he still sighed sadly as he glanced at Zoro's leg. The large wound in his right leg had gotten infected several times over the past few days. Last night was the latest and most deadly he'd yet… Chopper took care of it every time, but these infections were a huge reason as to why the swordsman was not in the clear yet.

Chopper shuffled to his desk, hopped onto his comfy chair, and began to write in Zoro's file. He noted that the wound didn't seem as though it was presently infected. He also wrote that if Zoro woke up, he'd have to rest for about a week and undergo some physical therapy. Chopper had also determined he should screen Zoro for depression so that he could officially diagnose him, or at least determine that he was experiencing something else, _just_ in case - though, he was fairly certain that Zoro was clinically depressed.

Chopper sighed again and rubbed his forehead and then his temples as he closed the file and pushed it away tiredly.

_'It should be okay to give him the screening after a about a day or so if he wakes up. That would give me time to check up on him, but ultimately it would give him enough time to get over the side effects and the fuzzy feeling in his head from the pain-relievers. A day would give him enough time to have a clear head to take the test… Fuck. He had suffered a lot of damage fighting his father… He lost a lot of blood… I did everything that I could… particularly with those infections… Ultimately it's up to him if he wants to keep going, especially since he's suffered his worse infection last night. It was a close call, and Zoro's not in the clear yet. He's only been holding on due to his abnormal physical abilities. A normal man would have died from that last infection, but he's still hanging in there, though who knows if he'll keep holding on… With Sanji, it was less doubtful that he'd want to keep living… but Zoro… that's a gray area that I didn't want to ponder. That's a gray area that Sanji wouldn't want to think about either… but I know for a fact that we both can't stop thinking about it… That's why… That's why Sanji was such a wreck…'  
_  
"Zoro," Chopper sniveled, holding back tears as he turned to the unconscious swordsman. His ears were pointed downwards as heavy teardrops threatened to fall down his down-casted furry face.

"It's been a week since you've been hurt. While you've been out, the log pose had set and we've left the island. We're at sea now... Zoro, Sanji is… not dealing with this very well. He's really sad. He's sad that you're hurt. _We_ are sad that you're injured and you aren't waking up. Please, wake up soon. Come back to us, Zoro… We miss you."

: -:

Sanji stayed quiet for a bit longer before he responded in a quiet tone. "Talk about what, Robin-chan?"

Robin blinked at the unusually downhearted chef, she seemed to be analyzing him, and for once Sanji minded the attention from a lady. He didn't like feeling as though he were being scrutinized, as if his innermost thoughts and feelings were being inspected.

"About Zoro, of course," she said placidly as she pulled Sanji out of his thoughts. He glanced up at her before his eyes fell to his cooling cup of coffee. He unhurriedly took a sip of the perfectly executed coffee as he answered with a small satisfied smile, "Well, I should have expected that, no?"

"Indeed," she answered, even though she knew it was more of a statement than a question. "Sanji-kun, swordsman-san's incident is causing you a lot of despair. We are all upset, however you are taking it a lot harder than everyone else, and I just thought… that you may want to talk."

Sanji looked up at her from his lukewarm beverage and gave her a blank look, as if he hadn't heard her. Then he began to laugh.

"Oh no, Robin-chan," he released a chuckle that held no humor. He took another quick sip of coffee. His mouth suddenly felt dry. "I wouldn't want to burden a lovely lady such as yourself with my worries."

"Sanji-kun, I am your nakama, and I am worried about you. If talking helps, then please talk to me. I will listen. I will also tell you my thoughts if you would like." Robin had a very serious yet soft tone as she gave him a hard stare. He blinked at her before his eyes dropped to his cold coffee. Silence hung over them for a little while before he looked back up at his friend in slight defeat and told her what was plaguing him.

"Robin-chan… I know that he's going to wake up… I _know_ it! It's just that…! I… always have this tendril of doubt, and… and this back and forth is driving me _crazy_," he sighed as he tangled a hand into his hair and gave her a dejected smile.

"What's worse is," he continued as he dropped his gaze to the space between them. "He…"

Sanji stopped there as his smile dropped to a frown and his look became distant. Robin's eyes widened slightly as she leaned slightly forward in interest and prompted him to resume. "Yes?"

"He kissed me."

"He what?"

"He kissed me before he got himself all fucked up, Robin-chan…" His voice was monotone as he dropped his hand from his hair, lit a cigarette, shoved both of his hands in his pockets, and slumped in his chair. Robin sat up a bit straighter and her smile dropped, yet she felt no need to utter a word, knowing that Sanji still had unvoiced thoughts that were about to come out in the open.

"I was… so confused at first. I kept asking myself why he would do that. Then I figured out that it must've been because he has some sort of interest in me, but I don't know if he _loves_ me or anything like that. He just kissed me and left like a fucking knight going off to slay a dragon to protect the princess and the kingdom! That fucking idiot! He got himself so hurt…! I…! I didn't get a chance to tell him how I feel and I can't help but get infuriated, and then miserable, and then infuriated again! I keep going around in circles and it all pisses me off _and_ gets me down!" He spoke softly and in a lost tone at first, but as he continued, he began to speak faster and growled in irritation. He went to light another cigarette to calm himself down, and when he flicked the small flame of his lighter on, he noticed Robin looking at him with a curious and understanding glint in her eyes. He inhaled the soothing smoke, instantly sedating his fraying nerves as he became silent.

"So," Robin began in an even tone, putting her elbows on the table, and weaving her fingers together to place her chin on her fingers. "Would you like to hear what I think?"

"… Yeah," he said quietly as he exhaled the smoke within his lungs.

"Well, I think you have every right to be upset and saddened. I do not think that your reaction to all of this is strange. However, believe that you do not _have_ to be upset or saddened. Zoro will definitely wake up. He'll be fine."

Sanji gaped at her, his shoulders stiffened as mild shock enveloped him. "But, Robin-chan, I-"

"Sanji-kun, I am not finished."

"… Sorry." His shoulders slacked in apology as she took a moment to sip from her mug.

"Anyways, I say that he will be fine because he has to stay alive. He has a promise to a very special friend to keep. He'll become the greatest swordsman in the world. I am sure that we both have no doubts about that in our minds," she said in matter-of-fact manner. Sanji smiled softly at his cold coffee mug and nodded. A comfortable silence rested over them for several moments as they pictured Zoro becoming the best.

"Besides," she continued, seeing Sanji glance up at her as she shooed the cozy silence away. "I'm sure that somewhere in his mind he knows that his nakama – especially you and Luffy – would be very upset with him if he just gave up."

Sanji chuckled at his nakama's honest words as he put out his spent cigarette in a nearby ash tray. Sanji would be absolutely _livid_ if Zoro gave up on his dream. So much had been sacrificed, Zoro had gone so far, and he just couldn't _give up_. That wasn't an option. Sanji felt as though Kuina and Koshiro would despair if Zoro stopped pursuing his ambition. As this thought occurred to him, he felt the corners of his mouth twitch downwards as pain stung his heart. _'If they can't be there for Zoro to encourage him, to believe in him, to offer a shoulder to lean on, or an ear to listen to him… then I will. Koshiro, Kuina, I hope that it's okay for me to support him while you're not around.'  
_  
"Sanji-kun?"

"Hm?" he responded as he turned to look into Robin's curious eyes.

"Are you alright?" she asked in a worried tone as she scanned his face, looking for signs that indicated that something was wrong.

"Huh? Oh, um, yeah. I'm okay. I was just caught up in my own thoughts for a second. Why do you ask?" he questioned politely, fearing that he may have appeared strange.

"Oh, you suddenly looked sullen, and then determined, as if you were going out to battle," she informed placidly as she moved to pick up the two mugs. Sanji held up his hand to stop her and he silently swept up the cups. She slowly took her seat, watching him take long strides to the sink and begin washing the dishes.

"Sanji-kun."

"Yes?" he answered, taking a quick glance over his shoulder as he finished up washing the dishes.

"I think that you should tell him how you feel."

Sanji stiffened while he drying one of the two cups, but he recovered quickly from his initial surprise as he chucked and finished drying the cups. He didn't respond until he had put the two cups away and returned to his seat. The silence draped over them while Robin fixed him with a surprised countenance. Before she could ask him anything, he spoke in a soft tone, "Great minds think alike, y'know, Robin-chan. I'm set on telling him how I feel after he wakes up… but… I just don't know when, or how to bring it up. I really want to tell him. No. I need to tell him. Before the idiot decides to go get himself all fucked up again."

Robin gave him the softest smile he had ever seen from such an ominous woman, but instead of gawking and praising her on her beautifully benevolent countenance, he grinned back at her.

"You'll know what to say and when, I'm sure of it," she replied with confidence, rising from her seat. As she did so, she leaned forward to squeeze his shoulder to silently wish him good luck, and then she left without another word.

She leant on the wall next to the kitchen door, and after a few minutes of waiting, she heard a chair scratch against the floorboards. A few more minutes passed as Sanji shuffled through the kitchen, probably finishing lunch. Then she heard a door open and close. She smiled as she pushed herself off of the wall and walked towards the library.

"Sanji-kun," she murmured to herself. "We both know that you need to tell him because you dare to hope."

: -:

"I'm back, Moss-ball." Sanji announced as he entered the infirmary through the kitchen. He closed the door as silently as he could. He leaned against the door as his eyes rested upon the unconscious man's peaceful face, and then his gaze traveled to his chest. He watched him breathe steadily, rhythmically.

After Robin-chan had left the kitchen, he had thrown lunch together in a frenzy, leaving the platter of delectable sandwiches on the table for his nakama to find. He felt an unbearable urge to go and visit the swordsman again, so he hurried over to see him, but now that he was alone in the infirmary with the incapacitated marimo, he was at a loss of what to do. Not like he could actually _do_ anything.

Sanji sighed as he pushed himself off of the door. Lethargically, he grabbed the shitty wooden chair from a corner and placed it next to Zoro's bed. He soundlessly took a seat, his eyes never leaving the reassuring rise and fall of the marimo's chest. He itched for a cigarette to calm the persisting anxious thoughts swirling inside his head, but he resisted the impulse. He'd be in deep shit if Chopper smelt smoke in the infirmary. He chuckled softly at the image of Chopper scurrying around and waving his little arms about as he ranted and raved at Sanji as to why smoking and second-hand smoking is bad for him and everyone around him. When he had calmed, his eyes trailed up to Zoro's sleeping face. He took in the man's features even though he had already etched this image of Zoro like this in his mind over the past several days.

Sanji chewed on his bottom lip as he moved to caress Zoro's sunken pale cheek. He brushed his thumb over Zoro's high cheekbones, feeling how cold he was. The corners of Sanji's mouth pulled down into a frown as he moved to brush the tips of his fingers over his chapped lips. An ache settled in his heart for the one-hundredth time since Zoro had landed himself in the infirmary.

_'I know that what Robin-chan said was true, and I don't feel as shitty or pissed as I was before, but…'_ he thought as he gazed at the dark circles around Zoro's closed eyes and saw how thin the he had gotten. _'I can't just get over this aching in my chest. It hurts… seeing him like this, knowing that he's suffering, but not being able to help. Or not knowing how to help without doing more damage…'  
_  
Sanji sighed once again as he withdrew his hand from Zoro's face to place it over Zoro's hand.

"Listen up, you shitty marimo," Sanji huffed tiredly as he slid his fingers between Zoro's, tenderly squeezing the back of his hand before he continued.

"I don't know what's going on in that shitty mossy brain of yours, and frankly I don't think I want to know… but Zoro," he growled in a firm tone and a determined countenance, "I _know_ for a fact that you'll wake up. I've been reassured by our wisest nakama. I believe in you, you shitty swordsman. If you give up, I… I won't forgive you. You hear? I won't forgive you, you fucking bastard. Besides… you'll make Koshiro, Kuina, and our nakama sad, and we both don't want that… so stop getting fucking lost in there and come home." His raspy voice was just above a whisper as he squeezed the once tanned hand harder and directed a pained scowl at him. When he saw that Zoro wasn't going to wake up soon, he relaxed dejectedly. He was actually disappointed that the moss-head hadn't awoken with his monologue. _'I'm so fucking stupid… God, what's wrong with me?'  
_  
Sanji chuckled sullenly to himself as he released his hold on his hand with one final squeeze. He rose from his seat and quickly pecked Zoro's forehead before he put that god-awful chair back where he'd found it.

"Why would I think for even a second that he'd just wake up after my little speech? That was so stupid… well… no point in dwelling on it. I'd better go back to the kitchen to start on dinner. I'll just come back when I'm done… I've been doing that for the past week now anyways," he mumbled as he trudged to the door separating the kitchen and the infirmary. When he was about to turn the doorknob, he stopped to glance over his shoulder, taking one more look at the swordsman before sighing again and walking through the door.

After he had thrown together a quick but mouthwatering supper, he ate his portion in contemplative silence before he called everyone to dinner in a relatively placid tone, even when addressing the ladies. He had much on his mind, wondering what to do and say when the swordsman woke up as he went to the infirmary and waited by his side. Sanji had only ever left Zoro's side when he either had to use the restroom, cook, or get sustenance, but his mind never left.

When he took a seat next to Zoro's bed once again, he huffed and crossed his arms; silently waiting for sleeping beauty to fucking wake up.

: -:

"Huh?" Sanji yawned as he sat up to stretch. He instantly flinched when pain stabbed at his lower back.

"Aw fucking hell," he groaned as he snarled, realizing he was sitting in Chopper's shitty wooden chair. He cast a quick glance at his surroundings. He found himself in the infirmary, and he groaned again. He stood up, wincing at the ache that had settled in his neck and lower back. He grabbed the back of the wooden chair and roughly shoved it into its corner, irritated at the nagging pain he had woken up to.

"Fuck, I fell asleep in here again. My fucking neck and back are killing me! I need to stop fucking falling asleep in this shitty chair! I fucking hate this goddamn chair! Why doesn't it have a cushion or something!?"

"Ugh, would you quiet down and stop bitching at a chair, Shit-cook?"

"Hey! Shut up, you stupid mari-!"

Sanji froze as his brain and heart stuttered to a stop. He held his breath as he slowly turned to the direction of the infirmary bed. His wide blue eyes met with the tired green one that made his heart soar and stomach flutter.

"Z-zoro," Sanji called weakly as his feet stuck to the floorboards. He was dumbfounded as he gaped at the conscious swordsman that stared at him with a placid expression.

"Hm?" Zoro hummed, blinking up at him. Before he knew it, Sanji was kneeling down next to him and began to frantically ask him questions. Neither of them could figure out if Sanji had sounded concerned or angry, but they both knew that he had been worried out of his curly mind.

"How are you feeling? Are you okay? Do your arms hurt? Do your legs hurt? Are you in any pain? You shitty moss-ball, why did you go get yourself hurt like this?! Do you know how long you were out?! I've been practically driven mad just thinking about what happened! What do you think the others felt?!" Sanji began in a hushed tone, but it grew harsher as his volume increase. He looked worried; he even looked hurt as he questioned him.

Zoro just stared wide-eyed at him. He had obviously not expected Sanji to bombard him with questions, but Sanji didn't care, peering into his eyes and searching for answers. Instead of some sort of taunt, like Sanji had expected after he'd realized that he had just had an embarrassing outburst, Zoro broke eye contact. He seemed to be ashamed.

"Um, Sanji," he began quietly hesitantly as he avoided Sanji's gaze. Sanji's eyes widened a bit before they narrowed. Zoro sounded defeated, and it chipped away at Sanji's heart.

"Yeah?" he answered softly. He was tempted to grab Zoro's hand to offer some sort of comfort, but he restrained himself, in case that made Zoro upset in some way.

"I…uh, I understand if you're mad at me, and… I-I understand if you hate me for what I did… I'm… sorry," he mumbled as his mouth twisted into a frown. He grimaced, curling his hand into a weak fist. He seemed to have regretted either kissing Sanji, or getting his ass handed to him. Sanji guessed that it might have been the former as his expression relaxed and the tension in his shoulders faded.

"Zoro," he murmured in a tired but a morose, almost desperate, manner. Zoro tensed at the sad way Sanji had called his name, but he slowly trailed his eyes to look into Sanji's. His breath caught in his throat as he stared into deep blue eyes that expressed sadness, relief, irritation, and joy all at once. Zoro had no clue how the passionate chef could manage to express so much with just a single gaze. At first Zoro was puzzled with why the other was experiencing such emotions, yet his thoughts had fallen away as he listened to Sanji's hushed words that were spoke with so much… sincerity… that he couldn't help but hang onto and believe every word that fell from such perfect lips.

"I… I was mad, I am upset, but that is only because you left me, just to get all fucked up. You were out for a fucking week, Zoro. You've had infection after infection after infection, and you were so _close_ to death. I couldn't help but get upset… but I don't hate you, Moss-ball. I don't think I can." Sanji watched Zoro's grimace slowly fall away, leaving him a bit confused as his chapped lips parted slightly, his thin eyebrows pulled together, and his eyes narrowed in uncertainty.

He appeared to be questioning whether what Sanji was saying was true, but as soon as this confusion had come, it was gone. His features quickly relaxed as he stared back at Sanji.

There was a certain tension in the otherwise gentle innocent gaze that made Sanji's heart pound and butterflies burst, but he held himself back from surging forward to capture the chapped, tempting, perfectly-shaped lips in front of him. Instead, he asked a question with a surprisingly low and calm tone, "How are you feeling?"

Zoro blinked at him for a moment, realizing that the blonde was actually speaking to him again. "Um, I'm feeling a bit groggy, actually. My head's all fuzzy, but I'm sure it's all just the painkillers. I'll be… okay."

Sanji wasn't sure why Zoro paused before he said 'okay,' it was almost as if he were correcting himself in his head, but Sanji just shrugged it off as he stood. Zoro's eyes followed his movements as he stretched to ease the pain he had woken up with. They bore into him as they tried to memorize the way Sanji moved, and Sanji saw desire in them. Sanji suppressed a shiver that threatened to run up his spine under Zoro's gaze, and he fought a blush from occurring.

Sanji turned to avoid his stare as he spoke in a casual tone while straightening his suit, "I'm gonna' go get Chopper."

Before Zoro could say anything, Sanji hurried out of the infirmary. He hurried so Zoro could quickly get checked so that he could talk to him. The sooner he could get checked… the sooner Zoro would know that their feelings were probably mutual, and hopefully they'd be happy.

: -:

"Chopper!" Sanji hollered once his foot landed on the lush grass of the deck, cupping a hand around his mouth to amplify his voice. It was about time that everyone should be awake, so Sanji hoped that the doctor would hear him. Chopper had immediately appeared before him, his chest heaving from running as fast as his little legs could carry him.

"What?! What's wrong?! Is it about Zoro?! Does he have another infection?!"

"No," Sanji chuckled under his breath as he lit himself a cigarette. He saw that the rest of his nakama had run over to him, wondering what was going on. He jabbed a thumb over his shoulder in the direction of the infirmary. "The moss-head's awake. He's awake."

Chopper's eyes nearly popped out of his head, and by the time this joyous piece of news registered in his nakama's head, Chopper was already in the infirmary as they all whooped in relief. Luffy was the first to start running to the infirmary, with everyone else jogging after him, but Sanji walked. He took his time as he heard his nakama barge into the room. He heard soft cries, loud cheers, and scolding. By the time he reached the door, he smiled as he watched the doctor kick everyone out so he could take care of his patient. Large smiles were seen all around as everyone waited for the captain to say the words they knew he would say.

"We'll have a party to celebrate Zoro waking up!"

"Yeah!"

"Oh," Luffy breathed as he realized something. All heads turned to him, questioning the sudden change in the energetic captain, until he looked at Sanji with a wide grin. "And to Sanji's recoveries!"

"Yeah!"

It was decided that they'd celebrate the wonderful recoveries of their nakama after Zoro was cleared from the infirmary, so that everyone could enjoy the party as much as possible.

: -:

While Sanji had finished fixing breakfast and then lunch, Chopper had finished up evaluating Zoro. He had concluded that his vitals were good and that what he had observed prior was accurate. The only thing was that Zoro's body was clearing up the drugs' effects a lot faster than he had thought, and after approximately three hours after he had awoken, he was coherent enough to be screened.

Chopper asked if it was okay if he was the one to ask Zoro about his symptoms and other standardized questions, just to be _certain_. Chopper didn't pressure him; he simply asked and waited for a response. He made sure to reassure him that he was sworn to never give any personal information about a patient, as a respectable doctor.

Zoro had seemed very reluctant, but he'd consented. He'd wanted to know what was wrong with him for a while, and he wasn't going to just pass up the opportunity now.

Chopper offered to have Sanji do the screening, but Zoro said it was fine if Chopper did it since Chopper was going to know if he had it or not anyways. So, Chopper screened Zoro, and with what Zoro had to say, it was apparent as to what the results were. Zoro smiled sadly at him as Chopper told him what he already assumed. He asked Chopper why he'd screened him if they both already guessed the results. Chopper had said that it was to officially diagnose him first-hand: he had gotten his information from a secondary source, never hearing it from the person himself, and these specific questions weren't actually asked. Chopper had figured things by following a trail of breadcrumbs, but relying on that wasn't something he thought he should do. This was the best way to actually know, and Chopper had thanked him for answering honestly.

Zoro just hummed as he heard Chopper's answer and word of thanks. Chopper had assumed Zoro was displeased, but once Zoro saw his sullen brown eyes, he called the little doctor over gently. When Chopper was next to his bed, Zoro tenderly scooped him up and lightly hugged the fuzzy reindeer, mindful of his still aching wounds. He thanked Chopper for his concern, and even though his voice was saturated with poorly hidden sadness, Chopper gave him a small smile and hugged him back.

When the hug was over, Chopper slowly slid from the bed, clopped to his desk, hopped onto the comfy chair, and swiveled the chair to begin his paperwork. When a cozy, slightly tense, melancholy silence hung over them, Chopper broke it within minutes with a soft mumble that Zoro had to strain to hear.

"You don't have to thank me, Zoro. It's my pleasure to help. You're my nakama, and I'll help even when you don't ask for it. Just know that I feel no pity for you. I just want to help a precious friend I can't bear to see suffer when I know I can offer my support. The only thing that would prevent me from doing so, Zoro, is the possibility of you not wanting my help. If you do not want my help, I have no other choice but to respect that… no matter how that makes me, or anyone else, feel."

: -:

Sanji went back to the kitchen to make nutritious potato soup for Chopper and Zoro since they had missed breakfast. Through trial and error, he knew it was one of Zoro's favorite soups. He hadn't even realized he was trying to figure out his favorite soup until he had already found it, but Sanji stupidly dismissed it as simply wanting to show the swordsman that he was a good chef. He'd convinced himself it was to get a win over Zoro; it was all so dumb. Sanji scoffed at himself as he scooped out the soup into two bowls.

He turned to the door connecting the infirmary and kitchen, but before he could walk over to it, it opened. Chopper padded in the room and almost walked into Sanji before he'd realized the chef was in the room.

"Oh! Sanji!" he squealed as he jumped backwards. Sanji smiled at him before he gestured for the reindeer to sit. As soon as Chopper had taken a seat at the table, Sanji placed his portion of soup in front of him. The little doctor glanced up at him before he lethargically and quietly began to sip at his meal. Sanji watched the doctor eat morosely before he sighed, placed a plate over Zoro's portion, set it on the counter, and started to work on dinner. A tense quiet loomed over them, the clattering of pots and pans being the only things heard, before Sanji began to swiftly chop away at ingredients.

When Sanji was almost done with the elaborate dinner that he had planned, Chopper finished his meal and put his dish in the sink, and then he just stood there. Sanji glanced away at the sea king steak that he was pan searing, opening his mouth to ask what was wrong, concealing his panic behind a well-forged mask of feigned boredom. However, Chopper spoke first.

"He's… fine. He just went to sleep. You could visit him though. He's back on pain relievers, but these are different since he's more or less in the clear, so when he wakes up, he won't feel fuzzy. You'll be able to have a good sober conversation the next time he wakes up… Sanji… I'd also screened him but-"

"Chopper," the chef interrupted as he switched off the stove with a sharp click. Chopper's ears flinched at the sudden noise, and Sanji almost apologized for being abrupt, but he just continued to plate the food and arrange the crockery on the table. His voice was even, but the look in his eye was a bit distant, making Chopper redirect his eyes to the floor.

"It's okay, Chopper. You don't have to report to me about his condition. He'll tell me if he wants me to know. Even though, I'm sure I already know…"

"Oh," Chopper exhaled as he saw Sanji finish setting the table and look at him curiously. "I was just about to tell you that I can't tell you about what he said to me, and that I don't think it's a good idea if I told you the results…"

"Oh, well then, I guess we're on the same page." Sanji smiled as he untied his apron and patted Chopper on the head. The little doctor looked up at him with big eyes before he offered the chef a small smile.

"Hey, Chopper, I'm sure you could eat more, so go sit at the table while I call everyone else," he said as if he were talking to a child as he moved to the door.  
He called everyone for dinner, and when he saw the others come, he nodded to Chopper who had smiled at him. Then he walked through the door and entered the dark infirmary.

Sanji found himself sighing as he closed the door. His hand rested on the doorknob for a moment before he sluggishly moved the shitty chair next to Zoro's bed once again. It was almost mechanical at this point: closing the door, sighing, moving the chair, sitting next to his bed, watching him breathe, memorizing his image again, and eventually falling asleep. It was the same thing over and over, it seemed routine, and it made Sanji feel dull and monotonous.

He trudged over to Zoro and dropped into the shitty chair, and before he knew it, he fell asleep. The last thought that had sent him spiraling off into a restless sleep was the unsettling question that he'd been trying to shove out of his head for a whole week: _'What if I'd lost him?'_

: -:

"Sanji!"

Sanji's eyes flew open as he shot up. His neck and lower back complained of pain as he straightened. He winced. He quickly glanced at his surroundings. It was still dark, but once his eyes adjusted to the lack of lighting, he saw that he was in the infirmary once again, but this time Zoro was awake, who was looking at him with clear concern.

"Zoro?" Sanji questioned as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and yawned. "What the-? What's wrong?"

"You looked like you were having a nightmare, so… I woke you up," Zoro explained as his countenance changed from worried to uncertain. He seemed as though he was unsure that it was a good idea to wake Sanji as he avoided eye contact.

Sanji didn't know what he'd been dreaming about, but he was grateful that Zoro had woken him up, so he smiled warmly at him, even though he knew that Zoro wasn't looking at him at the moment.

"Thanks," Sanji mumbled as he scratched the back of his head. Zoro reluctantly looked up at him from where he lay, and he saw warmth in Sanji's face. Zoro gaped at him. Sanji's smile widened, thinking that Zoro looked really cute, but he quickly put that thought to the side as he spontaneously grabbed Zoro's hand. Zoro's uncertainty evaporated, leaving his face blank with the exception of a questioning gaze directed at Sanji. Sanji took a breath before he fixed Zoro with a determined stare.

"Look, Zoro. I have to tell you something."

"W-what is it?" he asked, trying to sound tough, but he came across as curious rather than harsh. Sanji held his gaze for as long as he could as he tried to force the words out, but it was as if something had dammed his throat, preventing him from speaking. He opened his mouth and closed it several times, looking like the fish in the aquarium that were just waiting to be eaten. Eventually he couldn't keep eye contact any longer. He grit his teeth and looked away, glaring at his shoes.

He saw Zoro shift.

'_He's probably worried about me. I'm so fucking pathetic… This is what I've decided! I'm gonna' follow through!'  
_  
"Sanji? Are you okay? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"No!" Sanji practically shouted as he snapped his head up, slight panic evident in his eyes. He'd sounded desperate, and Zoro blinked at him in surprise. Sanji gasped in realization at how pathetic he'd sounded, and he ridiculed himself.

_'Shit! Why is this so fucking hard all of a sudden?! Ugh! Getting frustrated now isn't helping! Calm down! Calm the fuck down!'  
_  
Sanji took several breaths to compose himself, and Zoro allowed him time he needed to do so. When Sanji had regained his cool, he tried again. He looked into Zoro's eyes and squeezed his hand.

"Okay, look. This is kind of hard for me. I'm not really sure why. I guess it's because I've… denied it for so long before I finally faced myself and realized something I should have realized a long time ago…" He had begun in a level tone, but as he continued, his volume diminished to a mere murmur, yet he managed to hold his ground as he spoke heavy words as if they were as light as a feather. "Zoro, I… I love you."

Once the words left his lips, he felt as though a weight that had settled in his chest had lifted. Sanji allowed a small grin to bless his face until he'd realized how silent it was. He felt a cold tense silence fill the atmosphere, and the butterflies in his stomach froze and caused his heart to plummet under their added weight. Zoro hadn't said a word and he looked at Sanji like a deer in the headlights. He looked panicked. He almost looked sick as he averted his wide green eyes. Sanji's heart felt like lead, and he swore that gravity intensified when he felt Zoro's hand retract.

"Z-zoro…?" His voice sounded so small. He felt miniscule. He felt his chest begin to cave in on itself. _'Wh-what's going on? I thought… he felt something for me?'  
_  
"Sanji… You… love me? You can't…" Zoro's voice sounded distant even shocked, as it trembled ever so slightly. Zoro shook his head in disbelief. Sanji hung his head, unable to look at how bewildered the man was about his feelings.

"I can't what?" Sanji asked hollowly. He didn't have the energy to get upset; he just felt void.

"You… can't love me… You _can't_." Zoro's soft trembling whisper grew into a stern even manner. He firmly believed what he was saying, and it chipped away at Sanji. "You're _straight_. You are as _straight_ as a fucking arrow, Sanji. You love women. You fawn over Nami and Robin all of the damn time, even though I know you like Nami more. You _can't_ love _me,_ because I'm a _man_. You _can't_ love _me_, because you're not gay, and even _if_ you're bisexual, you wouldn't, you _shouldn't_ love _me_…"

Sanji's heart was just about to shatter until something sounded odd to him. He furrowed his eyebrows, and he slowly looked up to see something he had not expected.

He saw Zoro blinking back tears as he shook his head. Zoro had a hand tangled in his hair and it almost seemed painful with how hard he pulled at the mossy hair. Without thinking, Sanji reached up, untangled the hand from his hair and he held it. Zoro flinched at the touch, and he returned his watery confused gaze to him. Zoro looked into calm, wounded, questioning blue eyes, and a tear fell. Sanji wiped it away, and when Zoro tried to look away, Sanji grabbed his chin and redirected his gaze to him.

"Zoro, why wouldn't - or shouldn't - I love you? Why do you say these things…?" he asked, just above a whisper. The hurt was apparent in his tone, but Sanji tried his best to conceal it. It pained him to hear the moss-ball say these things in such certainty, but still sounding… lost.

"Because, it's true."

"Zoro-"

"Besides, why would you love someone like _me_?" Zoro chuckled bitterly as he smiled forlornly, refusing to look Sanji in the eye by looking off to the side. "I'm a depressed good-for-nothing. I'm a drunkard. I'm a lazy ass. I'm useless. I'm only here because I'm one of the main fighters. I-"

"Shut up," Sanji hissed. Zoro's words caught in his throat as Sanji's tone practically dripped with poison. He dumbly looked into those furious oceanic eyes that he helplessly fell for.

"But-"

"No, Zoro! Just stop while you're ahead!" he shouted with so much passion that he even surprised himself, but he continued as his grip on the man tightened. "You're none of those things! You're the man I fell in love with! You're a _brilliant_ man, Zoro! You work feverishly for your ambition! You can't be 'useless!' Besides, you're here to fight for a promise that got you this fucking far, shit-head! You're here, not only because we _need_ you, but because of Kuina and Koshiro – and because of _you_, Zoro! No one got through everything it took you to get here but _you_. That's not useless, that's amazing! Zoro, you're going to be the best swordsman in the goddamn world! The only one that looks down on you so much is your own damn self! Zoro…! I fucking love you, you damn bastard… And why do I have to be straight, huh?! I'm obviously _not_ fucking straight since I fell for you!"

Stunned silence invaded the room as Zoro just stared dumbly at the puffing blonde. _'But,'_ Zoro thought numbly to himself, _'but he's not supposed to love me… right? Is this some sick joke…? Or… can I actually _hope_? He… loves _me_? I want him so badly…'  
_  
"Look, Zoro," Sanji breathed as he lessened his bruising grip. Sanji almost appeared defeated. The blonde lowered his head and looked off to the side to glare at the floor as he explained himself in a despairing murmur. "I'm… I'm sorry for being so goddamn stupid and hopeless. I'm sure I've caused you a lot of pain by being an asshole… Frankly, I was just in denial. I've always had feelings for you, and my feelings had grown so much that I couldn't ignore them anymore. I'd faced the music and accepted them… but I decided to not tell you – at first. I convinced myself that you would never feel the same. But… but then you kissed me… and I thought… that you had some interest in me… and I… I decided to confess. Zoro, I want you to know that this is not out of some shitty pity… I would never do that… I-I just… want to know if you feel the same, or if I should just fuck off. Don't tell me that I can't love you, because I _do_, and you'll have to trust me on that since I have no idea how to get you to believe me… Please, Zoro, just… just tell me the truth."

What answered him was a deafening silence that tore at Sanji. Each moment that passed made Sanji's chest grow tighter and tighter; it made Sanji's heart falter more and more, but little did he know that Zoro was struggling with himself.

Zoro's mind was reeling. He was swamped with so many emotions that he could barely think. He was elated. He was so happy that he almost got lightheaded. His heart _pounded_ in his chest so hard that he swore the thudding bruised some of his ribs, but he was also terrified. He was panicking. He was confused. He was thinking that Sanji deserved better than a bastard like himself; that it was impossible for him to love him; that Zoro had to be dreaming right now; that he needed the blonde like how he needed to breathe.

His stomach flip-flopped and plummeted. His blood froze and rushed everywhere but his head, all at the same time. He was so scared that this was all just a cruel joke and that the next time he woke up, he'd find that it had been a dream, or Sanji would turn around and say that he was kidding and that Zoro was stupid for believing such an obvious lie. He wanted every word to be true so badly that it _ached_, more than any wound he has ever had hurt before. He hadn't even noticed that he was so overwhelmed that he started to cry until he felt Sanji wipe his tears away.

After he'd listened to Sanji scold him, he felt awful and numb with bewilderment. He felt his chest tighten when he realized that he'd voiced his true thoughts, and that he'd made Sanji comfort him, despite how roughly Sanji had done it. He was absolutely stunned at every word that the chef spoke. All he could do was stare as he listened to Sanji's apology, explanation, and plea. His mind was drawing a blank, while his heart raced at a reckless pace. Then, something clicked through all of his muddled thoughts and feelings. It felt like he was hit with a ton of brick with how sudden the clarity had come… but he'd realized that he had known this for a while. _'Sanji… has never lied to me. He's shown that I could rely on him more than once. So… why am I doubting him so much?'_

Apparently the silence had persisted for too long, because as soon as Zoro was about to speak, Sanji sighed and got up from his chair. Refusing to look at Zoro, Sanji shoved his hands into his pockets. Zoro could see the pain in his scowl before he turned towards the door. Zoro was puzzled, wondering what he was doing, but then the blonde mumbled in a tired manner. Zoro felt his stomach fall even further than it ever had before.

"I'll just leave for now. I'll wait for your response, so think about it carefully. Good night, Zoro."

He had a certain finality and loss in his voice that almost paralyzed Zoro in sheer terror and desperation. It almost sounded like Sanji had given up. Even though Sanji said he'd wait, and Zoro knew that he was a man of his word, he felt as though if he didn't say something now, then his chance to have anything more than friendship with the blonde would be tarnished. He didn't know why he felt this way. He knew it was unreasonable… that he shouldn't respond if he felt pressured in any way… but when he thought about feeling pressured, he realized that the tightness in his chest wasn't the pressure of responding to a confession. He felt the pure need to tell Sanji how he felt. This need practically choked him, almost preventing him from stopping Sanji from leaving, almost making him miss the chance that he'd never thought that he would ever be blessed to have. By this time, however, Sanji already had a foot out the door.

"Wait!" Zoro hollered, desperate to stop the man he loved from closing the door. Without thinking, Zoro threw off the covers, swung his legs over the edge of the bed and stood. He took about one step before searing pain burst from both of his legs. Zoro cursed as he stumbled forward and fell. He braced himself for impact, but instead of meeting with the floor, he fell into something that was a bit softer.

Zoro opened his eyes that he hadn't realized that he had closed, and looked up into worried cobalt eyes. They stared at each other for a moment before Sanji clicked his tongue at the dazed swordsman and lifted him off the ground. Zoro barked an 'Oi!' before Sanji was gently set him back onto the bed and arranged the pillows in a way that allowed him sit up. Zoro didn't know what to do other than dumbly stare at the blonde as he inspected Zoro's wounds. He was actually shocked that the other man could lift him; Sanji had more upper body strength than he'd thought, and it made his stomach flip excitedly. All the while Sanji made a conscious effort to not let his mind stray from the task at hand.

"Your right leg is bleeding, but not too much. Must hurt like bitch though. I'll go get Chopper-"

"No!" Zoro gasped at him, eyes wide with panic as his hands curled into fists, desperately wanting Sanji to stay. "No, wait, please."

He blinked at him before he nodded slightly and knelt by the bed, waiting for Zoro to explain as to why he wants him to stay. Zoro took a deep breath, calming himself before he looked into Sanji's eyes with the same steely determination that he was well known for. _'Sanji asked for the truth… so I'll tell him.'_  
"Sanji, I-"

"Look, Zoro, You don't have to force yourself to say anything. I didn't want to pressure you-"

"Shut up," the green-haired man growled, glaring at the other. Sanji's eyes widened for a fraction of a second before his features relaxed and he stayed quiet.

"I'm not forcing myself, and I don't feel pressured. So just shut up and listen," he snarled, though he didn't sound threatening. He was just emphasizing very important points that he wanted to make sure the curly idiot knew. When he made himself clear, he dropped his scowl, and regarded Sanji with a melancholy smile. His voice sounded a bit rough due to the throbbing in both of his legs, but he grit his teeth and spoke the words he needed to say, for himself and Sanji.

"I'm just… overwhelmed, honestly. Do you know how _long_ I've wanted to hear those words from you, Sanji?"

The cook's countenance was consumed with shock. His heart skipped a beat. He was speechless as his whole body tingled pleasantly from the surprise. Zoro took his silence as a chance to continue evenly.

"I've… I've had feelings for you for a long time, Sanji. You're always in my thoughts no matter how much I want you there or not. I've wanted you for so long, and for so long I've seen you frolic around, chasing women. I was sure you would _never_ even glance in my direction. The whispers I've told you about told me what I was really thinking, and they told me you'd never come to love me. I believed them… but then, when I heard you say those words I've dreamt of hearing… I thought it was too good to be true… I still think it's too good to be true" Zoro's confident level voice dwindled down to a whisper. He bit his lip as his heart burst with nerves. He was still scared and tense, his brain was screaming at him this was a bad idea that it could only end tragically, yet he was so overcome with the need to tell him that he swallowed the lump in his throat, grabbed Sanji's hand, intertwined their fingers, and squeezed.

Sanji jumped at the action, but he stayed quiet. Sanji's crushed heart was reassembling itself; the rejection and miserable feelings had evaporated, and he clamped his mouth shut to keep questions from bursting fourth.

"… Sorry for doubting you, Cook. I just… I've never thought you'd feel the same. I convinced myself and fed myself all of these excuses as to why you couldn't… I was panicking, I was… scared… that it was all just a cruel joke; that I'd wake up and see it was all just a dream… Sanji…" Zoro whispered, hesitation took a hold of him for a moment before he felt him squeeze his hand.

"Yes?" Sanji breathed, his eyes were struck with hope, and Zoro's smile went from sad to warm. He didn't feel scared or panicked anymore. He just felt warmth unfurl in his chest, and he felt a pleasant buzz travel through his body. Sanji always had the miraculous ability to cast away the dark clouds, the looming doom, the heaviness, the sadness, the wretchedness, the hopelessness, and the helplessness… the _depression_.

Zoro couldn't hold back those three words any longer as he thought about how much Sanji meant to him, and they slid through his lips more easily than he thought they would.

"I love you," he murmured, feeling the persistent weight and tightness in his chest lighten. He watched as Sanji's countenance fall in shock for a mere moment before it light up with joy and tender warmth. Sanji regarded him amorously. The sheer amount of happiness, love, and warmth in his eyes simply made Zoro melt.

Zoro felt his smile reach his eyes as they wrinkled, mirroring Sanji's expression. _'What was I so afraid of?'  
_  
"Zoro," Sanji whispered as he lifted his free hand to brush his fingertips over his cheek in a light caress. Zoro's breath caught in his throat as he leaned forward. The corner of Sanji's lip quirked up in a small smirk before they both moved and closed the distance between them.

They kissed. A jolt of electricity sparked when their lips met, and traveled to the tips of Zoro's fingers and toes. His heart jumped out of his chest and soared overhead while his stomach went into a fit of spasms. It was tender, innocent, and brief, but the meaning behind this simply kiss would stick with them for as long as they were breathing.

When they parted, Sanji beamed at him, and he couldn't help but smile wholeheartedly. Sanji pulled him into another kiss, but this one was a bit more demanding, yet he didn't mind as he nibbled on Sanji's bottom lip, adoring the way Sanji tasted of cigarettes and spices. This enticed a small moan from the blonde, who buried a hand into the green hair. Sanji's heart was beating so fast in his chest that he thought he was having a heart attack for a moment. He was getting lightheaded, drunk from the sheer exhilarating and intoxicating taste of steel and something that was distinctly Zoro on his lips. They stayed like that for a few more moments, savoring each other, until they had to part for air. They panted lightly against each other's lips while resisting the urge to smile stupidly as they slowly inched away.

Suddenly Sanji's smile faltered from his face as he recalled something. Zoro felt panic grip his heart as he watched him questioningly. Wide oceanic eyes caught his.

"Chopper!" he shouted as he shot up to his feet. "I have to go get him! You're bleeding, right?!"

Zoro tried not to do it, but he couldn't help himself. He began to chuckle. Sanji flushed with either anger or embarrassment.

"Why're you laughing?!"

Zoro's laughter increased in volume before he went into a fit of coughs. Sanji had his arms crossed and a foot tapping impatiently as he waited for Zoro to calm down.

"I-it's okay, cook," Zoro rasped as he finally gathered himself. He looked up at Sanji and smiled at him reassuringly. "I'm okay. Besides, it doesn't hurt that much anymore, and look - it stopped bleeding. Leave him alone to sleep, okay?"

Sanji gave him a hard look, but Zoro held his ground. After a few moments, Sanji huffed and sat next to Zoro on the bed. Zoro's eyes widened a bit before they narrowed to fondly gaze at the blonde. Sanji kept his scowl as he took Zoro's hand. Zoro was sure there was a blush on his cheek, but with Sanji's next comment, all of the wild butterflies jammed in his stomach disappeared along with his smile.

"Zoro… You know that we're here for you, right?" Sanji had asked him so nonchalantly that he was afraid that he'd misheard him. Zoro blinked at him as he computed what he had said, and when he finally understood, he looked down at the bed sheets, almost as if he were ashamed.

"Yeah…"

"Look, Moss-ball," Sanji sighed mildly as he rested his head on Zoro's shoulder gingerly to avoid hurting him. Surprised, Zoro turned his head Sanji's way, almost nuzzling into his soft golden hair as he spoke.

"Get it into your mossy head that you can come to your nakama, to me, for support. I won't tease you about important things, Zoro. I've decided that in Kuina and Koshiro's place, I'll be there you. If you need someone to listen to your troubles, someone to spar with, or someone to talk to and help you through whatever you're going through, I'll do it. The only thing that would stop me from assisting you would be you. If you don't want my help, despite how I feel, I'd have to respect that. I won't pressure you to do anything."

Stunned silence rested upon them as Zoro listened to what he had to say, and when Zoro had processed all of his words, he barked in short laughter as he nestled his nose into the other man's soft silky hair.

"Hey! Zoro! What's so fuckin' funny?! Huh?!" Sanji shouted at him as he tried to glare up at him.

"Chopper said something like that to me earlier," he chuckled. Sanji instantly calmed in response, and after a few hesitant moments, he rested his head on shoulder again. Zoro stared at him a bit to make sure he wouldn't suddenly move before he rested his cheek on his head.

A sudden wave of fatigue washed over the green-haired man. It was probably due to the emotional rollercoaster he'd been put on, and his sudden rash action from earlier. He was just about to be pulled into a pleasant slumber, but then Sanji's low raspy voice interrupted him.

"Zoro."

"Hm?" he hummed sleepily. He could barely keep his eyes open.

"… Get off of me, you can't sleep like this," Sanji mumbled as he shifted, trying to nudge Zoro into action. Zoro was about to protest, but his limbs felt like lead, he was so tired. He lazily shifted off of Sanji. The chef helped him lie down, and before his head even hit the pillow, he fell asleep.

Sanji couldn't help but smile affectionately at his sleeping face. He ran a hand lovingly through his marimo hair and bent down to place a light kiss on his forehead, knowing that he wouldn't wake up.

"Goodnight, Moss-ball. I love you, you idiot," he whispered before he silently stood and went out the door to the kitchen. He quickly went to wake Chopper and report that Zoro had woken up, bled a little, and went back to sleep. Chopper chewed him out for it before he scurried over to Zoro to wake him and give him the same lecture.

Sanji chuckled at the grumpy face he'd imagined the swordsman having after being slapped awake. With that image in mind, Sanji strolled into the kitchen, knowing full well that it was about the time he usually started breakfast. He sighed as he pulled out a cigarette and lit it, hoping that it would help him stay awake. Staying up all night to talk about feelings he'd kept hidden with an incapacitated marimo was probably not the brightest idea, but it was something that Sanji didn't regret. It was something that he was positive that he would _never_ regret.

: -:

"Hey, Sanji?" the green-haired man called as he walked into the kitchen.

Sanji hummed mindlessly as he tasted his new sauce that he was going to serve with the fresh spaghetti he just put into a pot of boiling water.

"Spar with me."

"No."

"But-"

"No, moss-for-brains," Sanji refused calmly as he twirled around to face his marimo, who had crossed his arms over his chest in defiance. "You _just_ got permission to leave the infirmary about thirty minutes ago. There's no way in hell that I'm going to spar with you _now_. Chopper will annoy the living shit out of us if we do. Besides, I'm busy making lunch, and then I have to make all of the food for our party."

They glared at each other for a short while before Sanji puffed on his cigarette and went back to what he was doing. He couldn't burn the sauce or else he'd be wasting food…

"Then can I stay in here?"

Sanji jolted at the abrupt sound of his rough voice. Sanji glanced over his shoulder and took the pasta sauce off of the stove before he answered offhandedly, "Sure, I don't mind."

He heard a chair scrape against the wood as he began to butcher a large piece of sea king meat for Luffy. He made quick work of the meat, seasoned the fillets, pan-seared them, removed the spaghetti from the heat, and then placed the sea king fillets in the oven to finish. Just when he was about to start on two other dishes, his eyes caught the flashy green hair. He'd completely forgotten that the marimo was still here due to how focused he was, but as soon as he had seen him, he quickly turned away to hide the spontaneous flush that dusted his cheeks. Zoro was intently watching his every move, as if he were watching his prey, and it did things to Sanji.

"A-aren't you bored just sitting there watching me cook?" he asked as he tried to preoccupy himself by hacking away at vegetables with adept precision.

"… No." The hesitant response he got perked his interests as he efficiently finished his chopping to turn towards him. Sanji was sure that Zoro had more to say, so he waited for the green-haired man to go on, but when he said nothing Sanji clicked his tongue and went back to following a recipe he'd memorized. He couldn't quite focus with the feeling of those eyes on him. It was the attention that he'd always wanted from the other man, but never really got. Now that he had it, he didn't have a clue on what to do about it, until an idea struck him.

"Why don't you think it's boring?" he asked over his shoulder in an attempt to get him mind off of his spazzing stomach and heart palpations while he cooked.  
Zoro was hesitant in answering his question. He squirmed in his seat while the chef was pre-occupied. _'Should I tell him the truth?'  
_  
"Well, Moss-for-brains?"

_'… Why shouldn't I?'  
_  
"Zoro?" Sanji's tone sounded gentler as he called for him. Zoro turned back to him and caught his wonderful blue eye that peered at him in slight concern. Zoro felt his heart stutter for a moment.

'_Why the hell not?'  
_  
"I… like to watch you cook." This made Sanji freeze, and then he flushed a lovely shade of scarlet. Zoro was bemused for but a moment before he smiled. "Being around you… calms me, Cook."

Sanji was absolutely stunned. Zoro's bluntness and honesty blew him away. He held eye contact as he walked towards him, feeling compelled to draw closer to him. "'Calms' you?" he questioned almost teasingly. He was surprised at how composed he sounded as he drew nearer. "I thought I annoyed you to the point where you would be tempted to claw my eyes out?"

Zoro shook his head whilst keeping his eye on the chef's, absentmindedly standing up and taking a few tentative steps to him. "Not all the time."

"Oh? Then how do I calm you?" Sanji asked in a more curious way instead of defiant as he stood before the swordsman, not really knowing what to do now that he was in front of him. Zoro just looked at him uncertainly before he glanced away. He was reluctant to actually say why, but with the sincere way that Sanji was looking at him, he decided to be frank once again.

"Like I said, cook, it's your presence." Zoro stated factually, as if he weren't saying embarrassing shit while staring right into Sanji's large blue eye. "You don't have to do anything. You just… cast the dark clouds away… just by being there… You're like no other…"

Understanding sparked in Sanji's oceanic eyes. He was speechless as he registered Zoro's words, but his astonishment melted away as a kind smile blessed his handsome features. Now it was Zoro's turn to be dazed.

"Zoro," the blonde breathed as he pulled him into a hug, wrapping his arms firmly around the tanned neck. Zoro was frozen in place, but soon Sanji's warmth flowed into him and made him melt. Zoro's timid arms slowly draped themselves around Sanji's waist. He relished the feeling of holding the man he loved, and being held by him. He tightened his grip on his blonde. He was so enveloped in what was happening that he'd almost missed what Sanji had muttered genuinely.

"Surprisingly, I'm more flattered than alarmed by such a statement, but Zoro, you sound like you need me more than the need to eat. You do not need me that much, despite what I would like to think."

"Sanji, you don't know how much I need you…" Zoro whispered, his voice trembling slightly as he tensed. Zoro held his breath for so long until his lungs burned. _'Why did I say something so embarrassing?'  
_  
Zoro was just about to let go of his hold on the blonde, but then Sanji placed a hand in his hair. Zoro jolted, but he stayed still. Sanji began to massage his scalp in an attempt to soothe Zoro. Zoro felt the tension seep out of him, as it got easier to breath. He kept his hold on Sanji as blonde began to speak.

"No, Zoro. You don't need me as much as you think," he muttered as he held him just a bit tighter, almost choking the man. "You're strong enough, good enough, to pull yourself out of your head. You just need someone to remind you of things that you forget, and that's me. You have to know that I am but a mere side character in your struggle; you're the protagonist. You have to want this, or all of your efforts, all of our efforts, will be for naught. You're not alone, but you have to want to fight it, Zoro. You understand?"

Zoro felt tears sting his eyes, but he held them back as he nodded. He heard Sanji mumble a 'good,' as they held each other closer, practically squeezing the breath out of their lungs. _'Can I accept this? These words I've always wanted to hear? Damn, my heart hurts with the intensity of these refreshing emotions… a pleasant _ache_ I've never been blessed with… It's all thanks to him…'  
_  
"I love you," Zoro whispered harshly into his ear as he nuzzled into the golden strands like he'd always wanted to do. He felt a chuckle rumble from the chef's chest to his, the pleasing rasping of the laugh filling his ears.

"I love you too, moss-ball," Sanji murmured as he kissed Zoro's hair. "I love you too."

**Thank you so much for sticking with me till the end. I hope you liked this fanfic and have a wonderful day. **


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